Random chat thread
Nov 3, 2016 10:38:27 GMT -5
Post by fuzzylogic on Nov 3, 2016 10:38:27 GMT -5
Thanks, everyone. I'm doing better today. I think part of why I was feeling so awful on Sunday was that I was getting sick. I always get super teary and weird right before I come down with something. It's the strangest thing! It's always like ultra-PMS. But I just had my cycle and unless my body is really, really out of whack then it shouldn't be PMS.
After having been medicated previously for depression, I have learned to identify those things which trigger those behaviors for me, and have learned some coping mechanisms. Spending time with my sister is one. Getting outside is another. So I'm vowing to take Evelyn on afternoon walks, or to spend time playing in the yard, most days before dinner. It's not a lot of time, but it's something at least. The dishes can wait, right? I also have started to force myself to stop doing anything at 8pm and just lay in bed watching TV. Sometimes H joins me if it's Grey's Anatomy or Hell's Kitchen time, sometimes it's just me.
Part of me wonders how much of this is tied up in my feelings about work. Not only is working in this particular school tough (low-income charter, I've had issues with the admin, no money ever for anything) but education in Oklahoma is really fucked right now. The economy sucks and the legislature doesn't support public education AT ALL. Teachers make no money. Yeah yeah, we go into it for the abstract perks but honestly, it would be nice if they could just give us raises that keep up with the cost of living. H and I have talked about me leaving, and the thought of that makes me so sad, because I dearly love some of the people with whom I work; but I could be with my kid. I could leave behind all the stress of this, of a job where I do the job of 2-3 people and run four budgets and am constantly asked to do more. But then H would have to get our insurance and the premium for the ONE marketplace option in our fucking state is doubling this next season. For some it's up 75%. It's already one of the most expensive in the country, because our state hates the ACA. So even with the trade of daycare vs. insurance, I think with the loss of my income, we would have to drastically change the way we live and wouldn't be able to provide like we would want to.
My husband is a damn lawyer. We should be able to afford this.
After having been medicated previously for depression, I have learned to identify those things which trigger those behaviors for me, and have learned some coping mechanisms. Spending time with my sister is one. Getting outside is another. So I'm vowing to take Evelyn on afternoon walks, or to spend time playing in the yard, most days before dinner. It's not a lot of time, but it's something at least. The dishes can wait, right? I also have started to force myself to stop doing anything at 8pm and just lay in bed watching TV. Sometimes H joins me if it's Grey's Anatomy or Hell's Kitchen time, sometimes it's just me.
Part of me wonders how much of this is tied up in my feelings about work. Not only is working in this particular school tough (low-income charter, I've had issues with the admin, no money ever for anything) but education in Oklahoma is really fucked right now. The economy sucks and the legislature doesn't support public education AT ALL. Teachers make no money. Yeah yeah, we go into it for the abstract perks but honestly, it would be nice if they could just give us raises that keep up with the cost of living. H and I have talked about me leaving, and the thought of that makes me so sad, because I dearly love some of the people with whom I work; but I could be with my kid. I could leave behind all the stress of this, of a job where I do the job of 2-3 people and run four budgets and am constantly asked to do more. But then H would have to get our insurance and the premium for the ONE marketplace option in our fucking state is doubling this next season. For some it's up 75%. It's already one of the most expensive in the country, because our state hates the ACA. So even with the trade of daycare vs. insurance, I think with the loss of my income, we would have to drastically change the way we live and wouldn't be able to provide like we would want to.
My husband is a damn lawyer. We should be able to afford this.