Me: 29 DH: 35 NTNP since May 2013 charting since June 2014 dx: Graves disease (radioactive iodine), Crohns disease (abdominal surgeries) MMC October 2015 (9 weeks) Severe MFI diagnosis July 2015
Me: 29 DH: 35 NTNP since May 2013 charting since June 2014 dx: Graves disease (radioactive iodine), Crohns disease (abdominal surgeries) MMC October 2015 (9 weeks) Severe MFI diagnosis July 2015
Family drama: my dad ruined shit last time so we don't plan on telling him until the baby is already here. Asshole comes bargaining in my room twice when he was on the NOT ALLOWED TO VISIT list last time. I was being induced due to my blood pressure and guess what? My no spiked through the roof after his visits. This time I'm having a scheduled C, but will probably tell him a later date and then be like "surprise she came early". I'm an asshole.
Family drama: my dad ruined shit last time so we don't plan on telling him until the baby is already here. Asshole comes bargaining in my room twice when he was on the NOT ALLOWED TO VISIT list last time. I was being induced due to my blood pressure and guess what? My no spiked through the roof after his visits. This time I'm having a scheduled C, but will probably tell him a later date and then be like "surprise she came early". I'm an asshole.
Preserving your health and mental state does not make you an asshole. Do what you gotta do. He's already shown he won't listen to your instructions. Don't feel bad!
I'm going on Day 3 of zero communication from my mom. I've done the usual amount of Snapchats and she typically responds to one or two and also sends some herself (we do it just with my parents and sisters). Nothing. Can't decide if this is better than her calling and crying or being mad.
agm04 - Thanks. I'm not stressing about it too much, it just annoys me because if she's expecting me to bend or apologize or something, that is not going to happen. If she brings it up, I will tell her the intent was not to hurt her, but this is what we want. I guess she just needs to learn now it's not about her.
Sometimes being the first child is a pain. I've paved the way in so many areas. My sisters don't get anywhere near the crap I do.
marshian that's funny bc i'm the baby, but i'm way more of a hard ass than my sister. ha. but you're totally right here, and i'm glad you're not too torn up over it.
marshian hopefully we it mom comes around soon. People need to realize this is a special moment for you and your husband. However the two of you want it to happen should be respected.
I honestly found it easier to just let people get it out of their system and come visit at the hospital. Nurses and staff can help kick people out of the room for you...do not disturb signs can be put on the door. People get the hint and don't stay long. They feel better that they got to see the baby for 2.5 seconds. If you don't want them there when you're in labor don't tell anyone you're in labor! Keep a trusted friend in the loop in case anything comes up. I told my family that I didn't want people hanging around when I was in labor and I still had everyone dropping by and at least two grandparents in the room most of the time. This wasn't in my plans at all but when I was in labor I just didn't give a shit. I ended up kinda liking the extra support and I know H liked the breaks. When you get home and people visit they linger...they have meals with you...they do everything but help where you really need it and its annoying. Arrange those times weeks out when you're just a tiny bit out of the fog and can handle it. If people drop by unannounced don't answer the door. "Oooops I was asleep" is a great excuse!
With C I was called by my OB on a Thursday afternoon to head to L&D because she didn't like some of my blood work results. I called DH, my boss and then my mom. About 30 minutes after DH left work (his shop is in the back of his parents store) I called his parents to let them know. My OB said chances are they would induce that night. I told both my mom and his parents not to come until we found out more information from my OB. Sure as shit they all showed up before we knew much. But, I'm actually thankful they came because they were able to run out and grab us dinner as well as pick up a few things from the store we didn't pack (a deck of cards!) Sunday morning I ended up with a C-section and they were in the waiting room before I was even wheeled back. They stuck around long enough for me to get out of the OR and say hi to me/see how I was doing (by this point they had already met baby since DH brought him back to the room). They left for lunch and to buy a baby outfit and came back several hours later after I was moved to our new room. We didn't tell my dad what was going on until just before they brought me in for the C-section because I didn't want him to worry (and he was 8 hours away so it wouldn't have mattered) No other family or friends knew until the day after C was born. (Except my boss because I needed to keep her in the loop and we're super close)
cheezee - If my family was local I would let them come peek at the hospital. Because then they could drive home. Since they have to fly and I can't control their flights, I don't want any pressure to let them hang out for hours on end or even days when we really want the first week alone.
Maybe with the next one they'll be in driving distance.
Post by applemuffins on Feb 25, 2017 23:10:14 GMT -5
I feel kind of like cheezee I didn't want anyone to come visit while I was in labor or right after. Some how, SIL found her way to my room shortly after I had given birth- I wasn't even in the recovery room yet. Not sure how that happened exactly, but I wasn't as bothered by it as I thought I would. I think my endorphins were running on high and I was just over the moon happy and didn't have any other care in the world. The next day, however, was another story when hormones started crashing. MIL came to visit and I just wanted her out of the room so, so badly. I was having trouble breastfeeding, doctors were coming in and out, I couldn't walk. I just wanted to be alone to cry.
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