Clicky Poll Wednesday- When are you telling?

[momd83]

We are doing a present of some sort for both grandparents at Christmas. For extended family we see on Christmas eve either my four year old son or myself will wear a shirt announcing it in some sort of funny way. Last time with my son, we told at Thanksgiving. We did it in the prayer before dinner! The screaming was awesome from my aunt in law. Lol.

[amylee545]

We'll tell my family and MH's family after my ultrasound at 9 weeks as long as everything looks good. Then tell the world around Christmas, hopefully after we hear the heartbeat and have the NT scan (around 12weeksish). I can't keep the secret much longer than that.

[bepandnick]

So we told my family this weekend. We were spending the weekend with a bunch of them and I didn't have it in me to fake drink the whole time. DH told MIL too so she wouldn't feel left out.

[AmazingTulip]

Well I guess my Dad will find out this coming weekend. He's coming to visit and he'll know when I'm not drinking. He paid for my septum surgery, so I guess he deserves to know early.

[gerberdaisy]

We're telling family at Thanksgiving. It will be too much work to fake drink all weekend. As it is, we were will BIL/SIL last weekend, as soon as I didn't say yes to a glass of wine BIL asked H if I was pregnant, so we told them.

Also, found out that another SIL is pregnant too and will announce at Thanksgiving, so it'll be fun for everyone to find out.

I will say though, I'm enjoying that not many people know. Partially because I'm really nervous of a loss and its fun that its our secret, last time everyone new immediately.

[toadandbuggie]

I decided I'm going to tell my ILs tonight at my MILs 50th birthday dinner in her card. Something like "we have another present for you that will be ready July 2017!"

[selma8]

Nov 2, 2016 12:19:57 GMT -5 amyface813 said:

We told my IL already because they are helping us with house stuff and I have been wearing a respirator to paint and stain. I told our DC lady this morning. We'll probably tell people as it comes up.

I'm nervous about telling my sister because she had a loss at 13 weeks in August. That one will be difficult.

I've told my parents and a few close friends mostly because I feel awful and feel like I need to justify my grey face. We told my brother and SIL at the same time as my parents (right before Thanksgiving) because I knew it might come up. My SIL has had two miscarriages in the past year- one at 9-10 weeks, one at 11-12 weeks, so I knew it would be a sensitive subject. I emailed her and my bro, and they both seemed happy...I don't know. I had really mixed feelings about telling her, but in the end, I knew she would find out at some point, and it would be best to just treat it as normally as possible. She was a bit off at Thanksgiving (but I think it was because my weird cousin's wife also announced on fb at like 4 weeks)...In any event, my mom's advice was, she loves you, she'll be happy for you even if it hurts her. I had a miscarriage when her daughter was just 6 months or so, and I was a total mess. I think the reality is that she'll probably feel the grief whenever she finds out, so treat her gently and with respect. :/

[amyface813]

Dec 2, 2016 14:48:50 GMT -5 selma8 said:

Nov 2, 2016 12:19:57 GMT -5 amyface813 said:

We told my IL already because they are helping us with house stuff and I have been wearing a respirator to paint and stain. I told our DC lady this morning. We'll probably tell people as it comes up.

I'm nervous about telling my sister because she had a loss at 13 weeks in August. That one will be difficult.

I've told my parents and a few close friends mostly because I feel awful and feel like I need to justify my grey face. We told my brother and SIL at the same time as my parents (right before Thanksgiving) because I knew it might come up. My SIL has had two miscarriages in the past year- one at 9-10 weeks, one at 11-12 weeks, so I knew it would be a sensitive subject. I emailed her and my bro, and they both seemed happy...I don't know. I had really mixed feelings about telling her, but in the end, I knew she would find out at some point, and it would be best to just treat it as normally as possible. She was a bit off at Thanksgiving (but I think it was because my weird cousin's wife also announced on fb at like 4 weeks)...In any event, my mom's advice was, she loves you, she'll be happy for you even if it hurts her. I had a miscarriage when her daughter was just 6 months or so, and I was a total mess. I think the reality is that she'll probably feel the grief whenever she finds out, so treat her gently and with respect. :/

Thanks for sharing your experiences! I'm feeling better about telling her now. I'll see my whole family next week. I think I'll bring her aside and tell her first, see how she takes it, tell her she doesn't have to be happy for me right now and she can be sad and I'll totally understand. That will give me a good feel about whether I can make a big deal about it with the rest of the family. Or I could wait to tell everyone else when she's not around.

[megeliz1]

I'm on the app so not able to vote. We've told everyone and announced on fb. I have had a prior loss and still tell early every time. We wait until after our first ultrasound but my family and friends support means the world to me.

[JoBub]

We told my IL's on Thanksgiving, and MIL took it upon herself to post it on Facebook.
Luckily my family already knew, and her FB is private and she didn't tag us, so it's not like she announced to EVERYONE, but I'm sure lots of H's old friends saw it. I mean, it's not like we would have told them personally anyway, but they could at least find out from our FB pages instead of her's. I'm mildly annoyed.

Anyway, all this to say, I wasn't planning on doing a FB announcement, but I feel like we should now, since she already did.

[sstwinklinglites]

We told my parents & sister on Thanksgiving, and then my mom told everyone she ran into the entire rest of the time I was in Miami. I was so annoyed. My fault I guess for not telling her to keep her mouth shut.

