Unsolicited Advice, congrats and hugs!

[mladerri]

Hi June 17! June 16 would like to bestow upon you all our incredible and unmatched knowledge (feel the sarcasm here) as you begin welcoming your little ones into the world.

First of all HOORAY!! for being so close to done with pregnancy and getting to meet your child/children. And getting to have wine again, and sleep on your back...

And now, June 16 ladies, feel free to offer congrats, advice for that first month, stuff you used a lot, things you never needed, hairpats, wine choices, gifs, etc.

Going tag some people to get this going: titania, GOmamab15, Stringy, frecklesnbrains, pbandj714, packerfan4life, amiet79, greysonsmom, Kevinmac, txmommy14, carolinaheart, nymama917, manybellsdown

[mladerri]

I'll start... Congrats on being oh so close to cuddling those sweet babies! Here is my advice
- Enjoy nap jail. They get so big so quickly and you'll never get sweet cuddles like you do in nap jail again.
- baby carriers are your friend. If you are feeling like you can't get anything done, stick that baby in a carrier and do what you need to do (laundry, get outside, target).
- your partner may not be helpful in the MOTN. figure out what works for your family. With baby #2, I had dh sleep in the basement so he was rested, nice and helpful starting at 5:30am. Some people take turns, some people do it all on their own... do what works for you and your family.
- June 16 swore by a few products: fisher price sit me up chair, oball toy, Fiona sports bra. Maybe others can add to the list, but buy those three things
- some babies don't like baths. Something that worked for me and my babes was to get in the bath with them and breastfeed them while in the bath. I only did this a couple times then the baths were easy after.
- if breastfeeding doesn't feel right, please get an appointment with a LC right away. Lactation consultants are so helpful.
- Don't worry about how you look. You just had a freaking baby. it took 9 months for you to gain the weight so give yourself a break and some time.

Most of all, good luck! We are all celebrating our babies one year birthdays this month and I can't believe how quickly it flew by. Babies are hard, but oh my goodness they are wonderful. Congrats J17!

[titania]

Hi!! I just saw that the first babies are being born! Yay! DD was the first, born 5/12, and set off a mini May baby boom, so get ready!

Here are some thoughts in no particular order! Enjoy snuggling during naps (and really all the time ) without making a to-do list in your head; try not to drive yourself crazy comparing your baby to others; fed is best; let other people help you and don't be afraid to ask for help; set boundaries and advocate for your family; remember that every phase passes (even the sucky ones that feel like forever); baby laughs are magical; watching them see the world around them is amazing; it's ok if not every day is a joy (this is so hard!); BE FLEXIBLE; don't stress too much about getting out of the house on-time (cause it's impossible ); be KIND and have PATIENCE with yourself! Remember you are doing your best and your baby loves you.

You all totally got this and will make wonderful mamas! Good luck and try to enjoy the ride!

[carolinaheart]

Hiiiiii. Congrats ya'll! I know y'all are so eager.

First and foremost: nothing is going to bring on your labor if that kid isn't ready. I tried ev.er.y.thing. Dates, pineapples, RRL tea, yoga ball, walking, pumping. I still went way overdue. Save your energy. Take a nap.

Now for actual parenting advice. Do not let any outsiders make you feel like you need to be doing something you don't feel comfortable with or that you're doing something wrong. Do not let your friends, family, coworkers, mail person, target cashier, etc pressure you about any parenting decision. Every single decision is between you and your partner and no one else. Do what works for your family. What worked for your aunt's mechanic's second cousin's baby might not work for your baby and that's okay.

Ask for help. It doesn't all have to be on you. Don't suffer in silence. Ask for help.

Do not hesitate to seek counseling if you think you might need it. I struggled so hard with PPA and I really feel a lot of it could have been alleviated if I had just recognized that my feelings were not "normal" and gotten help.

Like PPs said, enjoy nap jail. Snuggle that squish and don't feel guilty that they won't sleep in their crib because seriously, who gives a fuck.

Speaking of sleep, it will come. Eventually.

I know I probably have more. I'll probably be back.

[GOmamab15]

Yayyyy for newborns!!!! They're magical.

Take a day trip/baby moon/savor every moment before giving birth, if it's your first or if you're having a sibling, everything will change (for the better!) but this is your last chance. Take it!

Let someone take photos and or video right after birth!! You'll cherish that, no matter what you look like. (And really, you'll look like a badass who created life, a rockstar, and you'll want to remember it.)

