Intro/Unsuccessful Breastfeeding

[dancerspose]

Hi ladies. I thought I'd swing by here to see if you all had any wisdom to offer.

A little background, after a three year battle with IF we welcomed our baby girl 4 weeks early on 1/20. At 6lbs 2oz she's a little thing, but not alarmingly so. She's perfectly fine, was just in a hurry to get here. We basically haven't successfully breastfed since she was born. I have an appointment with a lactation consultant but I could get one until next week (Tuesday) with the one I want to see so we're stuck in limbo.

A rundown of our breastfeeding struggle - in the hospital we couldn't really get her to latch. I pretty much exclusively hand expressed and we syringe fed. We did a little supplemental formula because of some blood sugar concerns. The LC in the hospital gave me a nipple shield to use and we seemed to have better luck with that. When we got home and my milk started to come in she seemed to be able to get food with the nipple shield, but it was hurting me a lot. I started to suspect the nipple shield was too small and got the medium. The medium still hurt and the actual nipple seemed too big for my little miss. 5 nights after coming home we had a breastfeeding meltdown. I went to feed her and bled horribly, no milk just blood. Luckily I had tried out my pump earlier that day so we fed her that and ran out for some formula. That was almost a week ago and she hasn't been back on the breast since.

I'm currently pumping 6-8 times per day to keep up my supppy and we're feeding her bottled milk supplemented with formula a few times a day. I gave my nipples the weekend off to try to heal, they are getting better (wiping breastmilk on them after pumping and applying lanolin). I've since tried at least once a day to get her on the breast to no avail. She will do alright with the nipple shield, but I find that painful. She won't latch onto me. Even with the shield she's very much an on and off eater, won't latch and stay there. I'll keep her there, trying, for 10-20 minutes but we both just get frustrated and then she'll eat a good two ounces so she obviously wasn't getting much.

Needless to say we're both frustrated. I know problems are common, but I still take it personally. Not to mention this whole constant pumping thing is exhausting, especially given all the cleaning that goes along with it. I know all I can do is keep her fed and protect my supply until I meet with the with LC Tuesday, but I was hoping some of you may have words of wisdom.

So sorry for the novel and thanks in advance!

[lilyelayne]

Congratulations on your baby! You're doing great :-)

First- you only have to wash pump parts once a day, as long as you store them in the fridge between pumping sessions. Put them in a ziploc or a wet bag, then wash at the end of the day.

Second- unfortunately 6 expressions a day is under the recommendation at this age. 8-12x in 24 hours is the general rule.

Third- meeting with an IBCLC is definitely the next step so I'm glad you've got an appointment. He/she should evaluate LO for lip & tongue tie. Can also see why the nipple shield is hurting you. And discuss bottles v alternative feeding methods, like a supplemental nursing system.

You're probably already pace feeding bottles but if not that is very important to prevent bottle preference.

As far as getting baby to latch, these links have excellent advice. Do lots of skin to skin without pressure to latch. Try in a warm bath, or outside if you don't live in a too cold place.

kellymom.com/ages/newborn/nb-challenges/back-to-breast/

mamaandbabylove.com/make-your-boobs-a-happy-place/

[westiemom]

Congrats!!!

lilyelayne has great tips. The paced bottle feeding helped us tremendously.

Aside from those, I recommend having the Lactation consultant check or a tongue/lip ties. Those gave us heck in the beginning and I also bled. Once repaired, things improved greatly.

In the beginning, I also used the shield incorrectly. There is a specific way to put it on. You can YouTube to make sure you are doing it right prior to seeing the IBCLC.

The co-bathing thing is amazing! This has helped me during many a nursing strike.

Another idea is triggering your letdown prior to attaching her. She may get tired easily right now since she is so young so that will reduce some of the time she is on the boob.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Babies born early often struggle at first then catch on. Babies also often go from bottle to breast fine. I know it seems like a long time until Tuesday but you will be there before you know it!

