PAIF/PgAL Check-in November 14-20

[bepandnick]

Hi ladies! How is everyone doing?

Since this is our first check-in, I thought we could share a little bit about ourselves. And also share any thoughts, questions, concerns, vents etc.

[bepandnick]

***warning LC mentioned***



This is my 6th pregnancy and I have one DS, who was my F14 rainbow born in Jan14.

3 of my losses have been really early and one was a MMC due in Jan17. October through January are when the majority of my loss EDDs occur and that's messing with my head a little.

We have been TFAS since February and have had 3 losses on our way to this pregnancy. I'm also AMA and was going to start testing with an RE if this cycle was unsuccessful.

Betas for this one have been good, so my dr is having me wait until 8w for an u/s, which is on 12/8 or about 3 weeks away.

I had a PgAL moment today so I poas and the test line popped up before the control line and was really, really dark. So that calmed my brain for a little bit.

[akraus2015]

Hi friends,

I'm glad we have a check-in so we can keep each other thinking straight!

Most of my history is in my siggy, but I'll give a brief overview here too for those that are mobile. We got pregnant with our son, Emmett, on our honeymoon in May of last year. It was a really rough pregnancy from the start with two SCH's and slow rising betas. We found out we lost him at our 13 week appointment, but he stopped growing around 10 weeks. It is by far the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life and has changed me forever. Emmett is buried with H's grandparents so we get to visit him often, and he will be in our hearts forever.

I had another very early loss around 5 weeks last December. Since then we've been working with a RE. They were early and aggressive with my treatment, so we did 4 rounds of Clomid + TI, 1 round of Letrizole + TI, and two failed IUIs. We were taking a break this cycle to save some money (and because we had a previously planned trip to Vegas) and got a surprise BFP...hello Vegas baby. I'm kind of flying blind with this one and have no idea when I ovulated, but my guess is they'll push my due date back a week or so once I go in for my dating scan next week.

My RE's office is amazing about early monitoring, so I've had 4 betas. Started at 41 last Monday and have increased to 121, 282, and 1,130. I'll go in for one more blood draw on Friday and then an ultrasound next Wednesday. Even though my numbers are looking great, I'm terrified and know that this beautiful dream could disappear at any minute. I'm trying to focus on gratitude and enjoy every second of this pregnancy for as long as it lasts. That being said, deep down inside I have a good feeling about this one, and I think this will be our rainbow.

[MissSally]

Hili. Thank you for doing this.

This is my 4th pregnancy. I have a DD who just turned 7. She was from a previous marriage, and I had her really young.

My H and I have been together for almost 4 years, married just over two. We started TTC as soon as we got married, and had two consecutive miscarriages, followed by 18 months of infertility. We had met with an RE, but decided to do a cycle or two with the OB before transitioning, because we would have been paying out of pocket and it is EXPENSIVE. So we got KU on our first Letrozole cycle!

My first three betas were great, and I had an ultrasound last week. I was supposed to be 6w, but I was only 5w6d, so they couldn't see anything other than the yolk and gestational sac. I'm not worried, because I have crazy irregular cycles, so ovulating a day or two after CD14 even on meds doesn't surprise me in the least. Plus I'm having symptom overload, which keeps my mind at ease. I have a follow-up US a week from today. I'll be 8weeks at that point, so I'm keeping fingers crossed for a great update!

I've also passed both loss milestones already, so I'm feeling pretty confident. I still have moments of PgAL brain, but for the most part I have been so busy trying to keep from throwing up, or simply staying awake, that I haven't had time to focus on it.

[jayhawk84]

Hugs to all you ladies who've experienced loss. Thank you bepandnick for starting the check-in.

I had an early loss in August. I am nervous about another loss but also optimistic based on good betas and plenty of symptoms. I have an u/s scheduled for Friday at what will be 6wk5d. I really hope we can possibly see a heartbeat then!

[Madso]

****LC mentioned ****

Thank you for the check in 😊

I have a 6 almost 7 year old daughter. Two years ago we tried for a second and I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum in October of 2014. On New Year's Eve I found out I was pregnant again with my now rainbow baby, Valentina is 15 months. This past June I was shocked to find out I was pregnant again. I was measuring a week behind but saw the flicker of the heartbeat. That weekend I began bleeding and found out that the baby's heartbeat had stopped.

I'm petrified of another loss and I hope I get to stay this time ❤️

[vancitygirl]

I love that you guys started this board.
I had a missed miscarriage when I was 11 weeks (though the embryo measured only 8w or so) about 20 months ago and was not able to get pregnant again until now. We had our first appt with the specialist OB in our area who deals with infertility and I managed to get a cancellation appointment--then found out I was PG the next day so this was a natural pregnancy.
I'm constantly freaking out and POAS every other day out of fear that I'm not pregnant. Whenever I'm not nauseous or my boobs don't hurt I feel like I must no longer be pregnant and I have full on meltdowns every few days. I'm just so scared and I don't know how to shake it.
The specialist OB is now seeing me for pre-natal for the first 5 months and if there are no worries he'll transfer me over to the maternity clinic. What concerns me is that I've only had one blood test and I have an US scheduled for the 28th when I"ll be 9 weeks...which is past my last MMC and I wish I had an earlier one but he says he sees no reason to be concerned. FX that everything turns out both for me and everyone else on this thread.

