Anyone know of any good sleep training books/methods specific to toddlers.
DD has bedshared almost exclusively since about 4 months and is at the point she has to be touching someone to stay asleep at night.
For naps we can lay with her until she falls asleep then get up and she'll stay asleep for an hour (two if we lay with her the whole time.)
For bedtime we have to lay with her again until she falls asleep. If we get up she's up within 20 minutes and we have to lay with her again. Frequently in the middle of the night she'll ask us where we are so she can be touching us.
She has a floor bed (twin size) in her room that we used to use more frequently, but with my husband working OOT almost all the time it was just easier to go to bed with her at 9pm.
I recently got rid of the pacifier. She's still in pull ups. She has a lovey, but it doesn't hold a flame to her touching myself or MH.
I've tried cio when she was about 18months and it was starting to work, but MH wasn't in board.
I'm okay with some tears, but I feel guilty with a drastic change bc I'm the one that 'taught' her to sleep this way.
I really don't even know where to start and the more pregnant I get the more I'd like to have her in her own bed by the time this new babe comes along.
Post by LittleStarSweeper on Mar 24, 2017 8:02:40 GMT -5
We used The Sleepeasy Solution by Waldberger. It uses some methods of CIO, but it's not as strict. It also provides information on helping babies and kids sleep during special situations like traveling, time changes, birth of a new sibling, potty training, etc. The first few nights are going to be rough no matter which method you try -- the key is to stay consistent.
ETA: The Sleepeasy Solution was recommended highly by the STMs+ on DD's BMB (back in the day). Best wishes, savigirl ! Sleep is difficult and always changing.
Also ETA: We used this method when DD was much younger than your LO is now... so I cannot say if it will work for you. Just a suggestion.
This will be hard. You can go two ways....just bite the bullet and let her CIO (which at this point, I don't know that I would do that bc it could be traumatic) or do some kind of slow transition.
My oldest slept with me until he was 6. I was super young and just didn't know better and wasn't planning to have more kids so it just worked for us. I also wasn't in a relationship at the time either. I just decided one day he needed to be in his own room and he stayed there. He was also much older so that helped.
I would start out by talking to her about it. Maybe make over her room and make the idea of sleeping in there fun and exciting. Then slowly wean her off of you.
The sleep lady shuffle would be a good method to try. You stay in the room and slowly move closer to the door each night until they don't need you in there. I have never used this method so I don't know the specifics but I wouldn't do Ferber or the extinction CIO method. It may take awhile but I think it would be ok for it to be a slow process because of her sleep attachment to you. Just be patient, change is hard for everyone.
Haven't read your whole post, but will come back. Just wanted to recommend: Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It was recommended to us by our pediatrician when we sleep trained DS at 12ish months. Life changing. I go back to it frequently as new issues come up as he gets older (night terrors, nap changes, etc).
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
Post by laurenash323 on Mar 24, 2017 9:27:58 GMT -5
I just want to add that DD just turned 3 and myself and a lot of the moms on her BMB are dealing with a wicked regression right now. I'm not saying not to move forward, but it may be harder. All of our LO's are waking up in the MOTN again and are hard to get back down. Last night DD wasn't asleep until 10pm and then as up at 3am. I didn't get her back down until almost 5am. just wanted to throw that out there.
We have to lay with DD in her bed to get her to fall asleep at night, but of course she sleeps fine by herself at daycare!
Married to dh since 2012. Ttc journey: Miscarriage at 8 weeks February 2013 DD born march 2014 Miscarriage at 6 weeks September 2015 Miscarriage at 16 weeks, our angel Sebastian 1/23/16 Pregnancy number 5!! Edd 9/2/17 (my moms brithday!)
laurenash323 I think her sleep regression currently is her avoidance of going to sleep; which is exactly what is making me want to sleep train. We go to bed at 9pm week nights and she's up talking to herself or me until about 1030. Up side of bedsharing is that when she cries in her sleep my touch calms her and she sleeps thru the night until about 7am.
I did the chair method at 10 month for my co-sleeping kiddo, and it work well but is emotionally draining because you have to watch them cry and reach out for you. That being said, it made me feel better doing it that way, which is the main reason we chose it.
I did the chair method at 10 month for my co-sleeping kiddo, and it work well but is emotionally draining because you have to watch them cry and reach out for you. That being said, it made me feel better doing it that way, which is the main reason we chose it.
Yup, Sleep Lady Shuffle. We did it around a year with DD and it's the best thing we've ever done.
Also, we just nap trained her using the Ok to Wake clock and also found that incredibly helpful.
