Post by brandiewine11 on May 14, 2017 20:55:55 GMT -5
R will occasionally hit or kick (when I've picked him up to remove him from a situation for example). I stop him and tell him "no. I know you are angry but I will not let you hurt me. Hitting hurts and is not nice." If he doesn't stop I walk away and leave the room. I tell him why and that I'll come talk with him when he is calm. The walking away works quickly. Then we can talk about it and how he can act differently when he's angry.
The couple of times he has thrown a toy I do the same but the toy also goes away for a period of time.
I know this isn't popular around here, but in my house hitting/kicking/pinching people is an automatic time out. It's just not allowed, and when they're that little I've never seen a change in behavior after a discussion when they're that mad. Sometimes we discuss it after time out. This is the age when kids test to find out what the limits are. I won't generalize, but my own kids behave better and seem happier when the limits are clear. Good luck!
Post by Crisco Salad on May 15, 2017 5:16:54 GMT -5
I do what Brandie does.
When I'm in a situation where it's not as easy to get up and walk away, I tell him if he puts his hands on me again, I'm going to have to hold them because I won't allow him to display that behavior and it hurts me. I will not allow him to hurt me or anyone else.
We also have the book Hands are Not For Hitting and he usually responds well to it, enjoys reading it and has displayed some coping mechanisms as a result.
I kind of 50/50 what brandie does and the other half I actually get closer to her and wrap her up on my lap and say "I won't let you X. I'm going to hold you here until your body is calm" I also do that like for diaper changes when she wants to run away. It's hard- she's getting strong. But often when she's mad or throwing things she needs more attention and touch than to be left. Other times I do just have to walk away.
I think that Janet Lansbury covers this (if you want advice from an expert). She would likely say that this is a "new baby" form of attention grab and totally normal development (and then give tips and words for dealing with it).
In my case I would physically hold his hands so that he can't hurt me and then ignore him and the behavior. Basically take away his ability to do harm and then take away the emotional interest in doing harm. Often I'll ignore by doing something else like eating or focusing on the task that we were doing. Or I'll redirect with whatever we were doing. Like, "I'm holding your hands until I can trust that you won't hurt me. Should we read a book while I'm nursing the baby?"
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