[selma8]

Dec 2, 2016 15:01:09 GMT -5 amyface813 said:

Dec 2, 2016 14:48:50 GMT -5 selma8 said:

I've told my parents and a few close friends mostly because I feel awful and feel like I need to justify my grey face. We told my brother and SIL at the same time as my parents (right before Thanksgiving) because I knew it might come up. My SIL has had two miscarriages in the past year- one at 9-10 weeks, one at 11-12 weeks, so I knew it would be a sensitive subject. I emailed her and my bro, and they both seemed happy...I don't know. I had really mixed feelings about telling her, but in the end, I knew she would find out at some point, and it would be best to just treat it as normally as possible. She was a bit off at Thanksgiving (but I think it was because my weird cousin's wife also announced on fb at like 4 weeks)...In any event, my mom's advice was, she loves you, she'll be happy for you even if it hurts her. I had a miscarriage when her daughter was just 6 months or so, and I was a total mess. I think the reality is that she'll probably feel the grief whenever she finds out, so treat her gently and with respect. :/

Thanks for sharing your experiences! I'm feeling better about telling her now. I'll see my whole family next week. I think I'll bring her aside and tell her first, see how she takes it, tell her she doesn't have to be happy for me right now and she can be sad and I'll totally understand. That will give me a good feel about whether I can make a big deal about it with the rest of the family. Or I could wait to tell everyone else when she's not around.

Yeah I feel like giving her kind of an 'out' is important, ya know? Maybe even telling her via email beforehand so she isn't forced to react to your face right away? IDK. I suppose it also depends on your relationship with SIL. I love mine dearly, but we're not like sister-close or anything.

Anyway, It's one of those things where if you're the type of person who worries so much about this kind of thing, you're already the kind of person who's sensitive and kind about it, so you'll probably do just the right thing by nature.

[amyface813]

Dec 2, 2016 16:30:29 GMT -5 selma8 said:

Dec 2, 2016 15:01:09 GMT -5 amyface813 said:

Thanks for sharing your experiences! I'm feeling better about telling her now. I'll see my whole family next week. I think I'll bring her aside and tell her first, see how she takes it, tell her she doesn't have to be happy for me right now and she can be sad and I'll totally understand. That will give me a good feel about whether I can make a big deal about it with the rest of the family. Or I could wait to tell everyone else when she's not around.

Yeah I feel like giving her kind of an 'out' is important, ya know? Maybe even telling her via email beforehand so she isn't forced to react to your face right away? IDK. I suppose it also depends on your relationship with SIL. I love mine dearly, but we're not like sister-close or anything.

Anyway, It's one of those things where if you're the type of person who worries so much about this kind of thing, you're already the kind of person who's sensitive and kind about it, so you'll probably do just the right thing by nature.

I thought about the email thing but I feel like she would be pissed if I didn't tell her in person. She's my sister and has been my best friend my whole life. I'm still hoping she just tells me she's pregnant first. Then we can both be happy for each other.

[murran13]

Dec 2, 2016 15:15:51 GMT -5 JoBub said:

We told my IL's on Thanksgiving, and MIL took it upon herself to post it on Facebook.
Luckily my family already knew, and her FB is private and she didn't tag us, so it's not like she announced to EVERYONE, but I'm sure lots of H's old friends saw it. I mean, it's not like we would have told them personally anyway, but they could at least find out from our FB pages instead of her's. I'm mildly annoyed.

Anyway, all this to say, I wasn't planning on doing a FB announcement, but I feel like we should now, since she already did.

I'd be annoyed as hell! Way to take it well.

[murran13]

Totally missed this until now. 😌 we told both sets of our parents early, thanksgiving day, but no one else until after our first appointment. Except for a random stranger at Walmart. he saw me I losing groceries and getting ready to take the cart back with my toddler, and he came and grabbed he cart for me. I told him I was dealing with morning sickness so he was my hero!

[MrsRC88]

We haven't told many people yet. In fact, so far just my pastor and his wife. We plan on telling my parents next week when we visit (I live way out of state), and then his parents shortly after. We may tell some close family and friends at Christmas, everyone else will have to wait until 2nd tri.

[mrscatfarmer13]

We've told a handful of people, but plan on announcing to our families at Christmas. I wanted to wait until after my first appointment which is this Tuesday. I need to figure out how to tell one of my best friends, she had a transfer in mid November and just found out neither embryo took

[easilyunamused]

Dec 3, 2016 23:02:52 GMT -5 bdblz said:

Dec 3, 2016 16:57:42 GMT -5 mrscatfarmer13 said:

We've told a handful of people, but plan on announcing to our families at Christmas. I wanted to wait until after my first appointment which is this Tuesday. I need to figure out how to tell one of my best friends, she had a transfer in mid November and just found out neither embryo took

#lifetwin

I just found out my work BFF's transfer didn't take either and then she flat out asked me if I was pregnant. I wasn't planning on telling her via text but it is what it is. HoHum.

Otherwise as long as everything is good at my 1st appt we will tell our immediate families on Christmas. Everyone else we will tell after 12 weeks.

As a women who went through infertility treatments to get pregnant, I think a text is not only perfectly fine, it's the best option. Even though I'll be really excited and happy for you, I may burst into tears. So being able to feel my feeling without an audience at first would be really helpful. And once I could gather myself, give you a response that I really do feel, but with the infertility demon out of the way.

I may be rambling and not making sense. Sorry! lol

[xxjen015]

We told our families on Thanksgiving. We've told our close friends. We'll announce either at Christmas or New Years. I'll be 10-11 weeks then.