Post by ldubhawksfan on Mar 3, 2017 17:45:28 GMT -5
I want some other opinions.
Between dh and I, we have 12 nieces and nephews, with 1 sibling left to still have kiddos. 5 are "local" within an hr of us here in CA, and the rest are back in the Midwest where I grew up. A few years ago, we decided we wouldn't buy birthday presents and only Xmas for all of them. It's quite expensive buying for 12, and the biggest reason was that we never see all of them for birthdays, especially the Midwest ones, so it didn't seem fair to buy presents for only some of them. The issue I'm having I don't like showing up empty handed when we actually are able to go to a party, like the one this weekend. I usually bring a card, but know the message is lost on the young kids. Oddly enough, we do bring presents for bday parties when it's say our friend's kid, because we don't want to show up empty handed.
I'm feeling conflicted. Should we try to send cards with $5 in them just so it's something? What do you do for birthdays? Or if you only have a few nieces and nephews, what would you do for double digit numbers?! Lol
TTC #1 starting July 2013, RE last 2014 First Angel baby lost July 11, 2014 IUI #1 with injections successful: EDD 11/24/15 Rainbow baby DD born 11/14/15 TTC#2 October 2016 Second Angel baby lost Jan 5, 2017
Post by squeakyduck on Mar 3, 2017 20:34:42 GMT -5
On one side of my family, my brother and I are the only grandkids, so that aunt and uncle spoiled us. On the other, there are 19 of us and we never exchanged gifts, but I'm sure that some did.
Do what you're comfortable with. Unless the adults are going to gossip and be petty, I'd only do gifts at parties you're invited to and only if you want. You don't have to be perfectly fair.
I'd probably bring a small gift to any parties and just send a card to the rest. If you need a financial "excuse" for gifting the local kids and not the rest, there is a cost per person when throwing a party? You might also consider gifting the out of towners for milestone birthdays if that is something you're interested in. But bottom line, there is no wrong answer. Hopefully none of your family is pressuring you guys.
Fwiw- growing up we lived in the same town as one aunt/uncle. They would get us gifts for our birthdays. other aunts/uncles would get us something if they happened to see us around that time of year or just a small gift when they did see us ( so no one was left out of the siblings). I think you'd be fine to send cards and then bring presents when you're going to a party.
Post by littleredfish on Mar 3, 2017 22:34:26 GMT -5
Like whatsit I grew up very close to one set of aunts/uncles, close in geography only to another and far from 3 others. The ones I was close to personally and geographically got us presents for every birthday, Christmas, Easter, graduation, everything. The close proximity only: for Christmas only because that's when we got together, and it was always just a small gift. The others I think I got one gift from 2 of them ever and 1 nothing I can recall. My parents and myself never cared. We didn't see it as favorites or a score card. I would just do what you're comfortable with.
Post by yummeecookee on Mar 4, 2017 20:05:47 GMT -5
Whew- that's a lot of nieces/nephews! Are you and yh the babies of your families? Growing up, I had 3 aunts that were local to me and they usually got me little prezzies. I have an aunt and uncle, both abroad and they didn't really ever send me anything. I wasn't mad then and I'm not now. NBD. I think if I were in the situation you were in, I would get gifts for the bday parties I actually go to. Soooo, I guess that means the Midwest family misses out.
Whew- that's a lot of nieces/nephews! Are you and yh the babies of your families? Growing up, I had 3 aunts that were local to me and they usually got me little prezzies. I have an aunt and uncle, both abroad and they didn't really ever send me anything. I wasn't mad then and I'm not now. NBD. I think if I were in the situation you were in, I would get gifts for the bday parties I actually go to. Soooo, I guess that means the Midwest family misses out.
Dh is the baby. I'm the oldest with my blood siblings and then have 2 older step. My baby brother is the only one without kids yet.
TTC #1 starting July 2013, RE last 2014 First Angel baby lost July 11, 2014 IUI #1 with injections successful: EDD 11/24/15 Rainbow baby DD born 11/14/15 TTC#2 October 2016 Second Angel baby lost Jan 5, 2017
Post by younglove316 on Mar 5, 2017 11:40:01 GMT -5
I would also probably just do the ones that you are physically attending something for. My husbands brother has three kids but they live out of state, we don't send anything for birthdays and they don't either. I've never really thought twice about it.
My brother has two kids and they live far away. We have been sending stuff for their birthdays and they have been sending stuff for us - but honestly, I think all the gifts becomes too much stuff. I was debating sending like an amazon gift card or something so my brother and SIL can pick something out for them that they know they want.
If I was in town for their birthday and attending a party, I would probably bring a gift. As an alternative to a gift, contributing something to the party such as preparing some food could be an option.
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