Listen to your mommy gut. It's real. You're the mom. You and only you know what's best.

If you chose to breastfeed, have the baby on you boob constantly the first few days, do not worry about entertaining people who come visit you. Just feed your baby that's all you need to do.

The snuggle is real. Enjoy it. They're wiggly and uncooperative before you know it. Embrace the blob stage.

Time is going to move too quickly. At times you'll feel like it's going slow and then you'll blink and it's almost their birthday.

You've got this!!! Good luck!!

[packerfan4life]

You are all so close! Hoping you all have an easy end of pregnancy and smooth delivery.

I'll echo mladerri soak up those squishy snuggles. They get big so quickly.
Try to be kind to yourself. Things may not go the way you expect during labor, delivery or post-partum. But you will be holding your baby soon and it will all be worth it.
Ignore those annoying people whose baby slept through the night at 2 weeks. Either they're lying or their baby is a unicorn
You may not feel great about yourself after delivery but get on the other side of that camera. You are beautiful and you'll treasure those pictures of you with your baby
For those having a second(plus) your first baby will adjust and they will have the most amazing bond. It's not always easy but it's completely worth it

[manybellsdown]

^^Reading through these advice posts in these uncertain times... I just want to say I love you thoughtful ladies so much! 💜

Has been said but truly cannot be said enough: Enjoy the snuggles. These will pass.
Don't sweat the nights. These will pass (usually).
Communicate with your partner. Give yourself and each other a break. Otherwise it will be harder to pass.
Rock. N. Play. Inclined comfort for the newborn phase win. Get that sleep.
For those of you that try breastfeeding, the bf board will answer your question eventually (I hope!), and it will be helpful. Otherwise kellymom.com and lactation consultants are the best!
Bath time woes: place a wet, warmer than you'd think second washcloth over the baby's tummy. Much happiness usually results.
It can be hard in a community like this, but try not to compare your baby to others. Milestones happen in their own time. Trust your instincts, your pedi (or get a new one), and your baby.

You created a human! Wishing you all the best in labor, delivery, and beyond. Beyond will be here before you know it.

[sdlaura]

Thanks, ladies. Several of us are having our third kids, and I think bagels is having her fifth, but for me at least it has been a few years since my second, and some reminders can never hurt.

Happy first birthday soon to all of your babies!

[mladerri]

sdlaura shoot! You guys need to be dishing us the advice! STM here but for some reason I forgot everything since the first one (mom brain). bagels sorry did I read that right? Fifth?? *bowing* that's impressive!

[vivela]

Yes, enjoy nap jail... But also make sure your phone/book/entertainment of your choice is in reach BEFORE you sit down.

Good luck to all you moms and soon-to-be moms!

[ArgyleEnigma]

I will keep it general and just say: sometimes love is not like lightning. Sometimes love creeps, like a mist coming in. Do not worry, it will come.

The days are long but the years are short. Congratulations, all.

[manybellsdown]

May 19, 2017 17:07:05 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

Thanks, ladies. Several of us are having our third kids, and I think bagels is having her fifth, but for me at least it has been a few years since my second, and some reminders can never hurt.

Happy first birthday soon to all of your babies!

In that case, I need your advice! How to decide to go for 3?!

[eucalyptus]

This is awesome. Thanks! I'm tearing up reading your advice.

[sdlaura]

manybellsdown I'm not sure if I'm qualified to give advice on whether to have a third - given that DH and I both have full time jobs and our family lives 3,000 miles away, we are basically crazy .

My advice on babies is to let go of the mom guilt and do your best - all these tiny decisions that seem super important are not really that super important. I think parents should try to do their best and the kids will be fine. Baby snuggles are awesome, but don't feel guilty if you let baby fuss for two minutes while you brush your teeth!

[Kevinmac]

You are all so close, and I see some babies have even been born!

Nap jail, while it seems like torture, it's really a fantastic thing.

Just worry about you and the baby-that's all that matters right now. Dinner, cleaning, etc can wait.

Trust your gut and do what works for you. Others might suggest things or say what they think works best-that's not always the case for you.

I found getting out of the house everyday was wonderful. I can't tell you how many times I made it to Target or the grocery store just for one thing. I even brought the baby every time, but it was still great to get out for some air.

