Update to PTC

[mustardseed2007]

Sorry this was another TL;DR so I am doing another thread. I really appreciate you guys weighing in. And I appreciate you putting up with this brain dump. My mind keeps churning on this so it helps to write it down. 

Update: We had our PTC. First, she said if we want him to do kinder he can. But she thinks if he repeats 2nd level then he will be a strong K, vs a struggling one.



She thinks he has the emotional maturity of a 4 or early 5 year old when he should have the maturity of a 5.5 year old based on the way she observes him interacting with his classmates - his interests, the way he communicates. That's why she thinks his core friends are younger. However, she agreed with me that whatever is going on with his maturity, he does not have problems standing in line, throwing fits etc. He's very chill. If he gets mad, he withdraws and pouts. He's a quiet kid.



She says he's behind where he needs to be on letters and numbers both b/c he won't choose the work and because when he chooses the work it takes him longer to do (particularly on numbers) and he has trouble learning and reaching mastery relative to what she normally sees (she's been teaching 32 years...which is shocking to me b/c she looks 45 at the oldest). The memorization component of learning letters and working with numbers is very hard for him. (I have witnessed this as we worked on trying to get him to learn his numbers at home, which we did with flashcards) 


His motor skills related to writing are advanced. Just, you know, he doesn't know his damn ABC's.



I brought up would he do better in a more parochial setting and she kind of responded with - I'm not sure but I like montessori best in general because it makes kids more thoughtful, curious blah blah.



She says if we hold him back we'll explain it to him like, he's going to stay working with his best friend F. 


To help him catch up, we asked her to eliminate his art (and she suggested limiting instead of eliminating, which is fine). And to guide him to numbers and letters more and to focus on getting him caught up while we decide what to do.


Oh on the issue of him being a December birthday, she said she has discussed it with the administator there and they are fine with it even thought they recognized is as an issue also. She has no idea what the issues will be when we try to go to kinder in a different school. I'm guessing it will be an issue if we don't have a documented delay, but I don't know yet. 


For me, I am thinking right now (cause I've been thinking about it all night) that unless he has some other delay (and I'm thinking we will not find one, at least not right now at his age) then he needs to do kinder SOMEWHERE. My fear, which we didn't discuss but I'm going to follow up, is that holding him back given that he's a Dec b-day will disadvantage him in the long run.


I'm still considering whether he needs to do it at his current school or public or possibly a private school where the class will be smaller. I'm concerned about him having problems in public school b/c of his maturity and b/c he can be quiet.

Long Anecdote: Our neighborhood is very suburban, upper class, monogram everything you own type neighborhood.
It makes me kind of twitchy but the people are overall nice.  
Anyway, the neighborhood kids all got together on a very large playdate for almost all the kids his age so they could get to know each other (this is the kind of place we live in, and that is a really nice idea).

But, he did terribly. Several of the kids new each other and kind of cliqued up. He wouldn't approach them. I found him sitting under the slide crying b/c "no one was playing with him". He was too afraid to go on the slide (heights) and too afraid to join the boys who were running around on the field. To be clear, they were not mean to him, but they didn't reach out to them (they were 4-5, I'm sure it didn't occur to them to do it) and he would not take it upon himself to speak to them even when I encouraged him to do so. I got him talking to a little girl that lives on our street and he kind of hung out with her. So. That is coloring all of this for me also. 
FTR they had another playdate later in the summer, only a couple other kids came, and he did well and had fun.


I really am afraid he won't do well in public school where there's multiple classes that combine at recess and he gets swallowed up socially and maybe flies under the radar of teachers b/c he's quiet not hyper or outgoing.


Also, we have playdates with a 5 year old at his school periodically. That kid is a fantastic kid and I think pretty advanced for his age. He and my son get along well although they aren't on the same level in a lot of respects. But apparently unless us moms get them together, they aren't necessarily playing together at school. 

