February check in

[butlerfan]

Let's hear some updates!

[butlerfan]

So we have some updates this month/last month.....we had been providing respite care for A and J over 3 out of 4 weeks in January-well it turned into last weekend started on Thursday and would be for at least 2 weeks if not longer and it would be becoming a placement for us at some point soon. Well that day was yesterday so we now have A who is almost 4 and J who is a little over 2. So life has been very chaotic for us and trying to get everything figured out. Lots of e-mails, texts, and phone calls happening...

[lbey]

How exciting butlerfan! Congratulations!

Today is my birthday! No plans besides going to visit a friend in hospital (she just had her baby a little too early)
We also learned that the girl we were looking at may not be a good match for our family. Will see. I have not lost all my hope yet.
My DD has just changed medication and everything is going great with her! We might look at having her spend more time in mainstream classroom!

[ceejay]

butlerfan - so happy for you guys! Hope everything continues to go well as J and A get settled.

lbey - happy birthday! I'm glad things are going well with your daughter.

@coffeeismylyfe - I'm glad things are moving along for you guys, even if they are moving SLOWLY. Hopefully you'll hear something soon from the licensing worker!

[ceejay]

We are doing okay. We had a permanency hearing last week and had hoped for a goal change for our foster sons, but our caseworker hadn't filled out the correct paperwork or brought an updated permanency plan, so nothing could be decided or changed. It was extremely frustrating. We've had a lot of problems with this caseworker, and this whole court situation was kind of the last straw for us. We've been communicating with the supervisor and director at our agency with our many concerns, and we've been told we can have our old (wonderful) caseworker back on our case. So FX that happens soon. We have another permanency hearing scheduled for March.

We're also still waiting on the birth of our foster sons' baby brother. We will find out if he will enter foster care and be placed with us (or not) after he is born. It should be very soon, though I feel like I've been told that for months now...!

[butlerfan]

Feb 1, 2017 11:49:29 GMT -5 lbey said:

How exciting butlerfan! Congratulations!

Today is my birthday! No plans besides going to visit a friend in hospital (she just had her baby a little too early)
We also learned that the girl we were looking at may not be a good match for our family. Will see. I have not lost all my hope yet.
My DD has just changed medication and everything is going great with her! We might look at having her spend more time in mainstream classroom!

Happy birthday!

[kj1013]

Late Tuesday night we took in a 1.5 yo boy and a 3mo baby girl.
In my opinion it couldn't be going much better they are sleeping really well.
They were an emergency removal so we don't know much about their situation but mom has had right terminated on other children in the past so we will see where the road leads.

[ceejay]

Feb 2, 2017 11:26:17 GMT -5 kj1013 said:

Late Tuesday night we took in a 1.5 yo boy and a 3mo baby girl.
In my opinion it couldn't be going much better they are sleeping really well.
They were an emergency removal so we don't know much about their situation but mom has had right terminated on other children in the past so we will see where the road leads.

Congrats on your new placement! I'm glad everything is going well so far. 

[redandblue]

kj1013, well that's a whirl wind placement! I hope you get more information soon and that everyone continues to settle well. But don't be alarmed if that changes as they are settling as well. GL!

lbey, happy birthday! Glad to hear that things are going well for your DD. GL with exploring expanding your family.

butlerfan, that's great that your respite placements have turned into a more permanent placement! GL as you settle into life with your new little ones

@coffeeismylyfe, Glad to hear that things are moving along. Sorry it's going slowly though. It is a slow moving system, that's for sure.

ceejay, ugh about your case worker. I hate hearing those kinds of stories. It is ridiculous the amount of incompetence surrounding our most vulnerable population. I heard recently that in our province they are going to be making more mandatory 'licenses' that social workers will need to keep current and pass some regular testing in order to stay in their position. I think it is so needed. Those who do their jobs well, won't need to worry, and it will weed out those who just make things worse for these vulnerable children and families.

[redandblue]

So January has been quite the month overall for us. DS2 has two bio-brothers that are adopted by the same family (they live about 8 hours away from us now). Their mother passed away suddenly, and my heart breaks everyday for those boys. Their dad seems to be surrounded by lots of support, but I can't help but think of how they have lost both of their mothers, and how that will impact them as they grow. So much sadness for part of our 'orchard'.

The other side of news is that we have decided to move and will be building a new home. We will be moving to a small community, with approximately 30 minute commute to work. That also means that we will be moving out of our current CAS region, so if we want to explore adopting again we will need to go through a different CAS, so not sure of those complications. I am super busy with work for the next few months, so if anything we might have a conversation with our SW from DS2's adoption to let her know of our move, and then let her explain what we may or not be able to do in order to be considered again.

So lots happening. Good thing for wine!

[lvlyldybmp]

Do I just jump on in? DH and I had our orientation on Tuesday, and are getting finger printed before attending our 1st PRIDE class tomorrow evening. We are looking to adopt kids already available so the foster license is a requirement. I think the only fostering we would do is sibling groups that are already TPR, and respite care for other families.
So many feels right now. I already feel like the state needs to take me to dinner for as much as they're up my a**... and I know it will just get worse lol!
Congrats and fx kj1013

[wesleycrusher]

We were supposed to have out goal change hearing tomorrow, but it has been pushed to Friday due to the weather.

The only issue is that it was set up so the parents were available by phone for Thursday, and if the court can't get them on the phone Friday then we will have to wait until the next hearing. FX they are available so we can move forward.

[kj1013]

Are you in Texas lvlyldybmp?

