Toddler Indecision

[liziz]

I need parenting help!

We are really struggling in our house with the inability of DD to make decisions. We try to give her choices when we can (or it doesn't matter) - do you want to wear pink or purple socks?, do you want a ponytail?, do you want to eat pineapple or strawberries?, do you want to walk to the car or for mommy to carry you?, etc. I hope that it gives her some sort of sense of control, and think it saves me some arguments, because she gets socks on, gets to the car, whatever it is in the moment.

The problem is that now, she'll decide ("Yes ponytail", for example), and she'll sit and I'll make a ponytail, and then about halfway through the ponytail process she starts screaming "No ponytail, no ponytail" and becomes inconsolable about it. Usually it's a pretty easy fix (take ponytail out), so if we want the tantrum to stop, we know how to make it happen.

What I'm really struggling with is my own stubbornness - I want her to make a decision and stick to it, and I don't want to have to go back and forth a thousand times, or have her think we'll cater to her every whim. 

Do you guys have this problem? What do you do?

[Lola]

I offer two choices as well. When he makes a decision, we stick to it most of the time. If he changes his mind, I usually just say "this is what you picked, lets just try it for a little while". Within a minute, he's forgotten about the other option. This is usually a dinner time occurrence.

[Liv]

Junie usually says YES! to both things I offer her. I think she'll figure it out eventually, no biggie.

[alwaysnc4me]

Like Liv's DD, if we ask her if she wants ___ or ___ she'll say yes to both. But if we actually pull both items out and ask which she wants she will point to the one she wants or say the item she wants. SO if you haven't tried it that way, maybe give it a shot?

[alwaysnc4me]

Like Liv's DD, if we ask her if she wants ___ or ___ she'll say yes to both. But if we actually pull both items out and ask which she item wants she will point to the one she wants or say the item she wants. So if you haven't tried it that way, maybe give it a shot?

[hurricanerek]

DD has been known to change her mind as well. She has very clear preferences. I typically go along with what she chooses even when she changes her mind quickly. We typically swap between the red and blue paci once or twice before she settles into what she actually wants for bedtime.

It's possible that she didn't understand what ponytail means until you start to do it.