When people come here, confessing that they yelled, I assume it's because they're acknowledging their reaction as a parent was inappropriate. Or else why even mention it?
If that's happening on a daily basis, it's too much.
I saw on the news this morning that a Macy's in Minneapolis is selling their animatronic holiday display items. Including some Harry Potter. You interested @bruxannie?
im going to swing through and murder those animatronic Harry Potter figurines.
I need a definition of yelling. Raising one's voice? Or actually chewing your kid out? Because my kid has no chill and I have to yell to get his attention at least once and up to fifty times a day.
Yeah I mean, the put your shoes on process inevitably results in some raised voice here. My children make it difficult to be the parent I always assumed I'd be.
They really get in the way of my quest for perfection. Jerks.
I almost definitely yell too much. But I don't think it's damaging to a kid. I just think it's probably not as effective as other shit I could do, but it's hard to change who you are.
I know I yell out of frustration and exasperation with DS. Trying to parent him and deal with his behavior issues is the absolute hardest thing I've ever done in my life.
Maybe I should save this for tomorrow, but over the weekend, my kid commented that she was never scared when Mommy yells at her because Mommy yells a lot, but she would be scared if Daddy yelled at her because Daddy never yells.
This is pretty accurate. My professional training says that the issue with yelling isn't the volume, it's the fear and unpredictability that results, so in that sense I'm not worried.
I'm most scary when I'm dead calm and my voice drops decibels- that's a clear don't fuck with me message.
I wouldn't say not good, but meh at best. But I still laugh when my kid runs around with the fake ketchup and mustard from his play grill and call him condiment man.
Post by SheilaTheTank on Feb 23, 2017 8:46:55 GMT -5
At the end of a long day, sometimes I just don't have it in me to redirect for the 9 millionth time in the last five minutes. I yell. I yelled at her yesterday. Do I feel bad, yes. But even my therapist said that I was not going to damage my kid for yelling at her and that it's perfectly reasonable that your child pushes you to the edge. It's the fact that you acknowledge your behavior and take steps to try to improve that counts.
It's astounding how my kid can turn taking off pj's and putting on pants and a shirt into a 15 minute long process that involves some period of nakedness and/or dancing.
There is definitely a difference between loud-talking/raising voice to get your kid's attention, and red-faced screaming. The former is just how some families interact/the only way kids listen. The latter is what I try to avoid. Growing up, there was a phase in my life where my house was a "screaming" house. Like, every day there was screaming and slamming doors. In retrospect, my mom was obviously going through something and probably should have been in therapy.
I'm not judging people who lose it occasionally, I certainly have. But I try to keep it in check.
I wouldn't say not good, but meh at best. But I still laugh when my kid runs around with the fake ketchup and mustard from his play grill and call him condiment man.
I'm not sure my kids even liked it. DS, who granted just turned 3, said his favorite part was "the talking baby" from the Boss Baby preview before the movie. DD said it was OK, but kind of long.
I also think there's a big difference between yelling and screaming. My sister screamed at my nephew all the time when he was younger, and it made me so uncomfortable that I try really hard to not do either. It doesn't work all the time, but keeping my patience in check is really important to me.
Hmmm. I think there's some mild yelling daily in exasperation here, but upon examination in this moment...eh. They're exasperating.
Like the other night when they were both acting like fools and I had told them for the 40th time to chill and finally screamed "THAT IS IT I HAVE HAD IT. BOTH OF YOU SIT ON THE COUCH AND WATCH YOUR MOVIE OR YOU ARE GOING TO YOUR ROOMS FOREVER.'
Oh I actually have one this week! Or at least it is a UO at DD's daycare.
If your child does not have allergies/food sensitivities/restrictions because of religious beliefs, you don't need to approve every single ingredient of every food they ingest. Like four times a week, I get emails asking if it is okay for DD to eat a granola bar/cookie/whatever snack they are making with the kids, complete with a list of every ingredient. And without fail, 4 or 5 parents are up in arms about the choice and all "ABSOLUTELY NOT! DO NOT GIVE THAT TO FERDINAND!!!"
I find myself yelling way too much lately and I need to reign it in. I'm assuming it isn't detrimental though because it has no effect on DD. She still ignores what I'm saying.
Post by hiafromwassie on Feb 23, 2017 9:06:34 GMT -5
I lived in the screaming house like you mention @bazi45, there is an enormous difference between occasionally loosing it, recognizing it, and taking steps to do better than to continue. One of my boys speaks very loudly almost jarringly loud (his hearing is fine!) and I believe it is in part due to being surrounded by almost constant yelling when he was little. His awareness has improved with age and maturity.
UO I cannot stand hazelnut anything, someone at my office is making flavored coffee and I'm gagging from the smell
I raise my voice with my kids all the time but Hs yelling/temper is a very serious point of contention in our marriage right now. Well it's always a point of contention in our marriage but it's come to a boiling point yet again. We're back in counseling.
Am I using contention right? It feels wrong for some reason.
You are using it right...and I'm sorry about that situation.
Or A at bedtime. She is the master of stretching it out as long as possible. And then after she has stayed up an hour longer than she is supposed to but then starts whining and crying for one more video. I do not possess to keep my chill at that point either.
I raise my voice a lot. Not to the point of screaming or laying into my kids, but there's some form of raised voice/yelling everyday. It's not my default way to deal, but when I'm on my 15th redirection or have been calmly asking her to do the same thing for the past 20 min, etc there's some yelling.
This might be hard to believe coming from me but I'm not a yeller. I'm actually soft spoken and I really only need a firm tone for my kids to know I'm serious. They'd shit themselves if I actually yelled.
MH is the same. I often ask how it's enjoyable to him.
But he's the same with food - it must burn the shit out of his mouth or else he won't eat it because it's "too cold".
OMG. This is my husband. He microwaves food for like... 15 minutes until it's literally boiling and then eats it. He wants things so effing hot. I'm totally okay with much cooler food. And showers. And his coffee is so hot he basically just sips the air of it forever. I don't get it.
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