Unsolicited parenting advice and stupid comments

[katelou]

anyone have any good ones to share?

[melody330]

I get a lot of unsolicited sleep advice from people. Most of it I tune out because I've probably tried it. I'll have to try and remember some of the more asinine ones!

[Ray]

"You don't have an ugly baby!"

From someone where it was just really funny and not rude lol

My mom is constantly suggesting to put a sweater or mitts or a blanket on him because he must be perma-cold.

My dad said at the hospital: what do you do, just hold him when you drive? They can't make car seats for them that small do they? 😳

[littlesthobo]

Ooh these should be good! I've got a mix of comments from DS1 and L, and they're pretty much all from my mother:

"Are you sure you should be doing that?" When I told her I was going out for a walk with DS1 and the dog. At 6pm. In broad daylight. On Main Street in my tiny little town. She was worried about someone snatching DS1. To the point where I found printed off emails (not sure why she printed them?) to my aunt about it.

"Don't hit his head in the table" as I was simply sitting holding DS1. Oh? Not supposed to do that?

"Maybe he's got his days and night mixed up" when I told her how many times I was up at night with L in the beginning. No, pretty sure he's up because he's a newborn!

"Make him take a soother!" So many people told me this! Why? He hates it! Why is this so important to everyone?

I'm sure I'll be back with more.

ETA more: "he's dehydrated! Take him to the doctor!" with DS1 when I was BFing him. I looked up the signs of dehydration, he was definitely not dehydrated! Again, newborns eat a lot!

[mcktymck]

I mentioned some yesterday but I'll say them again, and more. They're all from my mom of course!

- "You can't pick him up every time he cries or he'll become spoiled, it's okay to let babies fuss!" This was when he was not even two weeks old, and his "fussing" was screaming.
- "Your cousin ___ used to flap his arms like that and he has autism, remember?" Also, "Maybe he is ADD!" Because he's constantly moving. Because he's a baby.
- In regards to the carseat "I think you're making the straps too tight around his neck!" Uhhh no, this is how tight you're supposed to make them, stop saying this literally every time we buckle him in.
- "Maybe he's allergic to dairy, your niece was allergic to dairy and she had to go on special formula, you should talk to the pediatrician about testing him for dairy allergies!" Because he was gassy, even after I told her I had already talked to the doctor and was assured it's perfectly normal for babies to be gassy.
- "He's sleeping too much, you need to wake him up during the day and not let him nap so long or he won't sleep at night." Again, when he was TWO WEEKS OLD.

She had three babies and I'm honestly not sure how we all survived at this point haha

[madamewaffles]

OMG at these.

My mom throws shade on my NOD style. Every time: "With you and your sisters, I nursed every 3-5 hours on the clock, for 15 minutes on each side. Done." When I asked her how that worked with cluster feeding she looked at me like I had 5 heads.

Otherwise I don't really talk to anyone else but you guys and you're awesome so...

[Susan0utLoud]

Pretty much all of the stupid comments and bad parenting advice we get is from MIL. She hates that we give our kids paci's. I don't see why she is so passionate about this, but she is. She told me to put hot sauce on the paci and then the baby won't want it anymore. Ok, no. But then she told me that she did that with my Dh and he liked the hot sauce so she got the hottest sauce she could and tried that. He didn't take the paci after that. I am still pissed at her for hurting my Dh as an infant.

[sarcaztic10]

With L I was told to put whisky on his gums when he was teething. It was by some old guy in a checkout line, definitely a classic.

None with this LO but MIL will be visiting soon and doesn't care for my parenting style so I am sure I will get some comments.

With L she constantly commented on how we held him too much. She thinks kids should just be able to sit in one place and make no noise. She has a story about how SIL used to sit H's nephew down in his high chair in another room and just leave him there for a few hours. She also hated that I coslept with L and had a nap and bedtime routine that was longer than 5 minutes. She thinks we should be able to just lay babies/toddlers down in their room and leave with no soothing or routine at all.

[comicSans]

I love my mil but she's a bit old school with some things.

She kept saying to baby, you need to learn to sleep at night and not so much during the day. I told her 15 times a day he does sleep at night, he just prefers to be held. We're not sleeping that much, but he sleeps fine, and not that it matters, but he has good awake periods through the day. And he sleeps good during the day because...you're holding him.

With my kids I could never eat something like chili with all those beans. Ok. Recent bf research says that breast milk is made from what's in the bloodstream, not my digestive tract. Also there's not pattern to him sleeping less or more.

When he's awake for 2 hours just wake me up and I'll keep him so you can sleep. Very generous, but there's never been a time when he's awake for 2 hours at night. Again, that's not the issue.

He's been sleeping a lot today. We'll have to wake him up and get his wiggles out so he sleeps tonight. No.

