loves2shop4shoes - I'm sorry, that's a lot to struggle with. Do you have a family member you're close with that can offer some advice, someone familiar with the details? Obviously, you have time and can tell her if and when you're ready. It doesn't have to be today, tomorrow, or even this month! {{hugs}}
I do. I try really hard not to burden people with it and started therapy to figure out how to navigate all this. My therapist says I should rethink telling her at all, especially if I don't want her back in my life. I'm considering that.
Being pregnant and not having a mother to call is incredibly hard. You never really realize the connection you have with your mother the way you do when you're pregnant. It's really heartbreaking, honestly. That's why I've tried my hardest to focus on what I DO have and to take this pregnancy a week at a time.
I'm not completely estranged from my mother, but she has a personality disorder (well, let's be honest... I've diagnosed her behaviors as coming from a personality disorder. Either that or she's a manipulative witch), so we're not close. It was so hard for me to not be able to rely on her or trust her for advice or help when I was pregnant with my first. She comes over once a week, and it is so taxing. It's hard, too, when you hear about everyone else having such a great time bonding over this with their moms and you can't. Hugs to you. It really is hard.
Hi ladies. Big hugs to those working through the tough family issues. You're all incredibly strong ladies.
It's been a long day here. DS woke up this morning with a fever, which is normal for a 2 year old in daycare, but he has complex atypical febrile seizures, so any illness that comes with a fever puts me on high alert. I had to go to daycare twice today to drug him up with antipyretics. I have all the guilt over even taking him to daycare but this could very well end in 2 days of cluster seizures and he'll need to be home through that, so I'm working while I can. Still makes me feel like a crummy mama though.
loves2shop4shoes I'm sorry you're estranged from your mother. While it's a different relationship, I'm estranged from my father. When I spoke to my DH about whether I should tell my father about this baby my DH thought I should let him know. So I'm going to send him a text letting him know. If he'll want more info he'll need to talk to my grandma (his mom). Not saying that's what you should do but that's how I'm handling it. Being estranged from a parent is one of the hardest things I've gone through.
PAL May '17 Siggy Challenge: Picnics - Feminist Picnic
Two MM/C 1/09/12 & MM/C 4/26/12 BFP#3 - Rainbow #1 born 5/11/13 via unplanned C-section Two CP 11/23/15 & 5/13/16 BFP#6 - Rainbow #2 born 2/10/17 via planned C-section
+1 having a hard time with other people talking about their great relationship with their parents. My dad died in 2010. Since then I've served more as an adviser for her. We're not estranged, but I don't feel like I can talk to her as a parent unless it's asking her about something that happened years ago that I don't quite remember. MIL is 85 and stuck in the 50s-60s, so conversations don't go much of anywhere there either .
It's scary but we've adjusted to it. Typical fever seizures are one per illness, quick in length and outgrown pretty quickly. He has them in clusters though (3-7 per illness), has partial focal seizures and has had them lasting up to 25 mins, so we're always on edge because we never know when he's going to wind up in the hospital. Because his condition is so different from what's normal, they always end up doing a full septic workup on him, put him in isolation, IV meds, bloodwork, lumbar puncture. It sucks big ones.
I was hopeful this morning because his temp seemed to level out overnight but I just had to go pick him up from daycare because it spiked again. He's napping now, hoping it goes back down again. At least I get to catch up on some Netflix.
PAL May '17 Siggy Challenge: Picnics - Feminist Picnic
Two MM/C 1/09/12 & MM/C 4/26/12 BFP#3 - Rainbow #1 born 5/11/13 via unplanned C-section Two CP 11/23/15 & 5/13/16 BFP#6 - Rainbow #2 born 2/10/17 via planned C-section
loves2shop4shoes, you know, I've never had someone say that to me before. There is a huge loss associated with not having a mom, though. My MIL is great, but that's different and not the same. MIL also had very different pregnancies while mine look more like my mother's (duh). I've been through the battles with siblings vs parents, too. Now we are solidly all on team "eff both parents" but it wasn't that way for many years.
I totally understand. I've got some great mother figures in my life, like MIL, BFF's mom, and my step mother, but there really is no replacing your mother. For me, I know how much I love my baby already, and I wonder if it was like that for my mom. Did she love me right away? What was pregnancy like for her? Are our pregnancies similar?
It's such a loss. And as grateful as I am for what I have, it's sad. It's a silent loss that most people don't recognize because your mother is alive. But I'm sorry for yours too, Wildflower. Hugs.
Post by flyinghorses6 on Aug 3, 2016 20:27:02 GMT -5
I'm sorry to all you ladies dealing with difficult family situations. I can't imagine not having my mother around while I'm pregnant or as a grandmother. My MIL passed away 3 years ago and well before I had DD. I feel her loss every day. Not having family in any aspect is hard.
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