[ginabini]

+1 to everything already said!! Also keep in mind that at 6 pounds, she really doesn't need much milk. Her stomach is only about the size of an egg (probably a little smaller). My LC had told me an approximate guideline for babies who weigh 10 pounds or less is to take the baby's weight in pounds and multiply it by 2.5 to calculate the amount of milk the baby needs in a 24 hour period. So if your little one is 6 pounds, she only needs about 15 ounces over the course of a 24 hour period. Just a little something to hopefully give you some peace of mind!

[billyhorrible]

Everyone has given you excellent advice, I just want to touch on one thing, your statement about taking it personally

What no one tells you about infant development is that latching is the last thing they gain the ability to do. Usually around 39 weeks. (It's one of the reasons they changed what is considered full term.) Babies born before this time have a harder time latching, and it's really frustrating for both of you. It's a skill, and she will get it, I promise, but some of your struggles are due to this, which you should remind yourself everytime you feel like you're doing something wrong.

You're not. While breastfeeding can be a challenge for many, you are doing am amazing job with maybe more of a challenge than others might have. You are not failing, you are kicking ass!

[ginabini]

Feb 1, 2017 13:58:37 GMT -5 billyhorrible said:

Everyone has given you excellent advice, I just want to touch on one thing, your statement about taking it personally

What no one tells you about infant development is that latching is the last thing they gain the ability to do. Usually around 39 weeks. (It's one of the reasons they changed what is considered full term.) Babies born before this time have a harder time latching, and it's really frustrating for both of you. It's a skill, and she will get it, I promise, but some of your struggles are due to this, which you should remind yourself everytime you feel like you're doing something wrong.

You're not. While breastfeeding can be a challenge for many, you are doing am amazing job with maybe more of a challenge than others might have. You are not failing, you are kicking ass!

THIS!!! Soooo much this!!

[dancerspose]

lilyelayne you have changed my life with this information that I don't need to wash my pump parts after every use. It has made all the difference in being able to keep up my pumping. Thank you!!

Thanks westiemom. We saw a GI doctor today due to an abnormal newborn screening and he was the first one to mention the possibility of a tongue tie. I thought that would be something they'd check for either in the hospital or pediatrician so I'm surprised. But I'll definitely ask the LC.

ginabini thanls for that estimate it is helpful!

billyhorrible thank you for the words of encouragement. I do keep trying to remind myself that while it's not my preferred delivery system I am producing food for her from my body and that, in itself, is impressive.

[westiemom]

Feb 2, 2017 17:38:16 GMT -5 dancerspose said:

lilyelayne you have changed my life with this information that I don't need to wash my pump parts after every use. It has made all the difference in being able to keep up my pumping. Thank you!!

Thanks westiemom. We saw a GI doctor today due to an abnormal newborn screening and he was the first one to mention the possibility of a tongue tie. I thought that would be something they'd check for either in the hospital or pediatrician so I'm surprised. But I'll definitely ask the LC.

ginabini thanls for that estimate it is helpful!

billyhorrible thank you for the words of encouragement. I do keep trying to remind myself that while it's not my preferred delivery system I am producing food for her from my body and that, in itself, is impressive.

My pedi missed ours sadly. The LC found it and the pediatric ENT confirmed and took care of it. Ours was a stage 4. Sadly, pediatricians don't get a lot of training in that area.

There is a great FB group for ties (Tongue Tie Babies Support Group) that give preferred provider recommendations and more information. It can be tricky to get all the tie so I recommend checking with a preferred provider since they do it on the reg.

The procedure itself is quick. 😃

[megrae12]

Hey! Congrats on your sweet baby!

