Post by marygracerich on Mar 20, 2017 15:00:41 GMT -5
I'm at a weird point in mom-ness. G is sitting on the couch eating trail mix out of a snack cup and watching the news. I am dying at the cute and I can't figure out why.
emu0013 oh wow, that is a tough spot to be in. Is there a specific reason that your DH and his sister are on the outs?
I have a similar situation w one of my sisters. She was out of our entire family's lives for 10 years....as of 2012 she rekindled a relationship w/ one of my sisters and my parents. But that is bc my sister & parents went looking for her. My sister did it bc her kids (my nieces) started asking questions.
But since S has been born she has inevitably been around for things...like holidays, birthday dinners. She never directly pays S any attention. But at least her boyfriend is super nice.
It is definitely her loss. But for her own childs sake I hope she can tries to repair these rocky relationships.
I feel you. Today my coworker tried to educate me about the history of feminism. His knowledge is based solely on one article that he read online. The biggest learning for him? "That there are so many feminist characters/people in history that the modern notion of feminism is really inaccurate! And people see Athena as a feminist hero but really she actually had more manly, male, warrior-type attributes".
He's a good guy but is such a know-it-all. And it's painfully obvious by this exchange that he's also woefully ignorant. If one person can be both at the same time.
I literally just walked away mid sentence. Rude but it quickly would have devolved into me handing him his own ass.
emu0013 oh wow, that is a tough spot to be in. Is there a specific reason that your DH and his sister are on the outs?
I have a similar situation w one of my sisters. She was out of our entire family's lives for 10 years....as of 2012 she rekindled a relationship w/ one of my sisters and my parents. But that is bc my sister & parents went looking for her. My sister did it bc her kids (my nieces) started asking questions.
But since S has been born she has inevitably been around for things...like holidays, birthday dinners. She never directly pays S any attention. But at least her boyfriend is super nice.
It is definitely her loss. But for her own childs sake I hope she can tries to repair these rocky relationships.
Mil left dh and his brother and sister to be with a man she was having an affair with. Fil had full custody until sil turned 16 she didn't want any rules and moved in with mil and her husband. Dh and fil are very close and it makes her mad. Fil has become close to my girls and myself. Sil got really pissed when fil came to our house for Christmas and threw a temper tantrum yelling at fil that she was his daughter not me. It's always something with her. I really don't know, she just has never liked me, she didn't think dh should have left Canada to move to the states with me.....
Post by bethypoo83 on Mar 20, 2017 20:38:23 GMT -5
emu0013 Clearly your SIL is immature and needs to work on her relationship building skills. I think you're right on this one, it's her loss. Sorry you have to deal with this!
Post by bethypoo83 on Mar 20, 2017 20:51:37 GMT -5
We had what we refer to as a "desk drop" today where one of the publishers that we work with left a copy of a book for each of us on our desks.
Today's book is "The Handmaid's Tale", which is currently being made into a television series and is one of the most iconic pieces of Canadian literature in the last 50 years. I'm ashamed to say I haven't read it before but I'm diving in tonight since DH is super sick and J has been in bed since 730.
Love love love a night spent reading a good book. It's good for the soul.
Ug my feminism is raging. At pick up M wanted to hug all her friends goodbye. It was so cute. Her teacher starts telling me how one of the boys is "such a ladies man and always wants to hug all the girls" he holds his arms out and they're like "ugg, again? Okaaay, what ever" because they "know it makes him happy".
Hdhsjehdjakdbrudu THIS IS THE FUCKING PROBLEM, AND IT STARTS BEFORE AGE 2!!!! I didn't say anything to the teacher and I wouldn't, cause I recognize he's just a toddler trying to hug his friends. But it was a good reminder of how engrained this shit is, and how hard we have to work at home to smash the fucking patriarchy.
FTR they did tell M to back off when certain kids said no to a hug, so I know they'd say the same to this boy. It just felt like such "lil ladies man boys will be boys" bullshit.
Re The Aunt stuff...I'm sure this is going to be an UO but here it goes. My sister is older than me and isn't married and doesn't want (or even really like) kids. She never sees DS unless we're at a family event together. She has watched him twice for very short periods of time because no one else could do it (we live in the same town). I sometimes send her pictures of him but she never really asks about him. She definitely doesn't dislike him but kids aren't her thing. Being an aunt or uncle is something that happens to you because of someone else's choice. I don't think it makes you a shitty person because you aren't involved in your niece's or nephew's life. It was MY choice to have a child. I don't think that my sister has an obligation to be something to my child.
ETA I also don't think what someone is like as an aunt or uncle is indicative of the type of parent they will be.
Re The Aunt stuff...I'm sure this is going to be an UO but here it goes. My sister is older than me and isn't married and doesn't want (or even really like) kids. She never sees DS unless we're at a family event together. She has watched him twice for very short periods of time because no one else could do it (we live in the same town). I sometimes send her pictures of him but she never really asks about him. She definitely doesn't dislike him but kids aren't her thing. Being an aunt or uncle is something that happens to you because of someone else's choice. I don't think it makes you a shitty person because you aren't involved in your niece's or nephew's life. It was MY choice to have a child. I don't think that my sister has an obligation to be something to my child.
ETA I also don't think what someone is like as an aunt or uncle is indicative of the type of parent they will be.
I totally agree with you 100%, it has been her that has called us crying about how she is upset that she was a shitty aunt, and wants to be involved in the kids life and each time we tell her she is welcome to do what makes her happy and then nothing changes and 6 months later she calls crying again or messaging about it. We have told her it is up to her regarding how involved not involved she is and it does not matter one way or the other to us. I thought it quite strange that it was a big secret from us that she was pregnant....the whole situation with her is just odd, and has been for at least the last 15 years.
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