Post by gratefulgirl on Sept 20, 2016 13:11:13 GMT -5
katelm, hummingbird125 - I have so been there with the baby who couldn't/wouldn't sleep reading about average or amazing sleepers and getting depressed. I have even unfollowed FB friends who bragged too much on baby sleep when I was up 12x the night before . Both those demoralizing kids STTN more often than not and get an age appropriate amount of sleep now and I am still alive. ((Hugs)). It's harder to parent the alert ones in many ways.
Moms with older kids- how do you get your baby to sleep? I feel like I don't have time to devote to putting her to sleep every couple hours. Plus, kids are loud.
DD1 was the most awesome independent player, so I had some things for her to do and she did them without getting into trouble. Yes, she was a unicorn 2 yo. DD2 was so tough to sleep I needed it.
Another friend used episodes of TV 2x a day (for other naps big sibling was sleeping or she had help) to buy time.
Now I put DD3 down, run to do what the big ones need, run back when DD3 cries and soothe her, and repeat a few times. On days when I can I work on practicing her settling on her own because #thirdchild.
If she really won't settle she gets a "junk sleep" (thanks Marc Weissbluth) nap in the carrier, car seat, or stroller while I do life.
katelm , hummingbird125 - I have so been there with the baby who couldn't/wouldn't sleep reading about average or amazing sleepers and getting depressed. I have even unfollowed FB friends who bragged too much on baby sleep when I was up 12x the night before . Both those demoralizing kids STTN more often than not and get an age appropriate amount of sleep now and I am still alive. ((Hugs)). It's harder to parent the alert ones in many ways.
Thanks
Most of the time I actually think DS sleeps okay, but when I read about other babies already regularly sleeping 4, 5, or 6 hours stretches, or only waking up once during the night, it upsets me. In general, I think we've been doing well. Last night was the first really rough night we've had in a while. FX all of our babies start sleeping longer stretches SOON.
Post by spicysalmonroll on Sept 20, 2016 16:19:35 GMT -5
katelm I also have to hold him upright from reflux so when I get up at nights, I don't go back down for 45 minutes. Mine does the insane grunting too and honestly this is why I switched from bassinet to crib. I sleep much better without the grunting in the same room even though I can hear it on the monitor. Once I'm done the 3am feeding, I even turn the volume down a little because I know he's gunna do it til 6am.
And don't feel depressed if yours isn't sleeping long stretches yet. Remember some us had ours in mid July so they are quit a bit older. I was on my last straw with getting up every two hours. Until he hit 7 weeks, that's when he started going 3-4 hours and now at 9 weeks he does 5-6 hours. Trust me, it didn't happen sooner than that so I know how you feel! Hang in there!
Moms with older kids- how do you get your baby to sleep? I feel like I don't have time to devote to putting her to sleep every couple hours. Plus, kids are loud.
I probably resort to the mamaroo more than I should. We do daytime naps there because the white noise it provides drowns out the toddler. It's still difficult. DS does annoying things like stealing her blanket or trying to pile toys on top of her. Work in progress in our home for sure.
gratefulgirl I like the image of you running back and forth between older kids and the baby because that's how I feel pretty much all day!
penny2103 I wish my baby liked the swing or... basically to be put down anywhere! My toddler has this (cute but) annoying habit of wanting to kiss the baby as soon as she's mostly asleep. Stay away kid!
I tried to really focus on getting her to sleep today after appropriate awake times. The whole day worked out better. Except, you know, we didn't leave the house...
spicysalmonroll thanks I was one of the ones that had my baby mid July so my LO is 9 weeks too. We set up the video monitor in the nursery yesterday, I may attempt crib sleeping for the second half of the night soon. I feel like I'm neglecting her by putting her in her own room
spicysalmonroll thanks I was one of the ones that had my baby mid July so my LO is 9 weeks too. We set up the video monitor in the nursery yesterday, I may attempt crib sleeping for the second half of the night soon. I feel like I'm neglecting her by putting her in her own room
Mommy sleeping better = Mommy being more there for baby during the day. She'll let you know when she needs you, otherwise you are meeting her need by giving her and you sleep. When I was a new mom I thought my baby needed my physical presence 24/7. As she grew I learned that meeting her needs sometimes means stepping back.
spicysalmonroll thanks I was one of the ones that had my baby mid July so my LO is 9 weeks too. We set up the video monitor in the nursery yesterday, I may attempt crib sleeping for the second half of the night soon. I feel like I'm neglecting her by putting her in her own room
You may find she'll sleep better in her crib. When DD was 5 weeks I moved her to her crib..after many rough nights..she ended up going longer stretches. Who knows if it was the crib or not but it worked. It's worth a try..
