Non sleep training?

[katelm]

I have seen lots of posts about sleep training & was wondering if anyone else was not doing sleep training but still had a baby who wakes & feeds a few times a night?

Baby girl is 6.5 months old (almost 7!) and wakes about every 3-4.5 hours to nurse during the night. This ends up being about 3 times a night. A good night is 2 times awake to eat, a bad is 4. She's gone 6+ hours on very rare occasion (like after vaccines). But for the most part we are at 2-3 night feeds.

We are huge on bedtime routine: dinner solids, bath, lotion, jammies w/ sleepsack, bedtime books, nurse to sleep, sound machine, a lovey. She goes to bed great & now tummy sleeps. She self soothes multiple times per night (fusses a little and then goes back to sleep). I nurse her back to sleep the times she gets hysterical and when I feed her she CHUGS. She's very capable of putting herself to sleep for naps & doesn't *need* to be nursed to sleep. She doesn't use pacifiers (she used to but actually prefers her own fingers to paci).

So I guess what I'm saying is I feel that we have done all the right things for establishing a good bedtime routine and at this point we are doing the "wait it out method." Just looking for solidarity (not against those who sleep train). Is anyone else doing something similar?

[dc2london]

We weren't sleep training bc she was doing fine on her own, but since her teeth came in she seems to be needing me to fall/stay asleep more, so we will probably do ferber next weekend

[dc2london]

Feb 16, 2017 2:01:10 GMT -5 EllieT said:

I should also say I do feel he needs to eat a couple of times during the night. He is terrible at nursing during the day, so distractable. I've tried everything including nursing in the pitch black bathroom but he is too curious and busy to eat during the day. At night though he will chug.

I guess maybe he would eat better during the day if he didn't eat so much at night but I kinda doubt it.

I foolishly thought it would be easy to just pop the hungry baby on the breast as needed at Disneyworld.
Lol no.
She was FAR too busy looking and listening and watching. All of central Florida probably saw my boob. And she nursed more at night to make up for it during those few days.
Pro tip: MK has a baby care room. It's really nice. Use it :-p

[joy]

I wanted to give my baby some time. I tried to establish good habits and let her tell me when she was ready. Not every baby nor every parent can or should take that route, though.

We got her down to two wake ups early on. I then lowered the ounces in them slowly and increased her day amount. She naturally consolidated that into one wake up. Then, one day, she just slept through. So, I'm going with it.

Now, the future may force us to sleep train due to regressions or illness. We'll see what happens and how to address it.

[annbuhdan]

I did sleep train, because she could not go to sleep on her own at all. Sleep training worked really well for falling asleep on her own after the bedtime routine. Now our night looks pretty much exactly like yours. She soothes herself back to sleep a few times a night, but she still eats every three hours. I haven't done anything to reduce night feeds. It's working for me, because like you said she chugs and goes back to sleep within minutes.

I also responded to almost all DD1's night wakings, because several attempts to sleep train failed. She STTN one night at 18 months and has never looked back. My kids have both been really small and gaining at the low end of the normal range so I didn't feeli could cut out any feeds.

[hollyberry]

So far we have not done sleep training. The babies go to sleep well at night, minimal crying, and figured it was not needed. They do, since teething, wake up once a night for a bottle. If only one wakes up then I try to get them back to sleep without a bottle, but they usually wake the other up. We also co sleep and will hopefully break that habit while mh is away for a week. But we will see how strong I am, lol. I do kinda feel that once they sleep through they will naturally not need me anymore. I only bring them to me when they wake up in the night but are still basically sleeping but won't settle or after their night bottle. I am not looking forward to breaking this. And truthfully, these are my first and only babies we will have so I am kinda enjoying the cuddling.

[joy]

I told my sister that the baby goes to bed in her room but I move her to our room when she wakes up crying around 1am. She asked why? ...I like her sleeping in the bassinet next to my side of the bed. I don't want it to end.

[remylove1011]

I guess I sit here. We did nothing for sleep training. That being said, she does STTN, but she did that all on her own. She was doing every 3 hours and at some point dropped her first night feed. Then she dropped her second. I never did anything to encourage this, she must have just been ready. She will on occasion wake when sick and then I'll nurse her. I think its totally ok to not sleep train. It's not for everyone. I nurse to sleep now and she goes down pretty easily. We rock her for naps. I'm really ok with this and it works well for her. I just couldn't bring myself to let her cry. She's one of those babies that only cries when she really needs something (seriously unicorn happy child), so letting her cry would possibly break me.