If we do the private route, I would want to do it through 8th grade at least. Talk about money though. Also if he has a learning disability...I have no idea how that would work in private school. Also, there are a couple smaller, less prestigious private schools I feel like we could go to without a huge problem (although I don't really know). But a lot of the private schools have teacher evaluations (from current teachers...not feeling enthusiastic about that) and testing. Although I guess our evaluation will tell us how he will do on those. 

If we do public...I'm going to be a nervous wreck while we see how it goes. If it doesn't go well I can always pull him....I guess. 

If we stay at his current school, I won't be worried about him doing poorly socially but I will be worried he won't actually catch up academically. I'm afraid this learning style isn't for him and also I'm a bit afraid that his teacher has made up his mind about him. Although she is a very kind person who is actually generally known in the school for having high standards relative to the other teacher who teaches the 3-6 class (up to now I've always liked her and DS seems to like her too). 

So. 

[Deleted]

I would consider a different program. I know Montessori is great for some kids, but I have typically seen it not to be so great for kids in that exact situation....where certain of the more "academic" concepts come harder and so they can employ avoidance. Also, he may benefit from being in a setting where he is working on the same thing w a larger group.,.i.e. The whole class or big portions of the class are doing letters, numbers, etc activities together. Also, practice would tend to be repetitive and daily.

I teach in a private school. We are not equipped to handle more severe learning differences, but do offer a lot of individualized attention, small class, and accommodations within reason. There are private schools that handle more. I am biased, but given all you said, he might thrive in a private school, but more structured environment that Montessori.

[librarychica]

I am not an expert, so take this with a grain of salt, but I wouldn't hold back based on what you described. Our Montessori (and maybe this is the incorrect way of doing things because the M my MIL teaches at sounds more like yours) already guides the kids in the way you're describing. They get a lot more control of their tasks than they would in most settings but they can't hang out in art and sensorial all day. Maybe those changes alone would help your son where it is needed. If you stay there, I would push for kindergarten.

You also might find public school less intimidating than you fear. Is there a kindergarten open house coming up? Ours is around this time. Large groups are hard for many kids but,honestly, there is really only one way to figure it out and that is to, well, figure it out. Remember being a kid and how just one good friend made the difference? I am sure if your son ends up in a larger school he will make a friend within a couple weeks and that will make it easier.

Good luck!

[mommyatty]

Ditto what @becominggold said. DD has trouble with her fine motor skills. She's in a private school. They did a ton of testing to see if it was visual integration, weak muscles, etc. They recommended we have her eyes checked to ensure there were no problems with what she was seeing. Now she's doing OT and is just about caught up in terms of her writing and coloring and drawing.

Also, we loved the testing before they admitted her. It was very informative.

[akafred]

It's interesting because DD had some similar issues when she was a second year. She was learning ok (despite some avoidance) but the friends being younger thing applied to her. The teacher did a thing mid year where the kids plotted their birthdays on a timeline and it became obvious why. DD was the only kid in her area; there was no cluster of birthdays near her. There was a cluster about 6 or 8 months older, and a cluster about 6-8 months younger, but nothing right at her age. Since the younger ones were boys and DD is a tomboy; she was playing with them. It actually got better when she was a third year/kindergartener because of attrition, and she became close friends with a little girl several months older who was academically motivated. Anyway IDK if that would help for you or not.

I still didn't read anything about actual observations in your post above, just her conclusions based on the observations. The learning thing is a concern. It may be nothing, but if she has that much experience I wouldn't ignore it. Other than directing him more (and most Montessori's do start directing a bit more in K and beyond), did she have any recommendations about having him evaluated? I'm not saying there is something there, but I would not jump to "it must be that Montessori doesn't work well for him." I hear that a lot, but IME Montessori works well (maybe not optimally but well enough) for all NT kids and those it doesn't work for are often later dx with something more specific.

If it were ME, I would send him to K next year at Montessori where he knows the kids, and look into some evaluations (private or public) to transition him either into public K or public first grade, depending on how this next year goes. I don't think you are in a race or anything.

[xctsclrx]

First I want to say is I think you are right. Holding him back would do more harm than good at this point.