spicysalmonroll thanks I was one of the ones that had my baby mid July so my LO is 9 weeks too. We set up the video monitor in the nursery yesterday, I may attempt crib sleeping for the second half of the night soon. I feel like I'm neglecting her by putting her in her own room
aw don't feel like that at all! First night I put him there at 5 weeks I also felt like I was "abandoning" him in there. But we both slept great and by night two I was over it! You'll still provide everything she needs. Last night for example an hour after he went to sleep he started screaming. Unlike him. So I immediately picked him up, upon being upright he let out a huge burp, and then passed back out. Nothing would have been different if he were in my room.
We usually do 9:30/10pm but she's been sleeping on and off since 8:30pm.
I'm scared to move it up and she be awake for the day at 3am. With 9:30/10pm, she's up around 5am but I can usually get her back to sleep around 6/6:30am for a bit.
We usually do 9:30/10pm but she's been sleeping on and off since 8:30pm.
I'm scared to move it up and she be awake for the day at 3am. With 9:30/10pm, she's up around 5am but I can usually get her back to sleep around 6/6:30am for a bit.
I have had one baby who was spot on with Marc Weissbluth's book and moved bedtime earlier at 8 weeks. 7-8 weeks is pretty common for moving bed to between 6-8 p.m.
I declare bedtime as between the earliest my kid will do her long stretch and the latest she can push it beforenight sleep gets bad.
We usually do 9:30/10pm but she's been sleeping on and off since 8:30pm.
I'm scared to move it up and she be awake for the day at 3am. With 9:30/10pm, she's up around 5am but I can usually get her back to sleep around 6/6:30am for a bit.
I have had one baby who was spot on with Marc Weissbluth's book and moved bedtime earlier at 8 weeks. 7-8 weeks is pretty common for moving bed to between 6-8 p.m.
I declare bedtime as between the earliest my kid will do her long stretch and the latest she can push it beforenight sleep gets bad.
What is this book?
And she'll do a good stretch from 10pm to 2am, but we found that accidentally. I guess I should move it and see?
She's only four weeks so I'm making everything up.
I have had one baby who was spot on with Marc Weissbluth's book and moved bedtime earlier at 8 weeks. 7-8 weeks is pretty common for moving bed to between 6-8 p.m.
I declare bedtime as between the earliest my kid will do her long stretch and the latest she can push it beforenight sleep gets bad.
What is this book?
And she'll do a good stretch from 10pm to 2am, but we found that accidentally. I guess I should move it and see?
She's only four weeks so I'm making everything up.
Healthy Sleep Hanits, Happy Child. It's got a lot of good stuff, though some I personally ignore.
I have had one baby who was spot on with Marc Weissbluth's book and moved bedtime earlier at 8 weeks. 7-8 weeks is pretty common for moving bed to between 6-8 p.m.
I declare bedtime as between the earliest my kid will do her long stretch and the latest she can push it beforenight sleep gets bad.
What is this book?
And she'll do a good stretch from 10pm to 2am, but we found that accidentally. I guess I should move it and see?
She's only four weeks so I'm making everything up.
With my first I remember my SIL saying "she'll slowly start to move her bedtime earlier." I didn't believe her but sure enough by 8 weeks my DD set her bedtime. Right now DS is 5 weeks and I have no set bedtime. He goes "to bed" when I'm ready. He stopped giving me 4-5 stretches this week, but I'm hoping that changes soon. Parenting is all making it up as you go along. Haha. Even with my second I'm constantly changing my theories or plan.
And she'll do a good stretch from 10pm to 2am, but we found that accidentally. I guess I should move it and see?
She's only four weeks so I'm making everything up.
With my first I remember my SIL saying "she'll slowly start to move her bedtime earlier." I didn't believe her but sure enough by 8 weeks my DD set her bedtime. Right now DS is 5 weeks and I have no set bedtime. He goes "to bed" when I'm ready. He stopped giving me 4-5 stretches this week, but I'm hoping that changes soon. Parenting is all making it up as you go along. Haha. Even with my second I'm constantly changing my theories or plan.
How did you know she was changing her bedtime? What were her cues?
I understand so much with my kid, but bedtime is mysterious because I neeeeed it to work. Naps, eating, etc. all have margins of error. Bedtime feels sacred and I'm scared to eff it up.
