Big Siblings Poll

[sdlaura]

I stole this from another board and made some modifications. I thought it might be fun for non-FTMs to fill out and interesting for all of us to read.


Age(s)/sex(es)?

School year/preschool/daycare?

Likes and dislikes?

Were they generally easy or difficult as a baby, and anything you learned and want to share?

[maggie6424]

2 and 5, both boys.
Bug was in school before we moved off grid, Budder is in his second year of pre-k. They both love food and anything with wheels. Ds1 was a nightmare pregnancy, birth, and has been difficult ever since. Ds2 was a much easier pregnancy and a lightning fast birth. Once he was on nutramigen, he was a very easy baby. Such a better sleeper, too.
I learned that even though my husband and I create every kid, they can be so different. Both from us and each other.

[pinecone21]

DD is 3.

She's in the preschool room at daycare.

She loves to talk. She talks all day long, to other people or to herself. She talks herself to sleep at nap time and at night. For toys, right now she likes hiding Easter eggs and having a picnic with her matchbox cars. She's bossy and always on the move. She doesn't like sudden changes to her routine, or when people don't flush the toilet.

She was medium as a baby. She didn't cry for hours, but she did cry some and we had to use the happiest baby techniques. She didn't sleep through the night until after a year, but I was breastfeeding, so that probably played a role. Last time, the last few weeks of my pregnancy I bounced on my yoga ball a lot because it was more comfortable than the couch. In the early weeks, it was easy for me and others to calm DD by bouncing on the ball, so I think she recognized the motion. I definitely plan to do that again!

[wineoclock]

DS is 3.

He goes to a Montessori Preschool and is in one of the primary classrooms ages 3-6. I teach so he's home this week for spring break with me!

He's really into his baby sister and likes to tell her the day of the week and other random information by speaking directly into my belly or belly button. It's super adorable. He's also into magnatiles and anything with wheels. He's not a fan of our screen time (tv) restrictions or most veggies at the moment.

He was a super easy baby and still has a very go with the flow personality. He just got glasses for example, and wears them no problem like an adult. We did early potty training at 19 months without issues, he drank my breastmilk despite high lipase... Just very low maintenance. So naturally, I'm expecting DD to be the complete opposite.

[cheezee]

DD is 5.

She's currently in Pre-K three days a week. I have all the sads about starting kinder this fall but I know eventually we'll both love it.

DD is very girly and sassy. She's into all her accessories and playing with make up. She's loves to dress herself in horribly mismatched outfits and insist it is fashion. She cannot wait to meet baby brother and talks to/kisses my belly every day. Melts me every time! She is totally daddy's girl so I'm hopping I get a mamas boy out of this little guy!

She was an easy pregnancy and baby I'd say. She made up for most of that with an awful labor though. I can't wait to see how this one goes down. I've learned way too much about mommy hood...if there's one piece of advice i have it's just to go with your gut.

[PA Mom]

Age(s)/sex(es)? 3 yo girl

School year/preschool/daycare? Preschool T/Th, In-home daycare MWF

Likes and dislikes? Loves anything with doctors, playing doctor, and watching surgeries (she is an odd bird). She also likes playing kitchen, playing school, nuns (lol), and watching PBS shows. She dislikes when people litter (she points out every piece of trash we pass), when I won't let her do something on her own, and most veggies at the momnt. 

Were they generally easy or difficult as a baby, and anything you learned and want to share? She was really hard as a newborn, but hit her sweet spot around 4 months. She had reflux and they tried everything else before believing she had reflux. Once she got on the meds though, she was a pleasant baby and I wish she got on them sooner. I went back to work when she was 2 months and didn't realize my milk supply went down. She was a lover of sleep so she wasn't crying that she was hungry so she lost weight quickly and ended up failure to thrive. It was hard to get her back in the habit of eating more. It was a nightmare. So this time around, I will be more diligent and make sure I offer a bottle after each feed even if he seems content. Once we went through those hellion 4 months though, she was so easy. Great sleeper, great eater, and generally happy and inquisitive.

[honda13]

Age(s)/sex(es)?
Dd will be two in less than a month!

School year/preschool/daycare?
Daycare

Likes and dislikes?
Likes:
Finding Dory
Elephants
Being outside
When things go vroom vroom
Water
Dislikes:
Mustard
Being told no

Were they generally easy or difficult as a baby, and anything you learned and want to share?
Once we figured out wtf we were doing she was an easy kid. Prime example: someone on my bmb shared that according to a book newborns shouldn't be up for more than 2 hours. Life changing! Once we made sure to adhere as closely as possible she hardly ever cried.

