The twins got together and decided to be extra crazy today. This is the second explosion of the day. The first I was trying to take care of J and K lost her mind. By the time I was able to get to her she had fallen asleep crying. This time J is on his own because his screaming upset K so bad she couldn't eat.
Today sucks.
Glad my MIL got Wyatt for the afternoon because I couldn't deal with him on top of this.
LT for commiseration bc this is USUALLY how it goes, hence my utter happiness and "bragging" when it goes the other way. If I posted every time it went this way you guys would be voting me off the island pretty quickly. What I mean is,
Post by jubilantsquirrel on Mar 3, 2017 18:59:52 GMT -5
I just got home and i guess DS2 did better. MIL and GMIL said that he would get super angry anytime they held him in a cradle position, so my MH put the napper back on the pnp and set it up in the living room. They're able to lay him in the napper and he takes the bottle better in that position. It's still not great, he took 3oz today, but hopefully this helps.
So after weeks of telling him that I need a couple hours each week for a mental break, you know, for all of our sanity, just so I can be the best mommy and wife... H "surprised" me with coming home early and having his mom over to help him with the kids and sent me out.
I am so very grateful but would've loved notice so I could, maybe shower.. Maybe see if my sister or a friend was around lol. But little victories.
So I went to the Loft bc I had a $100 gift card from my coworker for Xmas. I was gone maybe 45 minutes at most and I checked in, found out his mom already left. JFC, 45 minutes is all you can spare woman? Like. You see your grandkids twice a month. Anyway, H insisted I stay out longer and he's be fine but knowing they are sick, going through a growth spurt, possibly teething - I came home bc they'd been rough all day. Walked into mind bending screams from Adeline and "hyperventilating" - of course the second I took her she went silent and began sighing - HOW?!?! I thought they don't know better yet?!?!
Upside H got pizza for dinner. Downside, it's buffalo chicken and is fire on my sore throat. Send me to bed, please.
So after weeks of telling him that I need a couple hours each week for a mental break, you know, for all of our sanity, just so I can be the best mommy and wife... H "surprised" me with coming home early and having his mom over to help him with the kids and sent me out.
I am so very grateful but would've loved notice so I could, maybe shower.. Maybe see if my sister or a friend was around lol. But little victories.
So I went to the Loft bc I had a $100 gift card from my coworker for Xmas. I was gone maybe 45 minutes at most and I checked in, found out his mom already left. JFC, 45 minutes is all you can spare woman? Like. You see your grandkids twice a month. Anyway, H insisted I stay out longer and he's be fine but knowing they are sick, going through a growth spurt, possibly teething - I came home bc they'd been rough all day. Walked into mind bending screams from Adeline and "hyperventilating" - of course the second I took her she went silent and began sighing - HOW?!?! I thought they don't know better yet?!?!
Upside H got pizza for dinner. Downside, it's buffalo chicken and is fire on my sore throat. Send me to bed, please.
Pro-tip: never check in 😉. What happens at home while you're getting a break is on H to figure out!
kleigh Well I'm glad you got out for a bit, but sorry MIL wasn't more helpful!
We survived the Alligator Farm today with both children and all limbs intact. The weather was perfect and we had a lot of fun! DS, especially, was a huge fan; C pretty much slept through the entire thing and woke up just in time for an ice cream break at DQ. I swear, this child has a sixth sense when it comes to her mother eating.
We're home now, B is in bed but not yet asleep and I can hear him chatting. I'm in the nursery with C and she keeps pulling away to grin and chortle at me. Too sweet. But seriously, girlfriend, go to sleep--mama wants to take a bubble bath.
kleigh Lilah has a cold, too. I hate her being sick. Lillian was never sick like this. I think it's because I also have a toddler who does things like eat dirt and lick tables. Also, agree with tjanca22. Never check-in! We went out tonight and my mom texted me "crying!!" at 8. We laughed and discussed messing with her by saying "went to a movie. Be home in an hour." Or "got a hotel. There's some emergency formula by the couch. See you in the morning!" Eta: We were about 30 seconds from home. If we had still been out we would have headed home. We're not monsters. Lol.
waitwhat That's sounds like a great night! I know DH is going to pass out once Lillian is asleep. Lilah is being a nut anyway. So it might be a late night for me up alone.
