It has been requested MULTIPLE times that NariaDreaming just put on her fucking big girl panties and offer a sincere apology, not a #sorrynotsorry. You've ignored multiple tags, and you're basically refusing to acknowledge this request. Instead you send in Bibs & Theo to handle everything on your behalf.
GURL. You are the "business owner." This is YOUR project, YOUR baby, YOUR dream. If you can't even own your mistakes, and not run away during the difficult times, how the hell do you expect to succeed? You need your client's (that'd be us..) trust & respect. The way you are handling this situation is childish, not something I would trust or respect.
Yes, Naria was the one to make the callout. As stated by Biblio and Theo, it was not solely Naria's decision. All admins were aware of the decision. All admins supported the decision, as informed by the TOU and community desires for transparency, as well as the unamended TOU which stated that AEs were not permitted if they were pretending to be someone else.
Now that the TOU has been amended, I can say that I am sorry for how things were handled. The TOU didn't allow for certain circumstances and I want very badly to make sure that it is more clear and serves all of us better in the future.
But we don't know who you are. As has been mentioned already, since we already know the 3 admins personally, we need each to have an admin account. Because in paragraph 1 you refer to all 3 admins in 3rd person. But in the 2nd paragraph you use the pronoun I.
Yes, Naria was the one to make the callout. As stated by Biblio and Theo, it was not solely Naria's decision. All admins were aware of the decision. All admins supported the decision, as informed by the TOU and community desires for transparency, as well as the unamended TOU which stated that AEs were not permitted if they were pretending to be someone else.
Now that the TOU has been amended, I can say that I am sorry for how things were handled. The TOU didn't allow for certain circumstances and I want very badly to make sure that it is more clear and serves all of us better in the future.
But we don't know who you are. As has been mentioned already, since we already know the 3 admins personally, we need each to have an admin account. Because in paragraph 1 you refer to all 3 admins in 3rd person. But in the 2nd paragraph you use the pronoun I.
Biblio. It's Biblio. I volunteered to be the voice today, and actually, most of the time. Also, y'all are making a girl drink and it's only 1:00, so pronouns are tough.
Yes, Naria was the one to make the callout. As stated by Biblio and Theo, it was not solely Naria's decision. All admins were aware of the decision. All admins supported the decision, as informed by the TOU and community desires for transparency, as well as the unamended TOU which stated that AEs were not permitted if they were pretending to be someone else.
Now that the TOU has been amended, I can say that I am sorry for how things were handled. The TOU didn't allow for certain circumstances and I want very badly to make sure that it is more clear and serves all of us better in the future.
The community guidelines have been amended.
That's what I see in the sticky. NOT The actual TOU.... They are not the same document but keep being referred to as TOU changes that are actually Community Guideline changes. lol.
It has been stated several times that people would like NariaDreaming to address this. Not Theo, not biblio, not TCF news. The fact that this request keeps getting ignored is beyond frustrating.
I have no dog in this fight but the fact that she keeps ignoring several tags and requests is off putting. We all understand we can't change the past but she can at least address it as has been requested several times by several people.
NariaDreaming doesn't think she's done ANYTHING wrong though. She's posting freely on other threads.
Yeah, I saw that. That's why it's so frustrating that so many tags are getting ignored. Even if you don't feel the need to apologize, at least address the several posters who are trying to have a discussion with you. This is your company. Don't ignore your customers.
Post by helloerrbody on Nov 30, 2016 13:48:12 GMT -5
Here is the thing. If you (NariaDreaming,bibliothecary,theophania,wordsy,TCF News,) want this site to just be a message board, a place for us to post - including yourselves - then run this shit however you want. Ask our opinions on things like this or don't - it's your call. Post from your personal accounts, and intermix business and pleasure. If people get pissed and leave - who cares. If new posters don't like it - who cares.
