I'm pissed at my inlaws for doing nothing for A's birthday. My SIL, BIL and their kids each get a "party" with balloons and streamers and party plates and hats at the grandparents house. This is in addition to whatever traditional party SIL/BIL throw for the kids themselves.
Glen, A and M went there on Wednesday (which they do every single week). There were balloons on the mail box so Glen commented to A when they pulled in "looks like mom mom has a party for you!" A was so excited. Nope, balloons were to celebrate end of school for my nephews. Needless to say, Glen A and I were individually upset. The disparity among the grandchildren is appalling and hurtful.
Nevermind that M has yet to actually get a gift from my inlaws of any kind, whatsoever. Unless you count the 4T coat at Christmas that was clearly meant for A and passed off to M.
I realize this sounds petty and greedy but I'm still bitter.
It doesn't sound petty or greedy. That is so hurtful I want to smack your inlaws. Your husband should read them the riot act.
+1. I would be hurt too. Plus, at some point, your girls are going to pick up on this. Trying to explain the disparity is not going to be easy.
cocopuff I don't think it is petty. My ILs, especially MIL, favour our nephew.
On the one hand, I get it. My BIL and SIL have a very complicated situation, and as a result my in-laws are extremely close to my nephew and care for him a lot more directly. They need help, so get more attention.
On the other hand, it would be nice to be able to talk to MIL about A and not have the conversation turn to my nephew. It would be nice if they asked about her upfront instead of having me add on an update after a mile-long text about our nephew.
It just stings sometimes.
Same here. They watch my 3 nephews 3 days per week, so I get that they are very close. But Glen makes a point of taking the girls to their house once a week to foster a relationship and A ADORES her pop-pop.
It's just ridiculous that we are there every month celebrating someone's birthday and my MIL makes a huge stink about the colors and napkins and all that and how much thought she put into it for whomever we are celebrating.
They've been dubbing their house "camp in-laws" for the summer since the older nephews are out of school and thus there all day. So that was the balloons, apparently. Poor A came running in yelling "you got me balloons!!" FIL actually said "no A, they are for the boys."
my SIL does not acknowledge and vehemently denies that her parents do more for her family than ours. it's been an ongoing issue for YEARS. Even not speaking for several months didn't change it. I just get more upset now because of how it affects my kids.
That's incredibly sad. Has Glen talked to his parents about it? And told them shit like this will negatively affect their relationship with their granddaughters as they get older & realize their grandparents favor the boys?
cocopuff I don't think it is petty. My ILs, especially MIL, favour our nephew.
On the one hand, I get it. My BIL and SIL have a very complicated situation, and as a result my in-laws are extremely close to my nephew and care for him a lot more directly. They need help, so get more attention.
On the other hand, it would be nice to be able to talk to MIL about A and not have the conversation turn to my nephew. It would be nice if they asked about her upfront instead of having me add on an update after a mile-long text about our nephew.
It just stings sometimes.
Same here. They watch my 3 nephews 3 days per week, so I get that they are very close. But Glen makes a point of taking the girls to their house once a week to foster a relationship and A ADORES her pop-pop.
It's just ridiculous that we are there every month celebrating someone's birthday and my MIL makes a huge stink about the colors and napkins and all that and how much thought she put into it for whomever we are celebrating.
They've been dubbing their house "camp in-laws" for the summer since the older nephews are out of school and thus there all day. So that was the balloons, apparently. Poor A came running in yelling "you got me balloons!!" FIL actually said "no A, they are for the boys."
my SIL does not acknowledge and vehemently denies that her parents do more for her family than ours. it's been an ongoing issue for YEARS. Even not speaking for several months didn't change it. I just get more upset now because of how it affects my kids.
This all makes me so angry for you, YH, and A and M.
I'm planning on getting Botox as soon as I'm done breast-feeding, and my husband is completely against it so I may just keep it a secret.
Will he be mad when he notices?
I'm not sure he will! I'm just going to do the line between my eyebrows to start. My friend just got it and I noticed she looked healthy and rested but didn't realize what changed.
Eta: If he does notice he will think it's incredibly dumb but wouldn't affect our marriage.
This is a dumb one, but I hate the way all the product recalls are titled (like "Oh look, product X is out to kill you!") It's super glib and annoying and because they are pinned to the top of the TCF world I can't not see them.
But I think my nephew is a tad weird looking. It doesn't help that he's only growing hair in mullet-inducing areas.
I think this about my nephew too. He was a really FLK when he was born and still is now that he is older. It doesn't help that he has a large football shaped head and orange curly hair. And I'm one of those horrible people that think that there are a lot of really ugly babies out there, though I would never say so to the parents. Sometimes I think I notice odd things more because I'm in the medical field so maybe others don't pick up on it so much?
