July Check In

[jennaleigh23]

becwheat freezorburn lolo918 @sherminator

Come share your joys/successes/struggles/vents for July!

[lolo918]

Hello everyone! Nothing really big to share here. Still just plodding along. I'm still job hunting and still attempting to date.

DD is walking everywhere, climbing onto everything (EVERYTHING!), and getting more vocal. She has also gotten more outgoing and is a ham when we're out socializing.

[lolo918]

Ummm, jennaleigh23, how are daycare and the new apartment?!?

[jennaleigh23]

Jul 16, 2016 22:18:33 GMT -5 lolo918 said:

Ummm, jennaleigh23, how are daycare and the new apartment?!?

Great! I'm really happy with his daycare centre. He adjusted really well and is just as happy to be dropped off as picked up!

He was diagnosed with a few allergies and asthma though. He's allergic to dogs, eggs and horses so unfortunately when we moved we had to leave my dog with my parents

The apartment is great and I got a new work from home job. I did training last week and start Tuesday!

Still dating but nothing serious.

[lolo918]

Jul 17, 2016 8:44:47 GMT -5 jennaleigh23 said:

Great! I'm really happy with his daycare centre. He adjusted really well and is just as happy to be dropped off as picked up!

He was diagnosed with a few allergies and asthma though. He's allergic to dogs, eggs and horses so unfortunately when we moved we had to leave my dog with my parents

The apartment is great and I got a new work from home job. I did training last week and start Tuesday!

Still dating but nothing serious.

I'm glad daycare is working great- I joined the gym and it's amazing how social DD has become now that she's going to the nursery there so much.

That's so rough with allergies- I hope he grows out of them. Was he a big fan of your dog?

Congrats on the job!

[freezorburn]

It's been a very busy summer. We finalized our separation agreement a couple of weeks ago, so June was a flurry of meetings and document review and just making sure that everything we had discussed had been covered.

That has all been signed and filed. We still have a few things to review on our parenting plan, but I think that's very near final as well.

In the meantime, STBX has been traveling, and our dog has been misbehaving to the degree that he can't safely be cared for by anyone other that people who he considers part of his pack, so I had the dog for over two full weeks (I usually only have him on weekends), and had DS for most of that. It's always a bit of work to balance both their needs. But we managed to come up with some good routines. It's actually been mostly positive from that standpoint, but in the meantime I worry about other areas of my life that get neglected.

Like, now that we are beginning to execute our separation agreement, I need to get my financial house in order. And, I want to start putting out feelers for part-time work. I now have a pretty good idea of what DS's schedule will be in the fall, and I think I may actually be able to work 2-3 days a week. So then it's a matter of finding someone in my field who needs PT help. Fingers crossed.

[freezorburn]

jennaleigh23, sounds like things are going well for you! Good luck with the new job!

[becwheat]

jennaleigh23, sorry about your dog! I am glad everything else is going well.

freezorburn,I wish you all the best of luck while job hunting!

lolo918, good luck with that curious kiddo!

Things are ok here. Maggie has follow-ups every month for her heart, but so far she is doing well. It is stressing me out a little though. DH watched the kiddos so I could hit up the new outlet mall nearby, that was fun!

DD#1 will be 6 in two days!!! I can't believe it! Time flies ladies...

We are all playing Pokemon Go as a family and that has been fun. Any other Pokemon people here?

[lolo918]

Happy (early) birthday DD1, becwheat! I hope the follow up appointments continue going well for DD2! No Pokemon for me.

Good luck with job searching, freezorburn! You've had a lot going on, but it sounds like you've rocked it all!

[kmmd]

I'm going to jump right in now that I've done my intro.

I'm currently trying to figure out living situations. Our separation is still quite new. It's pretty stressful for me but I'm trying to take it day by day and a little at a time so I don't get overwhelmed. All in all, this situation could be a lot uglier than it is, so I'm thankful for that, but it is still hard, especially when I'm not mentally stable.

[lolo918]

Hey hey, welcome, kmmd! One day at a time is a great approach to all of this- something I *think* all of us here have been through.

Hugs to you and let us know if there's anything we can do to help!

[freezorburn]

Welcome, kmmd.

Sorry for what you are going through with your marriage. My SIL is bipolar and I don't know much about it, only that it's hard for the whole family.

You mentioned elsewhere that you weren't feeling a lot of IRL support as you've gone through your separation, and it reminded me of a discussion that occurred recently in one of my local groups, about how there is a real phenomenon of losing friends and gaining new ones when going through a transition like this. And I think if there's one piece of advice I can offer, it's that you should avoid isolating yourself at a time like this. It can be very difficult to reach out when you aren't feeling your best, of course if your brain is telling you to stay home and be quiet and rest and recharge, you should do that. But there will also be times when you may be able to push through whatever is holding you back, and reach out to old friends, or go do something that might help you make new friends. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I know it's hard to even know what it is you need, much less ask for it sometimes. And sometimes it's hard to know who to ask. But this is one of those situations ... the way I experienced my separation, it was like the oxygen masks dropping down on a plane. You have to put your own mask on first, before you are able to help someone else.

Let us know how we internet strangers can help, even if it's only to chat.

[kmmd]

Jul 26, 2016 1:47:11 GMT -5 freezorburn said:

Welcome, kmmd .

Sorry for what you are going through with your marriage. My SIL is bipolar and I don't know much about it, only that it's hard for the whole family.

You mentioned elsewhere that you weren't feeling a lot of IRL support as you've gone through your separation, and it reminded me of a discussion that occurred recently in one of my local groups, about how there is a real phenomenon of losing friends and gaining new ones when going through a transition like this. And I think if there's one piece of advice I can offer, it's that you should avoid isolating yourself at a time like this. It can be very difficult to reach out when you aren't feeling your best, of course if your brain is telling you to stay home and be quiet and rest and recharge, you should do that. But there will also be times when you may be able to push through whatever is holding you back, and reach out to old friends, or go do something that might help you make new friends. Don't be afraid to ask for help. I know it's hard to even know what it is you need, much less ask for it sometimes. And sometimes it's hard to know who to ask. But this is one of those situations ... the way I experienced my separation, it was like the oxygen masks dropping down on a plane. You have to put your own mask on first, before you are able to help someone else.

Let us know how we internet strangers can help, even if it's only to chat.

Thank you freezor. It really means a lot that you took the time to write that response out. It definitely is a difficult and sometimes isolating situation, but even having support from you ladies helps a lot

[Deleted]

Ok so now that its august I can feel free to update. Things have been rough with SO lately, but we have talked some today and will continue. And the one thing that is so freeing is that I don't have the fear that I cant do this alone. Sometimes my independence is not in my own best interests, but know that I will burn down this house. ** Metaphorically, not literally*** before compromising on my sense of self. I will not be afraid, or intimidated of losing anything. DS and I love her, but we did it for 4 1/2 years completely solo, and can do it again if need be. The feeling that no matter what I will never be "trapped" in a relationship for finances, comfort, security, or anything else is priceless. I stay because I want to, and that is granite.