That is basically my story. Everyone just keeps saying "calm down, everything looks perfect and you are normal". Like there is no hand holding and no understanding that it took us 3 years, failed fertility treatments, all our money, and donor embryos to have this little one. Everything is not "normal".
I can't even imagine! Of course you will have some anxiety which is completely normal. Do you try yoga or anything like that? I'm considering trying a yoga DVD or something like it.
cateyes - I can't imagine what you're going through with IF but I second yoga and also meditation. Anxiety is difficult for people to understand. Mine manifests as not being able to take a deep enough breath and if it gets worse becomes my heart racing and phantom chest pains and me thinking I'm having a heart attack and it spirals. My H knew it was anxiety long before I got there. Because it starts with my breathing, I've worked on breathing exercises and they do help. I hope you can find what works for you.
That is basically my story. Everyone just keeps saying "calm down, everything looks perfect and you are normal". Like there is no hand holding and no understanding that it took us 3 years, failed fertility treatments, all our money, and donor embryos to have this little one. Everything is not "normal".
I can't even imagine! Of course you will have some anxiety which is completely normal. Do you try yoga or anything like that? I'm considering trying a yoga DVD or something like it.
Now that I have more energy and am feeling better, I may start something like that. So far I have just been depending on my husband's awesome reassurance and calming ability.
violetrose, I would classify myself as higher than normal anxiety. Mainly because there have been heart defects in two of our three previous pregnancies. I just keep reminding myself, though, that if there is something wrong there is absolutely nothing I can do about it at this point. It seems to help me to internally repeat that mantra.
I will start to relax after the anatomy scan. If there is a fatal/incompatible with life heart defect it should be discovered then.
Post by violetrose on Dec 15, 2016 14:11:14 GMT -5
Thanks ladies. I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with anxiety but I wish you weren't dealing with it at the same time! I'm hoping a lot of my anxiety will calm down after the holidays. Life is so crazy and we are always busy. We are eating take out quite frequently because of how busy we are and money is tight because of events/presents to buy. I'm getting excited for December to be over so we can focus on our family more and hopefully not be stressed about money/food/traveling/family.
violetrosecateyes hugs. anxiety is so hard and people who haven't experienced it really don't understand it. i've struggled with it on and off a lot as an adult, and while pregnancy (so far) hasn't exacerbated it, postpartum i was in a really bad place - it makes sense to me that hormones could make it worse. hope you are both feeling better soon.
marshian what you described with the racing hard/shortness of breath is how i was used to seeing it, but postpartum it was different so i didn't recognize it.
agm04 - I'm nervous about it getting worse post-partum. If it's different I worry it will be hard for me to recognize. Thankfully my H and my family will be watching out for me. PPD and PPA sound tough.
violetrosecateyes hugs. anxiety is so hard and people who haven't experienced it really don't understand it. i've struggled with it on and off a lot as an adult, and while pregnancy (so far) hasn't exacerbated it, postpartum i was in a really bad place - it makes sense to me that hormones could make it worse. hope you are both feeling better soon.
marshian what you described with the racing hard/shortness of breath is how i was used to seeing it, but postpartum it was different so i didn't recognize it.
Pregnancy and post partum anxiety are the worst. After my third child, I had really bad PPA. I encourage everyone (myself included since I can feel it creeping back up this pregnancy) to find a way to manage it or seek treatment 😘 Hugs.
It isn't crazy snowing here (although doesn't seem to be as bad as predicted) and we are enjoying Papa Murphy's Pizza and homemade chocolate chip cookies with milk. Winning at Adulting
agm04 - I'm nervous about it getting worse post-partum. If it's different I worry it will be hard for me to recognize. Thankfully my H and my family will be watching out for me. PPD and PPA sound tough.
I remember last time, it was such a bizarre feeling for me. It had to have been a week or 2 after DS was born, I could literally feel a wave of hormones in my body, maybe leveling off? I just remember thinking I just needed to cry. I went upstairs, took a hot shower, sitting down, just trying to process. I swear it was an hour of just sitting there, breathing in and out. I realized when I felt the crazy hormones it was important for me to have that time if I could.
PP hormones are no joke. I think it's great you have people looking out. I think the more aware you are, the more likely you'll realize what's normal and how to deal.
ETA/ not trying to make anyone nervous. Just saying that it's good to be aware ahead of time. I was caught off guard. And that the hormone changes were something that I couldn't control. I always tried to explain to DH what I felt and not just internalize.
Post by starsandshamrocks123 on Dec 17, 2016 11:38:45 GMT -5
Going out to dinner tonight with friends! Going to a burger bar so I'm really hoping I have my burger appetite ready. Kills me to order well done but I can't handle too pink right now. And I want fried pickles so bad I don't care if the others don't want to order them. I shall eat them all myself.
Sadly, I'm obsessed with pickles all the time. It's not even a pregnancy thing for me.
