Pre Friday !

[winogirl]

Jun 9, 2016 8:59:36 GMT -5 kensie5226 said:

Jun 9, 2016 8:37:27 GMT -5 winogirl said:

So remember how I posted that DH was a total jerk all weekend and I basically solo-parented the whole time while he slept in till 11:30 each day? (at least I think I posted that)

Well, turns out he was giving me a "test" to see if I would like staying home with Finn if he decides to go back to work.

Dude. no. that's not how this works.

It took a LOT of explaining for him to get that randomly deciding without telling me that he was going to not-participate in parenting for a whole weekend (after we just had like THREE discussions about how I feel like he doesn't help very much on weekends ) was a bad idea. "But if I told you it would defeat the purpose"
Um, seriously? You just have no clue do you??

Holy shit I would lose my fucking cool over that. He is not your teacher or parent. That is just so not how adults in a relationship should deal with each other. WTF? He could just ask you how you would feel about being home. WTF?!?! I'm really mad at this for you.

Yeah - So this was definitely part of our conversation. As I mentioned previously, I think DH may have a touch of PPA. He worries about everything - a lot. His current worry is that if he does go get a job and I go part time or stay at home that I will suddenly hate it and want to put F in daycare. DH feels like daycare will be horrible for F (since he is so needy) and wants to avoid it at all costs. 

I was like - um, you ask me what my feeling is you don't do a "test". Also - there is no way to judge by a single weekend how I would feel making SAHM my full time position for ever/long term. I mean it took him at least a couple of months to settle in to staying at home himself. 

He has apologized and I _think_ that he gets it but seriously I was definitely WTFing it. I know it comes from a good intention place and not from him TRYING to be an asshole so I'm dealing with it. 

[yummeecookee]

I think other posters have said it already winogirl, but yea, that is crap. Adults don't "test" other adults, especially not their spouses.

[winogirl]

Jun 9, 2016 9:20:03 GMT -5 colinsfebmommy said:

melimo1315 , more teeth! WoW! We are still gumming it over here

I am starting to wonder if my LO is going to skip crawling. She has been just scooting on her butt when she isn't throwing herself towards something from the sitting position lol then today she was in her crib sitting and I look over and she has both hand on the railing bouncing on her butt lol I am not sure if she is trying to bounce to gain momentum to to stand LMAO I am sitting here thinking OMG don't you dare stand without even bothering to crawl lol

we are here too! F shows no desire to crawl but he has been trying to pull up on everything lately!

[winogirl]

Jun 9, 2016 9:35:50 GMT -5 yummeecookee said:

I think other posters have said it already winogirl , but yea, that is crap. Adults don't "test" other adults, especially not their spouses.

And the way he explained it was he was try to let me "test the waters" and less of him trying to test me. Of course he said that after I exploded over the whole thing so who knows. For my sanity, I'm going with his explanation and the assumption this will never ever happen again.

[sunfrogger88]

Jun 9, 2016 9:35:38 GMT -5 winogirl said:

Jun 9, 2016 8:59:36 GMT -5 kensie5226 said:

Holy shit I would lose my fucking cool over that. He is not your teacher or parent. That is just so not how adults in a relationship should deal with each other. WTF? He could just ask you how you would feel about being home. WTF?!?! I'm really mad at this for you.

Yeah - So this was definitely part of our conversation. As I mentioned previously, I think DH may have a touch of PPA. He worries about everything - a lot. His current worry is that if he does go get a job and I go part time or stay at home that I will suddenly hate it and want to put F in daycare. DH feels like daycare will be horrible for F (since he is so needy) and wants to avoid it at all costs. 

I was like - um, you ask me what my feeling is you don't do a "test". Also - there is no way to judge by a single weekend how I would feel making SAHM my full time position for ever/long term. I mean it took him at least a couple of months to settle in to staying at home himself. 

He has apologized and I _think_ that he gets it but seriously I was definitely WTFing it. I know it comes from a good intention place and not from him TRYING to be an asshole so I'm dealing with it. 

There is a big difference between being home FT and managing baby while also trying to work. How dare he make assumptions for you?

:/

Men.

[flyliceandcoffee]

Jun 9, 2016 9:35:38 GMT -5 winogirl said:

Jun 9, 2016 8:59:36 GMT -5 kensie5226 said:

Holy shit I would lose my fucking cool over that. He is not your teacher or parent. That is just so not how adults in a relationship should deal with each other. WTF? He could just ask you how you would feel about being home. WTF?!?! I'm really mad at this for you.

Yeah - So this was definitely part of our conversation. As I mentioned previously, I think DH may have a touch of PPA. He worries about everything - a lot. His current worry is that if he does go get a job and I go part time or stay at home that I will suddenly hate it and want to put F in daycare. DH feels like daycare will be horrible for F (since he is so needy) and wants to avoid it at all costs. 

I was like - um, you ask me what my feeling is you don't do a "test". Also - there is no way to judge by a single weekend how I would feel making SAHM my full time position for ever/long term. I mean it took him at least a couple of months to settle in to staying at home himself. 

He has apologized and I _think_ that he gets it but seriously I was definitely WTFing it. I know it comes from a good intention place and not from him TRYING to be an asshole so I'm dealing with it. 

needy babies do just fine at daycare! there's so much more to distract them there that a lot of times they do better than at home (at least that's my experience). sure they sometimes have to fend for themselves a little more but that might not be a bad thing. K is crazypants needy, they just carry him more often and make sure when they do group activities he's right in the middle of it. not saying that's what you all should do but just wanted to give you a different perspective from another needy baby mama

[yummeecookee]

I agree w your needy babies assessment flyliceandcoffee. As you all know from my many posts about it, C is King Clingy. Since he's been at DC, he's mellowed out slightly in the sense that he lets others hold him - not just me.

