Therapy for myself

[redandblue]

No advice to offer, except for kudos for recognizing your own needs. That is the best thing you can possibly do for your future children!

[lvlyldybmp]

I would highly suggest you find someone to help you process your past.
I am still in individual therapy even though I've reduced my trauma triggers a lot, and I find it's still helpful to talk to someone.
I would do research into local therapists, sometimes you'll find them graded on the internet, look for reviews, and also if you find an office you'd like to try, give them an idea of what issues you'd like to address and whether you'd be more comfortable with a man or a woman and see who they can match you with. They know their staff the best.
Also, if you start seeing one and you don't feel like it's a good fit for whatever reason, walk away and try someone else.

[spooko]

Everything lvlyldybmp said. If you call a mental health place with many counselors, the receptionist should work with you for intake info to find someone who fits your insurance and specializes in what you're looking for. I wouldn't necessarily rule someone out after one time, but if it's not a good fit, go with your gut. Ultimately they're there to help you and if you can't be open and honest or aren't meshing, it isn't going to work.

And know that it doesn't have to be forever/ongoing. I've utilized therapy at different points throughout my life to process different things and then moved on until I needed it again.

[CurlySu717]

Hi @coffeeismylyfe! Have you tried this site: therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/

I spent several years working with a great therapist who sadly retired and I have not been able to find another I feel as comfortable with. I found EMDR extremely helpful in reprocessing trauma and reducing triggers; you might want to look for a therapist who specializes in that. I also really recommend looking for a therapist who does structured CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) -- prior to discovering this method, I felt like therapists mostly just listened to me bitch and didn't actually help me get through anything. If you like to read, "Feeling Good" by David Burns is a great intro to CBT.

My grandfather was a clinical psychologist who had a private practice for years and I am a huge fan of therapy. I'm also strongly considering making couples therapy mandatory for my husband if we're going to move forward with our parenthood journey. It's kind of like Russian roulette, trying to find the right one, but it's worth it in the end.