[bewise]

DD will be 2 in a few weeks

She goes to an in home daycare.

She is obsessed with Donald Duck (really anything Mickey related, but especially Donald for some reason). She also loves to read books and go swimming. She hates eating meat of any sort.

She was a really easy baby once we got her on acid reflux medicine. She still is pretty easy...so I hope that continues. Our biggest struggle was getting her to walk. She didn't walk independently until almost 19 months after some physical therapy and braces. She still currently wears braces on her ankles and probably will for a couple more years...but they help her a lot and she loves them.

[applemuffins]

Age(s)/sex(es)? 3.5, girl

School year/preschool/daycare? Goes to daycare twice a week. It's not much, but we have free childcare from MIL. I just wanted her to have some exposure to school. I work at the daycare (Not her class) so that's another reason why.

Likes and dislikes? Pretty dresses, pig tails, Daniel tiger, Mickey mouse club house. Pretend play- she is constantly having pretend conversations with imaginary people. She loves bacon. She's a meat eater in general, but had gotten much better about veggies and does well with fruit. Loves soccer and playing "fetch" lol and books. She hates bugs of all kinds, even butterflies. She dislikes sleeping by herself. Doesn't like to be messy, and doesn't like loud noises, even the sound of the toilet flushing.

Were they generally easy or difficult as a baby, and anything you learned and want to share? She was medium I would say. She was a strong mommy's girl. Only recently she started letting DH do stuff for her actually. I had to hold her a lot, including for sleep. She would not sleep without me. Even still she prefers to snuggle right up against me. So, that made it hard. She still wakes up most nights, wanting me to sleep with her. But she is otherwise a very well behaved kid. She's pretty calm and doesn't get into too much trouble.

I learned that you just have to go with the flow. If something isn't working, like sleep training, just let it go. It will be less stress for everyone. I spent so much time worrying that it was just me doing something wrong, or spoiling her or something, but as she has grown, I've been able to see more and more that it's just her personality.

[mreve]

Age(s)/sex(es)? 21 month old boy (when he's 2 I'll stop counting in months, right? I'm starting to feel like it's annoying but a one year old changes so much, and he's even so different from 18 months.)

School year/preschool/daycare? He's stuck at home with me 😉.

Likes and dislikes? He loves eating, reading, and being outside. He loves his cats and takes his "chore" of feeding them very seriously. The only thing he really dislikes is being told "no".

Were they generally easy or difficult as a baby, and anything you learned and want to share? He was a pretty good baby and always ate and slept well, which in my experience seem to be the two biggest stresses in the first year. I learned that I could do this and to not second guess myself! I've also realized that each age/stage we've gone through so far has its good and bad aspects, and to try to enjoy the fun things while knowing that the not-so-fun things will pass/change.

[starsandshamrocks123]

wineoclock my little guy has glasses too. We definitely had a transition period-- he got them around 1.5.

[wineoclock]

Apr 11, 2017 21:05:16 GMT -5 starsandshamrocks123 said:

wineoclock my little guy has glasses too. We definitely had a transition period-- he got them around 1.5.

I thought it was going to be a struggle but I think he can finally see so much better which is an incentive to keep them on. My son has a pretty severe astigmatism in both eyes but the left more so than the right. We just got the glasses the beginning of the month and go back in early June to see if any eye patching will be required.

How did they catch your son's need for glasses so early? We had no idea until his 3 year old well visit that anything was off and I felt so guilty that we didn't know sooner. 😩

[starsandshamrocks123]

Apr 11, 2017 21:11:42 GMT -5 wineoclock said:

Apr 11, 2017 21:05:16 GMT -5 starsandshamrocks123 said:

wineoclock my little guy has glasses too. We definitely had a transition period-- he got them around 1.5.

I thought it was going to be a struggle but I think he can finally see so much better which is an incentive to keep them on. My son has a pretty severe astigmatism in both eyes but the left more so than the right. We just got the glasses the beginning of the month and go back in early June to see if any eye patching will be required.

How did they catch your son's need for glasses so early? We had no idea until his 3 year old well visit that anything was off and I felt so guilty that we didn't know sooner. 😩

It was weird, right around his 1st birthday his right started crossing in. DH thought I was crazy but like a week later it was suddenly really bad we took him straight to a pedi ophthalmologist. I was relieved that it was just a vision thing and not all of the scary other google search stuff.

