Expaining death to a 6 year old

[msdrdg]

I know there have been posts about this before, but please humor me.
My Gram passed this afternoon.  She was 89 and had been sick for quite some time.
My 6 year old DS, has anxiety and depression and I don't know how to tell him about this without setting him off on a spiral.
We do not do religion so I cannot fall back on the God explanation and his therapist is on vacation this week, great timing.
Help? Thanks!

[jollywife]

I don't know specifically how to handle things with respect to his anxiety, but in general I think it's best to be as honest as possible with kids. We are also not religious so we just explain things to the best of our abilities. DS is almost 6 and will sometimes ask deeper questions which we just answer as honestly and simply as possible. Sometimes we talk about things other people believe about after death and how there are different thoughts and beliefs about what happens.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Cocomama]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[msdrdg]

Thanks ladies.
hawkward,I will look into that book. He understands things more than most 6 year olds, he's kinda an old soul. And he is extremely emotional about things so I fear that instead of being detached, he will break down.
@sweptaway, I like the idea of her energy being with us even though her body is gone. I will try to incorporate that.

We've dealt with death in that our cat died a couple years ago, but he never really saw the cat (it was terrified of humans and Ry barely knew it existed). When he found out he sobbed for a long time. With this being a human that he knew and loved, I am scared of his reaction. I so wish his therapist was back from vacation.

[Deleted]

I learned a lot from listening to this podcast and looking through the associated website. longestshortesttime.com/episode-65-kids-ask-about-death/

It's been a couple years since I listened to it, but I recall them describing death using examples kids could understand. Like flowers in the garden dying and going back into the earth. At that age, it's a very literal discussion and it's best not to use euphemisms like passed away or was very sick and died. Because kids don't really get what you're saying.

[Deleted]

Yeah the flowers and circle of life thing can be reassuring even if you don't believe in any greater being.

Check hospice websites, they usually have a bunch of help for children topics based on what to expect, how to help them grieve and what they are likely to ask so you are prepared.

[fancynewbeesly]

First off I am sorry for your loss.

I can emphathize with an "old soul" child. Reese doesn't have anxiety or depression, but understands more than most kids. My uncle passed away a few weeks ago--she met him once or twice (that she remembers).

She did burst into tears when we told her. However she has been fine since then. But we told her as gently as possible without religion.

[kbw12]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[jnu76]

When my fil died someone suggested that I watch the Sesame Street clips on YouTube where they explain Mr Hooper's death to Big Bird. It helped me to understand how blunt I needed to be with my son and the type of questions to expect. I didn't realize how euphemistic adults are about death until I had to explain it to a little kid.
I prepped him about what happened and that people were going to be sad, but I realized too late that it was an open casket wake, so I had to pull him aside and explain that it looks like Grandpa's sleeping but he's not, and I had to keep him away from people who kept saying that he was.
I'm sorry for your loss. Good luck.

[heaterb13]

This article was super helpful in explaining to my four year old when my husband's grandmother died. Sorry for your loss.

childdevelopmentinfo.com/how-to-be-a-parent/communication/talk-to-kids-death/#.WKmzjjw8KEe

[Unknown]

I'm so sorry for your loss.