Post by sandandsea on Jan 26, 2017 13:39:42 GMT -5
For me, I'm surprised most by how easy #2 is. Yes it's more work to have two than one, but it's definitely not twice as hard. I think it's because ds1 was a much harder baby than ds2 so we had harder expectations.
Post by greysonsmom on Jan 26, 2017 16:17:00 GMT -5
I'm also surprised at how much easier it is than I expected with a second. When DS was a baby I felt so stressed and felt like I couldn't manage to leave the house. I thought two would be impossible. I feel so much more confident this time around and yes there are some difficulties running errands with two but I'm certainly more productive than I was with just one.
I'm with freckles, I'm surprised at how my life has pretty much stayed the same. Maybe that means I lived a pretty boring life before :-) Everyone kept saying "just wait, things are so different." So far it hasn't been all that different though.
Post by sandandsea on Jan 26, 2017 18:28:49 GMT -5
I would have totally said life changes big time with kids. . None to one was much harder than one to two. Before kids we could eat whenever/whatever, stay late at work often, discuss or do important grown up things as desired or needed, be on any kind of schedule we wanted, sleep, make up sleep from a late night, watch movies, travel way more easily and save way more money (daycare, insurance, stuff, 529s add up quickly)! Doing those with kids is hard or you all are just better at it than us!
Post by frecklesnbrains on Jan 26, 2017 18:50:51 GMT -5
sandandsea lol, well clearly I'm more boring than you. We always had a routine and never did too much before having a baby (except travel, hike, camp... which we've kept doing).
I am surprised by how chill I am compared to DH. In all other aspects of our life he is the low-key, laid back one, but with DD he is so not! He is always so worried about her and I'm the one telling him xyz is totally normal/fine. Don't get me wrong, I worry, but more big picture stuff.
Also something that was a huge adjustment was tv. We were huge Netflix bingers and now we can barely watch one show before one of us is falling asleep! I guess less tv is not a bad thing, but I am so behind on all my shows!
I'm impressed with you ladies who's lived didn't change. It was a huge adjustment for us going from zero to one. Our lives haven't changed much from 1-2.
I'm surprised with my husband. He has really stepped up as a dad. He had a hard time becoming a dad and it took a long time for him to connect with ds1, but with #2 he is baby talking, playing on the floor, cuddling and being a great dad. I'm happily surprised. I'm also surprised with how my stomach is Not bouncing back like it did the first time.
Post by packerfan4life on Jan 26, 2017 22:08:52 GMT -5
Going from 1 to 2 was actually a lot harder for us. Which is interesting because DD1 was a challenging baby whereas DD2 is pretty easy. I think part of the shock is how much less helpful H is this time. Thanks to BFing he really struggled making a connection with DD2 and is just now starting to play and interact with her more. He easily did at least half if not more of night feeds and help with DD1.
I was (pleasantly) surprised with how helpful DH was/is with the kids, especially MOTN. Everyone told me how mad they'd get at their spouse for not pulling their weight, so I was prepared for the worst. But he is amazing. Every MOTN feeding during the NB stage he was up right with me feeding a baby. Even now he'll run downstairs to make a bottle while I try to shush a crying baby so that I don't have to wake them up any further. I'm very thankful (even though he does still get on my nerves).
I was (pleasantly) surprised with how helpful DH was/is with the kids, especially MOTN. Everyone told me how mad they'd get at their spouse for not pulling their weight, so I was prepared for the worst. But he is amazing. Every MOTN feeding during the NB stage he was up right with me feeding a baby. Even now he'll run downstairs to make a bottle while I try to shush a crying baby so that I don't have to wake them up any further. I'm very thankful (even though he does still get on my nerves).
I was (pleasantly) surprised with how helpful DH was/is with the kids, especially MOTN. Everyone told me how mad they'd get at their spouse for not pulling their weight, so I was prepared for the worst. But he is amazing. Every MOTN feeding during the NB stage he was up right with me feeding a baby. Even now he'll run downstairs to make a bottle while I try to shush a crying baby so that I don't have to wake them up any further. I'm very thankful (even though he does still get on my nerves).
Going from 1 to 2 was actually a lot harder for us. Which is interesting because DD1 was a challenging baby whereas DD2 is pretty easy. I think part of the shock is how much less helpful H is this time. Thanks to BFing he really struggled making a connection with DD2 and is just now starting to play and interact with her more. He easily did at least half if not more of night feeds and help with DD1.
