Trying to figure out how/when to announce to extended family and friends. So far only our immediate families and closest local friends know.
My initial thought was to use our holiday card/newsletter. We would send it right before Christmas so would be at 14 weeks.
H's response was he feels that's too early. He said maybe not telling until baby arrives. He does have some Jewish superstition but is usually logical, so not sure yet about his reasoning except we're fairly private people. I'll be talking to him more this week to figure out what he's concerned about.
Post by teachermomtobe on Nov 29, 2016 10:06:23 GMT -5
Extended family found out at 11 weeks on Thanksgiving. I am announcing at work next week at 12 1/2 weeks. We will go on FB probably around 14 weeks. I have had some anxiety since so many people know now but I look up statistics on miscarriage and they are so low now that I try to tell my rational brain that telling doesn't cause a miscarriage.
We are 'announce to the world after the anatomy scan' people. I will tell family members or friends I see in person before that, but will ask them to keep it quiet until the anatomy scan.
We will announce to people as we see them after I'm out of first tri (so, basically after the new year). We probably won't announce the pregnancy on social media, just the birth.
We are 'announce to the world after the anatomy scan' people. I will tell family members or friends I see in person before that, but will ask them to keep it quiet until the anatomy scan.
Post by punkybrewster on Nov 29, 2016 12:13:14 GMT -5
We have pretty much told all of our friends and family already. Most of them last week at Thanksgiving. After my ultrasound tomorrow, I am going to tell work sometime in the next week, then announce on facebook shortly after that.
I am also feeling some anxiety that so many people know and it's still pretty early, but like teachermomtobe said, the chances of miscarriage at this stage are already low, so I am trying to stay positive.
Me (32), DH (32) TTC since Dec. 2014 Dx: severe MFI (azoospermia) Micro-TESE was successful. IVF planned for spring 2016.
IVF March 2016: 20R/16M/3F/13 Eggs Frozen - 0 embryos to transfer or freeze IVF with TESE #2 September 2016: 13R/9M/3F - 2 3dt, none to freeze BFP! 10/9/16. EDD 6/20/17. TWINS!
I should add: None of our families live in our city. Or state. So we won't see them to tell them in person. Same for many friends who live all over. Otherwise we would just tell people in person. I feel like it would be weird to send just a birth announcement? Or is that normal?
I should add: None of our families live in our city. Or state. So we won't see them to tell them in person. Same for many friends who live all over. Otherwise we would just tell people in person. I feel like it would be weird to send just a birth announcement? Or is that normal?
We also have a lot of friends and family who live out of state, and we called to let them know. It was really cool to hear their reactions, even if we couldn't see them in person. I basically want to scream this news from the rooftops, so there is no way I could keep it in until they were born.
Me (32), DH (32) TTC since Dec. 2014 Dx: severe MFI (azoospermia) Micro-TESE was successful. IVF planned for spring 2016.
IVF March 2016: 20R/16M/3F/13 Eggs Frozen - 0 embryos to transfer or freeze IVF with TESE #2 September 2016: 13R/9M/3F - 2 3dt, none to freeze BFP! 10/9/16. EDD 6/20/17. TWINS!
I should add: None of our families live in our city. Or state. So we won't see them to tell them in person. Same for many friends who live all over. Otherwise we would just tell people in person. I feel like it would be weird to send just a birth announcement? Or is that normal?
We also have a lot of friends and family who live out of state, and we called to let them know. It was really cool to hear their reactions, even if we couldn't see them in person. I basically want to scream this news from the rooftops, so there is no way I could keep it in until they were born.
Do you call them every now and then normally? We don't so it would be weird. And awkward? I might be overthinking it.
Family found out at Thanksgiving and work found out that week as well- so 13 weeks. We are slowly telling close friends, but will probably wait a bit longer to make it more widely known.
Our parents and siblings already know. I have my first appointment (other than my initial ultrasound) tomorrow, so we'll probably tell grandparents after that if we get a good heartbeat. Other than that, we have the NT ultrasound on Dec. 5th, so after that we'll probably give our parents the go-ahead to tell whoever they want. We live in a small town, so word gets around fast. It's what we did with DD and it worked pretty well for us.
All of DH's family knows because MIL asked us to spill. She needed to soften the blow that she was getting married again, and apparently two KU DIL qualifies.
