I'm having trouble wanting to go with the bf to hugs friends get together tomorrow at his house. I would finally meet the gf of his friend, who had been wanting to meet me forever. There's just something about her, even though I haven't met her, that I don't like. Totally random
My ILs are coming tomorrow for four nights and we plan to tell them our news. I really can't complain too much because they really are lovely and helpful, but they are over the top about their grandparenting. Like, overwhelmingly smothering over the top. And since I just feel so sick and tired all the time, it's hard for me to appreciate their enthusiasm. I'm definitely not one to try to hide my feelings and pretend all is well, so as soon as it's all laid out, I'll just resume my perpetual laying on the couch state. All MIL wants to focus on is how magical and wonderful pregnancy is, and since I don't fit that category, it leads her to believe I'm not excited or happy (during my last pregnancy, after staying with us a week, she actually asked my husband if he had to convince me to have a baby because apparently I showed so little interest).
Sorry if all that sounds strange. To;tr my ILs and I have a strange relationship when I'm pregnant.
Post by onesweetworld on Sept 9, 2016 19:47:20 GMT -5
That's weird vasc. Even if you explain to her that every pregnancy is different and you are still happy and just feel like death, it doesn't get better?
That's weird vasc . Even if you explain to her that every pregnancy is different and you are still happy and just feel like death, it doesn't get better?
I can't say I was ever that blunt with her. They don't live locally so it's not like she's in my face about it all the time. But it really pissed me off when H told me she asked that, after the fact, because then HE had self-doubt too.
Really I just wish they'd validate my experience a little more. My mother never passes up the opportunity to ask how I'm doing...she of course is interested in baby talk too, but since I'm her baby, she cares about me. MIL doesn't really do that...it's all about baby (which is currently the size of a raspberry, and honestly we haven't had our first appointment to lay eyes on it yet, so to me it's still really hypothetical except for my physical symptoms).
Post by LydiaDeetz on Sept 9, 2016 22:52:59 GMT -5
How do I go about telling a friend that has been struggling with infertility about this pregnancy? I've known her for 15 years and we're the type of friends that go a year or two without talking, but are able to pick right back up without missing a beat the few times every couple years we get together. I know she's had 2 miscarriages and at least one failed IVF transfer. We live 650 miles away from each other, so getting together in person isn't possible. She's a teacher that isn't tech savvy either. I know she'd be thrilled, but I also know how much it hurts to see everyone but you having babies. Do I wait and email her an announcement when we tell others? Do I call out of the blue and work it into the conversation? I guess I'm struggling for the right words since I know I would be both happy and sad if it were me.
On an unrelated note, my appointment with the endocrinologist went well. My thyroid levels were just barely on the cusp of being hyper, which he said was most likely pregnancy related and fine to just monitor for now. He said he'd be surprised if it didn't resolve itself in the second trimester, so yay for no pills yet!
Post by ourcrazynavylife on Sept 9, 2016 23:01:04 GMT -5
LydiaDeetz I know the advice I got from GKU when I asked a similar question was to send the email. It gives her time to process it on her own terms and she doesn't have to "fake" feelings in the same way as if she was on the phone with you. I would send her a personal email before your mass announcement.
How do I go about telling a friend that has been struggling with infertility about this pregnancy? I've known her for 15 years and we're the type of friends that go a year or two without talking, but are able to pick right back up without missing a beat the few times every couple years we get together. I know she's had 2 miscarriages and at least one failed IVF transfer. We live 650 miles away from each other, so getting together in person isn't possible. She's a teacher that isn't tech savvy either. I know she'd be thrilled, but I also know how much it hurts to see everyone but you having babies. Do I wait and email her an announcement when we tell others? Do I call out of the blue and work it into the conversation? I guess I'm struggling for the right words since I know I would be both happy and sad if it were me.
On an unrelated note, my appointment with the endocrinologist went well. My thyroid levels were just barely on the cusp of being hyper, which he said was most likely pregnancy related and fine to just monitor for now. He said he'd be surprised if it didn't resolve itself in the second trimester, so yay for no pills yet!
