MH didn't even touch this baby today. He didn't kiss her or tell her he loved her. I just can't imagine going even an hour without telling her I love her.
Did you ask him why? Is he afraid of her?
I didn't ask why. I just made sure to point it out and I got the "great, here we go again about me being a shitty parent"
Ugh. We lost power. So no nightlight when R wakes up to tell me if I need to pick her up or just shove me nipple in her mouth. Or where her mouth even is for that matter since she likes to move all around when she sleeps now.
I'm kind of freaking out. Maybe I should just take her to the couch when she wakes up the first time so at least I'll be holding her. I have no idea where our flashlights are. And Blake cleaned off the bathroom counters and "put away" my things, like my candles and lighters, and now I have no idea where they are either.
I don't even know why we lost power! I really hope it doesn't take long for it to come back on.
Okay, I just reported the outage so I could get an update. Apparently the cause is listed as equipment failure and they're estimating 3 hours before it's restored. Deep breaths. I can last that long, right?
Ugh. We lost power. So no nightlight when R wakes up to tell me if I need to pick her up or just shove me nipple in her mouth. Or where her mouth even is for that matter since she likes to move all around when she sleeps now.
I'm kind of freaking out. Maybe I should just take her to the couch when she wakes up the first time so at least I'll be holding her. I have no idea where our flashlights are. And Blake cleaned off the bathroom counters and "put away" my things, like my candles and lighters, and now I have no idea where they are either.
I don't even know why we lost power! I really hope it doesn't take long for it to come back on.
I've been using my cell phone light at night because I can't stand not seeing her face when I open my eyes. I need to know she is breathing and the blanket hasn't moved up. Would that work for you?
Post by mustloveerica on Apr 18, 2017 0:55:34 GMT -5
Im having a really hard time with this tonight. I actually yelled at her to stop. Like that's really going to help the situation. Now I'm having mom guilt and the screaming is eating away at me.
Well all my bedtime experiment did was push her witching hour back. So it's almost 2am and I haven't slept yet.
I understand why people get to the point that they shake their babies.
I'm sorry friend I got M up around midnight and she isn't asleep yet. I rocked her for 40 minutes after feeding, then put her on me where she fell asleep but woke up needing a change, Now she is chewing on her hand in the RNP. She isn't hungry, I just gave her 3 ounces of boob juice and she normally gets 2.
Im having a really hard time with this tonight. I actually yelled at her to stop. Like that's really going to help the situation. Now I'm having mom guilt and the screaming is eating away at me.
Don't beat yourself up. Set her down, walk away and breathe.
Okay, I just reported the outage so I could get an update. Apparently the cause is listed as equipment failure and they're estimating 3 hours before it's restored. Deep breaths. I can last that long, right?
I didn't ask why. I just made sure to point it out and I got the "great, here we go again about me being a shitty parent"
I'm sorry. Hopefully you guys can get on the same page soon. Maybe you should have a conversation with him about your expectations?
We've had many conversations. Problem is he says he just wants to do all of the chores and cooking and I do all the baby things. I guess I just don't understand why he doesn't love her like I do.
I'm about 95% on the OAD train. I will not have a second with MH if he is going to be like this.
*hugs* Give him some time before making a decision like that. How is he with change? Maybe he's just overwhelmed or doesn't know what to do?
I don't know what he is but I'm perfectly content with just M. After 2 years of TTC and finally getting our baby, another one would cripple our relationship even more.
Ugh. We lost power. So no nightlight when R wakes up to tell me if I need to pick her up or just shove me nipple in her mouth. Or where her mouth even is for that matter since she likes to move all around when she sleeps now.
I'm kind of freaking out. Maybe I should just take her to the couch when she wakes up the first time so at least I'll be holding her. I have no idea where our flashlights are. And Blake cleaned off the bathroom counters and "put away" my things, like my candles and lighters, and now I have no idea where they are either.
I don't even know why we lost power! I really hope it doesn't take long for it to come back on.
I've been using my cell phone light at night because I can't stand not seeing her face when I open my eyes. I need to know she is breathing and the blanket hasn't moved up. Would that work for you?
That's what I tried and it woke her up. :/ So now we're in the living room and I'm trying to rock her back to sleep.
I'm sorry. Hopefully you guys can get on the same page soon. Maybe you should have a conversation with him about your expectations?