[willow]

Whenever I read threads like this, I become thankful for my incredibly sane parents, lol. I live with them so thank goodness they don't say shit like this. They have done nothing but support all my decisions so far, and have been helpful at times when I'm not sure what to do.

[cavewmn]

Said this already but I have been told by my in laws that circumcising is cleaner than uncircumcised like DS is.

My mom gives such out of date advice.
- Give him prune juice for constipation. (No wonder I have stomach issues)
- She would approve of letting him CIO anytime/all times. (Then she can't understand why I have anxiety issues and such.)
- When we were told he has clubfoot before he was born she told us to buy the stiffest shoes possible. Which now they say is one of the worst things you can do.

MIL was surprised we weren't giving him baby cereal yet. All her sons have major IBS issues.

[housecarder]

FIL is pretty old school and tell H all the time that we don't have to hold Finn every time she cries.

DH's aunt was visiting and while I was wearing Finn she turned to MIL and said "so and so used to wear her baby like that all the time and now he has to see a physical therapist because his muscles never developed" ...cool story bro.

With twins I get weird ones a lot, mainly "Oh twins!?" Nope I stole this one...
Or "better you than me" and even "I'd kill myself" really? Two babies is that bad to you?

Because Finn has a blue carseat (it only came in pink and blue and I wanted to be able to know who's is whose so got different colors) people always ask if I have a boy and a girl, even when she is in pink or wearing a bow.

[icaughtfire]

I keep getting a lot of "you're spoiling him by holding him/picking him up when he cries." So...I'm just supposed to stare at him while he screams? Does not compute.

When my grandma is here she always comments on me nursing on demand. "He can't be hungry, it hasn't been 3 hours." I've explained to her numerous times that when he was first born we had to be sure he ate every 2-3 hours because he was always sleeping. Now he's awake more, so if he wants to eat every hour, whatevs.

MIL bought me some cheapy Evenflo carrier that has like zero support & looks uncomfortable for me & him so I can "do things around the house with both my hands." When H told her I wear E in a wrap she said "yeah but that's not hands free, she still has to hold him." H tried to explain how a wrap works but she insists they're not supportive enough to wear him without holding on to him. I can assure you it's more supportive than this flimsy ass carrier you bought, MIL.

[melody330]

B was screaming while at my ILs tonight. Nothing was helping. Mil follows me around saying "oh no no no no no Benjamin! No crying no crying.!" Wtf??? Then asks me if I've tried playing him music.

No.

Go away.

[roccobabyk]

My Mom is usually the one who gives me terrible/unsolicited advice with DD and now DS too. DD has always been obnoxious in the car and she used to tell me to forward face her (before she was even one) because she can't understand how rear facing is safer if she cries all the time and I get distracted.

Recently she told me DS needs a pacifier because I told her we had a rough night of him not sleeping well.

My favorite thing to hear from people my Mom's age when you tell them something you're supposed to do that's proven safer than what they did is "how did you kids ever survive?" I usually answer with I honestly don't know.

[cavewmn]

Ugh I hate when MIL tells him not to cry

[madamewaffles]

Sept 4, 2016 20:16:29 GMT -5 roccobabyk said:

My Mom is usually the one who gives me terrible/unsolicited advice with DD and now DS too. DD has always been obnoxious in the car and she used to tell me to forward face her (before she was even one) because she can't understand how rear facing is safer if she cries all the time and I get distracted.

Recently she told me DS needs a pacifier because I told her we had a rough night of him not sleeping well.

My favorite thing to hear from people my Mom's age when you tell them something you're supposed to do that's proven safer than what they did is "how did you kids ever survive?" I usually answer with I honestly don't know.

.

I feel like Regina George when I tell my mom, "Stop trying to make pacifiers happen. They're never going to happen!" Believe me, lady, I'd much rather be able to put a paci in his mouth instead of my boob when all he wants is to suck. She is constantly trying to get him to accept one. Poor thing just gags and coughs.

[cavewmn]

Sept 4, 2016 22:43:06 GMT -5 madamewaffles said:

Sept 4, 2016 20:16:29 GMT -5 roccobabyk said:

My Mom is usually the one who gives me terrible/unsolicited advice with DD and now DS too. DD has always been obnoxious in the car and she used to tell me to forward face her (before she was even one) because she can't understand how rear facing is safer if she cries all the time and I get distracted.

Recently she told me DS needs a pacifier because I told her we had a rough night of him not sleeping well.

My favorite thing to hear from people my Mom's age when you tell them something you're supposed to do that's proven safer than what they did is "how did you kids ever survive?" I usually answer with I honestly don't know.

.