Second, your son is an introvert. Everything you described about him socially is 100% me at his age. It wasn't that I was shy. It was large groups of people exhausted me. Me reaching out to people who knew each other was hard and I would rather someone come to me. I do much better with smaller groups

I don't think you could go a wrong route with Kindergarten. I went to a public school and didn't have issues finding friends. (I moved every few years) It may take a little longer and he might only have two or three good friends. That is okay. If you want to go to private school there are some benefits there too. That is between you and your DH. Personally I would try public kindergarten and go from there. You can always switch to private in first if needed.

[sdlaura]

I am confused by why he can't be on the level of a 'young 5' for kindergarten, and how she's focusing on academic readiness when many kids go to kindergarten with no academic skills like letters or math - kindergarten is supposed to be where kids learn that stuff. They shouldn't need to come in knowing it.

My reaction is colored though by the fact that I am sending my very young 5 to kindergarten in the fall. She turns 5 one week before school starts and we debated it for awhile and decided to send her. So a teacher saying that a young 5 isn't ready for K bothers me. I believe kindergarten should be for 5 years olds, and unless there is a special case, a kid should not need the maturity of a 6-year-old to go to K.

Anyway, in your case I would probably do the public K and try to do some one on one play dates first with some of his future classmates, so he feels more comfortable socially.

[mustardseed2007]

sdlaura, he's actually not a young 5. That's what worries me. He's basically in preK right now and is 5 yrs, 3 months. When Kinder starts in late August, he'll be a late 5, and actually turn 6 less than 4 months in.
If he repeats K or delays going to K, then he'll start K at 6 and actually turn 7 only 4 months into the year. He'll spend most of K as a 7 yo. Which to me, is crazy. Although a counter to that is that he's VERY small for his age. He's ALWAYS going to be small for his age. So a lot of the worries about wanting to be bigger or not wanting to be bigger won't come into play.
But regarding maturity...she also expressed that she's worrying about stressing him out by forcing him to stretch too much. Which I appreciate...but she may not be giving him enough credit there. I would think these things would eventually normalize.

I'll have to look at the birthdays akafred, that may be going on there. The Kindergarten class next year is going to be a small group. This may be part of what's going on.

xctsclrx, both my husband and I are introverts. TBH, neither one of us loved school. Like...we liked the learning aspect but found public school to be kind of a drag socially although it was also fine. I mean, I'm fine. DH is kind of weird. Well...we're both kind of weird. Anyway, this is why the point @becominggold has made really appeals to me. I think if he were in a smaller atmosphere it might help his confidence and that might serve him better in those situations when he has to be in large groups? Maybe?

On the other hand, Widget123, you are absolutely right. I think many many private schools are not equipped to deal with serious learning disabilities. I'm not sure he has one. My sister had dyslexia, I had ADD. I was in a private school for PreK-4th and they worked with me on the ADD, but, at least for me, it wasn't that hard to work on that. A little medication and a little extra attention. Dyslexia is different, though.

On the eval front, she "strongly recommended" we not do it now. Because we'll be spending money and not getting anything definitive like "he's dyslexic". First, I think she uses the word strongly too much.
Second, I feel strongly that she's wrong about that and doesn't understand what we're trying to get at by having him tested. So we're ignoring that advice.

[akafred]

mustardseed2007, in a way she's right about the eval. We did a full psychoeducational eval for DD which cost $1150 and didn't learn much. We already knew she had ADHD, which the eval confirmed. She REALLY wouldn't perform for the test so all we really learned is A) she doesn't test well and B) she isn't extremely behind in any one subject (except spelling but that is expected for a kid who is in Montessori and not an avid reader). It was too early to say for sure that she does or doesn't have dyslexia, but she was pretty satisfied that the only early indicator is the spelling thing which may not be dyslexia. No other early signs were present. So we more or less ruled out dyslexia but not *really* since she's too young to truly rule it in or out. We have no concept of her actual IQ or ability because she simply didn't cooperate well. Sigh.