We've had many conversations. Problem is he says he just wants to do all of the chores and cooking and I do all the baby things. I guess I just don't understand why he doesn't love her like I do.
Just because he doesn't show physical affection doesn't mean he doesn't love her just as much as you do. I promise.
Im having a really hard time with this tonight. I actually yelled at her to stop. Like that's really going to help the situation. Now I'm having mom guilt and the screaming is eating away at me.
Lay her down and get some fresh air. Is your h up? Can you get him to help you?
I've been using my cell phone light at night because I can't stand not seeing her face when I open my eyes. I need to know she is breathing and the blanket hasn't moved up. Would that work for you?
That's what I tried and it woke her up. :/ So now we're in the living room and I'm trying to rock her back to sleep.
Oh man H gets annoyed that my cell light is on all night but until we have a better solution this is what I do.
M is use to my cell light so it's not waking her up yet.
We've had many conversations. Problem is he says he just wants to do all of the chores and cooking and I do all the baby things. I guess I just don't understand why he doesn't love her like I do.
Just because he doesn't show physical affection doesn't mean he doesn't love her just as much as you do. I promise.
That's why he tells me he loves the dog more than her?
Im having a really hard time with this tonight. I actually yelled at her to stop. Like that's really going to help the situation. Now I'm having mom guilt and the screaming is eating away at me.
Lay her down and get some fresh air. Is your h up? Can you get him to help you?
He says it's my turn tonight. Plus I'm not the one that goes to work during the day. So I don't feel right making him get up. I don't know why tonight is so bad. I'm normally much more patient with her. But my head is pounding. I'm exhausted.
Post by mustloveerica on Apr 18, 2017 1:24:12 GMT -5
jennykat I'm so sorry girl. Sounds like we're having the same night. DH thinks I nap during the day too. Hello we have twins. One of them is almost always awake. Thankfully he is willing to take turns with me with the difficult baby. But I'm really having a hard time tonight and he says it's not his turn. I know that, dude. But can't you see that I'm over whelmed?
Post by mustloveerica on Apr 18, 2017 1:25:46 GMT -5
onesweetworld I think YH will feel differently when she's more interactive. The newborn stage is weird for some people. It's hard to bond with something that doesn't interact with you.
Hugs @jennycat. My h was the same way in the beginning, except replace epilepsy with psychosis. It's rough. He's still not much better with letting me nap. No matter when she ate last he always comes in after like 20 minutes claiming that she wants to nurse. It drives me crazy. I know he does it because he just doesn't want to deal with her. But when I need his help middle of the night he's gotten a little better. I hope your h realizes you need him to be an adult an own up to his responsibilities sooner than later.
Lay her down and get some fresh air. Is your h up? Can you get him to help you?
He says it's my turn tonight. Plus I'm not the one that goes to work during the day. So I don't feel right making him get up. I don't know why tonight is so bad. I'm normally much more patient with her. But my head is pounding. I'm exhausted.
Yeah, his turn our not you need him. I wouldn't back down on this. If you're so overwhelmed you feel like screaming you need his help. We all reach our breaking points eventually and being turned away from the only support you have is unacceptable. I would keep pestering and make him understand.
mustloveerica I am sorry you are having a rough night also. And I totally feel you on the mom guilt too. I feel bad that I'm frustrated with her. Especially with the IF battle. I've wanted this for years. This is what I wanted so badly.
Right?
So I should be thankful and shut my mouth. I should be grateful that I'm in this situation at all. And I am! But man...
I don't drink and I need a fucking drink.
No matter how much you love her and no matter how much you went through to get her, if doesn't change how difficult and overwhelming it is. You're allowed to not enjoy every moment. You're even allowed to absolutely hate it. It's hard. It sucks. That doesn't change just because of IF.
No matter how much you love her and no matter how much you went through to get her, if doesn't change how difficult and overwhelming it is. You're allowed to not enjoy every moment. You're even allowed to absolutely hate it. It's hard. It sucks. That doesn't change just because of IF.
Thank you. Seriously. I really needed to be told this.
I went through the same feelings. I constantly had thoughts of wanting to take it all back. That maybe this wasn't what I wanted after all. But then my body adjusted to whatever hormone it is that makes you sleepy when you breastfeed and I wasn't dead tired all the time and the baby blues cleared up and she was screaming less and then it all just clicked.
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