Scheduled vs demand feeding?

[mustloveerica]

So I'm in a situation now where I almost feel like I'm force feeding the twins. The pediatrician wanted us to continue waking them to feed every 3 hours but letting them demand feed at night. That was working out fine because the twins were still waking hungry every 2.5-3 hours at night. So it didn't throw the schedule off. However last night they both slept (2) 4-hour stretches.

So they last ate at 7 and are both sleeping very deeply now. But it's daytime so according to the pedi I should be waking them up now since it's been about 3 hours.

They are almost a month old and have definitely gained back all of the weight they lost and surpassed their birth weights.

So tell me when did you stop schedule feeding and start just feeding on demand. When I wake them to eat during the day the feedings end up taking forever because I'm forcing bottles on babies that are more sleepy than tired. This makes feedings last anywhere from 30 minutes each to an hour and a half each. Should I just go ahead and start letting them tell me when they're hungry? And if so, should I then offer bigger bottles? They eat about 3-3.5oz and sometimes (rarely) 4oz at a time. I would still do OUBU so I'd possibly still have one sleepy baby but I feel like demand feeding would improve the frustration that is feeding time for our family.

[schmella]

I always looked at it as a schedule with wiggle room- I would give them 30 minutes, but then shoot for the next feeding being "on time"- meaning if you feed 7-10-1-4-7, I'd try to keep each feeding within 30 minutes of the SCHEDULE. I'll be back with more, mine were terrible eaters

[requiressnacks]

In our house, I am all about parent-directed feeding. It keeps my sanity and I like to be able to plan my day around when I knew I'd be feeding the babies. But I totally get your point that it's so much easier to feed a hungry baby than a sleepy baby.

But, to answer your question, we are still on a schedule at 5 months.

I will say that our best nap of the day is the first one and then they wake up starving. So if yours start to have a long morning nap, you can totally adjust to whatever works for you.

[mustloveerica]

Apr 7, 2017 10:40:45 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

In our house, I am all about parent-directed feeding. It keeps my sanity and I like to be able to plan my day around when I knew I'd be feeding the babies. But I totally get your point that it's so much easier to feed a hungry baby than a sleepy baby.

But, to answer your question, we are still on a schedule at 5 months.

I will say that our best nap of the day is the first one and then they wake up starving. So if yours start to have a long morning nap, you can totally adjust to whatever works for you.

Thanks! This point totally makes sense.

[piccyami]

We feed mostly on demand, and started to around the age yours are. I made sure they never went more than 4 hours without eating, but if they needed to sleep, I let them sleep. We're only just now getting into an actual schedule (bottle when they wake up, 2-3 snacks and 2-3 bottles at daycare, then bedtime bottles and then MOTN ones when they wake up), but it's still very much about when they're hungry.

[schmella]

Back. So, assuming no actual feeding issues and they are generally eating and gaining appropriately, I think your pediatrician is probably being extra cautious without realizing what a strain its putting on you and your family. Between reflux, gas, and seriously sleepy babies, I was losing my damn mind.
Something I couldn't get out of a doctor was "How much should they be eating?" Not some BS "they'll eat what they need" but like a real data based answer. FINALLY one of them gave me a guideline. Some kids will eat more, some kids will eat less, but it helped me stress less knowing my kids were "in the range" on good days and bad. A baby should eat 2-2.5 oz of formula per pound in a 24hr period, up to 32 oz. So a 10 lb baby should take in 20-25oz in a day. If you split that up into 6 bottles thats 3-1/3 to 4-1/8th oz per bottle. So if they're taking that in, who the hell cares if its every 3hrs on the dot? IDK, that was reassuring to me. I hope it is to you and not adding to your stress.

Anyway, I'd say take a day to let them go completely off the rails and write down what they eat, when, when they sleep, how long... You might see that the schedule is there, its just a little funky at certain times. At one point, mine ate at 7, 11, 1, 4, and 6. Like clockwork. Thats five feedings with an average of 3hrs between them, but not evenly spaced.

As for 30-90 minute feedings... Again, assuming no feeding issues, tongue ties, or if you're nursing then bottle feeding... I used to offer a bottle and if they weren't having it after 10 minutes, we'd take a break. Sometimes another 30 minutes meant they downed it. And I'd rather play with my kids for 30 minutes than fight them to eat for 45, KWIM?

Also, if they are acting hungry, suck on the bottle for a minute and then lose interest, it might be time to consider going up a nipple size. Those 90 minute feeds were usually a sign for us.

[pbandj714]

Apr 7, 2017 10:40:45 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

In our house, I am all about parent-directed feeding. It keeps my sanity and I like to be able to plan my day around when I knew I'd be feeding the babies. But I totally get your point that it's so much easier to feed a hungry baby than a sleepy baby.

But, to answer your question, we are still on a schedule at 5 months.

I will say that our best nap of the day is the first one and then they wake up starving. So if yours start to have a long morning nap, you can totally adjust to whatever works for you.