But if you want this to become a legitimate business and eventually turn a profit for the admins, then run it like a business. You can't say, "I'm too lazy to get on mobile," or "I'm having a hard time in my personal life so I can't deal with this right now." Business owners don't get to say that. Don't ignore your clients when we ask for an apology. Don't disappear from a thread because you are personally mad, when we are asking for a response. Because business owners can't piss off their customers and expect to be profitable and grow. And you need to be able to separate your personal posting on the site and relationships, etc. from the business/admin side of things.
So which is it - do you just want to post here and run the boards whenever/however you want or do you want this to be a legit, profitable site?
But we don't know who you are. As has been mentioned already, since we already know the 3 admins personally, we need each to have an admin account. Because in paragraph 1 you refer to all 3 admins in 3rd person. But in the 2nd paragraph you use the pronoun I.
Biblio. It's Biblio. I volunteered to be the voice today, and actually, most of the time. Also, y'all are making a girl drink and it's only 1:00, so pronouns are tough.
You know I love you, but that's the problem -- the members of TCF don't want Biblio's apology on behalf of NariaDreaming. They want NariaDreaming to come in, acknowledge that she made a bad decision, apologize sincerely, offer the solution of how it will not happen in the future. That fact that she wants us to use her site, support her business, and she can't even fucking address us herself to give an apology is downright insulting.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
It has been stated several times that people would like NariaDreaming to address this. Not Theo, not biblio, not TCF news. The fact that this request keeps getting ignored is beyond frustrating.
I have no dog in this fight but the fact that she keeps ignoring several tags and requests is off putting. We all understand we can't change the past but she can at least address it as has been requested several times by several people.
NariaDreaming doesn't think she's done ANYTHING wrong though. She's posting freely on other threads.
Oof yeah. I kind of thought she was so overwhelmed so maybe taking an Internet break (not really something someone who owns and runs an Internet business gets to do if they want success, but I digress), but nope you're right.
Post by risscaboobs on Nov 30, 2016 13:53:37 GMT -5
Okay. All three admins agreed on the course of action. But Naria was the face of the outing. She had fun with her little mic drop. She got a few of the "IFLY"'s she lives for. When things went south though, she disappeared leaving Theo and you (as I'm fairly certain this is Bibs because of the respectful manner of speaking to us and actually addressing all questions) to deal with the fallout. We're asking for a genuine apology from NariaDreaming.
Honestly, though, I don't know if my trust in her is even in her grasp at this point. Her handling of this entire situation is beyond ridiculous and unprofessional. If you are the owner of a business, then YOU have to own up to your shit. A CEO doesn't come out and say, well my staff and I all agreed....
NariaDreaming doesn't think she's done ANYTHING wrong though. She's posting freely on other threads.
Oof yeah. I kind of thought she was so overwhelmed so maybe taking an Internet break (not really something someone who owns and runs an Internet business gets to do if they want success, but I digress), but nope you're right.
Biblio. It's Biblio. I volunteered to be the voice today, and actually, most of the time. Also, y'all are making a girl drink and it's only 1:00, so pronouns are tough.
You know I love you, but that's the problem -- the members of TCF don't want Biblio's apology on behalf of NariaDreaming . They want NariaDreaming to come in, acknowledge that she made a bad decision, apologize sincerely, offer the solution of how it will not happen in the future. That fact that she wants us to use her site, support her business, and she can't even fucking address us herself to give an apology is downright insulting.
I think the key though is that she doesn't think she owes us an apology. I don't think it is that she doesn't want to apologize. Even in biblio's recent responses, they are defending how it was handled as appropriate under the old Community Guidelines.
I don't know that an insincere forced apology would really help people feel better. So I think it'll just keep going in circles until it gets dropped or until the admins/naria agree that a wrong decision was made.
You know I love you, but that's the problem -- the members of TCF don't want Biblio's apology on behalf of NariaDreaming . They want NariaDreaming to come in, acknowledge that she made a bad decision, apologize sincerely, offer the solution of how it will not happen in the future. That fact that she wants us to use her site, support her business, and she can't even fucking address us herself to give an apology is downright insulting.
I think the key though is that she doesn't think she owes us an apology. I don't think it is that she doesn't want to apologize. Even in biblio's recent responses, they are defending how it was handled as appropriate under the old Community Guidelines.