My guy was born 5 weeks early and we had an awful time starting out. Babies born early are still very sleepy and like mentioned above, don't develop that suckle reflex until later. So, you have to train her as it were. I won't lie, these early weeks are going to be hard, I cried almost everyday. You need to put her to the breast every time she makes a sound. I spent the first two weeks of DS' life found skin to skin, which helped him me and him stay calm. We did a supplemental nursing system and I triple fed. It was a long process, but he did eventually get it. You have to remember that your baby wasn't supposed to be born yet, so you are a bit behind the full term babies on the learning curve. Seeing an LC helped a lot, we were there every week and it helped with my sanity.

She may not have a tongue tie, so much as she just doesn't know to latch properly. Of course, getting her checked will confirm that. For us, it was teaching DS how to latch properly, etc. If you want, I can tell you everything we went through and give our timeline on how things went. He is almost one now and we are still going strong. You got this, mama!

[dancerspose]

opheliainwaders and megrae12 thank you so much. It's very reassuring to hear others who've had similar experiences with early babies and overcome them. I'll be sure to let you all know what the LC says next week.

[wildmom]

Just wanted to chime in and say - while I really hope you can work your nursing relationship out!!!!! - I pumped exclusively for 10 months and it was just fine stressful, tiring and annoying, but I did it and maintained the supply I had (which wasn't quite enough but it was stable and stayed the same the whole time) until I decided I needed my life back. Whatever the situation is for you and whatever kind of choices you make at any point along the way, it will be exactly the right thing because mama always knows best mf you are doing a perfect job!!!

[dancerspose]

wildmom thank you. I have really begun to accept that if I need to continue EP it's not the end of the world. In fact, it does have its benefits. And, most importantly, she'll be getting the food she needs either way.

[emmyg65]

Just wanted to chime in and say that you're doing an awesome job and I hope your visit with the LC is helpful. The first few weeks of BFing can be rough, but this will hopefully be a long, positive journey. Good luck on Tuesday!

[dancerspose]

Just as an update, we FINALLY had our appointment with the LC this morning, and I feel so much better. She was very encouraging and reassuring, and I think we have a solid plan in place. Basically we're to keep doing what we're doing (pumping and bottle feeding) and add in a few times a day putting her on the breast for a little while. She is able to latch, but has a tendency to pull off. The LC thinks she just needs to get bigger and stronger still, I mean she's still a week and a half from her actual due date. She said the nipple shield probably won't work for her, though, as she has a tendency to almost bite on the shield, which is no good at all for my nipple. So we'll keep trucking along and go back next week. It was really nice to have a professional tell us we were basically doing everything right. Oh, and she's up to 6lbs 7oz, a 7oz gain from Thursday!

[bluefairy5]

dancerspose, That's great news! I'm so happy the LC was helpful and left you feeling positive.

[katelm]

My daughter was born early & was so sleepy & would never latch. She's a nursing pro now! Here is what helped:
1. Time, her getting bigger and stronger
2. 2 tongue tie revisions (the second was laser)
3. Suck training with a speech pathologist

In the meantime I EPed & did paced bottle feeding. My nips were so damaged that i didn't even try breastfeeding her for over a week once even though the LC said attempt 3x a day. Honestly I was convinced she would never breastfeed & I would just forever EP. Then around 12 weeks she just got it. She used to take 90 min to get 2-4oz (aka 30-60 min break until the start of the next feed)..I was exhausted!!

Now my little nursing pro feeds in 5-7 min per side. And gets like 5-6oz in that time! I honestly never thought we would get here ever

[dancerspose]

katelm I'm sorry for how rough your journey started out, but so encouraged to hear where it is now! I'm very hopeful that slowly but surely we'll get there.

[seamonster]

I'm glad the LC appointment went well. You're doing great. Massaging your boob while you nurse can help by getting milk out faster. This might encourage her to stay on longer.

Did the LC find a lip or tongue tie? Even one that doesn't seem severe can hinder nursing so if there is one, I'd get it corrected.

[seamonster]

I also recommend coconut oil or Earth Angel Mama Baby nipple butter over lanolin. I found lanolin too sticky and that it made my scabs pull off. The other two softened without sticking.