[littleowl913]

So E just won't sleep in his crib anymore. As soon as his head hits that mattress he is up and whiny.

On a happier note, I have a cardiologist appt next week so I figured maybe I should test my BP to see how the different dosage has been working since my last appt (I haven't checked because lazy and maybe afraid of what it will say - both horrible excuses). Well I checked it last night and I did two readings 125/80 and 120/80!!! YAY! I'm a little surprised that it's working (b/c nothing has working so far) but so happy at the prospect of getting my BP under control.

[flutterfly88]

This baby is driving my batty this morning! He is so fussy and tired. I need a break. But then I feel guilty for needing one. I feel like I should be able to handle this.

[winogirl]

flyliceandcoffee, yummeecookee, thanks for the feedback! That is kind of my gut feeling too - that F would be fine and maybe even improve if he was forced to be with someone not-us for a couple of days. That's kind of why my dream scenario would be me working part time. Of course - DH would need to get a job that makes it worth it first, so I'm not going to stress about it too much.

[melimo1315]

Jun 9, 2016 9:20:03 GMT -5 colinsfebmommy said:

melimo1315, more teeth! WoW! We are still gumming it over here

I am starting to wonder if my LO is going to skip crawling. She has been just scooting on her butt when she isn't throwing herself towards something from the sitting position lol then today she was in her crib sitting and I look over and she has both hand on the railing bouncing on her butt lol I am not sure if she is trying to bounce to gain momentum to to stand LMAO I am sitting here thinking OMG don't you dare stand without even bothering to crawl lol

I know right?!?? DS1 had a full set of teeth minus 2 two year molars by 17-18 mos so this guy seems to be on the same path!

[fuzzylogic]

Tried putting E in the crib for a nap, thought she was tired, she's screaming her head off. Fail.

winogirl, that is awful and I'm so sorry he did that to you

[samelly]

My kids hate sleep. My daughter was up until 10:00 and after using the regular excuses (I'm thirsty, I need a stuffy etc.), She used "I punched myself in the eye" as a new excuse.

Baby boy was up even later. I've been co-sleeping with him and I want to work on transitioning him to the crib but I'm worried that we will both just be up all night long.

The fact that the sun goes down at like 10:40 is not helping!

[PonyGirl]

Jun 9, 2016 9:20:03 GMT -5 colinsfebmommy said:

melimo1315 , more teeth! WoW! We are still gumming it over here

I am starting to wonder if my LO is going to skip crawling. She has been just scooting on her butt when she isn't throwing herself towards something from the sitting position lol then today she was in her crib sitting and I look over and she has both hand on the railing bouncing on her butt lol I am not sure if she is trying to bounce to gain momentum to to stand LMAO I am sitting here thinking OMG don't you dare stand without even bothering to crawl lol

I'm thinking C is going to skip crawling too. He won't even attempt the slightest bit of crawling but he'll try to walk if we're holding him up.

[littleredfish]

winogirl, good on you for the zen breathing on that "talk" with YH.I think if DH said the words "I was just testing you..." the next word would be something like "GAK" as I grabbed the collar of his shirt and twisted it into a strangling maneuver before he could clarify. I SAH and I cope way better when I KNOW I'm on my own than when I'm struggling watching the other person being useless. It just adds fuel to my rage fire. Plus the kids act differently than when it's just us and it's not a one day decision. I'm probably going to be deciding right up until the end of my mat leave if this is what I really want.

Anyways, today was playgroup and my least favorite kid was there. Other peoples kids man. It's hard not to just grab the little dude by the arm and parent him for his useless mother. The ECE on duty is a saint and does everything for the mother who just sits on her phone openly discussing the open CAS case on her with her teenager. I can't even.

Then we went to the mall because I wanted to upgrade my phone. It took forever but the kids were really good. I also treated myself and bought some new underwear. Nice ones, not just a pack of cotton walmart brand ones lol. Now I'm sitting here eating leftover spaghetti and both kids are napping (WHAT!?!?! I know). It's a good day.

[kensie5226]

littleowl913, what are you on?

[ashleymarie26]

Jun 9, 2016 13:34:53 GMT -5 samelly said:

My kids hate sleep. My daughter was up until 10:00 and after using the regular excuses (I'm thirsty, I need a stuffy etc.), She used "I punched myself in the eye" as a new excuse.

Baby boy was up even later. I've been co-sleeping with him and I want to work on transitioning him to the crib but I'm worried that we will both just be up all night long.

The fact that the sun goes down at like 10:40 is not helping!

I actually snorted at "I punched myself in the eye..."


....assuming that she did not, in fact, punch herself in the eye

[littleowl913]

Jun 9, 2016 14:32:37 GMT -5 kensie5226 said:

littleowl913 , what are you on?

400 mg twice of day of labetalol and 30 mg once a day of nifedical.  She said I'm basically at my limit for a BF mom.

[kensie5226]

Jun 9, 2016 16:36:33 GMT -5 littleowl913 said:

Jun 9, 2016 14:32:37 GMT -5 kensie5226 said:

littleowl913 , what are you on?

400 mg twice of day of labetalol and 30 mg once a day of nifedical.  She said I'm basically at my limit for a BF mom.

I'm Labetalol also, but a smaller dose. I'm glad it's helping!

[rachaeleigh]

Holy shit. I just got home from my workout. I feel like I want to throw up. Damn