This is us too. But I don't know if it's because H is less helpful, because he really stepped up to take care of DS1 when I couldn't. I'm glad he is finally making a connection with DS2. But omg are the mornings rough. That shit is hard. Getting 2 adults a, a defiant toddler, and a baby ready and out of the house is almost downright impossible.
Post by ArgyleEnigma on Jan 28, 2017 0:25:35 GMT -5
Hmm. I guess that love creeps. I thought maybe when DS was born, I would feel like my heart exploded. But it wasn't lightning, it was a mist coming in. I still feel like I love DS more every day.
I am also pleasantly surprised by how much he loves books. He pulls his favorites off the shelves and demands to be read to, is so absorbed by them, and now he turns the pages (board books). I would never have guessed a baby this young could be into books.
I'm surprised I don't miss my old life more. It isn't like I don't ever miss the freedom... I just don't feel that bad about it. I like this life.
I'm surprised at how much more DH is a baby person than me. I am so, so glad we have opposite schedules and can trade off child care. I think I'd be ready to kill him if he still had the "mom is default parent" attitude that he had the first four months before I went back to work. It's been really good for DH to take on so much time with DS.
Hmm. I guess that love creeps. I thought maybe when DS was born, I would feel like my heart exploded. But it wasn't lightning, it was a mist coming in. I still feel like I love DS more every day.
I am also pleasantly surprised by how much he loves books. He pulls his favorites off the shelves and demands to be read to, is so absorbed by them, and now he turns the pages (board books). I would never have guessed a baby this young could be into books.
Well - the initial transition from 1-2 was not easy at all.
But 7 months in it is actually almost to that, what was life like before P? point that everyone talks about.
Agree with how easy to love another baby.
I think....I was surprised at how traumatic pregnancy and birth ended up being for me. I always kind of side eyed those statements that I'd hear (And I realize I could have had it much worse). But it took me a long time to get over it. Just for new years actually I decided to put it away.
I'm surprised by the mellow temperament of DD and how much easier she's been than DS was when he was a baby. It's nice when the baby doesn't cry 24/7! With that being said, I'm actually most surprised that I don't feel a stronger baby fever to try to have 1 more. My baby fever felt all consuming after having DS, even with how difficult he was, but I'm not really feeling as strong of an urge to have another kid as I thought I would. I feel content most days.
I haven't read everyone else's responses yet, but I am surprised how HARD it has been. DS1 was so easy-really our lives and schedules didn't change much at all. DD has been so much harder, our lives have drastically changed. However, my love has definitely multiplied and amazing how much I can love another child. Also, I've been surprised how they are opposite in every way.
Wow, it was interesting reading all of y'alls responses! My experience has been so different. I think the temperament of the baby shapes experiences so much. When we had DS, we were all, "sheesh, having a baby is easy, we should have another!" However, after 6-7 months of constant screaming with DD, it's been so much harder than I ever thought. I was SO laid back with DS, never planned anything around him, was always, "eh, he'll be fine" about everything. I feel like I've been more uptight with DD because I've slowly lost my mind with all of her screaming.
But we are finally in a sweet spot. She is happy and doing great most days!
I'm glad you guys have finally reached a sweet spot txmommy14!! I know it's been a rough road! It truly is amazing how vastly different babies can be and definitely something I try to keep in mind when talking to other moms.
Hmm. I guess that love creeps. I thought maybe when DS was born, I would feel like my heart exploded. But it wasn't lightning, it was a mist coming in. I still feel like I love DS more every day.
I am also pleasantly surprised by how much he loves books. He pulls his favorites off the shelves and demands to be read to, is so absorbed by them, and now he turns the pages (board books). I would never have guessed a baby this young could be into books.
+A million! This is soooo eloquently put!
I remember her being put on my chest and just looking at her and then looking at DH for some kind of reaction from him. I knew this was the baby I had loved since September 28th but it was very anticlimactic for me.
That being said, I realize now that I had PPA from basically the second she was out so maybe that had something to do with it.
carolinaheart, I had kind of a similar reaction when they put DD on my chest. DH was crying and I remember thinking "oh this is a baby." as if I was expecting something different.
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