Post by hannahbear on Sept 19, 2016 14:29:18 GMT -5
So I freaked out this morning about not having childcare figured out. But I figured it out, crazy fast! We went to Shabbat services on Friday night and I nursed the baby in what turns out to be the synagogue infant day care room. It was so cute and clean, and our friends send their baby there. So I called today, and they just happen to have a spot that just opened up! Crisis averted! It will be for 2 days a week, and then I can squeeze in a few more hours during nap time over the other days.
So I freaked out this morning about not having childcare figured out. But I figured it out, crazy fast! We went to Shabbat services on Friday night and I nursed the baby in what turns out to be the synagogue infant day care room. It was so cute and clean, and our friends send their baby there. So I called today, and they just happen to have a spot that just opened up! Crisis averted! It will be for 2 days a week, and then I can squeeze in a few more hours during nap time over the other days.
Post by bocaburger on Sept 19, 2016 16:18:00 GMT -5
Crappy afternoon here.
First of all, I was supposed to have my 6 week postpartum visit. I screwed up and forgot that she is in a different office on the opposite side of the city on Mondays. So I went all the way there just to turn around and come home. And now I can't figure out when to reschedule it for, since H needs to be available to watch the kids when I go.
Second... when we did the newborn screen in the hospital, I agreed to add a panel of experimental tests. G had an abnormal result for one of them. Our pediatrician said there are a lot of false positives and resent a blood sample to repeat the test. We decided, on our pediatrician's recommendation, not to find out what she tested positive for so I wouldn't drive myself crazy googling before we knew the results.
Fast forward 3 weeks... my pediatrician finally called them to find out why it was taking so long to get results, and it turns out they never got the sample (or did and misplaced it). So H had to bring G back in for another sample and we have to wait even more time for them to rerun the test. We also found out that the abnormal result was for spinal muscular atrophy, which is a pretty serious and incurable neurodegenerative disease. So of course I will be freaking out until those results come back.
Also I think it was gratefulgirl who recommended the Kick n Play piano gym. Thanks, girl, this thing is adorable!
We just got back from Buy Buy Baby to get this on the recommendation from here. I *almost* want to wake her up to try it. (Bonus: she will finish a long nap in her car seat.)
Post by dc2london on Sept 19, 2016 17:30:01 GMT -5
Well DD just choked and struggled to catch her breath while spitting up. So, I'm never sleeping again. ETA she is totally fine, but it scared us both pretty badly.
Well DD just choked and struggled to catch her breath while spitting up. So, I'm never sleeping again. ETA she is totally fine, but it scared us both pretty badly.
First of all, I was supposed to have my 6 week postpartum visit. I screwed up and forgot that she is in a different office on the opposite side of the city on Mondays. So I went all the way there just to turn around and come home. And now I can't figure out when to reschedule it for, since H needs to be available to watch the kids when I go.
Second... when we did the newborn screen in the hospital, I agreed to add a panel of experimental tests. G had an abnormal result for one of them. Our pediatrician said there are a lot of false positives and resent a blood sample to repeat the test. We decided, on our pediatrician's recommendation, not to find out what she tested positive for so I wouldn't drive myself crazy googling before we knew the results.
Fast forward 3 weeks... my pediatrician finally called them to find out why it was taking so long to get results, and it turns out they never got the sample (or did and misplaced it). So H had to bring G back in for another sample and we have to wait even more time for them to rerun the test. We also found out that the abnormal result was for spinal muscular atrophy, which is a pretty serious and incurable neurodegenerative disease. So of course I will be freaking out until those results come back.
My pappaw has that, sending thoughts and prayers for a negative result.
Omg everyone with the stories today... it really was a monday, huh? Hugs all around.
My sister leaves tomorrow and I swear I am going to cry way harder than my kids ever do. Having another proactive kid-watching adult around strictly to keep kids in line and cook some meals has been amazing, even though she hasn't been sleeping well, either. I feel like I missed out by not having a huge circle of girlfriends and female relatives nearby to swap babycare and nights over at each others houses etc. with. Like... this tiny village ran so much easier with her here.