With my first I remember my SIL saying "she'll slowly start to move her bedtime earlier." I didn't believe her but sure enough by 8 weeks my DD set her bedtime. Right now DS is 5 weeks and I have no set bedtime. He goes "to bed" when I'm ready. He stopped giving me 4-5 stretches this week, but I'm hoping that changes soon. Parenting is all making it up as you go along. Haha. Even with my second I'm constantly changing my theories or plan.
How did you know she was changing her bedtime? What were her cues?
I understand so much with my kid, but bedtime is mysterious because I neeeeed it to work. Naps, eating, etc. all have margins of error. Bedtime feels sacred and I'm scared to eff it up.
Honestly by that point there started to be a better pattern if things (ie eating at set times 9, 12, 3, etc). So it naturally set itself up to a set bedtime. Plus she had started to have longer nighttime stretches and less random day time sleeping. I will say my first was a unicorn nighttime sleeper and basically started to put herself to bed at a young age. Basically it's hard to see how that'll happen at this young age but it does just happen (I keep reminding myself this nightly when there is no rhyme or reason to anything he does).
Oh my number one bedtime advice is having a routine (it can change over time, but still establish one). I have a loose routine, but in the next couple of weeks will start a formal one.
I agree that bedtime moved earlier and earlier as we got past the first weeks. We are settled at about 8:30 for now, but eventually we'll get closer to 6:30/7:00.
But joy, please don't feel like you need to get it "right" and there's only one way. I spent a lot of the first year of DD1's life reading sleep stuff, and every author makes it sound like if you're off on bedtime or naps you're ruining your child's sleep. I wasted a lot of time searching for the magical, elusive, perfect schedule that would cure her sleep. But at 18 months she STTN when she was ready, and we all made it through. Now I think you can learn from the experts but adapt what will work for you and your family.
Post by spicysalmonroll on Oct 4, 2016 8:28:48 GMT -5
joy for over a month we did 8pm bedtime. Every night he would have witching hour from 7-8 and cry and we'd basically push off his nursing right til 8. Finally last week, we said wait- why are we doing this? 7:30 to 8 is just us walking around with him trying to calm him down til 8 but why? Why did we set this arbitrary time of 8 that he has to "make it til"? So we started giving in at 7:30 and it's working fine lol
joy for over a month we did 8pm bedtime. Every night he would have witching hour from 7-8 and cry and we'd basically push off his nursing right til 8. Finally last week, we said wait- why are we doing this? 7:30 to 8 is just us walking around with him trying to calm him down til 8 but why? Why did we set this arbitrary time of 8 that he has to "make it til"? So we started giving in at 7:30 and it's working fine lol
This is how I feel! The last hour or so before "bedtime" she alternates between flaling and sleeping. She wants to sleep. I feel like I should just try 8:30 for a bedtime.
I keep getting nervous in pulling the trigger. Maybe we'll try tonight.
Post by hummingbird125 on Oct 4, 2016 9:36:27 GMT -5
We finally made some progress when it comes to naps! Maybe everyone knows this already, but I figured I'd share anyway in case it could help someone...
I read somewhere (maybe preciouslittlesleep.com ?) that you'll know if you've figured out your baby's "wake time" if you try to put them down for a nap and they fall asleep quickly and easily. Through some trial and error, DH and I quickly determined that DS was ready for a nap after being awake for about 1.5 hours. Now we're actually able to follow "EASY", so DS will eat, play for a bit, and once he starts showing the first signs of getting fussy we will get him ready for a nap. For us, that means swaddling with a A+A blanket (we usually reserve the miracle blanket for nighttime), and then the 5 S's of Happiest Baby on the Block. When DS is ready for a nap, it only takes 5-10 min of rocking him, swaddled with a pacifier, before I can plop him into the crib or RnP. He'll then sleep for 1-2.5 hours.
Last night we put him down for what we thought was a nap at 8:45pm, but he slept for 4 hours. Usually his longest sleep stretch starts around 10:30-11, so I'm hoping that he's starting to move his own bedtime earlier as some PP mentioned.
annbuhdan I also drove myself crazy on reading about bedtimes/regression and fearing I was messing up. However once 18 month hit DD rarely wakes up, puts herself to sleep, even started napping better. And she was the worse napper (20 minutes max until 18 months). I'm trying to remember that this time around on the rough nights..that nothing I do or don't do will impact him in a year or so.
annbuhdan I also drove myself crazy on reading about bedtimes/regression and fearing I was messing up. However once 18 month hit DD rarely wakes up, puts herself to sleep, even started napping better. And she was the worse napper (20 minutes max until 18 months). I'm trying to remember that this time around on the rough nights..that nothing I do or don't do will impact him in a year or so.
