So I was changing Willow this morning and she had a car. Ash came over, presumably to steal the car. Kept crouching by her head and reaching towards her. "No Asher, that's Willow's car." He stands up, then keeps doing it. Then he says "Wiwow" and I realize he's not trying to take the car. And he says "Wiwow!" And crouches down and hugs her. For like a full minute. I am dead. This is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Of course I was changing poop so no pics.
So I was changing Willow this morning and she had a car. Ash came over, presumably to steal the car. Kept crouching by her head and reaching towards her. "No Asher, that's Willow's car." He stands up, then keeps doing it. Then he says "Wiwow" and I realize he's not trying to take the car. And he says "Wiwow!" And crouches down and hugs her. For like a full minute. I am dead. This is the cutest thing I've ever seen. Of course I was changing poop so no pics.
My kids have started taking their milk sippies to each other and trying to comfort each other when they're upset. Yesterday G was in time out for banging on our 100+ year old windows. R tried to figure out how to take down the gate or climb over it so he could be with G. ❤
We picked up our nursery furniture this weekend, and opened everything today. They sent the wrong dresser after waiting over a month for it to come in. I pulled every card - twin, high risk pregnancy with six weeks to go. Someone is calling me tomorrow to rectify the situation...
I am once again pissed at h. He ignored two screaming babies while I herded our menagerie inside. He only came upstairs to help with bedtime after I took both babies upstairs and started the bedtime routine.
He was extremely irritable yesterday and complained that he could barely get 15 minutes at a time to read after I had spent all weekend with melty, angry babies. I didn't get the chance to change clothes at all yesterday and couldn't remember the last time I had showered. I just need a break to have a migraine in peace.
Me: 30 DH: 29; Married: September, 2010 TTC #1: April 2013 Benched: May 2013 Cancer(DH) Off the Bench: September 2014 July 2015 ER low sperm count and motility(radiation side effect). FET September 1,2015. BFP 9/9/15.- 3 on the way.
piccyami, I'm sorry about your H. I know the feeling! The first year sucks so bad for me and Mh/our relationship. Not making excuses but I feel like sometimes the spouses have a harder time adjusting than the mom's. It's like they have no clue how much work we do every day and when to realize we need help. It will get better. It definitely got better with my oldest once she was a bit older like 9ish months and not so overwhelming all the time. We're almost there with the twins but this is our second time around so I feel like Mh was more confident and had a better idea of what needed to be done from the getgo.
piccyami he wants to read??? Like, a book, for fun? I'm sorry but YH needs a major reality check. Unless it's for work/school, in which case have him wear a baby and do it standing up, which is how H did all his schoolwork the first few months.
Either way, you need to assert yourself and get your needs met so you don't crash. H still sometimes gets frustrated if I want to shower, brush my teeth, etc when he has his own idea of how things should play out... but I don't need permission to get dressed or eat breakfast or do whatever it takes to feel like a human being. And if he has a problem with that - tough noogies, you're a dad now.
For some dads it helps to give them a very specific role. Like in the morning when we get up for the day, H knows that it's his job to change their diapers while I set myself up to nurse. So we never argue about who will do that, because unless he has to leave for work before they are awake, the morning change is his job.
piccyami, I'm so sorry. YH sounds a lot like mine. He was really resentful in the beginning and always trying to get out of taking care of them. It took him a long time to realize that he had the power to choose to enjoy them, if that makes sense, and I understand how hard it can be to take time for yourself when your spouse is an asshat about it- it's almost seems easier just to suck it up and do everything. I don't have a solution, just solidarity and to say I've been there and it did get better.
Ok talk to me about these ultrasound weights. I know they're estimates. But today at 34 weeks, they estimated these two at 5lb 6oz each! My grandma made me super paranoid telling me stories about people in my family who had 9lb plus twin babies. dukegirlsc, mustloveerica, LydiaDeetz do you remember what yours were estimated at at 34 weeks? I'm mostly just curious- I know all that matters is that they grow and they're healthy.
Post by requiressnacks on Mar 21, 2017 11:42:46 GMT -5
piccyami, I am so sorry that happened and I am rolling my eyes sofaking hard at YH right now. He is complaining about not being able to READ A BOOK? MH has said a million dumb things, but that might take the cake right there.
I have no advice really except to somehow make sure that you are getting some time for yourself. And if he's home, you should make him help with bedtime. No exceptions.
Post by requiressnacks on Mar 21, 2017 11:47:11 GMT -5
and +1 to what bocaburger said - specific tasks have really helped us. MH washes all the bottles because he doesn't do a lot of the other stuff. He likes having an important job, that doesn't involve soothing babies or some more of the "softer" tasks.
Thanks, guys. He decided to stay home today, so I got to do pretty much everything to get babies ready and in the car today. He did hand wash two bottles this morning for daycare (daycare has a special label, so we have specific daycare bottles) since I opted not to do all the prep things last night.
I'm planning to have another CTJ with him tonight. I'm not going to get home as soon as usual today because I'm taking the chance to go pick up some stuff on my own and then I'll pretty much grab babies, take them home, feed them, put them to bed, and run out the door to the multiples meeting, so he's pretty much on his own all day today. I'm hoping he'll be more in the mood to talk tonight.
Post by requiressnacks on Mar 21, 2017 11:49:11 GMT -5
DVMmomma, My last ultrasound (36 weeks) measured a little higher than they actually were. I think they both measured like 5 1/2 lbs and then ended up being 4 lb 6 oz and 5 lb 3 oz. It was in the ballpark though.