I haven't told my side of the family except my siblings and parents. I feel bad that DH's family all knows, but I have no motivation to call or text people the news. I may just wait until Christmas. If I do then, I won't publicly announce on social media until then, as well.
Three people at work know because they called me out for not drinking at our last sales meeting. I haven't told my boss yet, though. We have our Christmas party on Saturday and I think I may still try to hide it from the rest of the group, and tell my boss when we work together again in January. He's kind of old school and I'll be the first on the team to ever be KU. So I'm not sure how he'll handle it.
We also have a lot of friends and family who live out of state, and we called to let them know. It was really cool to hear their reactions, even if we couldn't see them in person. I basically want to scream this news from the rooftops, so there is no way I could keep it in until they were born.
Do you call them every now and then normally? We don't so it would be weird. And awkward? I might be overthinking it.
That's a tough one. If you're not really close enough to talk to them every once and a while on the phone, I probably wouldn't call for a pregnancy announcement either. Word of mouth through closer family/friends or Facebook or even as part of a Christmas letter would probably work just fine. I have some cousins that we're on good terms with but just not very close with, and I wouldn't expect a call from them. Very immediate family that live out of state on the other hand should probably get a call unless there are family dynamics that would make it uncomfortable for you to do so. See, now I feel like I'm overthinking it.
We also have a lot of friends and family who live out of state, and we called to let them know. It was really cool to hear their reactions, even if we couldn't see them in person. I basically want to scream this news from the rooftops, so there is no way I could keep it in until they were born.
Do you call them every now and then normally? We don't so it would be weird. And awkward? I might be overthinking it.
Yes it was mostly people we call every so often so it wasn't weird at all. Pretty close friends and family. Some of them were also close family such as MH's mom and grandmother.
Me (32), DH (32) TTC since Dec. 2014 Dx: severe MFI (azoospermia) Micro-TESE was successful. IVF planned for spring 2016.
IVF March 2016: 20R/16M/3F/13 Eggs Frozen - 0 embryos to transfer or freeze IVF with TESE #2 September 2016: 13R/9M/3F - 2 3dt, none to freeze BFP! 10/9/16. EDD 6/20/17. TWINS!
We are 'announce to the world after the anatomy scan' people. I will tell family members or friends I see in person before that, but will ask them to keep it quiet until the anatomy scan.
+1
Actually, I don't even plan on putting it on FB. I'm sure eventually I'll spill the beans or people will figure it out but there are still people I'm friends with on FB that I don't care to share with quite yet.
We are getting dd Christmas pictures taken in a couple of weeks. She has a red Santa like skirt and a green shirt that says, "Only Child Expiring 2017". We'll probably put a picture on FB and let people figure it out.
Post by pinecone21 on Nov 29, 2016 16:00:15 GMT -5
marshian Are you planning on having a shower? You'll have to tell everyone before that, at least! All of my family is long distance, but they love to shop for babies, so we did an "online shower." It was a private group on Facebook. My sisters did some games with prizes. People mailed me gifts, and I posted photos as I received them. It lasted about 2 weeks. It was totally not traditional, but it ended up being really nice.
I already told my family and friends and coworkers. For a lot of them, we had DD wear a shirt that said, "Excellent daughters get promoted to big sisters." I'll probably go Facebook official once I'm in maternity clothes and have a cute bump.
We told immediate family, then gave them the go ahead to tell aunts and uncles when we were ready. We live in a close-knit rural area where news travels very quickly, so once extended family knows everyone in the community is close behind. No one in our family is a big Facebook person, so we don't have to be worried about being outed that way. I am not a Facebook announcement sort of person, with DS I added a picture of me when I was almost 8 months pregnant, and then a picture of me and DS when he was 2 weeks old. I didn't announce either event online, everyone important in our lives knew pretty much right away.
I was thinking about this more and just wanted to add that June is a long way away - I feel like the earlier I've told people in the past, the more they'll be thinking 'geez, you're still pregnant?' in like May. If you tell the world after the anatomy scan, you still have another 4+ months of pregnancy to go for them to be excited...and you have the added reassurance that baby has developed correctly. Just some perspective from having been down this road before
H and I talked tonight and decided as long as all is good from the NT scan, we'll give our parents the go-ahead to tell our extended family. I'm going to call my grandparents and we'll call a few close friends, but after that, we're good to go.