I don't know that an insincere forced apology would really help people feel better. So I think it'll just keep going in circles until it gets dropped or until the admins/naria agree that a wrong decision was made.
She'd earn a little respect if she'd come here and say, "I don't think I owe y'all an apology. I handled it appropriately based on the old guidelines." But she is ignoring us altogether, and that is beyond infuriating.
You know I love you, but that's the problem -- the members of TCF don't want Biblio's apology on behalf of NariaDreaming . They want NariaDreaming to come in, acknowledge that she made a bad decision, apologize sincerely, offer the solution of how it will not happen in the future. That fact that she wants us to use her site, support her business, and she can't even fucking address us herself to give an apology is downright insulting.
I think the key though is that she doesn't think she owes us an apology. I don't think it is that she doesn't want to apologize. Even in biblio's recent responses, they are defending how it was handled as appropriate under the old Community Guidelines.
I don't know that an insincere forced apology would really help people feel better. So I think it'll just keep going in circles until it gets dropped or until the admins/naria agree that a wrong decision was made.
The wrong decision that this could ever be more than a message board and shouldn't be considered one's business if she can't handle it?
You know I love you, but that's the problem -- the members of TCF don't want Biblio's apology on behalf of NariaDreaming . They want NariaDreaming to come in, acknowledge that she made a bad decision, apologize sincerely, offer the solution of how it will not happen in the future. That fact that she wants us to use her site, support her business, and she can't even fucking address us herself to give an apology is downright insulting.
I think the key though is that she doesn't think she owes us an apology. I don't think it is that she doesn't want to apologize. Even in biblio's recent responses, they are defending how it was handled as appropriate under the old Community Guidelines.
I don't know that an insincere forced apology would really help people feel better. So I think it'll just keep going in circles until it gets dropped or until the admins/naria agree that a wrong decision was made.
Ok well why can't NariaDreaming at least address it? Regardless if she apologizes or not, she should at least respond. This has been requested SEVERAL times and yet nothing but silence.
I think the key though is that she doesn't think she owes us an apology. I don't think it is that she doesn't want to apologize. Even in biblio's recent responses, they are defending how it was handled as appropriate under the old Community Guidelines.
I don't know that an insincere forced apology would really help people feel better. So I think it'll just keep going in circles until it gets dropped or until the admins/naria agree that a wrong decision was made.
Ok well why can't NariaDreaming at least address it? Regardless if she apologizes or not, she should at least respond. This has been requested SEVERAL times and yet nothing but silence.
I don't disagree. I was just stating how I was interpreting her silence and the recent posts by TCF News.
Regarding use of this generic admin account, there have been several situations in the past where members have expressed frustration when admins were using their personal accounts to post admin business. The use of this account is one solution to that problem, but we are open to others.
Admins need a different account per admin. I want to know which admin is speaking. This isn't the borg, you have identities just don't mix them with your personal account.
Post by icaughtfire on Nov 30, 2016 14:15:23 GMT -5
Even just a "Hey, I apologize for ignoring this situation, and all the multiple requests for answers. I'm feeling overwhelmed, and I've been known to make hasty choices..I'd like to collect my thoughts before responding." Just SOMETHING. The total non-response from the "leader" is basically a big fuck you. Good to know where we stand as customers. 👍🏻
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
Even just a "Hey, I apologize for ignoring this situation, and all the multiple requests for answers. I'm feeling overwhelmed, and I've been known to make hasty choices..I'd like to collect my thoughts before responding." Just SOMETHING. The total non-response from the "leader" is basically a big fuck you. Good to know where we stand as customers. 👍🏻
Last Edit: Nov 30, 2016 14:18:06 GMT -5 by NariaDreaming
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Post by angelashly on Nov 30, 2016 14:36:31 GMT -5
So does this mean that someone leaves/takes a break whatever and decides to come back as some one new and changes age of kids or just doesn't bring them up, but someone who didn't like them before figures out who it is and PMs a admin even though the poster is fine under the new username and not doing anything wrong would still get an I see you PM?