We tried patching for 8 months for 2 hours a day. It was awful and I hope we don't have to do it again. FX your kiddo doesn't need to patch or is much more compliant than DS. His daycare really helped and I bought fun ones for him. He sees straight with the glasses but as soon as they are off, he will still cross the eye. Might grow out of it or need surgery. But now the glasses are second nature for him. I let him pick them color that we just ordered.

I see more and more kids with glasses now and DS doesn't feel different anymore. People we don't know seem to ask a lot of questions but I've been impressed when I hear parents explain to their kids if they ask why DS has glasses.

[trebletrouble13]

Age(s)/sex(es)? DS is 20 months old.

School year/preschool/daycare? Home with me 24/7! When I went back to work part-time (only lasted 4 weeks), my dad watched him and loved it. My parents or aunts come over and watch him when I need to go somewhere for an appointment.

Likes and dislikes? Loves hugs, "nuggles", and nose boops, Sesame Street, counting, "reading" books (especially his Cthulhu alphabet book), learning new words, bananas, blueberries (okay, pretty much all fruit), slides, and loves mommy more than anyone else. Dislikes mommy leaving (even sometimes just going into the kitchen), being stuck in the cart at the store (unless he has a banana), being hungry or tired. Little man gets hangry.

Were they generally easy or difficult as a baby, and anything you learned and want to share? DS has always been a fairly easy child. He sleeps well at night, nursed well (and eats well now), and has always been a happy, active little guy. I call him my unicorn baby. I'm anticipating this baby will be completely different and I'll learn what most of my mom friends have had to go through with their babies.

[sdlaura]

These are so fun to read!

DD is 4.5 and DS is 3.

They've both been in FT care since 3.5 months, first at an in home daycare and then at our local YMCA preschool since age 2.5 for DS and 3 for DD. DD will start kindergarten in the fall.

DD loves drawing/art, being a 'leader' (what we try to say instead of 'bossy') and her blankie, and she has a mild obsession with soft clothing tags. She acts as her brother's spokesperson - he has trouble getting a word in sometimes.

DS loves his toy cranes and trucks, figuring out how things work, and cuddling, especially with me. The kid has amazing fine motor skills - like he has liked to take my earrings out and put them back in since before he was 2. He hates being beaten at anything by his sister, which is tough since she's bigger, faster, and more coordinated.

Both kids love swimming, climbing, being read to, and Paw Patrol.

Neither kid is a fan of vegetables.

Funny how many good first babies there are, and I think you're all right that the next baby may be different! That's how it was for us anyway.

DD was an easy baby because she ate well and was an incredible sleeper. She was a big baby and gained weight fine so we never woke her to eat and she was sleeping 8 hours straight by about a month. She did have a breastmilk intolerance that didn't improve even after I cut dairy and soy - with DS we figured out it was wheat- but she was so much more comfortable after we switched to formula at 3 months.

DS was a fine eater but never slept more than 3-4 hours at a time until we sleep trained at 6 months. And he wasn't the kind of kid who woke, ate, and went back to sleep at night. We did TONS of bouncing on the yoga ball at night, like pinecone21. Luckily sleep training worked great and he's been a great sleeper since about 9 months. Both kids go to sleep on their own and still nap well, which I'm really really hoping baby #3 will be on board with too.

Both kids had major witching hours in the evenings for the first couple months but responded well to the Happiest Baby techniques. honda13 it's amazing how well the roughly 3-hour eat/play/sleep routine worked for us too, during the newborn phase.

[violetrose]

Age(s)/sex(es)? DD is 2y7m old and DS is 16m.

School year/preschool/daycare? They stay home with me currently. If I can hopefully get DD to potty train by the summer, she will be starting preschool in the early fall. She wants absolutely nothing to do with potty training though so we'll see.

Likes and dislikes? DD loves coloring, Trolls and Frozen. She loves learning games and is really quick to pick up on almost anything. She's a smart cookie. DS loves all things cars/trucks right now. He is a busy kid and loves running around/playing outside.

Were they generally easy or difficult as a baby, and anything you learned and want to share? DD was a nightmare baby. My labor and delivery with her was horrible and I wouldn't wish it my worst enemy. She was a really fussy baby and difficult to please. She is still a very strong willed child and pushing my buttons on everything. DS was a super easy/quick delivery and was a dream baby. She hardly ever cried, slept great, and is just an all around sweet and easy toddler. He has his moments like any young toddler, but he's far easier than DD ever was. I've just learned to go with the flow. What works for one kid most likely won't work for the other and I'm always learning new things about my kids every day.

[starsandshamrocks123]

So fun hearing these!

