Obviously I'm holding onto the hope that once little dude gets past this set of teeth, he'll miraculously start STTN.
But in the event that doesn't happen...
Gimme all your sleep tips.
Back story: Little dude slept like a champ until about 4 months. Went from a 6-7 hour stretch followed by 2 hours, to like, 1 3-hr stretch and then up every hour. Been like that ever since.
Halp. I'm drowning and it's affecting all of my relationships, not to mention my own health, sanity and wellbeing.
Post by pickles4prez on Jun 16, 2016 19:56:52 GMT -5
Hugs mama. We haven't tried any sleep training but our baby's schedule is a lot like yours. Was a great sleeper until she wasn't. Now she wakes every 1.5 hours unless she sleeps in bed with me. I don't love co-sleeping because I sleep so light but it's the most uninterrupted sleep I get (until she yanks on my nipple to nurse)! I keep praying her sleep schedule will change to something better.
Post by rachaeleigh on Jun 16, 2016 20:06:36 GMT -5
I swear I thought of starting this same thread today. I know that I read posts daily about babies not sleeping but I just wanted you all to commiserate in one place with me.
I have no tips. The last few nights she wakes every hour crying. I pick her up, sit with her, she goes back to sleep aND back in the crib. About 11 or 12, I'm too tired to sit so she goes in our bed. Then, she pretty much sleeps
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Post by proceedwithcaution on Jun 16, 2016 21:32:17 GMT -5
I fall asleep in the rocker nightly! I used to do anything to avoid it, now I accept it. If I go to her room, it's usually about an hour before I come back because I fall asleep. It also makes it much easier to fall asleep when I do come back to bed.
I think there is a misconception that sleep training is one and done. I guess that its possible it is for some, but in my experience you're never really done. We cry trained my older daughter at 5 months out of sheer desperation. It made a huge difference but it did not make her into a good sleeper. Any time we stopped being 100% consistent she would slide backwards. Any time she got sick or was teething, long after the issue was resolved, she would keep waking, out of habit. Even at 2 she is still up several times a week. I don't mean to be a downer, but high needs isn't just for babies. And some kids just have a tough time with sleep. My mom says I didn't consistently STTN until close to age 4. For some of us, there will be a lot of nighttime crying and/or cuddling for a long time to come.
We were in the same boat, went from only 1-2 wake ups overnight to waking every hour to two hours once he hit 3.5 months. We did sleep training at 5.5 months, using a sleep consultant. Although it was pricey, I really liked the personalized approach that she took to our situation. We had done Ferber (successfully) with my DS1 but this baby's temperament was such that I just didn't feel as comfortable with it, for him.
The questions that bluebird44 posted are all key questions. For us, we started a solid 30 minute bedtime routine that included changing from nursing to sleep to putting him in bed fully awake (not even drowsy). We got a handle on his awake window during the day and moved him from 3 naps (in the swing) to 2 naps in his crib, each over an hour long.
One of our biggest issues was that he was waking up and wanting to be back where he was when he fell asleep (in my arms nursing). Once he started falling asleep on his own, it changed everything. Oh, and we moved up his bedtime significantly. He now goes down between 6-7pm and sleeps until about 6:30am.
I agree with pearlvirus. Sleep training isn't a one time deal. Anything that disrupts the normal routine causes them to backslide. I have had to retrain DD multiple times. However, each time you retrain, it's easier and faster than the first time.
I do feel that my DD is a better sleeper because of it. She wasn't connecting her sleep cycles and sleep training helped her do that. I think the older they are the easier it is to sleep train too.
We were in the same boat, went from only 1-2 wake ups overnight to waking every hour to two hours once he hit 3.5 months. We did sleep training at 5.5 months, using a sleep consultant. Although it was pricey, I really liked the personalized approach that she took to our situation. We had done Ferber (successfully) with my DS1 but this baby's temperament was such that I just didn't feel as comfortable with it, for him.
The questions that bluebird44 posted are all key questions. For us, we started a solid 30 minute bedtime routine that included changing from nursing to sleep to putting him in bed fully awake (not even drowsy). We got a handle on his awake window during the day and moved him from 3 naps (in the swing) to 2 naps in his crib, each over an hour long.
One of our biggest issues was that he was waking up and wanting to be back where he was when he fell asleep (in my arms nursing). Once he started falling asleep on his own, it changed everything. Oh, and we moved up his bedtime significantly. He now goes down between 6-7pm and sleeps until about 6:30am.
Consistency during the training was key.
Was there lots of crying with him being put down awake?
We were in the same boat, went from only 1-2 wake ups overnight to waking every hour to two hours once he hit 3.5 months. We did sleep training at 5.5 months, using a sleep consultant. Although it was pricey, I really liked the personalized approach that she took to our situation. We had done Ferber (successfully) with my DS1 but this baby's temperament was such that I just didn't feel as comfortable with it, for him.
The questions that bluebird44 posted are all key questions. For us, we started a solid 30 minute bedtime routine that included changing from nursing to sleep to putting him in bed fully awake (not even drowsy). We got a handle on his awake window during the day and moved him from 3 naps (in the swing) to 2 naps in his crib, each over an hour long.