With every pregnancy- we've told our parents and they told grandparents, aunts/uncles, whoever they wanted. We would post a Facebook announcement shortly after telling them and extended family that we never see/talk to would find out.
However, we did this EXACT same method for this baby, and we got an angry/hateful call from MIL on Sunday after announcing on Facebook. She was apparently thinking we would tell her family on Christmas (which was NEVER discussed). We don't talk to her family or ever see them. So she got mad and told us "That's not how this family works!" and hung up. Haven't heard a peep since. This pregnancy is causing SO much drama.
violetrose - You can't seem to get a break! What is with people having these plans in their head that you're not privy to and expecting you to somehow follow along?
marshian- I think a lot of the problems we are having is that we live close to family now, so everyone is more willing to give opinions and such. We lived 3,000 miles away for 4 years and had our first two kids there. Everyone was too far away to visit, let alone bother us with expectations/opinions. DH and I are starting to wish we never moved closer to family because of the anxiety all of this is causing us (mostly me). I know it's better for our kids to see family, but I'm so sick of this crap.
violetrose - We're multiple states away from our families right now so we don't see them often which will cut down on the unsolicited advice. But we do call and Skype with them frequently and I'm expecting to hear a fair amount from my MIL because she doesn't hold back and I see how she is with my SIL and her son. This is the first on my side, so we'll see what happens!
I don't blame you being tired of it. Why is it with pregnancy and kids people think the rules of politeness and common courtesy go out the window?
Post by violetrose on Nov 30, 2016 13:04:55 GMT -5
marshian ugh I wish I knew why. I think what makes this all more annoying is that this is our third kid... I could maybe understand all of this if this was the first expectations weren't mad yet or whatever- but we've done this already and I don't know why the 3rd is causing all sorts of problems/drama. So ridiculous
I forgot to add: H didn't want to put our news in our holiday card or newsletter because he doesn't want to seem like we're asking for gifts. A noble reason. I commend him for it.
We will announce to people as we see them after I'm out of first tri (so, basically after the new year). We probably won't announce the pregnancy on social media, just the birth.
Post by teachermomtobe on Nov 30, 2016 20:42:54 GMT -5
One of the reasons I plan to announce on FB is because I also now plan to be "out" about IF. Family and close friends know but I feel like part of my purpose for dealing with IF was to educate others. I didn't feel comfortable doing that when I was in the throws of it but want to acknowlege its role in our life and provide education and support for others. I do also know that a FB announcement will hurt those suffering from IF like it did for me so that part of me is torn.
One of the reasons I plan to announce on FB is because I also now plan to be "out" about IF. Family and close friends know but I feel like part of my purpose for dealing with IF was to educate others. I didn't feel comfortable doing that when I was in the throws of it but want to acknowlege its role in our life and provide education and support for others. I do also know that a FB announcement will hurt those suffering from IF like it did for me so that part of me is torn.
This is why we wanted to do a couple of IF pics for our announcement. I have been very open on Facebook and we wanted to make sure our announcement included the IF stuff as part of the journey. I also wanted to make sure no one thought that this was just a "see you just needed to be patient and wait" baby. But alas, my in-laws still asked and were super disappointed we went for science and not just relied on prayers :/
One of the reasons I plan to announce on FB is because I also now plan to be "out" about IF. Family and close friends know but I feel like part of my purpose for dealing with IF was to educate others. I didn't feel comfortable doing that when I was in the throws of it but want to acknowlege its role in our life and provide education and support for others. I do also know that a FB announcement will hurt those suffering from IF like it did for me so that part of me is torn.
This is why we wanted to do a couple of IF pics for our announcement. I have been very open on Facebook and we wanted to make sure our announcement included the IF stuff as part of the journey. I also wanted to make sure no one thought that this was just a "see you just needed to be patient and wait" baby. But alas, my in-laws still asked and were super disappointed we went for science and not just relied on prayers :/
Our story is nothing like your ladies stories, but we were told we wouldn't have kids without IVF. We tried for 2 years and finally decided to go through with IVF. The day before my shots class, I had to take a pregnancy test with our dr and it was positive. Our parents now say things like, "See! Doctors don't know what they are talking about. All you need is prayer." It still pisses me off SO much. I'm sorry your in-laws say those things to you too.
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