My story/intro (loss mentioned) - update
Feb 17, 2015 14:32:26 GMT -5
Post by cabgirl on Feb 17, 2015 14:32:26 GMT -5
Update: Thank you for the kind words everyone. I decided to have a second ultrasound to be sure, and we're leaving for that in a few minutes. Sadly, H wasn't with me yesterday at the u/s that showed no heartbeat, and because of what happened earlier in the pregnancy (with the misdiagnosed blighted ovum), he has hope that this is just another mistake and we will hear a heartbeat today. I know this isn't going to happen. It was a transvaginal u/s, and there was no heartbeat - I saw for myself. He cried and grieved yesterday, but now he's hopeful again, and it's going to break my heart all over again watching the reality of this hit him.
This is so hard. I can't stop crying. I'm torn between not being able to wait for the d&c so I can have some closure, and dreading the d&c because then the baby inside me will be gone, and I'll be empty.
Well, here I am again. I made a post here at the end of January, when I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum and given a 99% chance of miscarrying. They turned out to be wrong, and an ultrasound two days later showed a baby with a heartbeat. My husband and I were thrilled, obviously, and got comfortable telling a few people and getting attached to our baby. We had been trying for 6 months, and the baby was - and is - very much loved and wanted. Deep down, though, I had a strange, horrible feeling that I couldn't shake that something wasn't right. I had very few pregnancy symptoms, and some of them disappeared early on.
We had two ultrasounds following the initial one that showed the surprise heartbeat, and the baby was growing. Everything looked perfect, except that he/she was measuring 2 days behind, which I was assured was perfectly normal and no cause for concern. I went in for yet another ultrasound today, because I couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong - I had very few pregnancy symptoms, and most of them had slowly gone away. Today's ultrasound showed that the baby caught up in growth, measuring a perfect 8w6d, but had no heartbeat. My doctor thinks the baby had just died, maybe this morning or last night. I knew the moment I saw my baby on the screen. He or she was bigger, and I could see the head, and more detail - but no heartbeat. The heartbeat at our last appointment had been so obvious, clear and strong and fast. It was just gone.
I'm scheduled for a D&C on Thursday morning. And right now I'm just heartbroken, and also torn. My doctor said she was 100% certain the baby was dead. But when her nurse practitioner misdiagnosed me with the blighted ovum last month, she said she was 99% sure, and was wrong. I'm wondering if I should go back for another scan tomorrow just to be sure, or if that would do nothing but put me through more heartache, seeing that perfect looking baby with no heartbeat again. Somehow there's just the tiniest shred of doubt in my mind that this is true and my baby is gone. It's a very tiny part of me, though, and the rest of me is aware that I've known from the start that this would happen. I even knew it would be a missed miscarriage. I guess my question, for anyone who's gotten this far, is: what would you do? Would you go for another scan just to eliminate the tiny bit of irrational doubt/hope? Or would you just trust your doctor's word?
This is so hard. I can't stop crying. I'm torn between not being able to wait for the d&c so I can have some closure, and dreading the d&c because then the baby inside me will be gone, and I'll be empty.
Well, here I am again. I made a post here at the end of January, when I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum and given a 99% chance of miscarrying. They turned out to be wrong, and an ultrasound two days later showed a baby with a heartbeat. My husband and I were thrilled, obviously, and got comfortable telling a few people and getting attached to our baby. We had been trying for 6 months, and the baby was - and is - very much loved and wanted. Deep down, though, I had a strange, horrible feeling that I couldn't shake that something wasn't right. I had very few pregnancy symptoms, and some of them disappeared early on.
We had two ultrasounds following the initial one that showed the surprise heartbeat, and the baby was growing. Everything looked perfect, except that he/she was measuring 2 days behind, which I was assured was perfectly normal and no cause for concern. I went in for yet another ultrasound today, because I couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong - I had very few pregnancy symptoms, and most of them had slowly gone away. Today's ultrasound showed that the baby caught up in growth, measuring a perfect 8w6d, but had no heartbeat. My doctor thinks the baby had just died, maybe this morning or last night. I knew the moment I saw my baby on the screen. He or she was bigger, and I could see the head, and more detail - but no heartbeat. The heartbeat at our last appointment had been so obvious, clear and strong and fast. It was just gone.
I'm scheduled for a D&C on Thursday morning. And right now I'm just heartbroken, and also torn. My doctor said she was 100% certain the baby was dead. But when her nurse practitioner misdiagnosed me with the blighted ovum last month, she said she was 99% sure, and was wrong. I'm wondering if I should go back for another scan tomorrow just to be sure, or if that would do nothing but put me through more heartache, seeing that perfect looking baby with no heartbeat again. Somehow there's just the tiniest shred of doubt in my mind that this is true and my baby is gone. It's a very tiny part of me, though, and the rest of me is aware that I've known from the start that this would happen. I even knew it would be a missed miscarriage. I guess my question, for anyone who's gotten this far, is: what would you do? Would you go for another scan just to eliminate the tiny bit of irrational doubt/hope? Or would you just trust your doctor's word?
