Surgery & IVF - Round II Newbie

[bean17]

Hi All,

First post as my friend suggested the website to help cope with some of the trouble I have been having lately. I'm on track to have my second FET next week as the first failed to implant. I'm having trouble dealing with the process and the physical/emotional toll that it has taken.

Background: My husband and I were trying to conceive when I started getting pain on one side of my body. When I visited the doctor they did a vaginal ultrasound and determined it was just minor ovarian cysts and it shouldn't impede becoming pregnant. A few months later I woke up on Sunday feeling fine until later that afternoon. I began having some cramps and feeling nauseous, which at the time, I thought was attributed to potentially being pregnant. A couple hours later, I was curled up on the bathroom floor in excruciating pain and throwing up. We rushed to the ER as we assumed it was an Appendicitus. Unfortunately, it was not. They found fluid in my Fallopian tubes. The next day I went back to my dr. With an elevated white blood count , they admitted me to the hospital to begin an aggressive treatment plan to address the infection, this was followed by a couple of weeks of antibiotics. No known cause for the infection (all tests negative) so they think the likely cause was an ectopic pregnancy or a cyst. Ultimately, I had both tubes removed in November. There really was no option to keep them as one had completely twisted and it was potentially dangerous to my health. It's been really hard to deal with this because I am stuck on the fact that one second I was fine and literally the next I was on the floor.

Current: I had a very successful retrieval and was hopeful for my first transfer as we had a prefect day 5 embryo. It didn't take and to say the least, I have been devasted and have lost my faith in the process.

Getting geared up for another transfer for next week. Taking estrace and waiting on the go ahead to start projesturone and other meds. Also, I've been taking synthroid as my TSH levels were not in-line.
Since starting IVF the stress or the meds or both had taken my toll and caused me to gain weight. I've tried to counteract this with increased workouts but no luck and it seems to be climbing. It just seems like another blow while I'm down.

I know I have only been through one cycle but it's following a very traumatic period. As such, I'm not sure I have even been able to heal from the emotional stress of the surgery but don't want to delay moving forward.. Any advice/tips on gearing up for another cycle or how to handle all this would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

[ProfessorChaos]

Why the dirty delete?

[bean17]

Mar 22, 2017 9:55:08 GMT -5 ProfessorChaos said:

Why the dirty delete?

This process is up and down. This morning at my Dr I just didn't want that it there anymore. I still don't know how people receive my story and don't want to be judged.

[bean17]

Mar 22, 2017 9:55:08 GMT -5 ProfessorChaos said:

Why the dirty delete?

This process is up and down. This morning at my Dr I just didn't want that it there anymore. I still don't know how people receive my story and don't want to be judged.

[bean17]

Mar 22, 2017 9:55:08 GMT -5 ProfessorChaos said:

Why the dirty delete?

This process is up and down. This morning at my Dr I just didn't want that it there anymore. I still don't know how people receive my story and don't want to be judged.

[ProfessorChaos]

Mar 22, 2017 9:58:45 GMT -5 bean17 said:

Mar 22, 2017 9:55:08 GMT -5 ProfessorChaos said:

Why the dirty delete?

This process is up and down. This morning at my Dr I just didn't want that it there anymore. I still don't know how people receive my story and don't want to be judged.

FYI it's considered very rude to delete a post. Also, you needn't explain to me that this process is up and down. 

[ironbaby]

Well, this was weird.

bean17, everyone here has been through the ringer. I don't recall anything standing out about your original post that would have brought down any judgment whatsoever.

[bean17]

Added it back verbatim. Not sure how deleting my post was rude as it wasn't in response to anyone else.

[fikafairy67]

Typically people delete posts only if they are either inappropriate or contain personal information (e.g. identifying information).

To delete a post, especially after others read and respond to you in support, IS rude. Many women here have been through the wringer with this process, and are a really supportive group. When we take the time to reply and support each other, deleting is essentially disregarding us.

If you feel you HAVE to delete, a warning is usually warranted - like "I may delete this post later since I'm all over the place emotionally about sharing this" - or better yet, don't post unless you are 100% sure you are ready to share whatever you are typing.

I agree with the others, there's no judgment in this group, and certainly nothing in your original post anyone would side-eye for any reason.

[lillee]

Dealing with IF is a rollercoaster.
I had one tube and ovary removed due to a large tumor, it is an emotional process.
When my stress levels became overwhelming I went to a therapist who specializes in infertility. I found it really helpful. I'm actually going back next week before my next FET. Acupuncture also helped me with stress.
I also gained weight with IVF. I've just decided to eat as best I can, exercise, and accepted the weight gain as part of the process. I know it sucks but I figure once this is done, I can work on losing the weight.
Good luck with your next cycle.

[ProfessorChaos]

I did not have my tubes removed, but one week ago today I went under anesthesia expecting one or both of them to come out. It was very difficult to process, even though the chances of ever conceiving on my own are microscopic. When I was first told that removing my tubes could be helpful I talked to other women who had them out, and they all told me they eventually felt relieved. First of all, taking them out usually addressed immediate health concerns. Also, infected tubes can greatly impact chances of pregnancy, so removing them helps that a lot. Also, they never ever have to worry about surprise pregnancies again. While this is a double-edged sword, it was freeing to them that they'd never have to worry about wondering if their period was later and etc again. This was especially true for the older women for whom chromosomally abnormal pregnancies and losses were more likely.

That's not to say that anyone should rejoice about having their tubes out, it just means that after a while the women who did were no longer upset about it and even saw some good points. I can imagine it is more complicated for you since it was so sudden and traumatic. Many of us on this board have sought out counseling to deal with all the emotions that come from IF, and it sounds like that could really benefit you. Are you sure you're emotionally ready for more treatments? It doesn't get easier when you're actively on the roller coaster of hormone treatments, especially if they fail.