I'm pissed at my inlaws for doing nothing for A's birthday. My SIL, BIL and their kids each get a "party" with balloons and streamers and party plates and hats at the grandparents house. This is in addition to whatever traditional party SIL/BIL throw for the kids themselves.
Glen, A and M went there on Wednesday (which they do every single week). There were balloons on the mail box so Glen commented to A when they pulled in "looks like mom mom has a party for you!" A was so excited. Nope, balloons were to celebrate end of school for my nephews. Needless to say, Glen A and I were individually upset. The disparity among the grandchildren is appalling and hurtful.
Nevermind that M has yet to actually get a gift from my inlaws of any kind, whatsoever. Unless you count the 4T coat at Christmas that was clearly meant for A and passed off to M.
I realize this sounds petty and greedy but I'm still bitter.
I have a friend that has a completely different parenting style than me, and I can never decide if I feel judgey, jealous or some combination. Her son has spent one to two nights a week, every week, since he was one month old at her in-laws place. He just turned one, and her and her husband took off to the Dominican for a week and left the baby with her mom. I feel glued by the boob to my baby. Her kid seems happy, so I know I shouldn't judge. It is good she has that kid of family network available to help.
I have a lot of pent up jealousy and resentment to friends and family that have a lot of support and help. I try to just accept things and be happy for our independence and all that. But it's hard seeing my cousin go on fun dates with her husband every week and see my SIL go to concerts.
We're so lucky to have family near and a lot of support and I know that my sister is jealous because they don't have he same.
They've been dubbing their house "camp in-laws" for the summer since the older nephews are out of school and thus there all day. So that was the balloons, apparently. Poor A came running in yelling "you got me balloons!!" FIL actually said "no A, they are for the boys."
I got a promotion while on mat leave. And then extended my leave by another 2.5 years. Cry laugh emoji.
This is amazing. This would never happen in the states. Do Canadians feel women are fairly compensated?
Can't speak for all Canadians, but most people I know aknowledge the fact that we feel very lucky and thankful that we live somewhere where the populations pitch in together to support mothers.
I got a promotion while on mat leave. And then extended my leave by another 2.5 years. Cry laugh emoji.
This is amazing. This would never happen in the states. Do Canadians feel women are fairly compensated?
People always find grounds for complaint (unfortunately) but in my experience people feel that the standard benefits and 52 week job security are fair. My personal circumstances are above and beyond fair. To be able to take this additional time (albeit unpaid) and have a job to come back to is extraordinary. The fact that we can afford to do without my income during this period is a privilege I do not take for granted.
This is a dumb one, but I hate the way all the product recalls are titled (like "Oh look, product X is out to kill you!") It's super glib and annoying and because they are pinned to the top of the TCF world I can't not see them.
I completely agree with this. But I'm also hypersensitive to recalls and all things allergy related because of A, so I hate when allergies are treated so casually.
Of all the things that grinds my gears, I absolutely despise people who "debate" on life choices.
An example: the endless suburbs vs city one. One side will be all "I could NEVER raise my kids in the city, and look at my yard and I hear the birds" and the other one "yeah stuck in traffic and we spend more time with our kids blabla".
If you're happy and confident of your choice, why do you need so much to show how made the *better* choice? I mean, where I live is a decision my family took and were happy with it and where you live is where it suits your family. Why debate something that has absolutely no impact on each other?
Of all the things that grinds my gears, I absolutely despise people who "debate" on life choices.
An example: the endless suburbs vs city one. One side will be all "I could NEVER raise my kids in the city, and look at my yard and I hear the birds" and the other one "yeah stuck in traffic and we spend more time with our kids blabla".
If you're happy and confident of your choice, why do you need so much to show how made the *better* choice? I mean, where I live is a decision my family took and were happy with it and where you live is where it suits your family. Why debate something that has absolutely no impact on each other?
100% with you on this. I think for the most part people are insecure, I know I'm always questioning myself and the decisions I make, esp now that I have a kid. So it's like their shitty coping mechanism, if they can convince you that their way is the best way, then it has to be true, right?
cocopuff I don't think it is petty. My ILs, especially MIL, favour our nephew.
On the one hand, I get it. My BIL and SIL have a very complicated situation, and as a result my in-laws are extremely close to my nephew and care for him a lot more directly. They need help, so get more attention.
On the other hand, it would be nice to be able to talk to MIL about A and not have the conversation turn to my nephew. It would be nice if they asked about her upfront instead of having me add on an update after a mile-long text about our nephew.
It just stings sometimes.
Same here. They watch my 3 nephews 3 days per week, so I get that they are very close. But Glen makes a point of taking the girls to their house once a week to foster a relationship and A ADORES her pop-pop.
