October 2016 - FALL Y'ALL!

[becwheat]

I am hoping to find a better work balance so I can at least pop in once or twice a week at my lunch hour to say a hello or do a check in.

Updates: My X gets out of prison next month. For those who don't know he was in prison for 6 years after being caught with child porn. I have full physical and legal custody of my oldest Daughter and my current husband has been her dad for 3 years now.

I cannot cut his parental rights without him signing them over... so I have a feeling there will be court dates in my future. I am also expecting calls and texts as soon as he is out. I am not looking forward to this.


Other than that things are fine here! Maggie had another good follow-up with the Cardio docs and we are hoping this continues.

How are all of you? (sorry if I post and run! I will be back!)

[lolo918]

Hi, becwheat! I'm glad to hear Maggie is doing well! I hope the good news continues!

I wish I had something more than positive vibes, and t&ps to you for next month. They feel rather inadequate.

[lolo918]

Ok, so now for my update. I'm currently seeing someone, things seem very promising. I've been posting about it on single ladies and we finally met yesterday. He makes me very happy and seems to be here to stay.

DD has started trying to run instead of walk almost all the time, loves to do exercise with me, has had a recent language explosion, and is a bit more fashion forward than her mother even now. For instance, she frequently has an opinion about the clothes and shoes I try to put on her, and loves having accessories.

I'm still looking for full time jobs, and hopefully something will work out soon. I did manage to get hired as a part time seasonal associate at Kohls, so that relieves some of the stress I've been having with money.

[kmmd]

lolo918, I hope that things continue in this positive direction for you! Good luck with the job hunt too, that's not always a fun thing to be doing.

becwheat, I'm glad that Maggie is doing well and I hope that your ex getting out isn't too stressful on you.

[kmmd]

Things have been okay over here. Ex-h and I seem to be doing pretty well with this co-parenting thing, and each of us have done some give and take to help the other out, so that makes me happy.

I'm still having a really hard time with days that I don't have E, but I'm working on it with my therapist and trying to find things to keep myself busy with on those days.

Being single is good for me right now, but I do find myself getting lonely from time to time. I don't have a lot of friends either, so that doesn't help. But again, I'm working on it.

E is doing really well. Loving her dance classes and doing cool new things all of the time.

[gixgirl]

Hi everyone. I'm still here and kicking. D and I are doing well. Finally starting to get into our own groove of things alone. I started working with a cloth diaper non-profit in my spare time to help alleviate the boredom I was having after he would go to bed. I would find myself on evenings and weekends wanting to talk to someone, anyone, and since I know no one near me it always ended up being STBXH. Not good.

I also realized that my fear of D being gone on overnights was unfounded. The ex hasn't kept him overnight once. Both times he should have since this all started, he found a reason to bring him home early. Not complaining, but it's hard for my Type A planning self when my "alone weekend" plans get suddenly derailed.

[Deleted]

DS continues to adjust to kindergarten, and a full house (3 days a week we have SO's 2 kids with us) Hes been having some pushback on SO living with us too-- normal, expected, but hard. There are days when I feel question my choice of entering a relationship and altering our whole world. (Single mom by choice prior to this past year) I feel like everyone questions this once in awhile, feeling like Im making this choice for both us adds a layer of guilt and questioning that makes the tough times tougher. (most of time I do not have these feelings, but it does crop up.) Overall, though its been a great transition, and watching them grow and interact together a really special thing that I did not expect to happen in our lives. Finally, finally finally- her long and protracted divorce is over, without having to go to trial. (Legally separated for awhile before we moved in together- this has taken over a year WITH lawyers to negotiate. And the stress of that was really wearing. Oddly, theres been a couple of arguments- as we address some of the issues that built up and were tabled during the build up toward trial. And also, SO took a job with a lot more responsibility at the agency she was working at, so health care and so on resolved. Theres a lot to look forward to, and as our frayed and strained nerves start to calm, I find my patience for regular life stress/strain is rapidly regenerating. Aside from the usual drain of night shift-- I may finally have the energy and interest in attacking the problem of wanting a different job- literally we could not have withstood one more change... And as the picture changes, some of the practical pieces of living with a partner could come in to play (as a single parent, I really didn't have much choice to switch to a different shift, with child care considerations etc) Im disbelieving somewhat, and a little afraid to really pursue something else, and be dependent on a partner's aid to make it different, and better- but I feel like it might be time to believe- a little. As weve discussed here many times, the rock bottom feeling from being a single mom, is that core belief that its you- one of my biggest challenges is to NOT single parent my kid all of the time, even living in a household with someone else,to ask or expect help...I was NOT yay- one big happy family! I am really resistant to giving up pieces that I consider mine. This is probably the least helpful aspect of my personality in blending our family. Theres a core that hangs on HARD and instinctively to not sharing DS, and not giving easily to the idea of family, one team one fight- when its been just the 2 of us since the git. I think that's why, when the "single parent" label doesn't technically fit, that I come here. The issues and feelings of a single parent have so strongly formed the fabric of life, that addressing a relationship as a full and equal partnership, feels unfathomable to a degree- even as Im doing it! Loving October, as the external stresses abate, I have shreds of self awareness coming back!

[kmmd]

Oct 14, 2016 12:30:37 GMT -5 gixgirl said:

Hi everyone. I'm still here and kicking. D and I are doing well. Finally starting to get into our own groove of things alone. I started working with a cloth diaper non-profit in my spare time to help alleviate the boredom I was having after he would go to bed. I would find myself on evenings and weekends wanting to talk to someone, anyone, and since I know no one near me it always ended up being STBXH. Not good.

I also realized that my fear of D being gone on overnights was unfounded. The ex hasn't kept him overnight once. Both times he should have since this all started, he found a reason to bring him home early. Not complaining, but it's hard for my Type A planning self when my "alone weekend" plans get suddenly derailed.

Good for you for working with the non profit! I find that I have similar feelings when I'm alone. It's hard. I've never lived alone before and I don't have a big support network of friends and stuff so I've really struggled there. And glad that you don't have to worry about him being gone overnights so much, the less you can worry, the better!