As for the weight gain, I think that's nearly universal. It sucks. Hopefully we'll all be able to exercise more once we're off the roller coaster.

[lemonliz]

I think one of the things that I have learned from being a part of this community is that I am not alone. Every single feeling going through this process, others here can validate. My grief is not unique and that somehow makes it easier to carry.

I hope you stick around so that this comes to help you, too.

[woodenshoes]

******loss mentioned******
I am sorry you are here. This journey is very difficult.

My story is similar to yours. I have had two ectopic pregnancies. I had the methotrexate shot with the first one, which was in June 2015. The second one was this past January. It was removed via laparoscopy. I knew going into the surgery that I was losing my right tube. I also was told there was a chance I would lose my left tube, and I did. It sucks.

I hope your transfer next week goes well.

[monika]

Hey, I hope you are doing good. IVF procedure is like that. It involes a lot of ups and downs. You just have to be mentally and emotionally prepared for that. I hope this process works out. Just stay positive and hope for the best. There are few things you can do which will help. Start eating heathy food items. People neglect this but there are certain nutrients that are really important for your body. Also, yoga is really important. It will keep your mind calm. I know there is so much going on therefore, you need some ease of mind. I hope the very of luck to you. Sending baby dust your way. Do keep us updated.

[amy12]

Sorry to hear what you are going through. It must have left you scattered. First infertility and then failed IVF. But now you would know that it can fail. Being realistic is important here. Don't worry about it much though. If it fails, you can look at other options like surrogacy.

[emmajoe303]

"Hi there hope and belief that you are doing awesome. After reading the long paragraph that you write down your whole story. You r handwork and the support of your husband is the predicable. You people did the handwork and face the many problems but thatch not the end that surgery will stop your struggles. you people be confident and and strong one day you will must have the success and will be blessed by the bay for that you must have to one go for surrogacy , surrogacy is the process that is the way for you to have a baby but for that you must have to select the best clinic of Ukraine. So, at the end of my message i will suggest the infertility problem facing women to go for the best clinic only because the clinic matters than the procedure i will say for Ukraine [DELETED] the best places having high success ratio from another place in the world.
"

[allison]

Dear dear. It is really heartwrenching to hear your story. Infertility is a very miserable issue. Many of us break down. Stress out. And make ourselves miserable. You need to stay strong. This is your test. And you have to prove that you have enough strength to overcome this. To fight your way out of it. There are so many options to treat this. So many alternatives. Why don't you look out for them? You have all the right to stay happy. You just need to make the correct decision. And you shall find your luck. Cheers.

[trisha098]

I am sorry for the flure. I want to say that don't lose hope. If you lose hope you will lose everything. You are not the only one facing the failure dear. It happens with many IPs. If you keep up the spirits you will see the life changing. Many IPs get the good news even after multiple cycles.

[saraqueen]

Hey there! I hope you are feeling better now. IVF is a complicated procedure. It has its ups and downs like every other thing. Just don't think about it much. Many procedures fail because of stress. Stress can really have a bad impact on your body. After that try to do some exercise or even yoga, both will help you to relax your body. Acupuncture is also a great thing to balance the energy of your body. Clinics play an important role in this too, so make you are opting for a clinic with high success rate. But if it's still not working then maybe IVF is not the right treatment for you. Then go for Surrogacy, Surrogacy is also a safe and successful treatment for this. I can assure you about it because I m having it right now at a clinic abroad. I hope this helps you. Stay Blessed!

[barbaraww]

Hi! I hope you are doing well. IVF is a successful treatment but it's risky and complex. You never know what's going to happen next. It really works but for most people, it takes more than 1 cycle to make it successful. Many of my friends have conceived with the help of it but for everyone, it took 2 or more cycles. I have also started my first IVF cycle at this clinic abroad. Things are looking great so far. I hope this is my time. Everything will be alright for you too. Just stay strong and keep trying. Good Luck. Stay blessed. Take good care of yourself. Sending baby dust your way.

[gtddiane]

In case anyone is interested, Gretchen had been trying for over 4 years to get pregnant through IVF, and she finally is. She will be sharing her experience and what worked for her.

[mirandajames]

Hello. Hope you are well. I'll tell you about my friend's experience. My friend didn't conceive after her first transfer as well. So she went for another one. They were hopeful about her. Similarly, I think you should go for it too. I know you don't want to delay it, but taking some time for yourself won't harm you. It will help you understand and see things clearly.

[hindee]

This journey can be a tough one. However, I hope this round of FET works for you. I am sorry to know the first one didn't work out. For IVF and for many other treatments I have noticed that there are few things that matter a lot. The most important is the clinic and the doctor you visit. The more the doctor is experienced the better it will be. This is because he will know what he is doing. A friend of mine had 5 IVF cycles and all failed for her! She decided to change her doctor and the cycle with the other clinic worked for in the first cycle. So although IVF in itself is very unpredictable it is important that doctors are professionals. Good luck to you. I hope things go smoothly. If you need any more information do let me know. I am also visiting them for my process now. Sending baby dust your way.

[monika]

I am extremely sorry to hear about your failed cycle. It can be very difficult to deal with disappointment. I can very much relate to you. However, don't give up! When this happened to me I instead of giving up decided to visit another clinic. This made a huge difference for me. The clinic I am currently visiting is doing an exceptional job. They are not only extremely helpful to us but they are also trying their very best for things to work out. My biggest pet peeve is that people and the staff should be nice towards me. I have a very strong dislike for the clinics that are rude or ignorant. So I really liked how in this clinic we are given importance. The doctors are also experienced. Apart from all of this the best part if the packages and programs they offer. I was very worried about the financial side. However, after seeing that they were comparatively inexpensive I was glad.