It's just ridiculous that we are there every month celebrating someone's birthday and my MIL makes a huge stink about the colors and napkins and all that and how much thought she put into it for whomever we are celebrating.
They've been dubbing their house "camp in-laws" for the summer since the older nephews are out of school and thus there all day. So that was the balloons, apparently. Poor A came running in yelling "you got me balloons!!" FIL actually said "no A, they are for the boys."
my SIL does not acknowledge and vehemently denies that her parents do more for her family than ours. it's been an ongoing issue for YEARS. Even not speaking for several months didn't change it. I just get more upset now because of how it affects my kids.
I just can't there would be murder in my family. The simple fact that your DH makes an effort to bring the kids there once a week is insane.
FFFC. My DS is clearly favored by my grandma. All the adults know it. They have a really special bond for some reason which I'm pretty sure stems from an argument my grandma had with me when she found out I was pregnant. But my grandma goes out of her way to ensure all grandkids are treated special. My niece is treated a little different however she is 7 years older than all the little ones and isn't around as much but is still includes and given the same as all the other kids.
cocopuff I don't think it is petty. My ILs, especially MIL, favour our nephew.
On the one hand, I get it. My BIL and SIL have a very complicated situation, and as a result my in-laws are extremely close to my nephew and care for him a lot more directly. They need help, so get more attention.
On the other hand, it would be nice to be able to talk to MIL about A and not have the conversation turn to my nephew. It would be nice if they asked about her upfront instead of having me add on an update after a mile-long text about our nephew.
It just stings sometimes.
Same here. They watch my 3 nephews 3 days per week, so I get that they are very close. But Glen makes a point of taking the girls to their house once a week to foster a relationship and A ADORES her pop-pop.
It's just ridiculous that we are there every month celebrating someone's birthday and my MIL makes a huge stink about the colors and napkins and all that and how much thought she put into it for whomever we are celebrating.
They've been dubbing their house "camp in-laws" for the summer since the older nephews are out of school and thus there all day. So that was the balloons, apparently. Poor A came running in yelling "you got me balloons!!" FIL actually said "no A, they are for the boys."
my SIL does not acknowledge and vehemently denies that her parents do more for her family than ours. it's been an ongoing issue for YEARS. Even not speaking for several months didn't change it. I just get more upset now because of how it affects my kids.
I know everyone else has already said it, but that is just so shitty. "No, they are for the boys" I mean they don't even recognize that A thought it was birthday balloons and try to do something to pretend they care? That makes me so upset for you, I would have been in a crying raging fit. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that.
I got Botox a few times before about 5 years ago and love it. I'm making an appt to get more, and possibly juvederm fillers around my mouth and maybe even lip injections!!! Lol. Probably not but I'm going to ask how much it costs.
My parents are divorced and each takes my son often since he was around 1. Not every week of course. We went to Mexico alone for my 30th birthday, and am planning a trip in the spring to DR for my husbands 40th alone. I'm eternally greatful for the help from family. Different people have made comments about this to me. I don't think it's weird.
My parents are divorced and each takes my son often since he was around 1. Not every week of course. We went to Mexico alone for my 30th birthday, and am planning a trip in the spring to DR for my husbands 40th alone. I'm eternally greatful for the help from family. Different people have made comments about this to me. I don't think it's weird.
Not weird at all, so long as you trust your parents. Color me super jealous though!
My parents are divorced and each takes my son often since he was around 1. Not every week of course. We went to Mexico alone for my 30th birthday, and am planning a trip in the spring to DR for my husbands 40th alone. I'm eternally greatful for the help from family. Different people have made comments about this to me. I don't think it's weird.
Not weird at all, so long as you trust your parents. Color me super jealous though!
My parents are divorced and each takes my son often since he was around 1. Not every week of course. We went to Mexico alone for my 30th birthday, and am planning a trip in the spring to DR for my husbands 40th alone. I'm eternally greatful for the help from family. Different people have made comments about this to me. I don't think it's weird.
Nah, man. I talked about my friend in this thread because I know I am being an ass. We don't have the support network and my baby doesn't have the temperament for me to leave him anywhere overnight. Nothing wrong with vacations.
My parents are divorced and each takes my son often since he was around 1. Not every week of course. We went to Mexico alone for my 30th birthday, and am planning a trip in the spring to DR for my husbands 40th alone. I'm eternally greatful for the help from family. Different people have made comments about this to me. I don't think it's weird.
Nah, man. I talked about my friend in this thread because I know I am being an ass. We don't have the support network and my baby doesn't have the temperament for me to leave him anywhere overnight. Nothing wrong with vacations.
+1 to all of this. I don't begrudge people who have support and family that they can leave their kids with regularly. I think it's awesome and good for you! I just wish we had the same, is all.
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