Dang tgrimes1980! I'm jealous of that gift! My inlaws are pretty good, but that's amazing.
goldenlove3 Thanks for the heads up. We have an oball. I don't think it's part of the recall (bought in 14), but I'll check anyway.
I feel so guilty most of the time like I'm gonna mess up my kids if they cry... Meaning I know exactly how to soothe them both at this point, but for some reason they both seem to cry more with others - will they have "issues" by being with those other people and crying (in their arms)... So every time I part I just know they're screaming their heads off and I feel like I'm supposed to not let it happen?? But it's nearly impossible, or at the very least it's draining.
I feel so guilty most of the time like I'm gonna mess up my kids if they cry... Meaning I know exactly how to soothe them both at this point, but for some reason they both seem to cry more with others - will they have "issues" by being with those other people and crying (in their arms)... So every time I part I just know they're screaming their heads off and I feel like I'm supposed to not let it happen?? But it's nearly impossible, or at the very least it's draining.
I could have written this word for word. This stuff eats at your soul.
kleigh I know how you feel. I had a hard time going out when Lillian was a baby. The whole time I was gone I'd worry about her and wonder if she was crying or somehow hungry or worried I wasn't there. When I was home with her, I never wanted her to cry. I could barely go to the bathroom or make myself food without feeling guilty (Lillian was a terrible napper and never wanted to be away from me). I made myself crazy. I eventually talked to her dr about it. He said don't leave her to cry all day obviously, but that a little crying wasn't going to hurt her. It helped, but I still felt bad.
With Lilah it's a bit different. I can't just cater to her every need because Lillian needs me, too. I feel bad that Lilah won't get the 1-on-1 time that Lillian did, but she seems happy and healthy. So it's easier for me to go out because I know she's ok and that it's important for me to get time away. Right now it's only 1-2 hours, but it's enough.
Eta: obviously with two babies you're in the same boat of someone else needing you when the other is also crying. I just mean that because I went through it with Lillian, it's easier for me with Lilah now with not being able to cater to her/going out. The experience with the one not the having two is what helped.
ClassyMrsA I just reread and hope that didn't come across as even related toward your post earlier!!! I WANT to be able to go out and know that they'll be ok - that's healthy, I think it's more being a FTM and getting anxiety like they're gonna end up screwed up because of me. That was like 3am-Kristina ruminating about why it's so hard for me to take time (being a FTM) and knowing that I shouldn't have *rushed right home* last night because we all need me to be balanced and have time to myself etc - but it's so hard, you just feel so guilty.. I wonder a lot how having twins compares to having a toddler and a newborn. Not out of competition but actually because in many ways I think having a toddler and a newborn is way harder - that toddler already knows what it was like to have your undivided attention etc whereas with twins, they're kind of learning as we go. On the other hand I think maybe it's physically or logistically harder to have newborn twins because they can't do anything for themselves like hold a bottle or crawl or walk or sit and do something. It's not easy no matter which, and I wish we could all clone ourselves (hmmm, not sure I really mean that) so all our babies have as much of us as they want and need!!
kleigh I was not reading it as related to what I posted earlier. I was just trying to say I was the same way when I was a FTM with Lillian so I get it. I think we all have that or at least have experienced it. I had PPA after I had Lillian, too. I have anxiety normally and having her made it so much worse. I think that what you're doing is probably way harder. You've got two babies! At least I can send the toddler to play or put on a movie or give her a plate of pasta while I take care of Lilah. And no, it's definitely not easy. Even just one baby is hard.
kleigh the guilt is real and will always be there on some level. I think it's much harder as a first time mom because you don't know that you won't mess them up for being away from them, or letting them cry a bit (hint: you won't mess them up). And with 2, you have double the guilt and double the inherent anxiety. As they grow, most moms realize they probably aren't going to damage their kids, so you learn to let a lot more things go. I think you are doing everything normally and everything right. If you feel better to go home early, do it. You'll get comfortable some day. But also, don't feel guilty if you reach that stage now. Hugs!!
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