I'm looking for the best way to handle this situation, or at least a good one.
The night before and the morning of my baby shower, I received several calls from friends who suddenly couldn't attend for various reasons. They asked me to relay this information to my aunt who was throwing the shower. Everyone who called mentioned that they had bought a gift and that they wanted to have their own private day with me to give me said gift, since they couldn't be there. One person actually said that they wanted to wait 3 months from now to see us. Some of these gifts can absolutely wait until whenever these get-togethers might happen, but a few of the gifts are needed right after the baby is born. Any suggestions on how to deal with this? We can very easily buy these items for us, but then we'll be stuck with multiples and newborn baby clothing that won't fit anymore.
I usually practice honesty with my friends, but gifts are gifts and I don't want to be an ungrateful jerk.
There's really nothing you can say to them that won't seem gift grabby. Just say it out loud and you'll probably see what I mean..."Hey so-and-so, I know you can't make it to the shower, but I really do need your gift now, as it's necessary for the baby right away..." My suggestion is always to plan on getting everything you need on your own. After your shower, anything that you don't have that you will need for the baby right away will be something you need to get on your own. If your friends have purchased items that are typically needed right away, they will either make time to drop it off, or have it mailed to you. If you need to buy things, and then your friends give you the same item later, or things that no longer fit, accept it graciously and then do a store return for credit.
Thank you. This is what I figured I needed to do, but it is very helpful hearing it from someone else.
What PPs have said. Buy what you need, thank the gift giver when they give you their gift, and quietly return whatever you can't use. Put the money into clothing in a larger size or whatever else you do need, like diapers and wipes.
ECB thank you, that is a smart idea. I only know what one friend bought off Amazon, but this works well for any multiples I might accidentally buy.
Bluedaisy her mother is sick with pneumonia in the hospital. She might be trying not to infect me or thinking of the length of recovery. I'm also on bed rest for 3.5 weeks and then will be having a ceserean so that might be what she came up with in her head timeline wise.
I think that any friend that is buying something essential for the baby would know to get it to you soon, big ticket items like car seat, pump, stroller, crib, things like that. Anything else can basically wait. If they don't realize that baby will be out of the clothes they bought by then or you bought multiples, then just return them for store credit. You will find that baby grows so fast that baby often moves up a size before wearing clothes or wearing them very often- this happens a lot, shower aside, so I wouldn't worry/focus on the clothes issue.
I think if your friends realize how much it would be needed before the baby gets here, then they will find a way to get it to you. Mail it, drop it off, or send it with someone else. Otherwise, just buy what you didn't get already and exchange anything that is a duplicate or wrong size.
I agree with everyone else. I just had same thing happen today for my shower. Honestly I'm Not counting on even getting the gifts. If I do great but I know a lot of times people don't follow through. But also, according to my registry none of them made purchases off of it so I figure whatever they bought probably isn't essential right away.
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