This exactly. I think that they and I do better on a schedule. I can look at the clock and say "welp, it's about that time" and go make bottles even though they're not acting super hungry vs them wailing and melting down while I hurredly make the bottles that they suddenly decide they needed like yesterday. We still keep a loose schedule even now at 9 months because it works for us. Sometimes on weekends we'll get a little bit off because of long naps or trips, but in general the parent-directed feeding schedule works for us.

[mustloveerica]

schmella thanks! I tracked their intake for a few days this week. They're getting about 2/3 formula and 1/3 breastmilk but between the 2 E eats about 25-27oz per day and H about 20-22oz per day on average. So we're definitely in the range you mentioned. And I agree with your statement about drs, ours wouldn't say how much they should be eating either. But I needed a range to know how much to offer in a bottle! We've just gone up a nipple size as well and that's drastically helping get Hs feeding time down. E dribbles all over tho so I don't think she's ready for a faster nipple, she ends up losing half of the milk when I use a number 2 nipple with her.. I'm going to try your suggestion of limiting the feeding to 10 minutes and if they aren't interested then revisit a half hour later or so. The time it takes them to eat just really takes a toll on me. Like they finally finish and then in a blink its time to eat again. They are getting visibly chunky so I'm not concerned about weight issues anymore. We have our one month appt on Monday so we'll see what they weigh then.

[callmeKD]

Couple of Qs - are they finishing how much you give them? If not, then I don't think it's time to increase amount. What nipple flow are you using? We used premie way too long and once I moved them to level 1 they started drinking more and it takes less time.

[callmeKD]

We are doing on demand feedings and stopped scheduled feedings after their 1 month weight check. I also only do OUBU at night and if I know that baby girl won't make it to morning (she's my better sleeper).

[mustloveerica]

Apr 7, 2017 16:58:11 GMT -5 callmeKD said:

Couple of Qs - are they finishing how much you give them? If not, then I don't think it's time to increase amount. What nipple flow are you using? We used premie way too long and once I moved them to level 1 they started drinking more and it takes less time.

E almost always finishes 3.5oz. I tried offering 4 and she will drink the entire thing but then spits it up. So I dialed her back to 3.5. It seems like a lot to me but she's happy so whatever. H varies how much she will finish (sometimes 1.5 sometimes 3.5). H uses level 2 nipples (slow flow), E sometimes uses level 2 but tends to be way more messy with them so I mostly use newborn flow with her. E is a faster eater even with the slower nipples. H is a sleepy eater and lazy sucker (she doesn't move milk at all if I nurse her). H is the one that pushes feedings to a hour and half long.

[mustloveerica]

Apr 7, 2017 17:02:25 GMT -5 callmeKD said:

We are doing on demand feedings and stopped scheduled feedings after their 1 month weight check. I also only do OUBU at night and if I know that baby girl won't make it to morning (she's my better sleeper).

9 times out of 10 baby E is the one to wake up at night. So we just wake H up at the same time. I think I will continue doing OUBU at night until I know H will sleep until the next feed (so 6 hours). Which I'm sure we are no where near.

[nomnom]

I've done on-demand feeding with all my kids, both for timing and amount. Eventually the older ones fell into a schedule and a relatively consistent bottle size. If I likited them to the 32oz guidelune, G would have been fine, but R would have been chronically hungry. He grew fast and wanted 40-50oz per day.

I expect the younger ones to do the same. Both times, my boy has been faster at eating and my girl has nibbled, at least in the first few months. At night, both babies usually sleep for at least 5-6 hours, sometimes more, so I've stopped doing OUBU. I'd have to wait for two babies to finish eating and get drowsy before I go back to sleep myself and it doesn't seem to make them wake up later. They just eat less in each feeding.

As far as consistent bedtime and wakeup time, I'd need to get MH on board anyhow so it's a bit on the loose side.

ETA: Older set is 18 months, younger set is almost 8 weeks. Both were evicted around 38.5 weeks.

[DVMmomma]

What's OUBU mean?

[schmella]

Apr 9, 2017 12:36:53 GMT -5 DVMmomma said:

What's OUBU mean?

One up both up.

[river]

Thank you all so much for this thread!!

An additional technique question - how do you approach OUBU when you're solo? I've been lucky enough to have my husband home so we've been doing it together at the same time, but that's not the long term plan. They're getting bottles - pumped milk and formula. Both are back up to birth weight but Lucas is only 5 lbs. He's the lazier eater of the two, and generally is the one we have to wake.

Do you get them both up and ready and feed together? Do the routine with one and follow with the other? Some other option?

Thanks, and Happy Mother's Day!

[callmeKD]

river I rarely fed them at the same time when they were really little. Mostly because of their size and being early, I needed to make sure that I was 100% focused on E who was my slower/fussier/smaller baby. So get one up - changed, fed and put back down and then the other. It takes twice as long as really sucks to do it solo overnight but it's doable.