DVMmomma, I think Z measured somewhere around 4 pounds at 34 weeks and W was somewhere around 5 or 6 pounds. They had a measurement in the week before they were born, and Z measured 5.5 pounds (born at just under 5 pounds) and W measured at 7 pounds 9 ounces (right on target). Their growth really slowed down in the last couple weeks. There just wasn't any room left.
piccyami, any chance he has anxiety? My DH does and with our first it manifested in the ways you're describing. Though he wasn't quite so dickish and would 'let' me go shower if I asked him to watch her for a while.
Post by requiressnacks on Mar 21, 2017 11:53:06 GMT -5
piccyami, I don't want to shit all over your husband, but hand washing 2 bottles IS NOT ENOUGH. You are doing so many things (picking them up, feeding, bedtime)....if he's home he's got to step it up.
I hope he is receptive to your CTJ and starts pitching in. And I'm glad you're getting out to your meeting.
DVMmomma, yes, he has diagnosed high anxiety and the early days were tough, but he's much better now. I wish I could get him to go talk to someone again.
requiressnacks, I'm right there with you. Washing 2 bottles isn't enough, especially in the mornings. I wish he would want to step up and ask me what to do or just pick up a crying baby without prompting.
Ok talk to me about these ultrasound weights. I know they're estimates. But today at 34 weeks, they estimated these two at 5lb 6oz each! My grandma made me super paranoid telling me stories about people in my family who had 9lb plus twin babies. dukegirlsc, mustloveerica, LydiaDeetz do you remember what yours were estimated at at 34 weeks? I'm mostly just curious- I know all that matters is that they grow and they're healthy.
My last growth scan was 32 weeks & they were 3 lbs 14 oz & 3 lbs 11 oz. they were born 3 weeks later at 4 lbs 15 oz & 4 lbs 13 oz.
Ok talk to me about these ultrasound weights. I know they're estimates. But today at 34 weeks, they estimated these two at 5lb 6oz each! My grandma made me super paranoid telling me stories about people in my family who had 9lb plus twin babies. dukegirlsc, mustloveerica, LydiaDeetz do you remember what yours were estimated at at 34 weeks? I'm mostly just curious- I know all that matters is that they grow and they're healthy.
At 33 weeks mine were estimated 5lbs 6oz. They were born 2 weeks later at 5lbs 5oz and 5lbs 3oz. So the estimate was definitely off. They should have been more like 6lbs+ at 35 weeks from the estimate.
Ok talk to me about these ultrasound weights. I know they're estimates. But today at 34 weeks, they estimated these two at 5lb 6oz each! My grandma made me super paranoid telling me stories about people in my family who had 9lb plus twin babies. dukegirlsc, mustloveerica, LydiaDeetz do you remember what yours were estimated at at 34 weeks? I'm mostly just curious- I know all that matters is that they grow and they're healthy.
We didn't have a 34 week scan. Only a 32 & 36. At our 36 they said Baby A 6 lbs and Baby B 6 lb 2 oz. At 37+ 1 Baby A was 5lb 13oz so not too far off and Baby B was 5 lb 3 oz, way off. But they were having such a hard time measuring him I assumed that measurement would be.
IUI#1 12-02-15 BFP 12-17-15 CP 12-20-14 IUI#2 01-08-15 BFP 01-23-15, MMC 2-24-15, D&C 2-27-15, MC trisomy 20 IVF#1 with ICSI 5-15 16R/12M/12F/4 b PGS-all abnormal IVF#2 with ICSI 8-15 26R/24M/24F/7 b PGS - all abnormal IVF#3 with ICSI 2-17 13 R/12M/7F/5 b PGS all abnormal IVF#4 DE with IMSI 5-14 30R/25M/22F/14B PGS 10 normals! FET 7/15 2 PGS normal embies!
Ok cool. Sounds like at least these ultrasounds overestimate, not under. I can handle that. Haha. Again I guess I have no choice in the matter, just curious. Thanks guys!
piccyami, he should definitely talk to someone! Easier said than done I know. I remember threatening divorce with mine in the past. The one sided parenting is no joke. It takes a serious toll on a mama. Take care of yourself ❤
Ok talk to me about these ultrasound weights. I know they're estimates. But today at 34 weeks, they estimated these two at 5lb 6oz each! My grandma made me super paranoid telling me stories about people in my family who had 9lb plus twin babies. dukegirlsc, mustloveerica, LydiaDeetz do you remember what yours were estimated at at 34 weeks? I'm mostly just curious- I know all that matters is that they grow and they're healthy.
My girls measured 5lb and 5lb 4oz at 33w, 6days. They were born at 37 weeks at 5lb10oz and 6lb4oz.
Ok talk to me about these ultrasound weights. I know they're estimates. But today at 34 weeks, they estimated these two at 5lb 6oz each! My grandma made me super paranoid telling me stories about people in my family who had 9lb plus twin babies. dukegirlsc, mustloveerica, LydiaDeetz do you remember what yours were estimated at at 34 weeks? I'm mostly just curious- I know all that matters is that they grow and they're healthy.
I don't remember exactly, 4ish lbs maybe? I will add that the night before c section they said A was 6 lbs and B was 6lbs 10oz. A was 6lbs 1oz and B was 6lbs. I would only take those measurements as guesses.
Randoms 3/20Mar 21, 2017 15:59:01 GMT -5via mobile
Post by mc13 on Mar 21, 2017 15:59:01 GMT -5
I made E an eye appointment to check for possible lazy eye. I made it for next Thursday because MIL will be here visiting. She can watch DD1 and A. I can't stop thinking about how it's going to be SO weird going out with only 1 kid, let alone it being only 1 of the twins.
Randoms 3/20Mar 21, 2017 17:35:35 GMT -5via mobile
Post by requiressnacks on Mar 21, 2017 17:35:35 GMT -5
That moment when your H calls you at the time he is supposed to be home to tell you he's working late. I've only done daycare drop off, worked all day, daycare pickup and now bedtime. No big deal.
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