Sleep training thread

[peachesncream]

Come in and drop your sleep training wisdom on me!

[rachelilly23]

Yassss. Need this. After this weekend, I'm going to have to give it a whirl since I can't take the state of sleep as it is much longer (K and I will be away this weekend visiting my cousin.)

[peachesncream]

So C has been sleeping in the Merlin in the PNP bassinet attachment (not a normal bassinet, this one is sloped so it is more like a RNP). If we don't get to her immediately she will roll over in it. Personally that was a huge red flag so last night I tried no sleepsuit and putting her to bed in the crib awake. DH got pissed at me and told me now was not the time and to put her to sleep the way we always had. Went in when she woke at 11:30 to find her basically standing in the PNP bassinet hahahaha! For the rest of the night she slept in the Merlin in the crib and we had a really nice stretch from 3 to 7 or so but she still is able to roll over so we need to ditch that ASAP.

Basically I need to wean from everything (Merlin, PNP, rocking to sleep) and I need help. She is incredibly active when I try to put her down drowsy, I am not sure she will ever settle enough or self-soothe enough to put herself to sleep. So halp, plz!

[peachesncream]

What I did with DD1 is I would rock her for 5 minutes (I would time it). At first she would startle awake when I set her down and that's when I sort of started the timer for Ferberizing. However, me going in there and patting her back, talking to her, etc. did nothing to soothe her so I basically switched to full on CIO. It was 3 days of hell and now DD1 has been an amazing sleeper ever since. We still rock briefly but I slowly cut down the rocking time until now we basically rock her for 1-2 minutes and we put her down awake (she's 2, I know this sounds really weird, but it works amazingly for us). I just am not convinced this approach will work for DD2.

[chatterbox]

I'll be in here soon. He has his 6 month appointment next week, so I think I'll wait until then.

[sunshineshades]

I've been reading up on the precious little sleep website and facebook group so I have a plan when I start.
She recommends starting with bedtime and for naps doing whatever to get them to sleep until night sleep is good. The #1 thing she says is they need to learn to fall asleep on their own. To nurse or bottle 20-30 minutes before they are to be asleep.
Also to gently night wean vs cio for motn feedings.

My plan is to ferberize for bed starting next week.

[JoeLies]

I won't write a novel, but basically night weaning at 5 months made a huge impact with DS1 (the pediatrician suggested it due to his size) and then we did some mild Ferberizing around 8 months when he no longer passed out while nursing. MOTN more or less resolved itself once he could pop his paci back in.

DS2 is just so inconsistent with his sleep - he may STTN 10-11+ hours one night and keep us up for hours the next night - so I'm not sure how sleep training will go when we're only actively doing it here and there. That said, he was waking only once or STTN from 6 weeks to 5 months (until a stupid cold threw everything off) so we've decided to try night weaning first. Putting him down isn't an issue YET - he goes down drowsy for naps but usually passes out on the boob at night - but we may need to implement a little Ferber in the MOTN if nightweaning doesn't discourage his wake-ups. I have no idea if it'll work on him like it did for his brother. I suppose we'll eventually find out.

[paloslee]

Hugs to the mamas with other LOs. I know its more difficult to not wake up the whole house. LO goes down by 730 and if he does wake at nite we let him try to soothe himself for a few min. We then just stand by the crib and we don't pick him up. H has tried holding him and it makes it much worse. So leaving him in the crib works because usually just needs to feel our hand on his chest and he'll settle back down.

[halfahippy]

I really want to try sleep training again. We tried about a month ago and it was horrible. We tried Ferber, which worked great for DS and he was doing awesome by day 3 or 4. With DD after 2 weeks she was still taking at least an hour of crying to fall asleep so i stopped. But I can't continue like this. Nights are getting really bad again after a few decent (meaning 2-3 wake ups) nights. Last night I wouldn't have called her actually asleep until 11. We started at 7:15. My boobs hurt and by the end I was sobbing because I just couldn't latch her again but she couldn't settle without it. It doesn't help that DH has a cold and I don't want him to hold her right now. I just don't know what to do.

[rosetyler72]

Sept 13, 2016 10:38:41 GMT -5 sunshineshades said:

I've been reading up on the precious little sleep website and facebook group so I have a plan when I start.
She recommends starting with bedtime and for naps doing whatever to get them to sleep until night sleep is good. The #1 thing she says is they need to learn to fall asleep on their own. To nurse or bottle 20-30 minutes before they are to be asleep.
Also to gently night wean vs cio for motn feedings.

My plan is to ferberize for bed starting next week.

All of this!!^ Seriously, the PLS website is a GOLD MINE of sleep training tips, articles, and troubleshooting. It has saved me. Plus, the podcast is awesome too. C is a great sleeper I think mostly because of all her tips. 