One of our biggest issues was that he was waking up and wanting to be back where he was when he fell asleep (in my arms nursing). Once he started falling asleep on his own, it changed everything. Oh, and we moved up his bedtime significantly. He now goes down between 6-7pm and sleeps until about 6:30am.
Consistency during the training was key.
Was there lots of crying with him being put down awake?
There was crying the first few nights and for the first few naps. The training we did was "graduated extinction", so I was in the room at night until he fell asleep and was able to comfort, pick up etc. The crying was only bad the first 2 nights (lasted a total of 40 minutes), but reduced nightly after that and really only cried for a few minutes before doing this whine/humming thing, that I think was his way of lulling himself to sleep.
Now he sometimes whines a little, but generally just babbles for a bit, no crying.
One of our biggest issues was that he was waking up and wanting to be back where he was when he fell asleep (in my arms nursing).
Sigh . . . I think this is my problem too. When C wakes up MOTN, I feed him and he happily drifts back off to dreamland. I am pretty sure a 7mo old does not need to be fed every 2 hours the way a newborn does!
Post by yummeecookee on Jun 17, 2016 7:09:40 GMT -5
craftytype, when you were in the room and putting him down awake, wasnt he trying to nurse? That is what C does. My lame attempts at trying to help him get to sleep w out nursing are always failures bc he is so frantic and desperately trying to nurse, burying his head in my chest, grasping at my shirt, etc. I usually just give in.
Thanks guys - I wasn't ignoring you, I was *gasp* getting some sleep! My H took the first shift last night and was able to get him back to sleep when he woke at 11, and I didn't have to get up til 3. I feel like a new woman.
Anyway. Let me see if I can answer your questions.
bluebird44, What is your bed time routine like? - We're bad about this. Sometimes he takes a late nap, so it's hard to know when he's going to be ready for bed. Sometimes I can see it and we get in a nice quiet book, nursing/singing, down for bed. Sometimes he gets frantic all of a sudden and it's just nursing. I can't see a way to enforce an actual bedtime, so we're still usually going off of whenever he woke up last.
How are naps? Hit or miss. Usually he's close to a 2-3-4 schedule, so I put him down around 9 and around 1, depending on how long each nap was. Most of the time, if he's tired enough, I can just lay him down and he'll fall asleep on his own, but not always.
Is LO going down awake or are you transferring asleep? Both? After we did Ferber, he's much better about not having to be completely knocked out in order to fall asleep. Usually I nurse & sing him a couple songs at the same time, then when he slows down I pop him off, pop in a pacifier and lay him down. MOST of the time, he rolls over and goes to sleep. Lately though, because of teeth or god knows what, he's getting less and less able to do it.
How are you soothing LO for wake ups? Usually one of us goes in (I'm trying to get H to do it more since I'm trying to break the feeding habit), give him his pacifier and rub his back/belly or stroke his face. If that doesn't help, we'll pick him up for a minute and sort of rock him back to near sleep. If he really fights it, we'll rock him all the way back to sleep and put him down.
How many feedings overnight? Depends. I *try* to only feed him if he wakes after 1, then if he wakes up near 5 I'll nurse again just because I'd rather get another hour of sleep and it's not worth it to try anything else (he'll just wake up).
pearlvirus & @babylentilbean, this is probably my new mom showing, but I don't know how to tell if it's OK to try again when it comes to training. I know that if he's not feeling well it's probably unusually cruel, but I feel like he only goes a week or two without something bothering him. Teeth, congestion, something.
I DO think if we do it again, he'll probably take to it OK because it really did help with bedtime. We went from taking over an hour with several wake-ups, pacifier replacements and other tricks to get him to sleep; now, for the most part, it's nurse/sing and straight to bed, no issues. But he's still waking up so much in the MOTN.
And I KNOW he doesn't need to eat as often as he tries, so I'm trying not to immediately go in and nurse. Sometimes though he claws at my shirt and I give in.
Also, if anyone is curious and wants to see it, this was our chart from when we did Ferber. You can see there was progress and then BAM. It all went to shit.
allycat, when I trained I always went in to check. When we first started I gave her 5-10 minutes to try to go back to sleep in her own. If she didn't in that amount of time I knew something was wrong so I would go in and pick her up, change her diaper, and rock her a little and then lay her down once I knew she had gotten everything she needed from me (trying not to nurse at all). I still go in when she calls for me. I don't wait anymore (she is 2) bc she only ever calls for me when she needs something.
When he wakes up MOTN is crying or just quietly fussing? I try not to even go in her room unless she's is legitimately awake and not just drowsily fussing. Does he have something to try and self sooth. Our LO likes to pet things to sleep. My chest, her sheets, the crib bumpers. She also has a lovey if she wants it. I'm trying to encourage this self soothing. She also likes to look at lights quietly MOTN. If she doesn't fall back to sleep while nursing I put on our turtle which has colored lights which she stares at until she's ready to roll over and pet her sheets.