Post by NariaDreaming on Nov 30, 2016 14:36:44 GMT -5
Hey guys. We know we fucked up. And I take 100% responsiblity for my action upon the decision that was made. We were wrong. We based our actions over the weekend on past experience. If I didn't think we were wrong, and bibs didn't think we were wrong, and theo didn't think we were wrong, we wouldn't have made this poll.
We aren't clairvoyant. We cannot read minds. We can only base our actions on the TOU and Community Guidelines, and shape our policies and responses based on experience. And our experiences with recent private board requests, password changes, and a plethora of PMs inquiring about possible catfish shaped our decision to call out the AE vs. ban them vs. do nothing. The community has spoken. Quite loudly. We hear you. That is why we are working on amending our policies to address your concerns. We cannot change our past action. We can only do better moving forward.
However, I am done with the witch hunt after me. I am not the owner. I am one member in a multi-owner LLC. We make decisions collectively, and we take responsibility collectively. Do I happen to be the one who logs in and takes action most of the time? Yes. Because the reality is that both theo and bibs have babies, and I do not. When it comes to balancing households and work stuff, I'm the one who has the most flexibility to drop what I'm doing and handle things. My husband is an adult who understands why dinner's going to be a few minutes late, or why we need to run home to take care of something, or why it's going to be 'just a minute". Theo and Bibs don't have that luxuy right now. G and K don't understand that mommy has to pin an announcemnt or delete some random spam and that mommy will be right back. And God willing sometime next year I'll be the one deleting spam at 3AM and theo and bibs will be the ones handling a lot of the day to day action that's based upon our collective decisions. But for the past 22 months I've been the face of the admin team, the "bad guy" the "action-taker". Whatever you want to call it. And I've readily done that without question because the days are long but the years are short, and my business partners deserve every extra moment possible with their babies while they are still babies.
Theo and Bibs asked me to let them handle this situation, because they felt they were just as responsible as I was for the action that was taken. So moving forward, when Theo is wearing her admin hat, or when biblio is, I would ask that you all understand that it carries the same weight as a response that comes from me. Because theo has been with this site since the 2nd hour, and biblio has worked her ass off for the past year. We are a team, and we want to be treated as such.
So if you're going to blame one of us, blame all of us. If you're going to thank one of us, thank all of us. If one of us apologizes on behalf of the business, know that that apology speaks for all of us. I trust these two women with my life. Quite literally. If I didn't trust them to be able to speak on behalf of the owners of TCF, they wouldn't be my business partners.
But if you're going to send us wine, please send it individually.
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
Hey guys. We know we fucked up. And I take 100% responsiblity for my action upon the decision that was made. We were wrong. We based our actions over the weekend on past experience. If I didn't think we were wrong, and bibs didn't think we were wrong, and theo didn't think we were wrong, we wouldn't have made this poll.
We aren't clairvoyant. We cannot read minds. We can only base our actions on the TOU and Community Guidelines, and shape our policies and responses based on experience. And our experiences with recent private board requests, password changes, and a plethora of PMs inquiring about possible catfish shaped our decision to call out the AE vs. ban them vs. do nothing. The community has spoken. Quite loudly. We hear you. That is why we are working on amending our policies to address your concerns. We cannot change our past action. We can only do better moving forward.
However, I am done with the witch hunt after me. I am not the owner. I am one member in a multi-owner LLC. We make decisions collectively, and we take responsibility collectively. Do I happen to be the one who logs in and takes action most of the time? Yes. Because the reality is that both theo and bibs have babies, and I do not. When it comes to balancing households and work stuff, I'm the one who has the most flexibility to drop what I'm doing and handle things. My husband is an adult who understands why dinner's going to be a few minutes late, or why we need to run home to take care of something, or why it's going to be 'just a minute". Theo and Bibs don't have that luxuy right now. G and K don't understand that mommy has to pin an announcemnt or delete some random spam and that mommy will be right back. And God willing sometime next year I'll be the one deleting spam at 3AM and theo and bibs will be the ones handling a lot of the day to day action that's based upon our collective decisions. But for the past 22 months I've been the face of the admin team, the "bad guy" the "action-taker". Whatever you want to call it. And I've readily done that without question because the days are long but the years are short, and my business partners deserve every extra moment possible with their babies while they are still babies.
