I'm side-eyeing the lady who told me, "Just relax and you'll get pregnant". She didn't know I'm pregnant obviously but she's lucky I only side-eyed her and didn't give her the snarky schpeel on how babies are made.
My BFF said this to me all the time when I was TTC, and now that she knows I am pregnant again she keeps telling me to relax like that might prevent another MC. I side eye the fuck out of her, and she is lucky I haven't knocked her ass out yet. I want to educate her but she is one of those people that doesn't take constructive criticism well. Despite all this I know she would walk through flames for me so. Side eye it is.
I am giving it to the FB friend that announced her pregnancy at 6 weeks along. She already has one kid and should know that you aren't in clear until second trimester.
You know that no one is "in the clear" in the second trimester either, right?
I guess it's a UO around these parts but I feel like people should be able to announce whenever they want to without judgement. They'll have to deal with u telling if something happens.
I will add that personally, I would never announce that early. Been there, done that and all.
This. I announced my pregnancy early last time and did it early again this time. I completely understand those that choose to wait, but I'm not a very private person and would have no problem sharing the fact that I had a miscarriage should that unfortunately come to pass. In the end, I sort of think that the world could benefit from having a more open and free-flowing dialogue about miscarriage. Many women are surprised to find out how common it is, simply because it seems to be such a taboo subject to talk about out in the open. Now, I want to make clear that I do not judge anyone who chooses not to share such personal details and decides to wait to announce as a result, but I guess I just don't understand the tendency to side-eye someone who would be comfortable starting an open dialogue about this very real and very sad subject.
Went to a ladies game night with a few close friends, one of whom is also pregnant (32 weeks). I told everyone I was pregnant, and a different friend texted her boyfriend to tell him because she was excited. She got an answer back, started laughing and read it out loud. It said "Ew, now she's fat with saggy boobs. Fuck kids". And this friend read this text out loud while laughing about it, and how funny her boyfriend is. Is it wrong that I hoped she got KTFU and then her boyfriend could call her fat and she could see how funny it was.
Me and my other pregnant friend enjoyed a long side-eye stare.
Yeah that's fucked up, and with all the feeling I feel right now I probably woulda went to that bathroom and ugly cried. Why would she read that out loud? I would have asked why he thinks all pregnant peoples boobs get saggy? So frustrating to me why she thought this was funny, and share worthy.
Met DH 2008-engaged 8/10/2011-married 7/21/12
DD1 born on her due date 05/01/2012 7lbs12oz and 19 3/4in long
DD2 born 12/07/2013 @ 39w6d 8lbs15oz 20 3/4in long
#3 EDD 09/27/2015 ~team green~ we are going for a HOME birth!
Late to the game, but I'm side-eyeing my friend who posted a picture of her husband wearing their one month old baby in a Bjorn that was clearly not positioned correctly. Baby's head was halfway down her husband's torso and completely obscured by the carrier.
I'm giving it to my cousin's wife who has been been posting that she wants her LO to "hurry up and come out" since she was about 32 weeks pregnant (she's 36 weeks now). She said she wants him to come for her birthday...its in 3 days. There are so many reasons why I'm side eyeing them both but I'm reminded of this one every time I log onto Facebook.
Wow. Looks like you and @emadima need to make use of the "unfollow" button. My feed is mostly idiot-free because of my liberal approach to hiding people.
So you would unfollow someone and consider them an idiot, simply because they chose to share the news of their pregnancy before the time you personally deem it proper? I don't know why I'm so fired up about this, but I find that to be highly offensive. What you're basically saying is that pregnancies cannot be celebrated if there's a chance there could be a loss. What you're basically saying is that miscarriages are so embarrassing that their occurrence should never be admitted to or discussed in a public forum.
I've never had a miscarriage, but this infuriates me beyond belief on behalf of those who have. Again, I completely understand and support those individuals who would choose to keep such personal matters private, but to suggest that someone is an idiot, because they don't feel that miscarriage is some shameful thing that needs to be hidden at all costs, is extremely ignorant, IMO, and largely ignores the reality that many women face worldwide.
I don't think sharing the news early is being an idiot. To each their own. Although, I so wouldn't want to do a Facebook post about my loss - not because there is a stigma around it or because it's embarrassing - but because once people know about it, all they want to do is talk about it or give you that "poor girl" look.
