Post by crimsonandclover on Apr 10, 2017 8:45:43 GMT -5
dizzycooks, DH has suggested several times that he could be a SAHD while I expand my freelance work (because I make way more an hour than either of us does at our regular jobs), and even though I think he would actually really enjoy it, I couldn't handle the pressure of being the only earner. I'm sure I would resent him. However, that's the kind of decision you as a couple have to reach together, and if you decided that it's ok, then it's not cool for him to get mad at you because of it. But if he doesn't like the situation, he needs to bring it up in a constructive way so you can figure out what to do together.
Post by NellieOleson on Apr 10, 2017 8:49:03 GMT -5
So, the latest news in the continuing saga of "Will the Oleson Family Ever Find a New Home" is that we put in an offer on a house on Friday, and the sellers accepted! And then yesterday, before they had actually signed the documents they got an offer for $5,000 more, reneged on their verbal agreement, and accept the new offer. They said we could compete if we wanted. Uh... NO.
Our agent is absolutely livid. My H is depressed and pissed off, I think I'm just feeling shocked and hopeless. I can't believe someone would be so lame, and borderline unethical for five thousand dollars. In the overall cost of a house, that is nothing! Plus, the family has owned the house since before records were kept, so it's not like they aren't making an insane profit on the place already.
Whatever. It was a once cool midcentury ranch that had suffered from a bad 90s remodel and needed a lot of work before I would have been happy with it. Maybe we dodged a bullet.
But good lord, it feels like we are never going to find a new home.
Post by crimsonandclover on Apr 10, 2017 8:51:57 GMT -5
As much as I enjoyed having my mom here the last two weeks, it's ok that she's headed back tomorrow morning. I enjoy spending time with her, but I need to get back to my regular routine. We've also had the girls home more often to spend time with her (which has been convenient timing because of the preschool lice outbreak), but they're driving me up the wall and I am very ready for them to go back tomorrow.
crimsonandclover I agree it's a lot of pressure. I have no idea what it feels like, but I'm sure it's hard. However, there is an end date and it makes me feel awful to hear him say that bc I literally received my letter affirming another year off (with job security!). I have a job to go back to. Obviously I could look for something in the mean time, but changing jobs every year seems ridiculous and very stressful. Never mind I'd basically be lying when I took it bc chances are good I wouldn't stay. He apologized last night, but he's still getting major shade from me for not being honest sooner.
Post by crimsonandclover on Apr 10, 2017 9:32:49 GMT -5
Yeah, dizzycooks, I think in your situation he just needs to suck it up for another year. Now that you know how he feels, you have almost 1.5 years to figure out how you're going to work things out logistically if/when you go back in 2018. As someone else said, it could be that if daycare costs end up being really high, they could negate your income, which would defeat the purpose. Or maybe you would end up with a nice added income. But if you do and are miserable because really you want to be home with your kids, then you'll have to discuss together what your priorities are. Before we even officially started dating I told DH that I was going to work after having kids (I knew his mom was a die-hard SAHM), and that if he wanted a wife who would stay home with the kids, then there was no point in starting a relationship. He said he would prefer his wife to work. So at least with us, things were clear from the beginning and neither of us has changed our stance even though it hasn't always been easy logistically!
Post by scorpioscuba on Apr 10, 2017 11:55:58 GMT -5
I'm WFH and not being very productive. I'm currently planning in my head how I can finagle more storage in the "playroom" so we can move DD's toys in there and get them out of the main living room area. I think I have a plan but I really should learn not to ask H for his input. I never like what he says.
I think I slept wrong last night. I can't move my neck or shoulders without pain. If I was going to be home today I would've taken robax, but it makes me super loopy, so I figured I should probably skip it since I had to work. And speaking of work, this job is awesome. I get to work on cars, and when there's no cars I can screw around on my phone. Plus we get 35% off of oil changes.
I'm WFH and not being very productive. I'm currently planning in my head how I can finagle more storage in the "playroom" so we can move DD's toys in there and get them out of the main living room area. I think I have a plan but I really should learn not to ask H for his input. I never like what he says.
Hahah When I ask MH I really just want confirmation that what I'm thinking is correct. And if he says something different I'm always annoyed.
