We announced to my ILs because we are staying with them right now, and I didn't want anyone to suspect why I kept running out of the room to puke. I had to share the news on our terms! Lol. We just put DS in a "big brother" shirt and let him free. It was great.
My family doesn't know yet, and won't for awhile, at least not until after my first appt. My mom may never know. Lol. JK. Maybe.
notagoddess, thebeaches, oldbaylover1024 - thanks ladies. We met with the dr today and the next step is genetic testing. We have an appt with the genetic counselor for next week and then we'll get the maternal cell-free DNA test done when I'm around 11-12 weeks and then have a follow up u/s at 14 weeks. If the DNA test is positive for a trisomy, then..... If it's negative and the cysts go away we are in the clear. But it'll be a good month before we know anything for certain.
Talking to my H, I'm going to tell my sister and see what she says about telling my parents. At this point, I almost feel like I will have to support them more once I tell them, making sure they don't freak out and get so stressed out, that I feel like waiting. But then I feel guilty not telling them, and I keep tellin myself who cares, this isn't about them..... But idk. Sigh.
I've told my work wife, my yoga instructor and a close friend. We're holding off on telling work until after our IPS results, which will be around 13 weeks.
We've been telling family slowly as the right moments present themselves. We're camping with family the Civic Holiday in August so that's when everyone who doesn't already know finds out.
Social media will get a post of this 100% genuine text message exchange between DH and I the night we found out:
Post by wildflower810 on Jul 18, 2016 16:53:05 GMT -5
We're telling people pretty early on compared to DS. But, we're in a better position to have a kid this time and it's a positive thing for us, not a shock! We told my in-laws almost immediately since we were on vacation with them and won't see them again probably until Christmas. We put DS in a big brother shirt and people got it really fast.
We are letting people at church know, with a strict request that it NOT get announced from the front. I told two of my sisters today on Skype... one was complaining about being on her period and I'm all "well I feel crappy too, but it's because I DON'T have my period." H is telling friends. Basically we're not keeping it a secret but not doing a full social media blast.
addymac, that's really tough. It will be good to have your sister's support. Your gut is right - this isn't about them, it's about you and how best to take care of yourself and your H, whether that means telling them or not. Easier said than done, but try not to let guilty feelings make that decision for you.
Post by shawnabm1320 on Jul 18, 2016 18:50:43 GMT -5
addymac, if you don't want to worry your parents, do you think they would accept that as a reason that you didn't tell them sooner? We didn't tell my grandma about DS until we had heard his heartbeat a few times, and the risk of mc was lower, because we knew she would have been devastated if something would have happened. When she asked why we didn't tell her sooner, we said exactly what o typed above, and she replied "well, that's true." She seemed to accept that it was a good reason.
Post by shawnabm1320 on Jul 18, 2016 18:54:01 GMT -5
I feel similarly about telling my mother, cosmicav. She will be the last to know, and she will not be keeping DS while we're at the hospital. And if I could avoid telling her, I would!
Post by shawnabm1320 on Jul 18, 2016 18:56:29 GMT -5
Also, when we announced to my IL's they were very happy, but they said to my DS, "Don't worry, we'll take care of you and love you." As if we were going to like forget about him once the new baby came along. It was weird. And our friend said "oh well you (DS) can be mine then." Um, weird people, we're not replacing DS, we're adding on to our family. What is this weird reaction?
Post by sweetieheart32 on Jul 18, 2016 19:17:08 GMT -5
We just called the in-laws and MIL was already telling us when she's coming post-baby and how then she'll take DD back to stay with her (many states away) for a few weeks. Wait, what? My family is excited in a normal capacity. Hopefully we can tone down MIL's expectations before the big day... over half a year from now.
Lol this thread has me worried my in laws are going to suggest they take Henry after the new baby comes. If they say that there is NO WAY ON EARTH I will be able to not be a huge bitch. Oh dear.
I think we are going the "big brother" shirt route this weekend during our visit.
Post by littleredfish on Jul 18, 2016 19:50:07 GMT -5
Close family and friends know. Plus some work people and acquaintances because DH is a blabber mouth. I'll announce on FB (my friends list is small, just distant family and friends we don't see often, not people I haven't seen since HS) after our 12wk US.
flyinghorses6 I'm not too excited to announce either. Some people really do suck and I'm already trying to find a polite but none of your business response for when I get asked if this baby was planned.
It may have been somewhere on this board I read that "Why do you ask?" or "Why would you ask that?" are semi-polite ways to fend off some of those rude questions. I haven't tried them out yet and hope there is no need any time soon.
We have told immediate family and going to announce to everyone prolly this weekend. got some booties I finally liked so gonna do the show pic as my announcement. We'll see if My 3ye old cooperates or if it's just shoes w/o feet and legs in the pic. still gonna get a pedi on Wednesday so my feet look nice.
We told my dad and step mom plus Hs parents on Father's Day at around 7 weeks or so. I just told my mom today after my 2nd apt (also in the boat of if I didn't have to tell her, I wouldn't, but it's her first grand baby and even if she can't keep her mouth closed, she has a right to know. My MIL has been chomping at the bit waiting for my ok to tell the rest of the family (first grand baby on their side too), so today I said ok, but I'll have H call grandma. I figured it was his news to share with his grandma, but now he's sitting here procrastinating calling her.
So we're at very few close friends, immediate family only, and since I'll be 12w Thursday were broadening it to extended family. Still not sure on social media, but probably around the time I start really showing instead of just looking fat.
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