[bepandnick]

I had today off and definitely over did it with getting stuff down around the house. I ended up pretty crampy, which is torture for my PgAL brain. Luckily after drinking a lot of water and staying off my feet, I feel better.

[akraus2015]

I got my last betas today. 8,947 after 1,131 on Monday. I think I'm *finally* starting to relax a little bit. We didn't track betas this far with Emmett, so I don't know if I've ever made it this far in terms of HCG levels (they definitely didn't get this high with my second pregnancy), but so far things look good all around. We'll go in on Wednesday next week to hear the heartbeat. I'm still a little worried about seeing SCH's again (we discovered 2 on the first ultrasound with Emmett and ultimately ended up losing him, even after they "healed" officially), but I haven't seen any spotting at all, which I think is a good sign.

[jayhawk84]

I had my u/s today and got to see a heartbeat!! As happy as I am, this has oddly made my pgal anxiety worse-- like, its more "real" and more scary to imagine something happening. I'm trying to just let myself celebrate and be happy.

ETA: I am totally not suggesting that a pregnancy is only real if you have a heartbeat. I just mean that, for me personally, seeing the u/s made me feel more pregnant which freaked me out at the thought of it all going away again.

[bepandnick]

Those are great betas akraus2015! FX for no SCH's and a great u/s.

Yea for seeing the heartbeat today jayhawk84!

[akraus2015]

I'm having bouts of cramping that are absolutely terrifying me. We're on our way into the city for a hockey game and I'm freaking out.

[bepandnick]

Nov 19, 2016 19:38:47 GMT -5 akraus2015 said:

I'm having bouts of cramping that are absolutely terrifying me. We're on our way into the city for a hockey game and I'm freaking out.

I was just complaining about the same thing to an irl friend. I hope they calm down for you lady.

[akraus2015]

Nov 19, 2016 19:46:30 GMT -5 bepandnick said:

Nov 19, 2016 19:38:47 GMT -5 akraus2015 said:

I'm having bouts of cramping that are absolutely terrifying me. We're on our way into the city for a hockey game and I'm freaking out.

I was just complaining about the same thing to an irl friend. I hope they calm down for you lady.

I know it's normal as long as there is no bleeding but I'm scared shitless.

[bepandnick]

Nov 19, 2016 19:49:54 GMT -5 akraus2015 said:

Nov 19, 2016 19:46:30 GMT -5 bepandnick said:

I was just complaining about the same thing to an irl friend. I hope they calm down for you lady.

I know it's normal as long as there is no bleeding but I'm scared shitless.

Me too. I can tell you from my early losses, that the cramps didn't really start until the bleeding did.

[akraus2015]

Nov 19, 2016 19:52:36 GMT -5 bepandnick said:

Nov 19, 2016 19:49:54 GMT -5 akraus2015 said:

I know it's normal as long as there is no bleeding but I'm scared shitless.

Me too. I can tell you from my early losses, that the cramps didn't really start until the bleeding did.

Now that you say that I think I remember spotting first and then cramping.

[jayhawk84]

Hugs, akraus2015, I hope the cramping calms down so you can enjoy the hockey game!

[bepandnick]

How are you doing this morning akraus2015?

[akraus2015]

Nov 20, 2016 8:52:33 GMT -5 bepandnick said:

How are you doing this morning akraus2015?

So much better. Thanks for talking me through my crazy last night. ❤️

[rosey06]

Thought this was a good place to for me to first jump in... cause let's face it, I'm an already paranoid person with a recent loss sooo I'm basically a basket case.

So hiiii! Sorry to hear about your losses and congrats to all!
We have one little boy born 2012. Finally got back off the pill last nov, not really trying but not preventing. Then I started charting again in May. Got pregnant in July but lost it Labor Day weekend. I don't think my body fully got back to normal before this pregnancy though. It spent 2 wks trying to ovulate with multiple surges. And my thyroid levels are still a little off. But my endo isn't concerned though. So I am surprised I'm even here? So I think that's why I feel like something could go bad.

I wish I remembered more from my sons pregnancy. I can't remember what all I felt that first week... sore boobs etc. That last one a couple months ago though, def sore boobs. That disappearing is actually what made me suspect a mc was going to happen. And I got nothing here. I wish they'd just get a little tender over here lol. So early symptoms really vary that much between pregnancies?

So anxious to call my dr tomorrow. Hopefully she sends me for blood work same day.. since it's the holiday week.

[MissSally]

hi rosey06! The symptoms are absolutely different with every pregnancy. I had nothing with DD (that was also 8 years ago so my memory is not great). Then with both of the pregnancies that ended in miscarriages, I had sore boobs and that was about it. I've got a boatload of everything with this one, but mainly morning (all day) sickness.

FX for more symptoms though, because I know it helps ease the PgAL brain a lot!