[katelm]

remylove1011 I am fortunate to have one of those unicorn opposite of colic babies too. She will throw up on herself and have a massive poopy diaper and not even fuss. Her daycare teachers have asked me multiple times does she ever cry. She is such a good baby and has such a good temperament so when she does start bawling in the middle of the night I honestly take it seriously because it's so unusual to hear her cry at all it breaks my heart so much. I usually give her a little bit of time to let her try and sell sooth and that in itself is ridiculously hard for me!

[katelm]

Feb 16, 2017 11:20:26 GMT -5 joy said:

I told my sister that the baby goes to bed in her room but I move her to our room when she wakes up crying around 1am. She asked why? ...I like her sleeping in the bassinet next to my side of the bed. I don't want it to end.

Don't you love how cuddly they are in the night?

[katelm]

EllieT interesting, didn't know it was a US thing.

I hear you all on the distraction eating!

Regarding cosleeping, i'm comfortable with doing it now that she is much older, stronger and can roll. However I have found that I don't get as good of sleep if I cosleep with her the second half of the night because she ends up waking up extra early and smack me in the face to play. If I have her in her crib during that time (which is right next to my bed), she plays by herself

[remylove1011]

katelm I also have DD in our room right next to our bed. I'm not ready to move her yet! I feel like if we coslept I wouldn't sleep well. She moves a lot in her sleep and typically ends up turned all around in her bed. It's pretty funny actually. She gets herself all smushed in the corner with her legs basically in the air and is just as happy as can be with her odd position. Such a weirdo.

[meagpt22]

EllieT you are no judging at all no worries. You are probably right on the lack of maternity leave being the reason why sleep training is so popular in the US.

[remylove1011]

EllieT I think it also has to do with the U.S. encouraging a baby having their own room early on. We still have DD in our room and it's considered unusual in my circle. It's only in the last year that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended room sharing for up to the first year.

[pttomato]

We have done some things to try to get her to sleep better, but have not let her cry yet. Everyone keep telling me I need to but I am reluctant because of her stomach issues and because I don't think it will work. I have managed to improve her sleep a number of times and it has never lasted more than a week before reverting back. Also her stomach is still bothering her and waking her up, I wish I could fix that. I just know that listening to her scream for hours over several days and then having it not improve her sleep or only improve it for a few days would completely break me. Listening to her scream for prolonged periods in the car makes me really mad at her.

[meagpt22]

pttomato if it's stomach issues keeping her awake then training likely wouldn't work. Both my kids have stomach issues and I found with DD she couldn't sleep through it until 1.5 years old.

[pttomato]

Feb 17, 2017 12:41:11 GMT -5 meagpt22 said:

pttomato if it's stomach issues keeping her awake then training likely wouldn't work. Both my kids have stomach issues and I found with DD she couldn't sleep through it until 1.5 years old.

That's my concern. But then I read sleep books that say gas doesn't cause babies to wake up even when parents think it is and I'm getting a lot of pressure from everyone around me to sleep train. So I start wondering if maybe I'm wrong and she actually has bad sleep habits. It's tough, I really could use better sleep, my anxiety/ability to cope with stress is not great right now. But there may not be a solution.

[meagpt22]

Feb 17, 2017 15:23:49 GMT -5 pttomato said:

Feb 17, 2017 12:41:11 GMT -5 meagpt22 said:

pttomato if it's stomach issues keeping her awake then training likely wouldn't work. Both my kids have stomach issues and I found with DD she couldn't sleep through it until 1.5 years old.

That's my concern. But then I read sleep books that say gas doesn't cause babies to wake up even when parents think it is and I'm getting a lot of pressure from everyone around me to sleep train. So I start wondering if maybe I'm wrong and she actually has bad sleep habits. It's tough, I really could use better sleep, my anxiety/ability to cope with stress is not great right now. But there may not be a solution.

I can say there is/was no doubt in my mind that gas effects my kids sleep. When they are clearly uncomfortable and have known gas issues is pretty clear. So basically you the Mom knows better than any book or anyone else. If you don't want to sleep train don't.
That being said I did sleep train my DD at 9 months for other reasons. Yet on nights when I knew it was gas I cut her a break.

[katelm]

Feb 17, 2017 8:11:59 GMT -5 remylove1011 said:

EllieT I think it also has to do with the U.S. encouraging a baby having their own room early on. We still have DD in our room and it's considered unusual in my circle. It's only in the last year that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended room sharing for up to the first year.