Still, I am glad we did it because we do know that she doesn't have any major areas of concern including dyslexia. In your case I would tend more toward an ADHD type eval since you have family history and maybe maturity level/kinder readiness which would not cost the full amount we paid nor take as long. It would just be good to get an unbiased opinion on that.

[mustardseed2007]

akafred , The cost is almost exactly that. It sounds like the same test. Even if the whole thing is not useful though I'm hoping we get something out of it. Honestly in situations like this I am (obviously) someone who analyzes and overthinks the decisions to be made and I try to have all the data I can get.

[indyrowergirl]

Given what you've said here (in both posts), I'd put him public school K. A 6yo in K isn't going to get noticed as he will be one of many, but a 7yo definitely will (and even by his peers in 1st). Check the laws in your state as well, some states that allow you to skip K and require 1st as the first year of school would put a 7yo in first, so repeating K at Montessori and then transitioning to public would result in a 1st grade placement, not a repeat K placement.

I would choose public vs private because it's my understanding that in public they are more obligated from a legal sense to provide services to help him catch up to his peer group (but I don't have any experience around this myself). I would also consult the school psych or counselor at your local public school and let them know about your DS's social anxiety and ask for their advice.

I think that a year in K at public would be a bit of "sink or swim." He's either going to do better in the change in environment, or he's going to do worse. If it's worse, you will at least have a better sense of what the issue at hand may be (social immaturity or something deeper) and be in a better place to address it. If all else fails, you could move him back to the Montessori school, or into a different private school. It doesn't have to be one school for the rest of his elementary career (says the girl who moved a lot and went to 5 different schools K-8 and 3 different high schools).

Hugs. I know that figuring this kind of stuff out is so hard. It feels so high-stakes, but it really doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing decision.

[mustardseed2007]

indyrowergirl, this is kind of where I'm leaning I think. (Right now at least, ask me in 5 minutes). You CAN get a waiver here in Texas, and it's very common to redshirt a summer birthday. But that's not what we have here!!

I'm reaching out to some people to see if I can find more info about our public school program and also poking around private schools that might be a fit.

If public school kinder is a disaster at least it's an early disaster. And I think he has a higher chance of success at public if we start him as early as we can. Maybe possibly.

[2chatter]

As you are in TX, I would go public for K next year. The curriculum isn't too crazy for K, and most districts are well resourced for the basic challenges and set up IEPs where needed.

I would talk to the district to see if for the same price you can get any testing done that would result in a diagnosis so they have to honor that - and not let the district do their own testing. Budgets are tight...so....

Having said all that - we decided DS will go to public K. When I asked the ped what to do he said something that had an unintended effect. He said "DS doesn't belong in public or his Montessori. He belongs somewhere like 25kforKinderPrivateSchool. Where they know how to handle exceptionally intelligent kids." Well, since that isn't happening and the world DS will live in is the one of public schools - his neighborhood, his life align to the public school thing - he can just hit the norms there. I was stressing about a problem that didn't exist. The public school provides a pretty uniform education with a minimum of BS - I needed to just lose the idea of "getting it totally right" and overthinking and micro-managing. NOT saying that you are doing those things - but the perspective may help you with your decisions for your DS.

[brachysira]

My DD is the type who picked up a letter puzzle until she knew them. DS would play with cars and trains and never learn letters if it was his choice. School might just solve it all. Indeed check out K round-up. If you live in a fancy neighborhood, then isn't it that way because the schools are great or vice versa? Yes, small private school classes sound nice, but I wouldn't choose that unless public school isn't working out. Plus, private school doesn't solve it all--as some have noted, they may not have the resources. Also, DH went to catholic school and was the social outcast there and wasn't happy until public high school. Even if it's easiest for you to do K at montessori (but not 2 more years there!), I don't think that will be the end all. You can continue to work with him at home. My kids love Starfall, and it's 95% academic. My 4 year-old can read a little and practices with the incentive that she can play a math game, all on this game. My 2 year-old told me that a nickel is worth five cents after playing with it.