I don't think sharing the news early is being an idiot. To each their own. Although, I so wouldn't want to do a Facebook post about my loss - not because there is a stigma around it or because it's embarrassing - but because once people know about it, all they want to do is talk about it or give you that "poor girl" look.
And I completely get that. I just don't think that anyone who decides that they wouldn't mind talking about it should be side-eyed, referred to as an idiot, and/or unfollowed. To me, there's a difference between deciding for yourself that you don't want to talk about it and being told by someone else that you shouldn't talk about it.
So you would unfollow someone and consider them an idiot, simply because they chose to share the news of their pregnancy before the time you personally deem it proper? I don't know why I'm so fired up about this, but I find that to be highly offensive. What you're basically saying is that pregnancies cannot be celebrated if there's a chance there could be a loss. What you're basically saying is that miscarriages are so embarrassing that their occurrence should never be admitted to or discussed in a public forum.
I've never had a miscarriage, but this infuriates me beyond belief on behalf of those who have. Again, I completely understand and support those individuals who would choose to keep such personal matters private, but to suggest that someone is an idiot, because they don't feel that miscarriage is some shameful thing that needs to be hidden at all costs, is extremely ignorant, IMO, and largely ignores the reality that many women face worldwide.
Also, you should probably read what she responded to because it looks like you're getting bent out of shape over nothing.
She responded directly to the one post, but referenced that other post by tagging (or attempting to tag) the OP and saying they should both make use of the unfollow button. She also liked the OP's post.
So you would unfollow someone and consider them an idiot, simply because they chose to share the news of their pregnancy before the time you personally deem it proper? I don't know why I'm so fired up about this, but I find that to be highly offensive. What you're basically saying is that pregnancies cannot be celebrated if there's a chance there could be a loss. What you're basically saying is that miscarriages are so embarrassing that their occurrence should never be admitted to or discussed in a public forum.
I've never had a miscarriage, but this infuriates me beyond belief on behalf of those who have. Again, I completely understand and support those individuals who would choose to keep such personal matters private, but to suggest that someone is an idiot, because they don't feel that miscarriage is some shameful thing that needs to be hidden at all costs, is extremely ignorant, IMO, and largely ignores the reality that many women face worldwide.
I think you're barking up the wrong tree. I'll let BookishMomma speak for herself on this one, but let it be known that she's had 4 consecutive miscarriages in one year.
Wow. Looks like you and @emadima need to make use of the "unfollow" button. My feed is mostly idiot-free because of my liberal approach to hiding people.
So you would unfollow someone and consider them an idiot, simply because they chose to share the news of their pregnancy before the time you personally deem it proper? I don't know why I'm so fired up about this, but I find that to be highly offensive. What you're basically saying is that pregnancies cannot be celebrated if there's a chance there could be a loss. What you're basically saying is that miscarriages are so embarrassing that their occurrence should never be admitted to or discussed in a public forum.
I've never had a miscarriage, but this infuriates me beyond belief on behalf of those who have. Again, I completely understand and support those individuals who would choose to keep such personal matters private, but to suggest that someone is an idiot, because they don't feel that miscarriage is some shameful thing that needs to be hidden at all costs, is extremely ignorant, IMO, and largely ignores the reality that many women face worldwide.
Hmmm, that's not really what I meant. @fearsy is right. I have had 4 miscarriages since Nov 2013. The reason I hide people on FB is because it is painful to see my feed full of pregnancy, ultrasound, and newborn photos constantly because many of them are reminders of how far along I "should" have been with each lost pregnancy. However, I can and do still check in with pregnant friends either personally or by peeking at their FB walls or Instagram when I'm feeling emotionally strong enough to do so. I just don't need the constant reminder every time I log in to FB.
I also unfollow a lot of people for non-pregnancy related reasons, too. Basically, if I don't feel you contribute anything interesting, entertaining, or informative, you'll get hidden from my feed.
Me (37) + DH (39) BFP #1: DS born July 2011 BFPs #2,3,4,5: Four losses from Nov 2013-Nov 2014. Yeah, that sucked. BFP #6: 1/5/15 - Rainbow baby boy born 9/16/15
So you would unfollow someone and consider them an idiot, simply because they chose to share the news of their pregnancy before the time you personally deem it proper? I don't know why I'm so fired up about this, but I find that to be highly offensive. What you're basically saying is that pregnancies cannot be celebrated if there's a chance there could be a loss. What you're basically saying is that miscarriages are so embarrassing that their occurrence should never be admitted to or discussed in a public forum.