[shandorfml2]

Hey everyone
Were still around. We've been applying for become foster/adoptive parents since July. We've had our home study and are done with our class. Just waiting for the fire inspection (taking forever she never returns my calls and doesn't schedule ahead of time), and one last reference who is sending it out today. We are not in a rush, since I am pregnant, but would like to have everything finalized before this baby is born so if the perfect placement comes along we can move forward.
GL everyone who is waiting on the court system. So difficult! Congrats to those with new placements

[wesleycrusher]

DD

[akafred]

wesleycrusher, you have all my sympathy. I would like to express shock and say something like "that's insane" but I am simply not surprised. This kind of stuff is why we quick fostering after finalization. I remember in training the social worker saying something like 75% of foster parents quit after their first adoption is finalized and I was bothered by the stat. They made it seem like FPs weren't really committed to the kids and just wanted their baby and be done but we became part of that statistic because we just couldn't deal with the system anymore.

[ceejay]

wesleycrusher - I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that and will have to go through it all again in a few months. The system is so broken and as horrible as your situation is, I feel like this kind of thing probably happens all the time. We just had something similar happen at our last court date where our caseworker didn't fill out the permanency report for a permanency hearing and also just decided he didn't want to do the legal screening that the judge had told him to do at the last court date. So nothing could be decided and we have court again next month.


akafred - we have similar thoughts about whether or not we want to continue foster care after this case. We went into fostering wanting to help kids and never anticipated just how frustrating and unfair and exhausting the system would be.

[butlerfan]

wesleycrusher....ugh that just sucks no other way to say it.

[oneslybookworm]

Ugh, wesleycrusher, that sucks so bad! I'm sorry!

So, still matched and still waiting! Anatomy scan finally happened, and it's a baby girl!! Everything looks good and she looks healthy, though on the small side. We've been building a relationship with the expecting mother and I just love her so much. I truly want what's best for her, and she seems very committed to the adoption plan. She's asked that I be in the delivery room with her, which I agreed to, but also told her that if she changes her mind it's totally ok.

[spooko]

wesleycrusher, I'm so sorry and, like Fred, wish I could express shock and surprise. As it is, I guess the silver lining is that at least the case didn't get dropped entirely! That actually did happen in my niece's case and it was terrifying and awful and a mess that I literally can't even put into words. All because the SW didn't file the paperwork to renew the permanency plan. The case was literally about one court date before TPR would have been filed and it was just DONE. Return kid to BPs. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

I've never been through a rollercoaster like dealing with the foster system. It's beyond belief and I'm sorry you're stuck in it right now.

[daffodilsandcoffee]

We've hit a snag with my nephew. It's an interstate case, and apparently he's not federally eligible for assistance so the sending state is saying he won't come with Medicaid, and our insurance won't let him go on our plan until adoption is finalized. Our social worker is trying to talk with our state's ICPC team to see if there is anything that can be done. The sending state is wanting to move him to us as soon as possible, but TPR hasnt even been started yet (but the first hearing has been scheduled) and I know my sibling will appeal. They have suggested a legal guardianship instead which would give him insurance immediately, but my husband and I are really not wanting to go that route, especially since the current FPs are willing to adopt.

[lvlyldybmp]

wesleycrusher, I am brand spanking new but that is beyond ridiculous! I can't believe they felt confident speaking in front of the judge...
kj1013, I'm in Michigan

[wesleycrusher]

removed

[ceejay]

wesleycrusher - I'm so sorry you have had to deal with all of this. I hope your caseworker finally gets everything in order so your next court date isn't such a mess.

[ceejay]

We have an update! We found out officially today that our foster sons' baby brother would enter foster care and be placed with us. 4 hours later he arrived at our house! He is so sweet, and we are enjoying getting to know him. Hopefully we'll all be able to get some sleep tonight..!

[butlerfan]

wesleycrusher.....wow what a pain and headache and so unnecessary.


ceejay....I'll say it here as well....so exciting and happy for this update!

[lvlyldybmp]

Am I the only one or did these classes freak anyone else out?
Yes I'm still excited, but it's hard not to read the scary stories on the interwebs!

[pinkie]

ceejay - that's awesome news! How is the little guy settling in and how are your other two handling it?

Do you think this development will help move the adoption of the older kids along?

[pinkie]

I'll check in - nothing adoption related

Older son is about to turn 4 in less than 2 weeks. He is such a smart, insanely strong willed, fiercely loving but also fiercely challenging child. He challenges us constantly but also is just so crazy smart and perceptive. He had a big personality and wants to be the center of attention, he also totally exhausts me

Our baby (he's 2 but he's still my baby) is so opposite. He is so much more easy going, likes to chill, loves to plant himself on my lap and not move. He has his tantrums and ridiculous toddler behavior. He is talking so much more and is becoming more silly. He just has such a more reserved personality and never wants to be the center of attention .

The kids really love each other - it's cute to watch. They also fight (a lot) but we love watching the bond forming

[ceejay]

Feb 17, 2017 13:57:49 GMT -5 pinkie said:

ceejay - that's awesome news! How is the little guy settling in and how are your other two handling it?

Do you think this development will help move the adoption of the older kids along?

He's doing good so far! The older boys have been pretty good too; they aren't quite sure what to make of him yet!

Not sure yet how this all will effect the bio parents effort. It's treated as a totally separate case. It is looking likely that we might get a goal change for our older two foster sons at court next month, but the baby's case is basically a blank slate for them, and they will have another year or more to make progress on a new service plan.