About the park--one success and one not so good? This is pretty par for the course. DD is an extrovert and literally will go up to any kids and try to play. She would still act like your son if there were cliquey groups who were not paying attention to her even if they weren't doing it deliberately.

Also, plenty of kids are a mess in K. Some have never been in an organized learning environment. I used to volunteer weekly in K in college, and one kid cried constantly, one kid colored on everything and was always going to the office, etc. It won't be as terrible as you fear.

[traveltheworld]

I would discount the park experience - DS would be a total disaster in that environment too. He does way better one on one. And in terms of not having friends - it really varies from year to year and is highly contingent on the group of kids. Last year, DS had 4 close friends at pre-K. This year, he has none. Not because he is less social, but because out of a classroom of 12, there is only one boy who is quite a bit younger than him.

Unless the evaluation shows something very "off", I'd go for public K. You are in a good area - the school should be decent. And in a way, I think most public K are less intense than Montessori as they may still have some kids who has never been to pre-school before and are still learning how to line up, follow instructions etc.

One of our best friend's mom was the principal for the most prestigious private school in our city for 30 years, and when we asked her if we should put DS in private school, she said that in her view, 80% of the kids will do fine in a good regular public school.

[mommyatty]

Something else to think about with private school is what the K curriculum looks like. In Texas public schools, kids are expected to be able to write their letters by the end of K. Many will get it sooner than that, but mastery isn't really expected until later in the year. At DD's school, they start journaling and are expected to write full sentences (using kid spelling) the first week. So public school may give him more time to catch up. In fact, when we had DD tested, the OT said if she was leaving the private school for public K, they wouldn't recommend OT. But because of the more advanced curriculum at the private school, she was going to be frustrated without some intervention.

[tas1883]

I would just go ahead and enroll him in public K and see what happens. DD's K class was 60% fall birthdays and the other 40% have May-July birthday days. I asked her teacher at PTC "why everything seemed to be a repeat of pre-k" and he said he had about a quarter of the class that had no preschool experience and didn't know any letters or numbers and the goal is to have them caught up by mid year so the first half of the year is just getting the kids all on the same page. DD's biggest complaint is K is the same thing as preschool minus the art, science, and naptime.

I've looked into private school for DD as I think she would flourish. I could swing it for the elementary years but there is no way I could afford middle or high school as that cost is equal to college tuition. So then I run into switching back to public for middle and that possible mess.

[mustardseed2007]

mommyatty - I agree with your point about giving him time to catch up. And he might not even be able to get in to kinder at a private school with his current knowledge base.

Also, the point about many kids being just find in public...Like I said we have a good public school. We paid a premium on our house to get a good public school.

He would be challenged academically I'm sure. I'd just prefer it if he had an opportunity to have a smaller class room. But like 2chatter, said...I probably AM trying to make it perfect.

[sunbutter]

Joining in late and maybe I missed something but I just don't see the issue with a PreK student not knowing his letters. I am biased because my kids attend a school with a very play based preschool and I would never expect a conversation about letter or number comprehension at that level. When asked what they should know at the end of the year letter wise, we are told that they aim to have them recognize their names.
And please don't limit his art!! I know I sound like a hippy with little focus on academics but quite the opposite. I'm a PhD level scientist married to an MD/PhD-we do truly value education but I just think PreK kids are all being forced to conform to some mold that isn't really relevant. If he loves art and being creative, let him spend his days that way!! Most kids will get on board with letters and numbers in time on their own terms and when they don't, good public systems will be able to identify it and address it.
I think you are right that the teacher seems to "have made up her mind." But if this is simply about knowing and wanting to know about letters/numbers and being more comfortable with younger kids, I think it is being really over blown.
If it were me, I would be fine sending him to public kindergarten. I would make it an exciting transition for him, have lots of small play dates with potential classmates over the summer and get to know the teacher early on.
And he would totally get into our private school kindergarten, so if that is something you are truly interested in, don't discount the possibility.

[sunbutter]

Mar 16, 2017 15:35:39 GMT -5 tas1883 said:

I've looked into private school for DD as I think she would flourish. I could swing it for the elementary years but there is no way I could afford middle or high school as that cost is equal to college tuition. So then I run into switching back to public for middle and that possible mess.

