Parenting Check-In Oct. 5th

[bexincanada]

We haven't had one in a while busy folks... come out and say "hi" and let us know the joys and sorrows these days.

[kona]

O is 2 and S is 7 weeks.

I still feel like I have no skills to parent my 2 yo. She can be so sweet 'mommy thank you for changing my diaper' and then also be such a terror tornado. Is she attention seeking? Is she bored? Is she tired? Do her teeth hurt? Is she just being 2? Ugh.

I got to the library over the weekend to get some parenting books but our town library was closed due to the Jewish Holidays and the next town over did not have a single book I was looking for.

S is so sweet. Although the last few nights she's decided to poop 2-3 times per night, and I'm the overnight diaper changer.

[mahler5]

kona-- E was pooping all the time the first 6 weeks or so but is better now. We started using butt paste at night which we rarely ever had to do with C. It helped a lot as I sometimes wouldn't wake up if she pooped. It's more of a full on barrier cream so really helps. Just FYI if that could be helpful at all.

Yeah my 2 year old is difficult to parent right now. L thinks I'm too easy and not consistent. I think she is impatient and yells to much and can't keep her cool. So, we both could be better in different ways I guess. She has been pooping in potty more but still not consistently. It's just frustrating because she has been peeing in potty really well for 5 months now but the pooping is ankthwr stiry.

She is tilk a lot of fun despite my complaining of the difficulty stuff.

E is awesome. She hit a bit of a sleep regression but I think is snapping out of it fingers crossed.

[bexincanada]

Is is 4 months old. We've hit a bit of a sleep regression... she's up a couple of times a night and last night we were up from 12:45 to 3.

In general she's a happy baby though... she rolled front to back and has gotten her lower body rolled back to front, she spends a lot of time rolling onto her side.

This weekend is super busy with driving and family dinners... I'm trying to not worry too much about sleep and naps but it's hard. I should settle for a happy baby in the car. She's also been "playing strange" a bit so I hope all the family is good and respectful about it if she flips her sh*t and wants to be held by me.

[bexincanada]

2 sounds super tough. We keep going back and forth about spacing of age before trying for number 2. Thoughts?

[mahler5]

Oct 6, 2016 16:12:30 GMT -5 bexincanada said:

2 sounds super tough. We keep going back and forth about spacing of age before trying for number 2. Thoughts?

I guess it depends on person and kids. Ours are 27 months a part. I think C understands a lot now (as opposed to around 18 months) so she follows Direction better. Definitely not always but I feel like it is easier taking the two out than it would be with an 18, month old. She doesn't run everywhere all the time like she used to. Just some of time. Sometimes I think it would be nicer if c was a little older. Would probably be a little easier if she was 4 or even 3. But I am hoping they will be closer. We really couldn't wait as we both are getting old.

[kona]

I feel very similarly to mahler5. Ours are just shy of 25 months apart. I find it very challenging right now as it seemed that O's 2 yo behavior started as soon as we brought S home. I do think it would be easier if O was older and maybe needed less supervision (and was potty trained) but I could be completely wrong. We also are old and didn't have the luxury of waiting.

[bexincanada]

OK, now I'm curious as to what constitutes "old." *lol* I may have to check the private intros. I'm 33 and H is 34... so our eggs are getting up there and I definitely feel older some days. I wonder if waiting to try until Is is 2 would mean a little less energy expended though - who knows, so many variables.

[mahler5]

Oct 7, 2016 12:43:18 GMT -5 bexincanada said:

OK, now I'm curious as to what constitutes "old." *lol* I may have to check the private intros. I'm 33 and H is 34... so our eggs are getting up there and I definitely feel older some days. I wonder if waiting to try until Is is 2 would mean a little less energy expended though - who knows, so many variables.

Both L and I are in our late 30s. Part of me even wants another one in which case we should get the ball rolling on that but I'm not ready at all. I'm at the point where I wonder if it would be better just to wait a year and just see if it works out. Or I could do the pragmatic thing and make an RE appt now, do an egg retrieval, and wait a bit for an egg transfer. But then if I didn't use the embryos I think I would feel bad. Idk. Of course could possibly not even get any embryos.

I can't remember how long it took the first time for you be in Canada..

It's such a crap shoot anyway.

[bexincanada]

mahler5 Third IUI was a success, but number two will be reciprocal IVF with H's eggs so who knows!

[mahler5]

Oct 7, 2016 13:47:30 GMT -5 bexincanada said:

mahler5 Third IUI was a success, but number two will be reciprocal IVF with H's eggs so who knows!

Did H already do an egg retrieval? If so, how many?

If not, I would definitely recommend doing an egg retrieval soon and just freezing right away. The freezing process has improved so much it really doesn't decrease your odds to use frozen embryos. You could also consider genetically testing just to make sure you have ones that will likely stick. We didn't initially and wasted several months before we did. Wish we would have right away.

[bexincanada]

Oct 7, 2016 13:53:45 GMT -5 mahler5 said:

Oct 7, 2016 13:47:30 GMT -5 bexincanada said:

mahler5 Third IUI was a success, but number two will be reciprocal IVF with H's eggs so who knows!

Did H already do an egg retrieval? If so, how many?

If not, I would definitely recommend doing an egg retrieval soon and just freezing right away. The freezing process has improved so much it really doesn't decrease your odds to use frozen embryos. You could also consider genetically testing just to make sure you have ones that will likely stick. We didn't initially and wasted several months before we did. Wish we would have right away.

Nope, and didn't even think of this!! I'm guessing it makes sense even if we won't be using them for a couple of years - more reserve. We'll have to look into this, thanks for bringing it up!

[kona]

M was 36 and 37 when she gave birth. I am 35 right now and would carry any future children.

I agree with mahler that egg retrieval would be a good option.

[rosesquared]

I'll chime in about the eggs even though I'm not a parent *yet*. We knew that for our second kid we would do reciprocal ivf so DW's eggs are already frozen! She'll be 39 this year and has no desire to carry a child (the RE got 43 eggs out of her at age 37!!). I'll be 33 in a few months (pg now with my first) and that was through IUI.

Personally, I think 3 years is a perfect distance between kids. It means they'll get to be in school together for maybe a year, they're close enough in age, but also it means only 1 year of overlapping college payments! I know many people feel like 2 years apart is ideal and anything more means they won't be close. We have 2 sets of nieces where they're each 4 years apart and as close as sisters can be! I think it's all in the parenting.