TTC #1: March 2014 Dx: MFI Medicated IUI #1: March 2015-BFP Baby Girl born 11/5/2015! TTC #2: August 2016 Medicated IUI #1: Feb 2017-BFN Medicated IUI #2: March 2017-BFP Baby Boy expected Dec. 1
allycat , when I trained I always went in to check. When we first started I gave her 5-10 minutes to try to go back to sleep in her own. If she didn't in that amount of time I knew something was wrong so I would go in and pick her up, change her diaper, and rock her a little and then lay her down once I knew she had gotten everything she needed from me (trying not to nurse at all). I still go in when she calls for me. I don't wait anymore (she is 2) bc she only ever calls for me when she needs something.
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That's more or less what we're doing at the moment. Sometimes we'll watch & wait for 5-10 minutes to see if he settles on his own. A lot of times we'll go in right away, calm him down, then leave and give him 5-10 minutes to see if he settles.
When he wakes up MOTN is crying or just quietly fussing? I try not to even go in her room unless she's is legitimately awake and not just drowsily fussing. Does he have something to try and self sooth. Our LO likes to pet things to sleep. My chest, her sheets, the crib bumpers. She also has a lovey if she wants it. I'm trying to encourage this self soothing. She also likes to look at lights quietly MOTN. If she doesn't fall back to sleep while nursing I put on our turtle which has colored lights which she stares at until she's ready to roll over and pet her sheets.
We let him be if he's just fussing. We go check on him if he's legit crying or if we can tell it's escalating to that.
I think I need to get something I can leave in there as a lovey. We got a pottery barn elephant plush blanket as a gift that I like for naps, but it's so thick I hate to use it at bedtime. I don't know that he really takes to anything, but maybe he would.
We do have a light projector thing that has cards that turn, so there's like monkeys or fish or whatever that move around the ceiling. He'll calm down and stare at it for 10 minutes, then start crying again. It's like he's like "oooh, shiny!" Then, "WTF MOM WHERE DID YOU GO?!" So it seems like it doesn't really help him settle back to sleep, just distracts him for a while.
craftytype, I'm seriously considering contacting the same sleep consultants. Our naps are all over the place which leads to bedtime sometimes being way early (last night he was ready at 6:30!) or way late (9:30). We just haven't had any luck enforcing a nap schedule and sometimes he'll wake up after 30 minutes of a nap and then want to take another in an hour and a half....
TTC #1: March 2014 Dx: MFI Medicated IUI #1: March 2015-BFP Baby Girl born 11/5/2015! TTC #2: August 2016 Medicated IUI #1: Feb 2017-BFN Medicated IUI #2: March 2017-BFP Baby Boy expected Dec. 1
I have never been one to give blankets before a year but L seems to need one to get any sort of sleep. I think it's because I cover him at night when we cosleep. It's a lightweight blanket. I noticed his naps got longer and he is sleeping better at night when he has it. I have been making sure he has it to touch and stroke when I'm nursing him before nap and bed. This way he associates this blanket with sleep. He also has a stuffed animal but I'm worried having both in their may be a problem and he blanket seems to be working on its own.
Post by pearlvirus on Jun 17, 2016 10:52:59 GMT -5
allycat with my DD1 we hired a sleep coach and I asked basically the same question - how do you know when to start when there always seems to be something wrong? Her answer was basically to just do it whenever you're ready. It's best not to do it when their really sick or clearly having a lot of teething pain, but if you wait until they are 100%, you may be waiting indefinitely.
bluebird44, Thank you for being so thoughtful! He doesn't wake up when his paci falls out - sometimes he even spits it out right away (funny to watch on the monitor), so I'm hesitant to take it away because he uses it during the day for comfort, too. I dunno. Sometimes at night he'll even be nursing, then pop off and on until I give him his paci. He goes through a couple tosses and turns without waking up fully, so I don't know if he really needs it or if it affects his wakeups.
As far as naps - sometimes he does really well with 2, sometimes he needs that third catnap if it's been a crazy day or if his first 2 naps weren't as long. You make a good point about it not affecting when he goes to bed - I tend to think he needs more awake time after, but maybe I should try to stick to our 7-7:30 bedtime regardless. It's hard to be consistent with naps since he's here some days, at daycare some days.
pearlvirus, you're probably right. We're out of town this weekend, but we probably should just bite the bullet and get back into it when we get back.
Only if he fusses for more than 10 minutes. It's not happened yet though since we've sleep trained. He's only women a handful of times and each time he's sort of whined himself back to sleep in a minute or two.
craftytype, when you were in the room and putting him down awake, wasnt he trying to nurse? That is what C does. My lame attempts at trying to help him get to sleep w out nursing are always failures bc he is so frantic and desperately trying to nurse, burying his head in my chest, grasping at my shirt, etc. I usually just give in.
No, he didn't really. I only actually picked him up a couple of times though. I actually found that my "intervening" seemed to upset him more. I ended up just quietly sitting in a chair near the bed and every few minutes I would just pat his back. After a couple of nights I started to cue in to the sounds he was making that were actually progressing towards sleep and I would leave him be if that's how it was sounding.
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