Assuming that we move, our kids will switch from a private (PreK through 6) to a public middle and high school. I don't anticipate it being a mess and the private school really prepares them for whatever transition the family chooses. Don't rule out choosing private for elementary school. I think my kids are getting set up to be curious, life-long learners in a really safe and supportive environment. They are also getting a emotional and social education that they would not experience in public which is perfect at this ripe young age. I think they will ready to make the leap into public without much of an issue.

[traveltheworld]

Mar 16, 2017 19:22:19 GMT -5 sunbutter said:

Joining in late and maybe I missed something but I just don't see the issue with a PreK student not knowing his letters. I am biased because my kids attend a school with a very play based preschool and I would never expect a conversation about letter or number comprehension at that level. When asked what they should know at the end of the year letter wise, we are told that they aim to have them recognize their names.
And please don't limit his art!! I know I sound like a hippy with little focus on academics but quite the opposite. I'm a PhD level scientist married to an MD/PhD-we do truly value education but I just think PreK kids are all being forced to conform to some mold that isn't really relevant. If he loves art and being creative, let him spend his days that way!! Most kids will get on board with letters and numbers in time on their own terms and when they don't, good public systems will be able to identify it and address it.
I think you are right that the teacher seems to "have made up her mind." But if this is simply about knowing and wanting to know about letters/numbers and being more comfortable with younger kids, I think it is being really over blown.
If it were me, I would be fine sending him to public kindergarten. I would make it an exciting transition for him, have lots of small play dates with potential classmates over the summer and get to know the teacher early on.
And he would totally get into our private school kindergarten, so if that is something you are truly interested in, don't discount the possibility.

I agree wholeheartedly with this. That's why in one of my earlier posts I asked - do YOU feel like he is behind? Setting aside what his teacher says and the academics, do you or your DH personally feel like he has problems learning and applying new concepts or has problems with concentration or staying on tasks? To me, those are much bigger indicators of academic success later on in life than whether he, at age 5, knows his letters and numbers.

[mustardseed2007]

Do I feel he is behind? I mean, a little, yes. I had noticed that the work he is doing seems to be about a step behind other kids his age. I also do worry about his maturity and being in a large class with kids who are probably more mature than him. I've always worried about that and so was glad he was doing kinder in this montessori environment.

To be fair to his teacher, she said that she worried that pushing him ahead would create unnecessary stress for him and that the reason her teacher hasn't directed him more up to now is because she hasn't wanted to...interrupt his process. That the art he's doing is good for him, the science he's doing is good for him, if he needs extra time to do math that is good for him.
She seems to believe that the extra time of another year in 2nd level will give him the space he needs to kind of, work his way and end up where he needs to be.

Which is really beautiful.

But if he goes anywhere else, I'm afraid he'll be at a disadvantage... so yeah. Bleh.

[2chatter]

Idk if this helps at all either - but while my DS is academically super ahead he is socially way behind. He has poor impulse control and is just plain awkward sometimes - he still clings to us unpredictably when seeing his BFF that he has begged to see, he really likes holding hands or arms or wrapping his around around his buddies and doesn't have good boundaries (two older sisters and two cuddly parents have ruined him). Friends point out his immaturity. Some have asked me what I "plan to do about it".

I'm sending him to public K because they have seen it all, handled it all and it puts him out in the world he will have to master.

Both our boys will be fine wherever they land - if they didn't have awesome moms, it might be harder for them --- but your DS is set. You are in his corner and will help him navigate. It's never all good. It makes me sad, but it's something I have had to learn with my oldest two. I can't prevent/fix/predict/control/set up as much as I would prefer. I'll get off my soapbox now!

[mustardseed2007]

2chatter, you're right. They remind us all the time at his current school - the world isn't perfect so trying to shield them from discomfort is not helpful.

And DS is a big big cuddler, too.