Email a week prior. It gives her time to process and respond on her own terms. If you'll be announcing on social media and she's on as well, tell her you understand if she needs to defriend or hide you for a while. She may respond right away or not at all. This way, it's on her own time to respond and she's not blindsided by a phone/text/in-person convo
And the unisom/b6/Zantac combo seems to be working for the most part provided I don't have coffee and stick to black tea. I'll take it. Coffee, I'm coming back for you in ~8 weeks
PCOS / Hypothyroidism TTC - March 2009 BFP1 DS 06/2012 TTC - July 2013 BFP2 Due 03/2016, MMC 08/2015, Emergency D&C BFP3 Due 02/2017, MC 07/2016, Natural MC BFP4 Due 04/2017, Boy!
How do I go about telling a friend that has been struggling with infertility about this pregnancy? I've known her for 15 years and we're the type of friends that go a year or two without talking, but are able to pick right back up without missing a beat the few times every couple years we get together. I know she's had 2 miscarriages and at least one failed IVF transfer. We live 650 miles away from each other, so getting together in person isn't possible. She's a teacher that isn't tech savvy either. I know she'd be thrilled, but I also know how much it hurts to see everyone but you having babies. Do I wait and email her an announcement when we tell others? Do I call out of the blue and work it into the conversation? I guess I'm struggling for the right words since I know I would be both happy and sad if it were me.
On an unrelated note, my appointment with the endocrinologist went well. My thyroid levels were just barely on the cusp of being hyper, which he said was most likely pregnancy related and fine to just monitor for now. He said he'd be surprised if it didn't resolve itself in the second trimester, so yay for no pills yet!
Email a week prior. It gives her time to process and respond on her own terms. If you'll be announcing on social media and she's on as well, tell her you understand if she needs to defriend or hide you for a while. She may respond right away or not at all. This way, it's on her own time to respond and she's not blindsided by a phone/text/in-person convo
Seconded.
I was thinking about this recently and I do have a friend I will have to tell via text (I don't know her email) before the news gets out.
This morning (all day) sickness is kicking my butt. I have an in home PopUp today an hour away, and the hauling of the clothes is rough. DH packed my car for me, and hopefully the hostess will help unload and reload when I get there.
Post by mustloveerica on Sept 10, 2016 14:07:30 GMT -5
So we were supposed to go to a birthday party for these 3 year old twins today. I wasn't going to go originally. It's my stepdads nieces kids and I don't really know them well. But my mom talked me into making an appearance thinking if I suck up to the twin mom maybe she'll give me some hand me down twin stuff.
So we went to target and got birthday cards and super cute tshirts for the twins. Then drove an hour to the party. We knocked on the door and the mom answers and says "oh hi. The party is cancelled. The boys are teething and having a hard time today." I said oh and tried to offer her the gifts anyways and she goes "oh no. No gifts. They are not behaving well for gifts today."
So we walked back to our car with gifts in hand and drove home. My mom called me like 10 minutes later and said the same thing happened to her.
What. The. Fuck. Who cancels a party and doesn't bother telling anyone. And are three year old still teething? I'm just so confused about the situation.
So we were supposed to go to a birthday party for these 3 year old twins today. I wasn't going to go originally. It's my stepdads nieces kids and I don't really know them well. But my mom talked me into making an appearance thinking if I suck up to the twin mom maybe she'll give me some hand me down twin stuff.
So we went to target and got birthday cards and super cute tshirts for the twins. Then drove an hour to the party. We knocked on the door and the mom answers and says "oh hi. The party is cancelled. The boys are teething and having a hard time today." I said oh and tried to offer her the gifts anyways and she goes "oh no. No gifts. They are not behaving well for gifts today."
So we walked back to our car with gifts in hand and drove home. My mom called me like 10 minutes later and said the same thing happened to her.
What. The. Fuck. Who cancels a party and doesn't bother telling anyone. And are three year old still teething? I'm just so confused about the situation.
Man, I'm sorry. On the teething thing, DS didn't get his first tooth until after 13 months so it's possible they are. I think there's molars that pop around that time but I'm not positive. That said, give them some Advil and have the damn party.
Post by mustloveerica on Sept 10, 2016 14:14:48 GMT -5
hpnegirl right? I mean at 3 years old they probably couldn't care less about the party. But 3 year old are just expected to be cranky. Have the party anyway. If they're cranky, who cares? People are really just there to socialize anyway.
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