DS is almost 3

Been in daycare since 14 weeks, now in the preschool room

Likes Mickey Mouse, superwhy, yogurt and smoothies, our kitties, and the color green. Likes his friends at school and showing off all he learns. Randomly busts out in song. Likes finding letters from his name in real life. Can spot the letter B (his first initial) from a mile away
Dislikes: being alone, veggies, sitting still or being confined (never could handle the crib), being yelled at.

My pregnancy with DS was much easier but I was just really emotional. delivery was a nightmare. I can't say he's been easy. He never stopped eating, never slept, and has always been go-go-go. He never stayed put. Crawled around 6 months, started walking at 9 months. And he's been into everything since. He's started talking pretty early and has a lot to say. Yet he can't grasp the concept of potty training or sleep. He's the sweetest kid but so so sensitive... He expresses emotions physically. Hugs and kisses. But also hits and bites.

This might be an UO but I think parents tend to take credit for things their kids do early, etc. I really didn't do anything to make him crawl walk or talk early. He's just that way, it's all him. I'm often bothered by people who think they are great parents because their 1.5 year old sits politely through a dinner out because "we take her out all the time and she knows how to behave". Well guess what, I take my son out to dinner a ton too, and he just cannot sit there for an hour and be content. Or the parents who say "he knows how to sleep because we've always had the same bedtime routine". Well so have we, always, and he doesn't sleep. Maybe he's just not a sleeper and you're lucky and your kid is... just my thoughts I guess

Anyway, I've been emotionally solid this pregnancy and I'm convinced DD is going to be the opposite. She is going to despise being hugged. She is going to prefer to be left alone. Maybe she won't have anything to say until she's 3.5. I cannot wait to see how different they are. And when she doesn't sleep ever or can't sit through a meal, then I can put my foot in my mouth and acknowledge that it's actually my fault 😂

[applemuffins]

starsandshamrocks123 it's so true!!! People love to brag about stuff like that, like eating "she's a great eater because we always offer her a variety. We didn't do baby foods!" Great, I offer her everything we eat too, but the girl has never, ever liked a cooked carrot. They all have different tastes, man. And same for sleeping. I tried all the sleep training methods, followed a routine, etc. Girl just doesn't like to be alone. And as she gets older and these same habits stick or show up in other ways, it makes it easier for me to realize it wasn't me. It's just her personality! I work in a daycare and had a set of twins last year and I would have conversations with the mom about how one is really good and the other more difficult. They're being raised the same way by the same parent so it's clearly not her methods, just their personality.

[wineoclock]

While I'll agree that some kids are just more agreeable by nature, I absolutely think what the parents do has a lot to do with the child's demeanor and behavior.

I find that it's common for parents to back off when a child expresses discontent mostly because it's what is easier in the moment. Unfortunately, these choices typically make things more difficult in the long run. For example, eating habits... A family tries to get their child to sit and eat a variety of healthy foods. The child wants no part of it. The family says "didn't work for my kid, tried it" fast forward to the 6 year old who will only eat 4 foods. Or sleeping, the family tried sleeping training or techniques. The child didn't care for it. The family responds "I tried and she will only sleep in my bed with me, we all need sleep" fast forward to the child still sleeping with the parents while dad complains and sleeps in the guest room.

Obviously people do what works for them and if you don't mind cooking separate meals and prefer to cosleep with your children then to each their own and you do you. But most of the work you put in to developing positive habits early on pays out in dividends later on.

I'll zip up my flame suit but I think parenting choices has a lot to do with children's behavior and I absolutely take credit for my sons positive behavior because my husband and I put in a lot of effort into our parenting choices.

[mreve]

Can I sit on both sides of this one? I definitely think that parenting plays a big role, but can also see (esp. with siblings) that each kid has different personalities that have a large influence.

I think milestones like rolling/crawling/walking are very kid dependent, and parents can't take a lot of credit for those. Like I said, DS has always slept and eaten well, and there are things I did very deliberately to try to encourage that, but I've always been hesitant to take credit until I have a sample larger than one.

[PA Mom]

I agree with mreve. My siblings and I were so different with the same parents. Clearly, parent effort does make a difference though. From working in a school for 15 years, you can tell the parents who at least try.

[applemuffins]

There is definitely a role from parents, yes of course. And until I had my own kid, I would have largely agreed that parents play the bigger role. But we tried sleep training my kid. Multiple times. She would cry until she vomited, and there was zero progress from night to night. She wasn't having it. Then, we tried again (again again) when she got older and the crying was different. She was less panicked, didn't vomit, etc. She was upset yes, but it was different. She just wasnt ready before, plain and simple. My kid is super well behaved in public, not because we took her out a ton, but because her overall demeanor lends itself towards that kind of behavior.

