Hi. I'm sick and miserable. Decided to come say hello!
Hello! I feel like I'm dying over here. I'm wheezing with the occasional deep breath and I feel like I'm coughing up my lungs. So I'm conmisserating with you!
Married DH 09/21/13 BCP 08/08-02/12, 01/13-08/14 Paragard 02/16-? TTC#1 August '14 1st BFP 3/9/15! EDD: 11/17/15 Emma Rose born 11/26/15 (Thanksgiving!)
I love it too! I'm protecting it with all that I can. I'm just terrified that taking them away will be a spiral. She can sleep without the food association. On lots of wake up nights, we cuddle back to sleep sometimes. She wants mama at night so even if we didn't nurse, MH is not an acceptable substitute if she knows I'm home.
Married DH 09/21/13 BCP 08/08-02/12, 01/13-08/14 Paragard 02/16-? TTC#1 August '14 1st BFP 3/9/15! EDD: 11/17/15 Emma Rose born 11/26/15 (Thanksgiving!)
Post by melimo1315 on Sept 16, 2016 15:13:55 GMT -5
sunfrogger88 so sorry about your dealings with your mom. That sucks. I don't get why moms think they can get away with that.
I don't like to spend time with my mom for a million reasons including past issues with abuse, manipulation and guilt. I was feeling positive about life today and invited her to the zoo with the boys and I.
I learned these important things today: "I'm fat again and that's a shame (I lose weight like crazy when pregnant like 35lbs down from PP weight at my 6 wk check up). I was looking really nice" (I've done some really unhealthy things in HS and college to lose weight so I'm pretty sensitive about my body image)
"Since I don't want to spend my bday with them this weekend, I shouldn't expect a gift because my aunt will probably send a card"
"I need to get over the fact that my dad told me he was happier before I was born and that he should just kill himself and be happy again"
All in all not a successful day but it's Friday and a beautiful fall weekend is in store. So f that bitch.
FFFC: BF means so much to me I will not consider night weaning until the New Year so I can make it to my goal of 12mo.
We are only waking 2x a night most nights and I seem to have learned to cope with the interrupted sleep.
Eta: not that night weaning = full weaning. I am keeping up with her right now and I am scared cutting more feedings will tank my supply. My first pp period made it harder as it is. It's rebounded thankfully but....
I don't plan to fully wean until she is ready, or top teeth really change my opinion! Lol But I don't think her night feeding is really for nourishment in our case, and it's hindering the development of healthy sleep patterns, IMO. I love BFing, & have a love/hate relationship with pumping.
I feel the same way about all of that. I just can't imagine not BFing but I'm super excited about not having to pump. It was tough when the top teeth came in but after a week or so he stopped clamping down (I swear he thought it was hilarious because he would be smiling while I screamed in pain).
Post by littleredfish on Sept 16, 2016 16:38:10 GMT -5
Quick question; DD2 loves her fingers for self soothing. I'm not sure if she just sucked a raw spot, or it looks like she maybe scraped her tooth there. Anyway it's kind of healed over but it's also pretty red and swollen. If it was my finger I would keep it dry at minimum which is not possible for her, or put polysporin on it, but she'll eat it. Should I put some on, bandage and tape her fingers so she can't suck and risk pissing her off, or should I leave it alone and it will be fine?
Ugh I'm sorry that your positive day got turned on its head. So many things wrong with what was said to you. I'm so sorry
Thanks so much! I know better than to spend longer than 10 minutes with her but I wanted to give it a try.
I'm glad it's over and I'm learning not to dwell on things my parents say. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt or isn't shitty but I have my boys I need to focus on 😊
Quick question; DD2 loves her fingers for self soothing. I'm not sure if she just sucked a raw spot, or it looks like she maybe scraped her tooth there. Anyway it's kind of healed over but it's also pretty red and swollen. If it was my finger I would keep it dry at minimum which is not possible for her, or put polysporin on it, but she'll eat it. Should I put some on, bandage and tape her fingers so she can't suck and risk pissing her off, or should I leave it alone and it will be fine?
Does she self soothe at night? If not, can you put hydrocortisone on once she's asleep?
Married DH 09/21/13 BCP 08/08-02/12, 01/13-08/14 Paragard 02/16-? TTC#1 August '14 1st BFP 3/9/15! EDD: 11/17/15 Emma Rose born 11/26/15 (Thanksgiving!)
