Is your SO staying with you in the hospital?

[LadyNymeria]

I had been assuming MH would stay overnight at the hospital with me, but while trying to fall asleep last night I started feeling bad that there wouldn't be anyone at the house overnight with our dog. My neighbor will take good care of him during the day, but I'm starting to feel like MH should be going home to stay with the dog while I'm in the hospital.

I wouldn't be alone - if he went home I'm sure my mom would stay, but since we're about to make a big change to my dog's life too, I feel really bad at the thought of him being alone for a night or two.

Obviously if there are any complications or I end up needing a c/s for some reason that would definitely impact our decision.

What are you and your SO doing?

[danielle]

H will stay with me bc of RCS. I wasn't able to lift DS out of the bassinet or bend to change diapers very effectively the first couple of days, so I need someone there.

[mc13]

MH will be staying with me unless my parents absolutely can't get R to bed themselves. And if he were to go home to be with her, then my mom will come to stay overnight with me. Even with a vaginal delivery with R, it was so nice to have extra hands to get the baby for me (for some reason the bassinet was taller than my bed) or change diapers.

[Deleted]

We haven't decided yet. He'd probably go home to be with DS (even though my inlaws will be with him).

[olive]

My DH stayed with me when I had my first. I had such terrible tearing I couldn't even walk or get out of bed. He changed every diaper and helped me do EVERYTHING. I don't know what I would have done without him there. I would definitely recommend him staying with you.

[merryrissmas]

SS here. DH will stay with me unless our childcare situation is such that he needs to be at home with the kids overnight (my mom may be here, but she lives 4 hours away, so it's kind of a last minute thing depending on when baby decides to arrive), and we have a good friend &nmy 2 sisters who can help out but I feel bad asking them to do overnight since they all have kids and/or their own job/life things going on.

I'm ok with DH going home to get some sleep in a real bed since the pull-out loveseat in the hospital looks terribly uncomfortable. However, last time, I had to have him come back to the hospital for the night. I had gotten zero sleep the night before, since DS1 was born at 5 am, so that night I was an absolute disaster - I was in a lot of pain, the baby in the room next door was crying nonstop so I wasn't able to rest (I felt so bad for that mom), and I just needed his help/support.

So, long story short, we're playing it by ear!

[cbowl]

As a FTM, my H stayed with me in the hospital last time. But honestly, I feel like he slept the entire time and was not helpful. I was glad he was there because I was so nervous as a FTM but this time around he will stay with me until the baby is born and then go home at night to be with my daughter.

[merryrissmas]

Oh and speaking of dogs - depending on what day of the week/time of day we go to the hospital, we will probably board our dog for a couple of days just to take an extra factor out of the equation. He's 70+ lbs and high energy, so I don't want my mom or whoever to have to deal with walking him etc., on top of taking care of the older kids.

[sodapop]

My H didn't stay the first time around. I gave birth in the evening and by the time we were in the postpartum room, it was about 11pm. We had a shared room (with nobody on the other side) and the "seat" where my H was supposed to sleep didn't even fully recline. I was feeling fine so I figured there was no need to be both tired so I told him to go home. He came back in the morning. We only stayed one night.

This time, I'd rather he goes home to stay with DS to keep things as normal as possible for him.

[singingsea]

Probably not unless I have complications. Our hospital is a 10 minute drive down the road from our house. DS will be ready for at least daddy to be home.

I was in labor so long with DS1 I sent H home to get a shower and some sleep.

[beckyrosen]

MH is staying with me. Wet have cats at home, and we live 5 minutes away so if he needs to check on them he can, but I'm sure they'll be fine.

[annapunkalunka]

Aug 24, 2016 10:03:18 GMT -5 cbowl said:

As a FTM, my H stayed with me in the hospital last time. But honestly, I feel like he slept the entire time and was not helpful. I was glad he was there because I was so nervous as a FTM but this time around he will stay with me until the baby is born and then go home at night to be with my daughter.

Exactly this. I'd like things to stay somewhat normal for C, so having him home for bedtime will be the best we can do. It'll be better for DH to get some solid sleep, too.

[NJgirl84]

With the first DH stayed and it was a big help. This time he will probably go home to help with bedtime for DS. My mom will be there but he's never had anybody else besides us overnight and we want to minimize the impact of me being gone. The only way he would stay is if I had any issues that would warrant it.

[cbowl]

merryrissmas I was just coming in to add something similar about my dog. We boarded him when I was delivering my dd. It was so nice to come home to a dog-free house so we could get settled in with the baby first.

[LadyNymeria]

I thought about kenneling him, but the place we use has really limited drop-off/pick-up times. I'd rather not use a new place when he loves the usual one so much.

[caz1221]

With DD, DH stayed in the hospital with me the whole time (2 nights). This time around, we're going to see how things go, what time LO is born, how DD is doing (my parents will be taking care of her at our house - they only live ~30 minutes away, so she sees them almost every weekend, and my mom has done bedtime before, though not a full overnight). We live ~15-20 minutes from the hospital, so DH can come and go if needed. We will probably board our dog as we did last time - we have 2 places that we love, and they will both pick him up and drop him off, so we don't have to worry about getting him to the facility.