Going out to dinner tonight with friends! Going to a burger bar so I'm really hoping I have my burger appetite ready. Kills me to order well done but I can't handle too pink right now. And I want fried pickles so bad I don't care if the others don't want to order them. I shall eat them all myself.
Sadly, I'm obsessed with pickles all the time. It's not even a pregnancy thing for me.
teachermomtobe - Good for you! I bet there are other women you know going through IF who appreciate you acknowledging it.
I was nervous how a friend (not super close friend) would react because we had messaged back and forth months ago because she was also dealing with IF. She messaged me that she is also pregnant but only 5 weeks along. I was so happy that my announcement didn't upset her.
Perks of working on a postpartum floor that takes antepartums as well? We have a doppler on the floor that I got to use to hear the little one's heartbeat tonight.
marshian, I had PPD with my dd. I was high risk for it and ended up with PPD. I didn't really see at as depression though, because I was SO ANGRY. I screamed at my husband every chance I got. Usually, over something really stupid and I acted like it was the end of the world. It wasn't until I went back to work I realized how much I was really struggling. In retrospect I wished I would've called my doctor sooner, but I didn't think I was depressed. Once I started on Zoloft, everything was 100% better. All this to say it's a very real thing that happens, but if it does everything will be ok.
This is unrelated to the prior randoms - but does anyone else get excited when a new birth month board is posted? September is up now. It makes me happy to feel further along
I was thinking of you because my BIL watched DS on sat night for the first time ever and he was upset I didn't leave him a list. I was like, he's 2.5, he tells you what you need to do!
@starsandshamrocks - It was great! He's a happy baby which helps, and apparently he's opposite of most in that his witching hour is in the morning and he's happiest in the afternoon/early evening which is when we were there.
I think just emailing the list helped them because when we got there they just pointed out where key stuff is (milk, diapers, blankets), told us his last feeding time, and left us to it.
It was really great for H. He's now experienced multiple babies at different ages between 6 weeks and 2.5 years and he's recognizing how personalities come into play and also the (many) different ways to parent. He still feels they're not "fun" until about 1.5, but he said he'll appreciate each stage and the new things they do as it comes.
Post by starsandshamrocks123 on Dec 19, 2016 15:53:11 GMT -5
Is this where I admit that I had only babysat once ever before DS was born. And it was my niece and nephew and didn't even change their diaper. My first diaper change was day 3 (due to c-section immobility). I was the youngest in my family. My sister always took the babysitting jobs when we were little.
DH on the other hand babysat his neighbors 3 kids alllll the time growing up!
This is unrelated to the prior randoms - but does anyone else get excited when a new birth month board is posted? September is up now. It makes me happy to feel further along
I was trying to come here and I ended up on June '16. There were several threads I didn't recognize and one was about sleep training. I was like, sleep training discuss already, nooooo!!!!
marshian i used to think they weren't fun until about that age. i bet your DH will be head over heels by month 3.
so we had a high of about 80 on saturday. sunday we woke up to the 30s...and discovered our heater wasn't working. it was still in the 60s in the house, so we weren't too concerned and just bundled up. called a repair man, but it was sunday and we didn't hear back. rookie mistake! poor DD's room was 56 (according to the baby monitor) monday morning. i felt like the worst mom! so turns out we need a new furnace (merry christmas to us!) but they didn't have enough people to do it yesterday. we have a radiator style portable heater that we put in dd's room last night, and DH and i just bundled up and used extra blankets, but it is COLD! this morning DD's monitor says it's 74 in her room and DH and i wanted to go sleep on her floor. lol.
should be fixed today, and i'm so grateful that we have the means to fix it and stay warm, and it's not ruining our christmas.
agm04 - Oh no! Worst time for your furnace to crap out. Are they coming today? Ours is an A/C-furnace combo and it died this summer right when we hit an insane heat wave and already had a planned dinner party. It was 89 in our condo at one point. Hope yours is replaced ASAP!
agm04 - Oh no! Worst time for your furnace to crap out. Are they coming today? Ours is an A/C-furnace combo and it died this summer right when we hit an insane heat wave and already had a planned dinner party. It was 89 in our condo at one point. Hope yours is replaced ASAP!
Just saw you said they're coming today - woohoo! I'm blaming pregnancy brain.
I had a baby dream last night. I've had them even before getting pregnant and I've had weird/intense dreams my entire life, so this isn't a new thing, but it was just odd. H and I were home from the hospital so it was around Day 2 or 3 of new baby. But we had to go for baby's first check-up and decided to take public transit (why?). But we had missed some big event while at the hospital and there was a parade and we couldn't get to the train stop. H decided to just cut across the parade route but I was carrying the baby and there was no way I'd make it without being run over (think Frogger). We somehow ended up in a car with me driving and baby on my lap (why?!). Then I saw cops for the parade and was telling H to strap baby into the car seat so we wouldn't get in trouble.
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.