Post by lulu on May 12, 2017 15:12:05 GMT -5
So I've been absent for a wee while as things at home became just awful with DH's sudden 180 change of opinion about letting his mum have the kids unsupervised in her house.
DH lost the plot and blamed me for turning his family against him then everyone refused to come to DD2s baptism - again, my fault.
I basically couldn't take the stress anymore and feared for my marriage, so threw my hands in the air and yelled "fine, fucking take the kids".
DH was immediately delighted and I was distraught and hugely critical of myself for what I thought was me choosing DH over the safety of my kids. I felt sick, so bowed out for a bit.
I kind of thought you would all be sick of hearing about my problems too so wanted to give everyone a break.
Anyway - I'm feeling much better and stronger now and can give a wee update.
DH was working when all this happened and the Health Visitor popped over just to check on DD2 after her jags. During the visit she asked how my postnatal anxiety was so I spilled all about MIL, BIL, the drugs, the impact on DH and I etc.
She was horrified and basically said - if we let MIL have unsupervised access in her home, she will contact social services and they will become involved.
I needed to hear this. I needed to hear I wasn't wrong for sticking to my beliefs despite the harm it was doing to my marriage.
It also gave me strength to face DH and tell him it's not just me who stands by this decision, but professionals too and that by letting his mum watch the kids, we are opening ourselves up to all kinds of risks and basically inviting social services and the police into our family - all because of his bitch mother.
I took the brave step of asking the Health Visitor to come back to the house once DH was home (early June) and she agreed to sit him down and read him the riot act. He won't listen to me with regards to his mum, but he will be 100% receptive to the HV.
I manned up and told him about her visit and what she intended to do. He was actually ok about it.
He knows it's not safe at his mums house and he knows he's acted like a dick to me. But, he also needs an "outsider" to point this out to him.
I think too it will work out well because he can now tell his mum that social services won't allow the kids to be in her house - that removes the responsibility from him.
Bonus....his mum despises social services and the police so when she finds out that they have made this decision and agreed with me, she will probably choke and die.
Anyway - thanks for reading and for all your support. I really appreciated all the comments saying you would never allow your kids to stay in those circumstances. It made me able to stand up for myself.
DH lost the plot and blamed me for turning his family against him then everyone refused to come to DD2s baptism - again, my fault.
I basically couldn't take the stress anymore and feared for my marriage, so threw my hands in the air and yelled "fine, fucking take the kids".
DH was immediately delighted and I was distraught and hugely critical of myself for what I thought was me choosing DH over the safety of my kids. I felt sick, so bowed out for a bit.
I kind of thought you would all be sick of hearing about my problems too so wanted to give everyone a break.
Anyway - I'm feeling much better and stronger now and can give a wee update.
DH was working when all this happened and the Health Visitor popped over just to check on DD2 after her jags. During the visit she asked how my postnatal anxiety was so I spilled all about MIL, BIL, the drugs, the impact on DH and I etc.
She was horrified and basically said - if we let MIL have unsupervised access in her home, she will contact social services and they will become involved.
I needed to hear this. I needed to hear I wasn't wrong for sticking to my beliefs despite the harm it was doing to my marriage.
It also gave me strength to face DH and tell him it's not just me who stands by this decision, but professionals too and that by letting his mum watch the kids, we are opening ourselves up to all kinds of risks and basically inviting social services and the police into our family - all because of his bitch mother.
I took the brave step of asking the Health Visitor to come back to the house once DH was home (early June) and she agreed to sit him down and read him the riot act. He won't listen to me with regards to his mum, but he will be 100% receptive to the HV.
I manned up and told him about her visit and what she intended to do. He was actually ok about it.
He knows it's not safe at his mums house and he knows he's acted like a dick to me. But, he also needs an "outsider" to point this out to him.
I think too it will work out well because he can now tell his mum that social services won't allow the kids to be in her house - that removes the responsibility from him.
Bonus....his mum despises social services and the police so when she finds out that they have made this decision and agreed with me, she will probably choke and die.
Anyway - thanks for reading and for all your support. I really appreciated all the comments saying you would never allow your kids to stay in those circumstances. It made me able to stand up for myself.
