cateyes Wow, that's crazy. I've heard of new parents having an open house to introduce the baby, but it's in their own house with their own guest list, and they decide when to kick everyone out. Hard no to the kind of event your MIL wants.
This is what I've heard of as far as "meet the baby" type events.
I would not be driving anywhere for 4 hours with a newborn. You'll be recovering and figuring out feeding and need to stop often for feeding, changing, soothing, etc. I'm also in the "don't expose a newborn to a million people" club.
Random rave - I'm in dry Santa Fe, New Mexico for work and brought the tiny portable humidifier I asked for at Christmas and it was awesome. I feel so much better ham I normally do in dry climates.
Re: meet the baby parties, I threw a 'sip and see' for a friend's second baby last year. It was mainly because she had her first at 32 weeks, the day of her planned shower, and so she was superstitious about having something pre-baby. It was 30 minutes from her house, in the town where we grew up, and there were only 10 of us there - all close friends and relatives. So I don't think she was too concerned about a lot of people passing baby around. The baby was about six weeks at the time. ITA with previous posters that you shouldn't have to drive forever to have one of these, and I also think it worked better with a second baby because she had a better handle on BFing and whatnot.
They hired a new supervisor for the teller side at work. He's an idiot and knows nothing about being a teller let alone their supervisor. Come to find out, he's been a teller for 2 months. TWO EFFING MONTHS. There is a policy that you are suppose to be in your job for a year before being eligible for promotion, but of course their are ways around that. He's nice, but he was nowhere near ready for this job. Plus the manager is like, "guys you have to cut him some slack, he's only been a teller for 2 months". No we don't, because based on that reasoning he shouldn't be a supervisor. Ugh!
That's frustrating! Many a years ago, the coffee shop I worked at hired someone with managerial experience but no coffee experience and it was rough. Lots of resentment among employees. I hope he's a quick learner for y'all 😬
Tl;dr, my MIL wants to help out when DH is away but is unreliable and unwilling to commit unless it's a day ahead of time and now she will prob not talk to us for a month
ugh, If you can't help on the parents terms, you can't help, but don't shut your grandkids out because of it. I hear too many stories like this and just hope that I'm not like that as a grandma or mother in law.
My mom offered to host a baby shower for us which I very much appreciate. When she hosted my bridal shower we did it in CT where I am from because that is also where we were getting married and at that point in my life most of the people attending could travel there easiest. Now, I wanted the shower in MA (3 hours away) because that is where most of my friends are that I would invite and some family has moved up this way too. My mom is now considering hosting 2 showers so she can still invite some of her friends in CT who may not want to travel to MA. I think that is completely unnecessary and I don't particularly care if her friends are there or not. I know she is excited but it just feels unnecessary. I'm sure this comes across whiny and I'm very grateful she is hosting a shower for us, I just don't want 2 for no reason.
I've heard of grandma showers, can she host a party for herself and friends in MA? Or is that too gift grabby?
My Rant-MIL stated she would like to host a "shower" for us but not until after the baby is born and really just more of an open house with desserts and everyone can pop in to meet baby. So basically she is asking us to drive 4+ hours (without stops) with a newborn, expose said newborn to every cousin, aunt, child, etc who she invites, and stay all day entertaining people.
I know this may seem bitchy that we don't want very many people in contact with our child for the first few months but after what it took us to get here, yep we are way over protective. Plus, we have never had a newborn and I am guessing we will be exhausted or likely just not wanting to be away from home for 2-3 days.
Hard pass on a "sip and see" (what I've heard that type of shower called). I'm on my 5th and I'm still not comfortable passing a small new baby around like that. We may attempt a 13 hour drive with a 4-6 weeks old, but that's on our own accord, not a demand on someone else's part.
cateyes another vote for thanks but no thanks on a sip and see. my mom's friends do those often, and she was desperate to have one for me at her house...4-5 hours away from home. to my mom's credit, she said at the last one she hosted, no one else held the baby and the mom slipped into my parents' room to nurse the baby for 45 mins (which was fine in her eyes).
i probably come across as an inflexible bitch often, but when it comes to things like my child's health and well-being, i am completely unapologetic about it. DNW a bunch of people holding and breathing on my brand new baby when i'm still getting to know her. kind of like when people think it's no big deal for DD to skip a nap to work around their schedule. no, that is not good for my kid, and it's not happening.
i get that people just don't see it this way and are trying to be nice. and what sdlaura described is different to me (although i wouldn't be up for that with a newborn either, personally, but i am difficult). but specifically parents' friends who are pretty far removed from what it's like to be a mom to a newborn, it just feels uncomfortable to me.
Tl;dr, my MIL wants to help out when DH is away but is unreliable and unwilling to commit unless it's a day ahead of time and now she will prob not talk to us for a month
ugh, If you can't help on the parents terms, you can't help, but don't shut your grandkids out because of it. I hear too many stories like this and just hope that I'm not like that as a grandma or mother in law.
She actually texted me back today which days would work so I picked one that was better for me (dr appt) but she copied DH on the text. Weird.
Apparently she was upset that DH yelled at her. I felt bad too. In my family we avoid confrontation but he swears that that's how they deal with things in theirs. I would never had yelled at her to her face. Anyway, I guess she vented to her boyfriend and he told her she was in the wrong. Maybe that helped but I'm guessing she will bring it up when she's her in a few weeks. If she actually sticks to her commitment.
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