[schmella]

river, we did both at different times. In the beginning, A needed paced side lying feeds so I would feed one then the other.
In the early days, their lack of head​ control makes tandem feeding difficult. I timed it and it took me the same amount of time to feed them together as it did to feed them one at a time, so I kinda just did whichever made sense? If they were both up and wailing, I'd tandem, but if one woke and the other hadn't yet, I'd do it separately. Eventually that backfired (the sleeping kiddo woke up screaming next to MH while I was feeding the other...).

[dukegirlsc]

May 14, 2017 10:33:00 GMT -5 river said:

Thank you all so much for this thread!!

An additional technique question - how do you approach OUBU when you're solo? I've been lucky enough to have my husband home so we've been doing it together at the same time, but that's not the long term plan. They're getting bottles - pumped milk and formula. Both are back up to birth weight but Lucas is only 5 lbs. He's the lazier eater of the two, and generally is the one we have to wake.

Do you get them both up and ready and feed together? Do the routine with one and follow with the other? Some other option?

Thanks, and Happy Mother's Day!

I do both at the same time in the twin Z most nights and just stagger when I give the bottle so they won't both be ready to be burped at the same time. Some nights I do one after the other because I am half asleep and that's easier, it just depends on the day. Happy Mother's Day to you!

[requiressnacks]

May 14, 2017 10:33:00 GMT -5 river said:

Thank you all so much for this thread!!

An additional technique question - how do you approach OUBU when you're solo? I've been lucky enough to have my husband home so we've been doing it together at the same time, but that's not the long term plan. They're getting bottles - pumped milk and formula. Both are back up to birth weight but Lucas is only 5 lbs. He's the lazier eater of the two, and generally is the one we have to wake.

Do you get them both up and ready and feed together? Do the routine with one and follow with the other? Some other option?

Thanks, and Happy Mother's Day!

I always did them together in the Twin Z. I found it to be most efficient, and we still use it today.

[lotusbee]

requiressnacks I'm planning on bottle feeding from the get go and was contemplating getting the Twin Z, but I already have two boppies - can you think of any added benefit to the twin Z vs. boppies?

[requiressnacks]

May 15, 2017 8:54:13 GMT -5 lotusbee said:

requiressnacks I'm planning on bottle feeding from the get go and was contemplating getting the Twin Z, but I already have two boppies - can you think of any added benefit to the twin Z vs. boppies?

Not really - it's basically one big boppy.

[nomnom]

May 15, 2017 9:35:33 GMT -5 requiressnacks said:

May 15, 2017 8:54:13 GMT -5 lotusbee said:

requiressnacks I'm planning on bottle feeding from the get go and was contemplating getting the Twin Z, but I already have two boppies - can you think of any added benefit to the twin Z vs. boppies?

Not really - it's basically one big boppy.

I use two boppies that I got used--total cost of $16--and they're more portable and versatile than I imagine a Twin Z would be. That being said, I've never used a Twin Z.

[mustloveerica]

May 14, 2017 10:33:00 GMT -5 river said:

Thank you all so much for this thread!!

An additional technique question - how do you approach OUBU when you're solo? I've been lucky enough to have my husband home so we've been doing it together at the same time, but that's not the long term plan. They're getting bottles - pumped milk and formula. Both are back up to birth weight but Lucas is only 5 lbs. He's the lazier eater of the two, and generally is the one we have to wake.

Do you get them both up and ready and feed together? Do the routine with one and follow with the other? Some other option?

Thanks, and Happy Mother's Day!

I've always fed mine at the same time. It's more efficient and I really can't stand to listen to one baby wailing while I feed the other. If the second baby is sleeping soundly then sometimes I feed them one at a time but usually I just do both together. It was more difficult when they were smaller because they would both fall asleep while eat. So I would just tickle their cheeks and necks to wake them up. That was all I could manage while double feeding. Now they don't usually fall asleep and they suck their bottles down pretty quick so it's much easier to feed both together. You get pretty creative with using elbows, knees, whatever to hold bottles up.



Also my twin mom friend gave us these bottle prop things. They're supposed to be for babies to hold their own bottles. Mine don't have he motor skills yet for that but I find they're the perfect size to kind of tuck into the waist of their diapers and then I don't have to hold the bottles at all. But I still sit right there to make sure they don't choke or catch the bottles if they fall.

[lotusbee]

mustloveerica you are rocking this!!

[callmeKD]

I like the boppy for solo feeding. I love the twin z for letting them chill and hang out but I find I'm too short to really use it for feeding

[river]

mustloveerica thanks for the visuals!! We have the bib bottle props, and I did use the twin-z pillow in the hospital one day so I'll have to start practicing with those.

[requiressnacks]

I just remembered I bought those bottle prop bibs and never used them! I think that window may have passed for us....haha.

[callmeKD]

mustloveerica I am so impressed!

[mustloveerica]

The worst part about feeding two babies at once....when Netflix asks if you're still watching ☹️