I feel like Regina George when I tell my mom, "Stop trying to make pacifiers happen. They're never going to happen!" Believe me, lady, I'd much rather be able to put a paci in his mouth instead of my boob when all he wants is to suck. She is constantly trying to get him to accept one. Poor thing just gags and coughs.

Even if pacifier was taken you could spend a ton of time putting it back in the mouth..... I have had a few nights like this.

[mcktymck]

Sept 4, 2016 20:16:29 GMT -5 roccobabyk said:

My favorite thing to hear from people my Mom's age when you tell them something you're supposed to do that's proven safer than what they did is "how did you kids ever survive?" I usually answer with I honestly don't know.

Yep, I hear that a lot from my mom, as well as "I have raised three kids you know!" So obnoxious. I keep trying to explain that, while that may be true, things are different now and many best safe practices are different than when she was having babies. I mean really, my grandma is constantly talking about how back in her day there was no such thing as carseats, babies were just laid down in the back, and they slept on their bellies. Shit changes, most of the time for a very good reason!

[Ray]

Apparently my mom just fed me 2% from the get go!

[katelou]

There should be a section in the baby book for these haha.

The other day I got "you can tell you're a STM, not bothering to put socks on the baby!" It was 95 degrees outside.

With Dd1 I got a ton from MIL on BFing. She was so confused by and antagonistic toward it for whatever reason. Tons of "Why don't you give yourself a break and just pump and give a bottle?" Um, because that's 3x more work for me.

She also told me to remember to wash the baby 'top to tail'. Yes, because I had no idea I shouldnt use a washcloth on her butt then put it on her face.

[cabbagecabbage]

Sept 5, 2016 7:58:09 GMT -5 Ray said:

Apparently my mom just fed me 2% from the get go!

My mom had to wean at 3 months due to some medication she went on. Instead of formula, she gave me raw goats milk. Thanks, mom! This is probably why I'm your fat kid. You messed me up at 12 weeks.

[housecarder]

My grandma once told me that they used to feed babies evaporated milk from the can. What?!

Yesterday I was throwing DS up in a ruck and FIL rushed over to "help". I had to tell him "thanks but no thanks" since him trying to help would cause me to lose my place and not get it tight enough to be safe. They thought I was crazy at first but after 5 minutes of DS running around Ulta they realized why I wore him.

[cavewmn]

housecarder My mom told me the same thing just watered down! She never did this since we all had to be on soy milk.

[TheTuna15]

I just caught up on these. The outdated advice is hilarious. I'm semi lucky that I'm first generation in this country, so most of my family has old school foreign advice which basically translates to exactly what I'm doing now. My grandmother still doesn't understand the formula concept or why people don't wrap their babies up to carry them.

My mother on the other hand..... I constantly get. "She's too hot" "too cold", "the straps are too tight." But my mother also used to let DD1 run around the backyard with sticks in her hands. So not exactly the best authority.

[madamewaffles]

Omg to the "He must be cold!" comments! It's 95 freakin degrees outside, he does not need to wear a snow suit. DS has pretty much lived in a onesie and diaper since birth.

[cabbagecabbage]

This showed up in my facebook memories. I guess my BFF posted it when my daughter was a newborn. Hilarious!

www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/hello-stranger-on-the-street-could-you-please-tell-me-how-to-take-care-of-my-baby

[melody330]

Sept 7, 2016 8:29:45 GMT -5 madamewaffles said:

Omg to the "He must be cold!" comments! It's 95 freakin degrees outside, he does not need to wear a snow suit. DS has pretty much lived in a onesie and diaper since birth.

I get this a lot too. My MIL is almost obsessed with having his feet covered. She bought him socks for her house and puts them on when we go over there..... And then comments on why he has a weird rash all over his face. It's a heat rash...because you made him hot with a blanket and socks.

I don't get it.

[littlesthobo]

An older family member asked me when L would start eating baby food. I told her that the recommendation was six months, to which she responded "how is he going to survive?" Ummm... same way he's survived these past six weeks?

[cavewmn]

Sept 9, 2016 14:59:33 GMT -5 melody330 said:

Sept 7, 2016 8:29:45 GMT -5 madamewaffles said:

Omg to the "He must be cold!" comments! It's 95 freakin degrees outside, he does not need to wear a snow suit. DS has pretty much lived in a onesie and diaper since birth.

I get this a lot too. My MIL is almost obsessed with having his feet covered. She bought him socks for her house and puts them on when we go over there..... And then comments on why he has a weird rash all over his face. It's a heat rash...because you made him hot with a blanket and socks.

I don't get it.

W's grandparents are opposite. I bring him with pants on because their house is cold. I come back and he is in just his onsie with feet like ice.

She is to lazy to put pants back on after changing his diaper. Although she does change it quite a bit.