[sunbutter]

Mar 17, 2017 13:37:52 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

Do I feel he is behind? I mean, a little, yes. I had noticed that the work he is doing seems to be about a step behind other kids his age. I also do worry about his maturity and being in a large class with kids who are probably more mature than him. I've always worried about that and so was glad he was doing kinder in this montessori environment.

To be fair to his teacher, she said that she worried that pushing him ahead would create unnecessary stress for him and that the reason her teacher hasn't directed him more up to now is because she hasn't wanted to...interrupt his process. That the art he's doing is good for him, the science he's doing is good for him, if he needs extra time to do math that is good for him.
She seems to believe that the extra time of another year in 2nd level will give him the space he needs to kind of, work his way and end up where he needs to be.

Which is really beautiful.

But if he goes anywhere else, I'm afraid he'll be at a disadvantage... so yeah. Bleh.

"Work?" What work? PreK kids should not have work. Other than following class social rules which it sounds like he excels at.

It honestly sounds like your current school has given you an unrealistic view of what "normal" is. I think you are going to be pleasantly surprised if you move to public K.

[akafred]

Mar 17, 2017 17:01:54 GMT -5 sunbutter said:

Mar 17, 2017 13:37:52 GMT -5 mustardseed2007 said:

Do I feel he is behind? I mean, a little, yes. I had noticed that the work he is doing seems to be about a step behind other kids his age. I also do worry about his maturity and being in a large class with kids who are probably more mature than him. I've always worried about that and so was glad he was doing kinder in this montessori environment.

To be fair to his teacher, she said that she worried that pushing him ahead would create unnecessary stress for him and that the reason her teacher hasn't directed him more up to now is because she hasn't wanted to...interrupt his process. That the art he's doing is good for him, the science he's doing is good for him, if he needs extra time to do math that is good for him.
She seems to believe that the extra time of another year in 2nd level will give him the space he needs to kind of, work his way and end up where he needs to be.

Which is really beautiful.

But if he goes anywhere else, I'm afraid he'll be at a disadvantage... so yeah. Bleh.

"Work?" What work? PreK kids should not have work. Other than following class social rules which it sounds like he excels at.

It honestly sounds like your current school has given you an unrealistic view of what "normal" is. I think you are going to be pleasantly surprised if you move to public K.

Just to levelset: In Montessori, EVERYTHING is work.

[seamonster]

I think he'd be better served in a public K environment where he's on the same level as other kids if the school pushes repeating 2nd year. The maturity will come and it sounds like other than playing with younger kids and not being an extrovert, he sounds like he'd be able to handle the rules of a kindergarten class.

[billybumbler]

I'm late to this but I just wanted to say that I agree with sunbutter.

I'm not in the US and from some posts I see it seems like preschool and pre K in the US is much more academic than here. Here, up to age 5 it's considered early childhood education and kids are not expected to know any content like letters or numbers. Of course they do learn some through play, stories, songs etc. but it's not a prerequisite for 1st grade and no one is ever held back.

All of this to say nothing you wrote indicates to me that he won't learn letters and numbers as expected when the time comes. In your shoes I would put him in public K and if a problem arises deal with it then.

[traveltheworld]

In Finland, which has one of the best education systems in the world, children don't start formal schooling till age 7. I do find it sad that our country is forcing so many academic requirements onto hyouher and younger kids.

That said, I can totally relate to how you feel. I think being high achievers ourselves, it's difficult to not want everything to be perfect for our children. But I honestly don't see any major red flags from what you've said here, and hopefully the evaluation will give you more peace of mind.

[akafred]

Mar 17, 2017 21:25:36 GMT -5 traveltheworld said:

In Finland, which has one of the best education systems in the world, children don't start formal schooling till age 7. I do find it sad that our country is forcing so many academic requirements onto hyouher and younger kids.

That said, I can totally relate to how you feel. I think being high achievers ourselves, it's difficult to not want everything to be perfect for our children. But I honestly don't see any major red flags from what you've said here, and hopefully the evaluation will give you more peace of mind.

I totally agree. And most Montessori's wouldn't push this. So I am still confused.