That's a good point. There is all this focus on having a baby nursery, fancy furniture, etc. in the US. Having a baby in a separate room is not very breastfeeding friendly either. Our nursery right now is just to store her clothes & books I have no interest in moving her to her own room anytime soon, I expect her the be in our room 1 year at a minimum. I like having my baby close by

[katelm]

Feb 17, 2017 2:06:35 GMT -5 EllieT said:

Feb 16, 2017 20:06:43 GMT -5 katelm said:

EllieT interesting, didn't know it was a US thing.

I hear you all on the distraction eating!

Regarding cosleeping, i'm comfortable with doing it now that she is much older, stronger and can roll. However I have found that I don't get as good of sleep if I cosleep with her the second half of the night because she ends up waking up extra early and smack me in the face to play. If I have her in her crib during that time (which is right next to my bed), she plays by herself

Not sure if it's just a US thing, I'm sure other places do it too. Ans I do know there are people that do it in Sweden too but it's not very common. Pretty much the only thing I found when googling was something referred to as the 5 min method (I think it's some kind of CIO with checks every five minutes) and it was actually only criticism of it.

I think this might have to do with your lack of maternity leave maybe? Yes I know SAHM also need sleep and will sleep train but I guess if you go back to work when the baby is still very small sleep training is a necessity and it has become a thing for everybody.

I'm not sure how to phrase my thoughts on this, I'M NOT JUDGING at all or saying we are better than you or whatever. I just find it very interesting to notice cultural differences when it comes to babies and parenting. I'm obviously Swedish living in Sweden so I have that as my background when it comes to parenting but with DH being Canadian, his family and atleast half of our friends with kids bring that perspective. I try to be open to everything and do what seems best for us. For instance we did swaddle eventhough no one here has ever heard about it and most people thought it was weird or possibly bad.

Hm yeah I don't know because it seems like I know a lot of SAHM who do sleep train & I know several of us on this thread that aren't sleep training work full time. Not sure if there is a correlation there or not.

I think for me part of the reason I cannot do CIO is because after being away from my baby at work all day I feel guilty & miss her and don't mind the precious middle of the night snuggles. She goes to bed so soon after we get home so I feel like it makes up for some of the lack of time. Then it sucks the next day when I'm tired but it will get better eventually. I need more discipline to go to bed earlier when she does honestly.

So does that prove an opposite point? lol

[remylove1011]

Feb 17, 2017 21:31:59 GMT -5 katelm said:

Feb 17, 2017 8:11:59 GMT -5 remylove1011 said:

EllieT I think it also has to do with the U.S. encouraging a baby having their own room early on. We still have DD in our room and it's considered unusual in my circle. It's only in the last year that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended room sharing for up to the first year.

That's a good point. There is all this focus on having a baby nursery, fancy furniture, etc. in the US. Having a baby in a separate room is not very breastfeeding friendly either. Our nursery right now is just to store her clothes & books I have no interest in moving her to her own room anytime soon, I expect her the be in our room 1 year at a minimum. I like having my baby close by

Yeah, I initially said I wanted to keep her in our room until she STTN. Now that she's been doing that I still don't feel ready to put her in her own room. Our master is on the first floor so she'd be upstairs alone. I like being able to just roll over and check on her when she makes her fussy noises. I think its comforting for her and anxiety reducing for me so I plan to keep her there until I feel ready.

[katelm]

Feb 17, 2017 21:42:05 GMT -5 remylove1011 said:

Feb 17, 2017 21:31:59 GMT -5 katelm said:

That's a good point. There is all this focus on having a baby nursery, fancy furniture, etc. in the US. Having a baby in a separate room is not very breastfeeding friendly either. Our nursery right now is just to store her clothes & books I have no interest in moving her to her own room anytime soon, I expect her the be in our room 1 year at a minimum. I like having my baby close by

Yeah, I initially said I wanted to keep her in our room until she STTN. Now that she's been doing that I still don't feel ready to put her in her own room. Our master is on the first floor so she'd be upstairs alone. I like being able to just roll over and check on her when she makes her fussy noises. I think its comforting for her and anxiety reducing for me so I plan to keep her there until I feel ready.

Same situation! Planned to move her when she STTN but we also have a downstairs master. When she moves to her own room we will also move upstairs to another regular bedroom ...for many years. And I don't want to move out of our master anytime soon