We spent most of yesterday outside pulling up weeds and the black eyed Susan's that are invading our entire front landscaping. I want to re-landscape our whole yard and am waiting to hear back from my friend who owns a nursery on what she thinks we should do. I'm excited to get started! I already have the back mostly planned out but I need help on the front.
Our customers seem to come in spurts. We'll have an hour or so white nothing, and then 4 or 5 cars will show up all at once and then back to nothing. And there's not really much to do in between.
NellieOleson, those people suck! So crappy of them. I'm sorry this is becoming such a challenging endeavor.
dizzycooks, glad he apologized but also once you know how they really feel it's not that helpful.
crimsonandclover, glad you had a good trip with your mom! And nothing wrong with wanting to be back in your routine again.
Yeah, I had heard the market here was nuts the last few years. I had heard it was totally horrible to look for a house. I had seen the shell-shocked glazed over eyes of people describing what they went through. I still feel like I was naive about the whole thing.
I actually felt optimistic about things at one point! Just like a month ago my H and I were like "Should we live in Neighborhood A or Neighborhood B? They are both pretty cool." Hahahaha. That was before I realized everything is priced $50,000 to $100,000 less than it will sell for and that cash offers will come and snatch things away at a moment's notice.
I wish we had decided on something more permanent when we moved to our current house, but hindsight is 20/20 and there's nothing we can do about it now. I'm sure something will come along, but it's not going to be where I was hoping it would be.
If H wants me to work, he really needs to figure out how to deal with the kids on his own. I texted just before I left work to see if he wanted me to order pizza before I started driving, and he took forever to answer, and when he did, he just said to come home and deal with the baby.
If H wants me to work, he really needs to figure out how to deal with the kids on his own. I texted just before I left work to see if he wanted me to order pizza before I started driving, and he took forever to answer, and when he did, he just said to come home and deal with the baby.
99.9% of the time when my H texts to see if I want him to pick anything up on his way home I tell him to just come home asap. Dealing with the kids on my own is fine, but by the end of the day I am ready for a break!
If H wants me to work, he really needs to figure out how to deal with the kids on his own. I texted just before I left work to see if he wanted me to order pizza before I started driving, and he took forever to answer, and when he did, he just said to come home and deal with the baby.
99.9% of the time when my H texts to see if I want him to pick anything up on his way home I tell him to just come home asap. Dealing with the kids on my own is fine, but by the end of the day I am ready for a break!
I get that. I've been dealing with them alone for most of S's life. It's the first full day I've worked since M was born. This is not inspiring confidence.
My first and only child will have her first day of daycare tomorrow. I am having a lot of feels.
Awwww....hugs! I know, it's hard! But I think she (and you!) will really love Montessori. It's awesome! I look forward to getting DD into a program like DS was in.
Post by crimsonandclover on Apr 11, 2017 7:37:03 GMT -5
Mom is on a plane headed home, the kiddos are at preschool, DH and I are catching up on a bunch of administrative stuff we need to do (taxes etc.), and I'm getting some work done. Plus we figured out a way to make our guest room more usable the 47 weeks out of the year when we *don't* have guests.
Day care drop off was a non-event. I am the only one that had any kind of feels. I almost turned around on my way there, and totally didn't sleep well last night. I am the ridiculous! It went so well in fact that I had time to take myself for a bagel and a coffee before my tire appointment. 😬
kcrkcs how many days is she going? I'm glad it went well. crimsonandclover tell us your guest room plans! I saw a house today that I love. It would be a slam dunk if I was working and it *almost* makes me reconsider. I hate house hunting.NellieOleson
Post by crimsonandclover on Apr 11, 2017 12:44:41 GMT -5
dizzycooks, oh it's not that exciting. DDs 1+2 have fifty bajillion playmobil things and need a place where they can spread out to play with them and not have DD3 getting in the way all the time. So we're going to get rid of the guest bed frame we have in there (we got it for about $50 from Aldi 9 years ago and it's ready to collapse anyway). When my mom comes to visit we'll move in the sofa bed from the next room since it's the same size as the guest bed anyway. And the rest of the time the room will be empty except for a dresser so DDs 1+2 can have their playmobil in there.
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