Post by fuzzylogic on Sept 16, 2016 20:35:58 GMT -5
Okay, so it's fairly simple: Where we had six weeks guaranteed paid leave for maternity, now there is nothing. No policy. Another teacher was told that they would deal with it on a case-by-case basis.
Seems legit.
So, basically, if they have a year where they feel like they can't afford maternity subs, we just take unpaid leave for however long we can afford it. So that's cool.
They have made it a totally hostile place when it comes to the women of child-bearing age that work there. H told me to update my resume and start putting out feelers. The thought of leaving makes me so sad...it's basically the only career I've had, I only taught in one other school for one year, and I have formed very close relationships with many who work there. I don't make friends easily. I built those programs from nothing. But I don't feel like my ability to have a family and do my job is no longer supported there.
Not to mention that our administration is so self-congratulatory and bro-ish and most of the faculty HATES IT.
Post by littleredfish on Sept 16, 2016 22:03:11 GMT -5
I'm not 100% sunfrogger88, I would assume yes like if she stirrs or wakes up lightly and puts herself back to sleep. I'm worried to try if she does. I might try bandaging and taping during the day and then remove and be left with no plan if she gets really mad...hmmm
Post by littleredfish on Sept 16, 2016 22:07:39 GMT -5
melimo1315 your mom is such a peach. I think every time you share about the things she says I am increasingly shocked at how you ever spend time with this person.
fuzzylogic, I literally just read your whole post with serious raised eyebrow. Can they even have "no" policy on something like maternity leave? Is that legal? Dealing on a case by case just sounds like a law suit for discrimination waiting to happen. What a cluster fuck.
melimo1315 your mom is such a peach. I think every time you share about the things she says I am increasingly shocked at how you ever spend time with this person.
fuzzylogic, I literally just read your whole post with serious raised eyebrow. Can they even have "no" policy on something like maternity leave? Is that legal? Dealing on a case by case just sounds like a law suit for discrimination waiting to happen. What a cluster fuck.
They don't seem to care. All they understand are dollar signs. They do have a lawyer on the board who approved this non-policy. But my lawyer husband is totally wtf. We aren't Union since we are a charter, either, so we don't have that to fight for us.
I'm so, so sorry. I think your husband is right to put out feelers. I can't believe in this day and age, that this can be legal. To me that's sexism and I'm not sure how they even found a lawyer to back them.
Married DH 09/21/13 BCP 08/08-02/12, 01/13-08/14 Paragard 02/16-? TTC#1 August '14 1st BFP 3/9/15! EDD: 11/17/15 Emma Rose born 11/26/15 (Thanksgiving!)
Business Provisions Exempts companies with fewer than fifty workers. Lets companies deny the benefit to salaried employees within the highest-paid 10 percent of their workforce, if letting the workers take the leave would create substantial and grievous injury to the business operations. Permits employers to obtain up to three medical opinions and certifications on the need for the leave. If workers do not come back, employers can recapture the healthcare premiums they paid during the leave.
I don't quite understand all of that, tbh. Also, H thinks part of it is because we're a charter school and legal stuff works a little differently. A larger district would absolutely have to have something in place. And I don't think until last year, when we did have a blanket 6-week paid leave policy, there was a policy in place because it happened so rarely. The staff was mostly older back then. Now it's A LOT of women, and men, of child-bearing age and they're having to deal with that and they have no idea what to do. I get that budget cuts have run deep but damn, we're teachers, not billionaires, but we also shouldn't be made destitute because we decide to have a family. They shouldn't be mutually exclusive.
Okay, so it's fairly simple: Where we had six weeks guaranteed paid leave for maternity, now there is nothing. No policy. Another teacher was told that they would deal with it on a case-by-case basis.
Seems legit.
So, basically, if they have a year where they feel like they can't afford maternity subs, we just take unpaid leave for however long we can afford it. So that's cool.
They have made it a totally hostile place when it comes to the women of child-bearing age that work there. H told me to update my resume and start putting out feelers. The thought of leaving makes me so sad...it's basically the only career I've had, I only taught in one other school for one year, and I have formed very close relationships with many who work there. I don't make friends easily. I built those programs from nothing. But I don't feel like my ability to have a family and do my job is no longer supported there.
Not to mention that our administration is so self-congratulatory and bro-ish and most of the faculty HATES IT.
So that's what's going on with me.
Oh my gosh. I just can't even. So many hugs to anyone on your faculty that wants a family.
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