I LOVE the Okay to Wake clock! It got my DD to stop calling for me in the morning. She waits patiently for me to come and get her. I can't wait until I can start using it with DS2.
jorja and leviosa once I get her in her room I think I'll get that okay to wake clock. My best friend just got it for her almost 2 yo one. He likes to get up super early.
Yup, Sleep Lady Shuffle. We did it around a year with DD and it's the best thing we've ever done.
Also, we just nap trained her using the Ok to Wake clock and also found that incredibly helpful.
I LOVE the Okay to Wake clock! It got my DD to stop calling for me in the morning. She waits patiently for me to come and get her. I can't wait until I can start using it with DS2.
The OK to wake clock is on zulily for $20 today! I have been on the fence about getting it because I am worried DS is too young, but going for it now!
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
So sleep training via the progressively longer check ins, a la Ferber,did not go as planned last night. I went through the the routine with her in her room, kissed her good night, put up the gait in her doorway. By the 2nd check in she had climbed the gait and was hysterical at the top of the steps. I made the gait higher, offered positive encouragement, and 3rd check in she still climbed the gait. I didn't feel safe wth the gait anymore, so we settled with her sleeping in my bed, but I did not lay with her to fall asleep. She has as upset but went right to sleep. It was 11:25.
Then about 20 min later she was crying and hyperventilating in her sleep calling for me and I had to wake her to settle her. The crying in her sleep continued almost every half hour all night.
I think there's definitely and anxiety component at work here. I need to rethink my method; I may need to temporarily move into her room with her but on a separate sleeping surface to help her ease into this slower. Not sure how comfortable this will be given her room is 8ft by 12ft and I'm 4.5 months pregnant.
Thoughts, suggestions? All appreciated.
Posting and running to work so will check in around lunch and after work.
I wouldn't do Ferber at her age. Also, her attachment is so strong she was bound to have this kind of reaction. I think Ferber works great for babies younger than 18 months. Maybe older who haven't been cosleeping for this long.
I still think the sleep lady shuffle is the best method for you. Start out by laying with her for a few nights. Especially after last night, reassure her and comfort her. Then, when you feel she is ready start moving out of her bed. Put a chair in the room and sit there while she goes to sleep. Progressively move it closer to the door and eventually you won't need to be in there. I would take it slow and move the chair a little every other day or every 3 days just so she has confidence you aren't going to just leave her.
savigirl I am afraid I have no advice to give; but I just wanted to say that I am so sorry, that sounds like it was a really traumatic night for everyone. I hope you can find a method that will work for the whole family.
DD lost and born 9/18/2013 at 24 weeks (Trisomy 18) DS born 6/16/2015 (at 39 weeks 6 days, after emergency cerclage at 23 weeks and 14 weeks of bed rest)
Thanks ladies. The Ferber book did support the sleep lady shuffle if needed for older toddlers so I think I'm gonna go that method. Her room is super tiny that I'm not sure how I'm gonna get another sleeping surface in there, but I'll figure it out. I'm definitely more for positive reinforcement and I want to build confidence, by fear.
I decided to put a second twin mattress on the floor in her room last night with a body pillow in between to act as s soft barrier. She did awesome and fell asleep with me in the room, but not touching her. She did check to make sure I was there a few times, and was comforted when I was. Only 2 munger wake ups and we only had to hold hands a few minutes. This is great progress in the right direction for us. Thanks for all your support!!
FWIW...DD has been in her room since 8 or 10 weeks and we are having the HARDEST time getting her to bed right now. Your night sounds much better than mine. I never really had to do much sleep training with her, but think I'm going to have to now. She didn't go to sleep until 11:30p last night, and she was in her bed at 9pm!
Married to dh since 2012. Ttc journey: Miscarriage at 8 weeks February 2013 DD born march 2014 Miscarriage at 6 weeks September 2015 Miscarriage at 16 weeks, our angel Sebastian 1/23/16 Pregnancy number 5!! Edd 9/2/17 (my moms brithday!)
laurenash323 I have heard this is a common sleep issue age so i figured might as well deal with it all at once. Bc of our older daughter (12) dd sometimes doesn't understand about different bed times. She was mad she couldn't tuck sister into bed tonight ( it's sisters mattress I'm borrowing)
We are sleeping at my parents tomorrow so I play to be in the same room but different beds there. Going to start the sleep lady shuffle with her Monday; gonna sit next to her bed instead of Sleeping on the mattress all night.
I'm glad it's going well! I thought I'd mention I've heard of folks hiring someone specifically to come help with sleep issues. They have all sorts of experience and ways to talk with kids to help get their buy-in. Just another possible tool for you if you end up needing it.
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