Shoot for small victories. Don't expect the baby to sleep where you want him/her right away. DS wound up sleeping on me most nights. Every night though I would attempt to get him in the rock n play. If he made it an hour then I considered that a win and would try for a bit longer the next night.

[Kevinmac]

And apparently when I'm ready for #2 this is the board to come to :-)

[frecklesnbrains]

Congratulations all!

My advice, especially in light of recent events on this forum, is to stay in touch. Your BMB can be your rock. It doesn't matter if you're a first time mom or a fifth time mom, every baby is different and every postpartum recovery is different. It takes a community to raise a child, so always ask for help and advice. There are no stupid questions, no wrong emotions, and no problems too big or too small.

[PA Mom]

Thank you ladies for your advice!

[bagels]

May 20, 2017 12:45:45 GMT -5 frecklesnbrains said:

Congratulations all!

My advice, especially in light of recent events on this forum, is to stay in touch. Your BMB can be your rock. It doesn't matter if you're a first time mom or a fifth time mom, every baby is different and every postpartum recovery is different. It takes a community to raise a child, so always ask for help and advice. There are no stupid questions, no wrong emotions, and no problems too big or too small.

Haha yes I am on kid 5, but still love reading posts like this . Always more to learn.
I especially agree with freckles, bmb's are my favorite so I'm very thankful for this group.

[bagels]

May 19, 2017 23:11:55 GMT -5 manybellsdown said:

May 19, 2017 17:07:05 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

Thanks, ladies. Several of us are having our third kids, and I think bagels is having her fifth, but for me at least it has been a few years since my second, and some reminders can never hurt.

Happy first birthday soon to all of your babies!

In that case, I need your advice! How to decide to go for 3?!

Personally I never felt done, so I didn't want to end up wondering later if I should have had one more. Which is interesting because both my OB and MFM mentioned to me this pregnancy that they wished they had gone for kid 3 or 4.
I feel at peace with 5 finally, so im not going to go all Duggar haha

[lindsay]

These are the best! Thanks for posting these guys. I just had to twins, and am nodding my head and smiling to a lot of these. It's so hard but so amazing.

[marshian]

Thanks everyone!

[sdlaura]

bagels, your logic totally makes sense to me. I'm worried I won't feel done after this baby, and our jobs/location relative to family aren't conducive to a larger family. People ask me if we're done and I say "probably" but I don't want to rule anything out yet.

[pbandj714]

Sorry I'm late! My weekend was crazy. Being a FTM to twins, my advice will be a little different from the rest. lindsay , girl, you've got this!

Congratulations, mamas! These babes are such precious gifts! Soak it all in!!

Lean on your spouse! Even when you're considering murder/divorce during one of those sleep-deprived MOTN fights (don't act like you've never done this), know that you will both get through the haze. Support each other!

If you're unable to BF or EBF, know that YOU are still an amazing mom. You are feeding your kid(s). End of story. I had a lot of guilt about my low supply and eventually having to quit and move on to formula. It was silly. I was feeding my babies, and they are happy and healthy!

Enjoy the cuddles. It's amazing how quickly they grow.

Make sure that someone takes pictures of you with your baby(ies). I wish I had more, and I regret not pestering my husband to take more of them.

Don't be too hard on yourself. If you have to put down the crying baby and walk away to collect yourself, it's okay! I had to let go of the expectation that I could keep my babies happy at all times. Both woke up hungry and had pooped? Someone had to cry while I took care of the other. But they were safe and I was doing my best. That's all that matters!

Don't worry about the state of your house when visitors come over. Seriously, if they're worried that you haven't vacuumed or done the dishes or mopped the floors, they don't need to be there. Or better yet, they can do those things for you!

Enjoy the little things. The everyday things that are so easy to overlook or forget with time. Those first little smiles and coos. The little burps. The stretches when they're released from their swaddle. I still tear up thinking about those tiny baby moments.

Congrats, ladies! And best of luck to you all!

ETA: I thought of more.

[bagels]

May 22, 2017 11:09:10 GMT -5 sdlaura said:

bagels, your logic totally makes sense to me. I'm worried I won't feel done after this baby, and our jobs/location relative to family aren't conducive to a larger family. People ask me if we're done and I say "probably" but I don't want to rule anything out yet.

Yeah there are a lot of other factors that played into our family size. Including being low risk, my being an online college student/SAHM, having a lot of family near by that help, and living in a relatively low COL area.