[sdlaura]

wineoclock, I mostly agree with you, but I would have agreed with you even more before having my second kid!

[pinecone21]

I once read that parent reactions to babies play a large role in whether that baby turns out to be extroverted or introverted. If the baby is fussy a lot and not cuddly and avoids eye contact, parents tend to talk to the baby less, which makes the baby more introverted. I think extroverts have an easier time in our society (I'm an introvert), so from the beginning I talked and sang to DD all the time. And now she's super social and everyone loves her. I can't wait to try this on the new baby.

So I do think that parents play a large role, even with unconscious behavior like body language or the amount of talking we do. My sister complains that her toddler is late to talk and doesn't sleep well, but I can link most of that to her choices - she doesn't talk much to the kid, did a lot of bed sharing and breastfeeding on demand in bed all night, refuses to sleep train for longer than a night or two, etc. She's going to have another baby soon too, so we'll see!

[starsandshamrocks123]

wineoclock I know what you're saying. Im definitely not trying to avoid responsibility (especially when it comes to behavior) or anything. I just remember it being super frustrating that DS was not sleeping and my coworkers son, same age, came out of the womb knowing how to sleep through the night. They just thought they were smart parents because their son slept. "We just give him a bath every night before bed and he knows it's bedtime, it's not hard" I read all the books, emphasized routine consistently. I worked really hard to figure out what I was doing wrong and what would work for DS. I thought there was something wrong with me/him. Maybe I WAS doing something wrong, but I don't necessary think that my coworker and his wife were magical masters of knowing how to get their son to sleep either. I think part of it was their son was just that way, and perhaps my son was not. It was incredibly frustrating! And I was really jealous!

I wish I had realized that maybe you can do all the right things and it still doesn't always work.

Now I'm prepared this time and I know I'll survive. I will feel really bad for my coworker when he has another baby who does not magically sleep through the night immediately and they realize that maybe they lucked out with #1. Who knows.

[starsandshamrocks123]

Apr 12, 2017 10:35:59 GMT -5 applemuffins said:

There is definitely a role from parents, yes of course. And until I had my own kid, I would have largely agreed that parents play the bigger role. But we tried sleep training my kid. Multiple times. She would cry until she vomited, and there was zero progress from night to night. She wasn't having it. Then, we tried again (again again) when she got older and the crying was different. She was less panicked, didn't vomit, etc. She was upset yes, but it was different. She just wasnt ready before, plain and simple. My kid is super well behaved in public, not because we took her out a ton, but because her overall demeanor lends itself towards that kind of behavior.

+1 to the crying until vomiting. It's tough!

[starsandshamrocks123]

I wasn't trying to stir up anything, just probably some of my own insecurities at play, especially now that DD is almost here. Like will she have the same tendencies as DS (both good and bad)? And if she's a better sleeper I can accept that it's not me failing at sleep training, but if she's also not great then I'll have to accept that maybe it's me!!

[pinecone21]

Apr 12, 2017 11:37:49 GMT -5 starsandshamrocks123 said:

I wasn't trying to stir up anything, just probably some of my own insecurities at play, especially now that DD is almost here. Like will she have the same tendencies as DS (both good and bad)? And if she's a better sleeper I can accept that it's not me failing at sleep training, but if she's also not great then I'll have to accept that maybe it's me!!

I don't think you stirred up anything. It's a good discussion, and everyone is being respectful. Although this is such a tame board, maybe we need a good flame war! 😝

[sdlaura]

Out of curiosity, for those of you with the crying till vomiting kids (my nephew was one, and I really feel for you!) at what age did you first try sleep training and that happened?

[wineoclock]

starsandshamrocks123 I can see where you're coming from with your coworkers situation vs your own. You (general you) could do the exact same routines with two different children and have different outcomes just based on the child. Admittedly, my son is exactly like his father... Very go with the flow and agreeable. If this one is more like me I better break out the wine and tissues now.

My point was more to the end that the choices we make as parents do have a large bearing on the child both short and long term and sometimes the amount of effort you put into developing routines with your child relates to the outcome directly. I'm a teacher and a former nanny which probably plays into my insights of parenting as well. I see a lot of parenting "short cuts" on a day to day basis and it's my opinion that the juice isn't worth the squeeze. I'd rather go through hell for the short term to develop good habits long term.

sdlaura I could be singing a very different tune after June 13th when this LO is born.