If you plan to, when will you TTC?

[sandandsea]

Feb 5, 2017 0:06:20 GMT -5 GOmamab15 said:

I have a lot of questions about this floating through my head. Can I really love another person as much as I love my LO?
I am an only child and I wanted him to have siblings and the first few months I was like okay lets do it! Now I'm not so sure that I can handle another. I don't want to take away any of my time with my son because I don't get a ton of time as it is, plus my husband has his hands full with 1 as a SAHD and financially I don't see how we could make it work(wouldn't we need a bigger house, bigger car, better job?)

The second has been much cheaper than the first because we kept everything and had two boys so all of the clothes even work. With a bigger gap it's easier because the older is better on his own so the baby can be more needy.

Kids don't need their own rooms or much space if you can't afford it. And I have a small car with two car seats with no problem. I mean once you get past 2 or 3 then you need a bigger car.

The love multiplies. Seriously. I had the same fear and it vanished as soon as ds2 was born. I really think your heart grows more with each kid because that's how it felt for me. I was head over heels for ds1 and now am with both. There's absolutely room.

My only concern would be overwhelming yourselves because I "get" that completely. Ds1 was not an easy baby and is not an easy kid (he will be an awesome adult and leader someday). The age gap makes it manageable for us because he's old enough now to be a little hands off but before he was 3.5, we would have lost it.

[manybellsdown]

Feb 5, 2017 2:55:38 GMT -5 sandandsea said:

Feb 5, 2017 0:06:20 GMT -5 GOmamab15 said:

I have a lot of questions about this floating through my head. Can I really love another person as much as I love my LO?
I am an only child and I wanted him to have siblings and the first few months I was like okay lets do it! Now I'm not so sure that I can handle another. I don't want to take away any of my time with my son because I don't get a ton of time as it is, plus my husband has his hands full with 1 as a SAHD and financially I don't see how we could make it work(wouldn't we need a bigger house, bigger car, better job?)

The second has been much cheaper than the first because we kept everything and had two boys so all of the clothes even work. With a bigger gap it's easier because the older is better on his own so the baby can be more needy.

Kids don't need their own rooms or much space if you can't afford it. And I have a small car with two car seats with no problem. I mean once you get past 2 or 3 then you need a bigger car.

The love multiplies. Seriously. I had the same fear and it vanished as soon as ds2 was born. I really think your heart grows more with each kid because that's how it felt for me. I was head over heels for ds1 and now am with both. There's absolutely room.

My only concern would be overwhelming yourselves because I "get" that completely. Ds1 was not an easy baby and is not an easy kid (he will be an awesome adult and leader someday). The age gap makes it manageable for us because he's old enough now to be a little hands off but before he was 3.5, we would have lost it.

+1. All of this re: the house, car, and love.

DD was a pretty easy kid but I also agree that a bigger age gap (i.e., no 2u2, it was closer to 3 years for us) has been awesome for us.

[chriskoo]

We're thinking of starting TTC again in September/October or so. This seems really selfish to say but to be honest the reason for that timing is so I can hopefully take the summer to have my body to myself. Breastfeeding DD has been a wonderful experience and I do love it -- we're going strong and I really want to make it to a year. That said I do plan to wean her around her first birthday, and those 2 months not pregnant or nursing sound like heaven to me.

I hope I don't regret not starting the TTC process as soon as DD is weaned or even sooner, I realize it might take longer next time and we have had a loss so of course that's a possibility. I'm trying not to stress too much over the whole thing.

[txmommy14]

Love this thread and I'm shocked we haven't had a J16 BFP that we know of yet!

We definitely want a 3rd, but we are thinking of a 3 year gap or so. DS was such an easy baby, we started trying again when he was like 6 months old. After a year, a loss, and DD being so hard (and DS is now a hard toddler), we want to wait a little while. I can't even imagine managing 3 kids right now. We both know we're not done though.

[woodengirl07]

Y'all must have a much easier kid than me. I CANNOT EVEN FATHOM thinking about starting all over again right now!

[sandandsea]

Feb 5, 2017 23:04:06 GMT -5 woodengirl07 said:

Y'all must have a much easier kid than me. I CANNOT EVEN FATHOM thinking about starting all over again right now!

Some days I think to myself,"how long until they're 18"? 😉. I know I know. Enjoy it. It will fly by Yada yada. At 3am when you haven't slept yet it is increasingly difficult to enjoy it.

[ArgyleEnigma]

carolinaheart I'm glad you are doing better! I hope you continue to get the best services for your health and happiness.

[bgkc4]

I'm thinking about trying for a 2nd during the Fall so that they would be about 2 - 2.5 years apart. I'll be 36 soon, which doesn't worry me, but I'm mindful of it. Sometimes I consider being OaD because of convenience and finances. I worry about feeling overwhelmed. But there's a larger part of me that doesn't want DD to be an only child. I'm still nursing and AF hasn't returned, but I plan to stop by her first birthday.
carolinaheart, speaking from personal experience, getting professional help for PPA and PPD was a game changer for me. I only regret not seeing someone sooner. The first 6 months was hard and I was pretty sad/stressed. I ended up being Rx'ed medication. I know that's not the answer for everyone but it helped me tremendously. I was embarrassed initially (because there's a stigma attached to PPD and PPA, and I'd never experienced feelings of depression), but I'm not embarrassed now. I'm glad I swallowed my pride and talked to someone. I'm in a much better place now. I will have to be weaned off of medication prior to TTC, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

[2dogs2kids]

This thread is giving me all the feels. I read through all your comments and nodded or agreed with most of them. DH is done with a capital D. He was supposed to get a V but has not pursued it yet, which makes me happy. I go back and forth like multiple times a day, but ultimately I think I am also done. I just don't like to think about never having an itty bitty again!