I feel like I am gonna fail "on my own"... technically I am not, but SO has so much on his plate and the new baby just seems to stress him out, where DD1 was easy for him to handle. I don't really get it because DD2 is way easier than DD1 was. But 99.9% of everything kid related falls to me. I do all overnight stuff because I ebf. I get up with, change, and feed both girls in the morning. I juggle them at lunchtime and dinner time. Then, I have to figure out how to coordinate bedtime so overcurious and nosy and pokey DD1 leaves DD2 alone and goes to sleep.
And somehow I have to find time to finish homework and cook real meals and clean the apartment. Like, how do people do this? I am starting to understand how going to work can be considered a break from your "real life" with kids. Not that I want to go to work away from mine. I just... haven't got it figured out with 2 yet.
I'm sorry venyia. It sounds to me like your SO needs to step up and help, at least with the house and with DD1. I know you didn't ask for advice but I worry, if you don't have a talk with him, you will begin to harbor resentment. It's not fair to you at all, and resentment can really hurt an otherwise healthy relationship. I am sending you hugs.
Post by gratefulgirl on Sept 20, 2016 7:27:13 GMT -5
venyia - the first few months finding your groove for wake-up, meals, and bed is rough! We often had floor "picnics" at breakfast and lunch so I could've by DS2 while she was on a mat with toys and still eat. I too ended up doing most of the kid care at 2 kids. It was much more percentage-wise than at 1 or 3. It got incrementally better until they were both on 1 nap and then it got flat out easy.
I'm sorry venyia . It sounds to me like your SO needs to step up and help, at least with the house and with DD1. I know you didn't ask for advice but I worry, if you don't have a talk with him, you will begin to harbor resentment. It's not fair to you at all, and resentment can really hurt an otherwise healthy relationship. I am sending you hugs.
It sounds like he is doing only very little, but the reality is a little different. He is struggling to keep our cash flow going, including jumping through all the ridiculous hoops for the tiny little bit of state assistance we qualify for. Because of baby girl, I have an exemption from it all but he doesn't. So 30+ hours a week for that, plus trying to right the floundering business because, well, its failing. For us, the financials are his wheelhouse and thats where all his stress and brainpower goes right now. If I ask specifically and in the moment, he helps me, but I feel guilty doing that and taking him away from what he does to keep our roof over our heads. It is incredibly rough right now, and if I had the means for a better than minimum wage job, I would figure out a way to make it work, 3 week old baby or not. Until I get my degree, I just don't have the earning potential to make it worth leaving my kids with someone else.
I get resentful once in a while, but it is usually over uninterrupted sleep. Which he gets only a little more than me these days anyway. Haha
Thank you, to you and everyone, for being concerned. Heck, I am concerned! It is not sustainable long term. But then, babies don't stay the same long term, anyway, right?
Post by bocaburger on Sept 20, 2016 13:47:55 GMT -5
venyia it is so hard. H is in a similar position. He is a full-time student and has multiple part-time jobs. I don't work right now, and for various reasons won't be able to work more than part time until at least this summer, so we decided I would be a SAHM for the first year. It is so hard because I'm with the babies all day every day, and it's exhausting, and when H comes home I want him to step up and take over childcare so I can get a break. But when he gets home he is exhausted from a long hard day of school and work, and still has homework and other responsibilities. He does help a lot at night, because I really struggle with sleep deprivation, but of course that leaves him even more exhausted during the day. He feels constantly guilty for not being with the babies more, and I get frustrated about being the default parent. But he is honestly doing his best and just has so much on his plate.
bocaburger , I just can't even fathom how much harder it must be with twins. At least my 2 year old can understand "you need to wait a minute, and then xyz will happen." Two babies who can't understand that they have to wait because mommy's arms are full... god, my baby reached a screaming fever pitch for a minute or two this evening when I put her down asleep but not deeply, so I could make a quick snack for toddler since dinner sorta didn't happen. I almost lost my mind because I felt so guilty because all she knew was "mommy, you lost me, come find me nowwwwwww!" And she was communicating that as hard as she could. And all I was trying to do was slap some freakin peanut butter on toast for big kid.
SO has changed his hours to "call me 24/7 and I will open, otherwise I am upstairs with my family and/or asleep" so he might actually be able to help me balance for awhile til I can find my stride and not go crazy. We are both tired, both stressed out, but we definitely need each other to get through it all.
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