I've never had a miscarriage, but this infuriates me beyond belief on behalf of those who have. Again, I completely understand and support those individuals who would choose to keep such personal matters private, but to suggest that someone is an idiot, because they don't feel that miscarriage is some shameful thing that needs to be hidden at all costs, is extremely ignorant, IMO, and largely ignores the reality that many women face worldwide.
Hmmm, that's not really what I meant. @fearsy is right. I have had 4 miscarriages since Nov 2013. The reason I hide people on FB is because it is painful to see my feed full of pregnancy, ultrasound, and newborn photos constantly because many of them are reminders of how far along I "should" have been with each lost pregnancy. However, I can and do still check in with pregnant friends either personally or by peeking at their FB walls or Instagram when I'm feeling emotionally strong enough to do so. I just don't need the constant reminder every time I log in to FB.
I also unfollow a lot of people for non-pregnancy related reasons, too. Basically, if I don't feel you contribute anything interesting, entertaining, or informative, you'll get hidden from my feed.
Completely understandable. When you told the OP to use the unfollow button and then referenced how your feed is idiot-free, I assumed you meant that she should unfollow the "idiots" she was referencing in her post (i.e. those who announce early). If that's not what you meant, I truly apologize.
Either way, I'm incredibly sorry that you've had to go through what you've gone through and admire everything you've done to power through and make it to this day. You're obviously an extremely strong woman and I'll be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed that this one sticks!
Hmmm, that's not really what I meant. @fearsy is right. I have had 4 miscarriages since Nov 2013. The reason I hide people on FB is because it is painful to see my feed full of pregnancy, ultrasound, and newborn photos constantly because many of them are reminders of how far along I "should" have been with each lost pregnancy. However, I can and do still check in with pregnant friends either personally or by peeking at their FB walls or Instagram when I'm feeling emotionally strong enough to do so. I just don't need the constant reminder every time I log in to FB.
I also unfollow a lot of people for non-pregnancy related reasons, too. Basically, if I don't feel you contribute anything interesting, entertaining, or informative, you'll get hidden from my feed.
Completely understandable. When you told the OP to use the unfollow button and then referenced how your feed is idiot-free, I assumed you meant that she should unfollow the "idiots" she was referencing in her post (i.e. those who announce early). If that's not what you meant, I truly apologize.
Either way, I'm incredibly sorry that you've had to go through what you've gone through and admire everything you've done to power through and make it to this day. You're obviously an extremely strong woman and I'll be thinking of you and keeping my fingers crossed that this one sticks!
fyoubumpmay (I like your SN, btw) I can see how my prior post could have come across that way. But truly I meant that I unfollow idiots in general. I didn't necessarily mean that anyone who announces their pregnancy early is an idiot. I've announced early myself in the past, though not on FB. But since PPs were complaining about those early announcers in their feed, I suggested making liberal use of the unfollow feature.
And thank you for the well wishes. I'm really hoping this one sticks, too!
PS- Bear with me, I'm still trying to figure out how to properly tag people here! Fearsy are you CLAWSOME now?? That's what pops up when I try to tag you. STOP CHANGING THINGS. Too much chaaaaaange!
Last Edit: Jan 18, 2015 19:34:31 GMT -5 by BookishMomma
Me (37) + DH (39) BFP #1: DS born July 2011 BFPs #2,3,4,5: Four losses from Nov 2013-Nov 2014. Yeah, that sucked. BFP #6: 1/5/15 - Rainbow baby boy born 9/16/15
To my DH who gave ME the side eye yesterday for saying that I felt nauseous. Helloooooo I'm not making this up buddy!
Yes! This! I told my husband a couple of hours ago I felt nauseous and sick and he said "Isn't morning sickness for mornings?" I think it is too my credit I didn't whip a pregnancy book at him.
I'm side-eying my BFF that I just visited in NYC this weekend. She called me out on not drinking, and we told her our news (not even our parents know yet!) She was of course thrilled for us, but almost immediately stated, "Please don't be one of 'those' moms". Um, what? 1) RUDE. 2) I'm going to be a fucking awesome mom, thank you very much. Love her, but still urked.
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