Theo and Bibs asked me to let them handle this situation, because they felt they were just as responsible as I was for the action that was taken. So moving forward, when Theo is wearing her admin hat, or when biblio is, I would ask that you all understand that it carries the same weight as a response that comes from me. Because theo has been with this site since the 2nd hour, and biblio has worked her ass off for the past year. We are a team, and we want to be treated as such.
So if you're going to blame one of us, blame all of us. If you're going to thank one of us, thank all of us. If one of us apologizes on behalf of the business, know that that apology speaks for all of us. I trust these two women with my life. Quite literally. If I didn't trust them to be able to speak on behalf of the owners of TCF, they wouldn't be my business partners.
But if you're going to send us wine, please send it individually.
Post by rablissful on Nov 30, 2016 14:51:32 GMT -5
OH LOOK ANOTHER NON APOLOGY. And pain Olympics. And a guilt trip. All in one with a bow on top. Fucking wonderful.
NariaDreaming, this is literally all you had to say the first time it was asked of you to apologize, but God fucking forbid you put your big girl panties on until there is a fucking riot. "We as admins decided that the ae should be outed. I, however, may not have phrased it in a way that was appropriate or professional. I apologize for offending members and hurting the OP's feelings. We as a team will be working on not only being more professional when we have our admin hats on, but also in clarifying the tou."
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
Hey guys. We know we fucked up. And I take 100% responsiblity for my action upon the decision that was made. We were wrong. We based our actions over the weekend on past experience. If I didn't think we were wrong, and bibs didn't think we were wrong, and theo didn't think we were wrong, we wouldn't have made this poll.
We aren't clairvoyant. We cannot read minds. We can only base our actions on the TOU and Community Guidelines, and shape our policies and responses based on experience. And our experiences with recent private board requests, password changes, and a plethora of PMs inquiring about possible catfish shaped our decision to call out the AE vs. ban them vs. do nothing. The community has spoken. Quite loudly. We hear you. That is why we are working on amending our policies to address your concerns. We cannot change our past action. We can only do better moving forward.
However, I am done with the witch hunt after me. I am not the owner. I am one member in a multi-owner LLC. We make decisions collectively, and we take responsibility collectively. Do I happen to be the one who logs in and takes action most of the time? Yes. Because the reality is that both theo and bibs have babies, and I do not. When it comes to balancing households and work stuff, I'm the one who has the most flexibility to drop what I'm doing and handle things. My husband is an adult who understands why dinner's going to be a few minutes late, or why we need to run home to take care of something, or why it's going to be 'just a minute". Theo and Bibs don't have that luxuy right now. G and K don't understand that mommy has to pin an announcemnt or delete some random spam and that mommy will be right back. And God willing sometime next year I'll be the one deleting spam at 3AM and theo and bibs will be the ones handling a lot of the day to day action that's based upon our collective decisions. But for the past 22 months I've been the face of the admin team, the "bad guy" the "action-taker". Whatever you want to call it. And I've readily done that without question because the days are long but the years are short, and my business partners deserve every extra moment possible with their babies while they are still babies.
Theo and Bibs asked me to let them handle this situation, because they felt they were just as responsible as I was for the action that was taken. So moving forward, when Theo is wearing her admin hat, or when biblio is, I would ask that you all understand that it carries the same weight as a response that comes from me. Because theo has been with this site since the 2nd hour, and biblio has worked her ass off for the past year. We are a team, and we want to be treated as such.
So if you're going to blame one of us, blame all of us. If you're going to thank one of us, thank all of us. If one of us apologizes on behalf of the business, know that that apology speaks for all of us. I trust these two women with my life. Quite literally. If I didn't trust them to be able to speak on behalf of the owners of TCF, they wouldn't be my business partners.
But if you're going to send us wine, please send it individually.
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