[theotherjacobsons]

As a FTM MH stayed with me for the entire 3 day stay in the hospital. We didn't even consider any other arrangement. The chair bed thing was a joke. He slept on the floor because it was so uncomfortable. Having him there was great though.

This time we'll be at home, so unless we get transferred to the hospital, we'll be together.

We don't have pets though. I personally would want my H with me and set up a sitter for the dog, but you might feel differently.

[kerbear]

Aug 24, 2016 9:36:43 GMT -5 olive said:

My DH stayed with me when I had my first. I had such terrible tearing I couldn't even walk or get out of bed. He changed every diaper and helped me do EVERYTHING. I don't know what I would have done without him there. I would definitely recommend him staying with you.

wss. I didn't change a diaper in the hospital. DH really stepped it up.

We'll play round 2 by ear bc of DS. My hope is DH can stay with me but if he can't and needs to go home for DS, I get it

[olive]

LadyNymeria how far is your house from the hospital? As a first time dad I would bet your husband will not want to leave you or the baby at all while you're at the hospital. If you're not far from the hospital maybe he can go home and visit the pup. I'd recommend finding a sitter to stay with your dog so it's just something you don't have to stress about learning everything at the hospital before coming home!

[cassey910]

With DS he stayed with me the entire time.
With DD he stayed with me all night but went home to put DS to bed at night and spend some time with him during the day. My parents stayed the night with DS and his parents stayed during the day. It worked out good.

[thekatezombie]

I'm hoping he'll be able to hang out (and possibly bring ZombieBoy along) during the day, but at night he'll be going home. I wish he could stay, but there's nobody in town I'd ask to watch him overnight unless we really had to. They might be willing, but I don't want to ask that of anyone, and all of our family is halfway across the country.

Mr. Z's mom is planning to come visit, but I'm having her hold off for a while. Having a houseguest in the first weeks while we're trying to bond sounds so overwhelming.

Mostly I'm just hoping that they release us fairly quickly so I don't have to stress about things so much.

[fem]

He'll go home with DD, even though my Mom will be there. Honestly, last time I sent him home after the first night because his couch in the room was super uncomfortable and I couldn't handle tired husband on top of everything else.

Hospital is only 5 minutes away from our house though.

[LadyNymeria]

Aug 24, 2016 11:21:25 GMT -5 olive said:

LadyNymeria how far is your house from the hospital? As a first time dad I would bet your husband will not want to leave you or the baby at all while you're at the hospital. If you're not far from the hospital maybe he can go home and visit the pup. I'd recommend finding a sitter to stay with your dog so it's just something you don't have to stress about learning everything at the hospital before coming home!

25-30 minutes so not too far.

We'll be covered during the day by my neighbor. We even have it set up that my in-laws will bring him a blanket that smells like the baby before we go home. It's the overnight I completely forgot to figure out. I'm sure he'd be fine in the house alone over night with my neighbor taking care of him during the day. It just makes me feel bad thinking of him being alone (bad enough that these damn pregnancy hormones have me tearing up at my desk writing this which is really annoying because it's nothing to cry about!).

[hurricanerek]

We'll probably play it by ear. The hospital is not even 15 minutes away from our house so it's not unreasonable for him to go home for the night. For my last delivery, he slept at home the first night since I was just starting Cytotec for my induction. The rest of the three nights he stayed with me because night #2 was active labor/delivery and the other two nights I needed lots of help with DD because tearing sucks.

I can see him staying the night this time but maybe going home to put DD to bed and then returning to the hospital. I do feel bad because the hospital pull-out is small and uncomfortable.

[watermelonseed]

MH stayed with me throughout the entire stay. I honestly do not know what I would of done if he didn't. I had some little issues come up after birth with a fainting episode and passing a baseball sized blood clot though. He did go out to pick up a few things 2-3 times and some frequent walks when my mom came to visit.

Since I was only 34+4 I was discharged after the 2nd day but they had DD stay 1 extra night just in case. DD stayed in our room after the first night since she passed all the monitoring. After the discharge we were moved to a "family room" with no assistance unless DD needed something.

Since we lived about 40 minutes away they also made sure both rooms had two beds for us. That was great! It's a women hospital but something to consider checking into ahead of time if you may be on the fence.

[rufus426]

DH will be staying with me. We have two dogs but my mom is going to hang with them. I'd personally rather have my DH with me and the baby than the dogs.

[cbrandt1]

If MIL is here then he will not come home, but if she doesn't arrive in time, then he will have to make trips back and forth. We were planning on boarding our dog but since we've moved, we don't have a new facility yet. So I don't know what we will do. I guess DH would just have to make trips...

[lpj]

With DD, DH stayed with me. This time he went home to be with her overnight, and because this time I was in a shared room and he only had the option of sleeping in a chair.

[eboyd83]

We have a toddler who had never spent a night away from us. Who know what hours of the day or night we end up going to the hospital and I don't want to make it more stressful for her.

[serendipity731]

Last time DH stayed with me the whole time and our dog was with my mom. He will stay with me this time as well. My mom will be with DS and our dog pretty much lives with her now.

LadyNymeria, is it possible for your mom to stay at your place overnight with the dog so your DH could stay with you?