[sunshineshades]

So we just finish night 4 of sleep training.
Starting at 6:20 - nurse, bath, pjs, book, song.
In bed 6:40 - cried less than a minute.
Up at
11:15 to nurse
3:45 to nurse
6:30 for day.

Previous was up every 2 hours. So we've cut 2-4 nursing sessions out.

I ignore all crying before 11 pm. Was none last night.

For naps I am still rocking and shushing etc etc to get to sleep. I'm trying to avoid nursing but will if I cannot get her down.

3 naps a day ranging from 45-90 minutes.

[katespade]

I consider myself lucky because 95% of the time, J is really, really good about putting herself to sleep. If her aquarium is on and she's in her crib with her wubby (what we call her pacifiers), she will be asleep within 5-10 minutes.

I'd love to night wean since she is still up anywhere from 1-4 times. I hesitate to try to drop feedings because she is still a tiny tot (I tried to weigh her the other day and she is a little over 14 pounds I think). She has her 6m pedi appointment on the 3rd so I'll probably ask him about it.

[xxkimmy8xx]

So, E STTN but I cannot get him down without rocking him fully asleep and then putting him down. He usually wakes up once when I put him in his crib and starts crying and I have to pick him up and start again. It usually takes about 20 mins and then he's out for 11 hours. I know he can get himself back to sleep bc he does it MOTN, but he just can't do it at the beginning of the night. Its hard b/c letting him cry aggravates his reflux and then we're up even longer... Any advice? Naps are getting harder and harder b/c he's not as tired and once his head hits the crib he's up and staring at me.

[sunshineshades]

Sept 20, 2016 9:08:11 GMT -5 xxkimmy8xx said:

So, E STTN but I cannot get him down without rocking him fully asleep and then putting him down. He usually wakes up once when I put him in his crib and starts crying and I have to pick him up and start again. It usually takes about 20 mins and then he's out for 11 hours. I know he can get himself back to sleep bc he does it MOTN, but he just can't do it at the beginning of the night. Its hard b/c letting him cry aggravates his reflux and then we're up even longer... Any advice? Naps are getting harder and harder b/c he's not as tired and once his head hits the crib he's up and staring at me.

Can you shush and bum pat in the crib? I've bum pat E. I do it quite hard sometimes so her whole body jiggles. She likes it.

[xxkimmy8xx]

Sept 20, 2016 9:10:19 GMT -5 sunshineshades said:

Sept 20, 2016 9:08:11 GMT -5 xxkimmy8xx said:

So, E STTN but I cannot get him down without rocking him fully asleep and then putting him down. He usually wakes up once when I put him in his crib and starts crying and I have to pick him up and start again. It usually takes about 20 mins and then he's out for 11 hours. I know he can get himself back to sleep bc he does it MOTN, but he just can't do it at the beginning of the night. Its hard b/c letting him cry aggravates his reflux and then we're up even longer... Any advice? Naps are getting harder and harder b/c he's not as tired and once his head hits the crib he's up and staring at me.

Can you shush and bum pat in the crib? I've bum pat E. I do it quite hard sometimes so her whole body jiggles. She likes it.

We've tried that but when he sees me and I don't pick him up he gets even more angry and starts freaking out.  CIO might be more effective if not for the darn reflux.  

[halfahippy]

We started sleep training for the second time last night. It wasn't horrible. 25 minutes (with checks) until she was asleep. Then an hour later she woke up, which is totally normal for her, and it took 12 minutes (with checks) for her to go back down.
Only up 3 times- 12:45, 2:45, 5:45. That is about half the amount of wake ups it has been recently! I nursed her each time after midnight, but I think we could easily drop the 2:45 one.
I'm taking advice from the precious little sleep site, thanks to recommendations form here, so we will start night weaning soon! Hopefully this continues to go well!

[xxkimmy8xx]

Sept 21, 2016 8:27:05 GMT -5 halfahippy said:

We started sleep training for the second time last night. It wasn't horrible. 25 minutes (with checks) until she was asleep. Then an hour later she woke up, which is totally normal for her, and it took 12 minutes (with checks) for her to go back down.
Only up 3 times- 12:45, 2:45, 5:45. That is about half the amount of wake ups it has been recently! I nursed her each time after midnight, but I think we could easily drop the 2:45 one.
I'm taking advice from the precious little sleep site, thanks to recommendations form here, so we will start night weaning soon! Hopefully this continues to go well!

Yayyyy!!!

[jewel441]

Doing a double feed has worked really well for bedtime she now rarely wakes up before 12, but then she is up every few hours after that most nights and I do think she would sleep longer if I got her to eat more, but I am trying to find the balance between getting her to eat more and waking her up too much...