I completely agree! It's nice to take the stress off myself. We tried CIO so many times. Every resource says it will get better within a week, but night after night of CIO we saw no progress with her. Then one Sunday night around 18 months we tried letting her cry out of desperation. She slept through the night that night and every one after. I take absolutely zero credit for it, she was just finally ready I guess.
We usually do 9:30/10pm but she's been sleeping on and off since 8:30pm.
I'm scared to move it up and she be awake for the day at 3am. With 9:30/10pm, she's up around 5am but I can usually get her back to sleep around 6/6:30am for a bit.
I have had one baby who was spot on with Marc Weissbluth's book and moved bedtime earlier at 8 weeks. 7-8 weeks is pretty common for moving bed to between 6-8 p.m.
I declare bedtime as between the earliest my kid will do her long stretch and the latest she can push it beforenight sleep gets bad.
DD made it pretty well known that she liked to be in bed at 8 around 5 weeks old. During week 8 she started to prefer to be in bed by 7:30. So now she is a 7:30 bedtime girl. She usually wakes around 7 to eat and cuddle a little, then sleeps again before really getting up for the day around 8:30.
My boys didn't make it as obvious (or I didn't pick up the cues as easily) but by the time they were 3 months old they both CLEARLY needed to be in bed at 7.
annbuhdan I also drove myself crazy on reading about bedtimes/regression and fearing I was messing up. However once 18 month hit DD rarely wakes up, puts herself to sleep, even started napping better. And she was the worse napper (20 minutes max until 18 months). I'm trying to remember that this time around on the rough nights..that nothing I do or don't do will impact him in a year or so.
I did everything wrong with DS1. I let him sleep with me holding him, let the breast become a sleep crutch, bedshared for a year, etc. I read the books, but PPA just made CIO toooooo hard for me. Then, at 1 year, we decided to move him to his crib. It was time. It took a few really rough evenings of CIO at bedtime but he never looked back. Once he learned that he could sleep on his own, in his bed, there were never ANY bedtime or nighttime shenanigans. No night waking, stalling, etc. So....you can't break their sleep forever. I promise.
Forget the schedule - during the day I CANNOT get this guy to nap anywhere but on me (in the Boba). I rock him, I bounce him, I turn the lights low, put on the sound machine - nothing. He dozes after BFing, but if I move at all he is up again. WHY. I'm not sure what to do. (getting him to sleep at night is also really difficult).
He will sleep in the car or in the stroller.
This is new lately - he used to sleep all the time. But now that he's more alert, I can't figure it out
Forget the schedule - during the day I CANNOT get this guy to nap anywhere but on me (in the Boba). I rock him, I bounce him, I turn the lights low, put on the sound machine - nothing. He dozes after BFing, but if I move at all he is up again. WHY. I'm not sure what to do. (getting him to sleep at night is also really difficult).
He will sleep in the car or in the stroller.
This is new lately - he used to sleep all the time. But now that he's more alert, I can't figure it out
No advice just commiseration. DD doesn't believe in naps. Every so often she'll have a sleepy day and I think I have naps figured out and then she'll go back to being awake all the time.
Forget the schedule - during the day I CANNOT get this guy to nap anywhere but on me (in the Boba). I rock him, I bounce him, I turn the lights low, put on the sound machine - nothing. He dozes after BFing, but if I move at all he is up again. WHY. I'm not sure what to do. (getting him to sleep at night is also really difficult).
He will sleep in the car or in the stroller.
This is new lately - he used to sleep all the time. But now that he's more alert, I can't figure it out
I've found that DD has moved into the schedule of eat, play/activity, sleep during the day. After I nurse she's initally groggy but wakes when burped and we entertain her. Once she starts to get fussy then we swaddle, rock, and lay her down. She also has a hard time sleeping in her bed for naps so those are in the boppy next to me on the couch. So maybe that's more his schedule now? At night she'll nurse to sleep.
Me (30) MH (32) Dx: MFI (low all the things) M. 10/11. TTC Since 01/14 IUI#1-3(Letrozole + Trigger) = BFN Second Opinion. Changed RE's. IVF 09/15 Long Lupron 12R/9M/8F, Transferred 1=BFN. 4 frosties. FET #1 12/15 Transferred 1 (3 still on ice)
meagpt22 he's 2 months (9 weeks, almost 10). How old is your LO? I hope it's a phase, I'm getting nervous! He used to be a great mapper!
remylove1011 I've actually been trying that - but after the activity and he's clearly tired, he just won't actually fall asleep. He's definitely tired, and I try to catch it before he's overwhelmed, but he ends up over tired, anyways! Sometimes he starts a new feeding cycle, but after the feed he wants to play again!
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