[sunshineshades]

Sept 21, 2016 8:27:05 GMT -5 halfahippy said:

We started sleep training for the second time last night. It wasn't horrible. 25 minutes (with checks) until she was asleep. Then an hour later she woke up, which is totally normal for her, and it took 12 minutes (with checks) for her to go back down.
Only up 3 times- 12:45, 2:45, 5:45. That is about half the amount of wake ups it has been recently! I nursed her each time after midnight, but I think we could easily drop the 2:45 one.
I'm taking advice from the precious little sleep site, thanks to recommendations form here, so we will start night weaning soon! Hopefully this continues to go well!

z


Awesome! She might drop one on her own still soon. We've had 3 nights of just 2 wake ups now instead of 100000 lol (5 nights of training). She is getting up a little earlier in the day now (30-60 minutes) but I figure that makes sense since she's getting so much more sleep. Hopefully soon she'll go back to her regular wake up for me.

[SheilaTheTank]

I've been avoiding the sleep threads because I'm not sure if we need to sleep train. Maybe someone can enlighten me. Here's what our sleep is like

nurse and rock to drowsy/sleep. Max 5-10 minutes. She rarely falls asleep in my arms but will give me cues that she is done and wants to go in the crib. If I put her down and she rolls to her side I know that we're good and leave.

Wake up around 1x before we go to bed because her binky fell out. Put binky back in and instantly asleep again

wake up 1-2x MOTN. We usually try to put her binky back in and if she wakes up again within the hour it's because she's hungry.

If she's hungry I feed her and she goes right to sleep. Max 10 minutes.

Does sleep training mean that I ignore if she is hungry? I'm hesitant to do this because of the weight issues we have had.

[SheilaTheTank]

^^^ Please don't take that as a bragplaint. I'm serious, in that I have no idea if we should sleep train or not.

[peachesncream]

SheilaTheTank I am of the opinion that sleep training is a sanity saver. If you are content with your current situation I see no reason to sleep train. It is definitely not a necessity at all!

[Missy0483]

SheilaTheTank I would not feel the need to sleep train in your situation. It sounds pretty "normal" to me. She'll be able to find and put in her pacifier by herself soon and you'll mostly be good to go (except when she's hungry). I remember at one point having 6 pacifiers in DD's crib when she was a baby. She'd find one when needed and back to sleep. Ahhhh those were the days. I wish Brady took a pacifier.

[sunshineshades]

Sept 21, 2016 9:39:59 GMT -5 peachesncream said:

SheilaTheTank I am of the opinion that sleep training is a sanity saver. If you are content with your current situation I see no reason to sleep train. It is definitely not a necessity at all!

+1 I only started sleep training because I was crying almost daily, was mad at everyone and was starting to be afraid I could accidentally hurt E at night because I was so tired and frustrated.
She's also 95th for weight so we have no issues there.
Sleep training is definitely not something you have to do if you're content with what's going on.

[SheilaTheTank]

Sweet. Because I'm completely not ready. I'll be here to offer support and tits.

[Missy0483]

I don't want to sleep train. But I also don't want to be tired all the time. I'm starting to dread our evenings now because I don't know what I'm in for later.

[peachesncream]

We are having a really bad week. We had to transition out of the sleep suit and PNP bassinet at the same time and it is about as disastrous as one might expect. Up every hour. DH can't function on little sleep and the last couple nights he's been an emotionally abusive asshole in the middle of the night (but then he doesn't remember doing it the next morning) so I guess I am on my own for a bit. DD is not very good at self-soothing right now either so we are trying a sort of hybrid CIO for now but I am not confident it will work.

tl;dr: send coffee and wine.

[Missy0483]

Sept 21, 2016 10:17:54 GMT -5 peachesncream said:

We are having a really bad week. We had to transition out of the sleep suit and PNP bassinet at the same time and it is about as disastrous as one might expect. Up every hour. DH can't function on little sleep and the last couple nights he's been an emotionally abusive asshole in the middle of the night (but then he doesn't remember doing it the next morning) so I guess I am on my own for a bit. DD is not very good at self-soothing right now either so we are trying a sort of hybrid CIO for now but I am not confident it will work.

tl;dr: send coffee and wine.

DH is the same, minus the abusive part. He sucks at soothing babies. I don't even bother asking for help anymore because I get so irritated. He works 10 hour days (50 hours a week) and gets up at 5am and works a physical job, he's a welder, so I'm not going to risk him getting hurt due to lack of sleep. I guess I'll continue suffering on my own!

[cinnamonsmiles]

SheilaTheTank I would kill for your schedule. Lol. 1-2 wakeups I can manage. But no, and I've heard it's common for babies to wake up at least once a night until they are a year old.

[Missy0483]

Sept 21, 2016 10:49:44 GMT -5 cinnamonsmiles said:

SheilaTheTank I would kill for your schedule. Lol. 1-2 wakeups I can manage. But no, and I've heard it's common for babies to wake up at least once a night until they are a year old.

+1 on wanting that schedule. Yes please, sign me up!!!