I thought she did say she was sick and people were like "leave your personal excuses elsewhere, no1curr, and that's not professional."
That was after she did the "let's talk in an announced/pinned thread at 8pm part". The time period between when she said "let's discuss at 8pm" and "I'm sick I need to stop now" was so damn short.
I wonder if she thought everyone would be satisfied with the business plan being posted and that there wouldn't be lots and lots of discussion. Or maybe she thought it would be more tame and when people started making personal digs, she realized she wasn't mentally equipped to deal with it at that moment. I'm not making excuses for her. I don't know admin. I'm just saying I think her missteps were a level 3 and people took it to a level 11.
From what I read, she said that she was sick and in the hospital and that she didn't have the time to answer because that's putting her baby at risk and omg you people are so demanding, telling me to risk my baby's health. That's a shitty response and insinuation.
I was also previously really pissed about some "article" she had posted on fb about CIO being akin to child abuse on the TCF page. There were a few weird things like that.
Frankly it seems to me that she wanted this forum to spur a site that would rival the bump, but had NO IDEA how to get there. So instead of admitting that, she kept digging herself further down. And the fact that the other 2 admins competely stepped away is not good.
It is possible that the other two admins are stepping away because they are hurt by the responses and hate they are/ have been receiving. They've done just as much work for this site and may feel they've done nothing to deserve someone burning it down. There are also irl friendships being tested and not everyone is separating it out as burning down admins site. They're also burning down Theo and biblios hard work.
I'm not saying admin hasn't made mistakes. I agree with your second statement. But it's a baby site and you post articles about baby things. Some will be pro CIO and some will be anti CIO- at least that's what I've seen on scary mommy or pregnant chicken - they post it all.
I also think the insinuation from admin was overblown. But I can't go back and find what she said about her health or the baby. There's too many damn posts.
I feel like people really need to step back and evaluate the reality. She is not a catfish. She has catfished no one. The things being thrown around and so far removed from what actually occurred and the level of "wtf" it deserves.
Post by erien22846 on May 22, 2017 15:18:29 GMT -5
becole, I appreciate your comments. I read through most of the pinned posts but I just wasn't drawing the same conclusions that many were. Admittedly I only occasionally lurked Parenting and have no history with Admin, but I couldn't figure out what I was missing that had people so damned upset.
I have been lurking the two new boards set up and I think they are realizing that you can't please everyone all the time. And being snarky and catty is going to make enemies. I understand people's feelings were hurt but the name calling the insinuations of being a catfish took it too far. Again, all this is given what I've read and my understanding of the situation. My opinion is subject to change with new information.
From what I read, she said that she was sick and in the hospital and that she didn't have the time to answer because that's putting her baby at risk and omg you people are so demanding, telling me to risk my baby's health. That's a shitty response and insinuation.
I was also previously really pissed about some "article" she had posted on fb about CIO being akin to child abuse on the TCF page. There were a few weird things like that.
Frankly it seems to me that she wanted this forum to spur a site that would rival the bump, but had NO IDEA how to get there. So instead of admitting that, she kept digging herself further down. And the fact that the other 2 admins competely stepped away is not good.
I do feel I need to respond to this. I'm not trying to defend Admin or argue with you. But I spent too many hours reading the pinned posts and come away with a different interpretation of events.
She NEVER said we were harming her baby. It was worded such that she wasn't going to put work ahead of her baby's health. Meaning she was going to focus on getting well before devoting time to responded to questions. This seem reasonable to me. Furthermore, that was written to a member through FB so we don't know the context of the comment. That was never her response to the board as a whole. HOWEVER, I think she stayed away too long. She could and should have responded sooner.
I don't follow TCF on FB so I don't know the nature of the articles posted. I imagine it's difficult as an admin to remain impartial when selecting articles so articles could have been biased. The right thing to do, imo, would be to post articles from several viewpoints. An article on the benefits of sleep training would have been appropriate to appeal to a different subset of parents. Given Admin's personal investment in this community, I doubt she did that.
I believe the other two admins stepped down AFTER this site imploded. I don't blame them. What a freaking mess. Them stepping down is not good for the site but I'm not drawing any conclusions on their opinions of Admin based on their departure.
I thought she did say she was sick and people were like "leave your personal excuses elsewhere, no1curr, and that's not professional."
That was after she did the "let's talk in an announced/pinned thread at 8pm part". The time period between when she said "let's discuss at 8pm" and "I'm sick I need to stop now" was so damn short.
My opinion is that she thought it was HG and was going to fight through it. It wasn't until later that she found out it was the flu.
It is also well documented that she didn't want to do it that night and felt compelled to based on popular opinion. She was wrong to ever start that thread knowing she didn't have support from the other admins to be present. The whole thing was doomed from the beginning.
However, it's also clear that she was never going to say or do the right thing to please everyone. She never should have mixed business with friendships (and enemies).
My F15 fb group is a "secret" group, so there's no world collision whatsoever. No one, besides people in the group, can see that I'm in the group. You don't have to be actual fb friends with anyone in the group in order to be in the group- you just get an invitation and can keep your profile totally private if you want. I am fb friends with all 38 of my F15 girls now and I've met a couple irl.
Hdbd, replying in conversations and tagging is much easier on fb than in forums, so that's a big positive.
I've never been part of an exclusively FB group but I'm on FB regularly so I'm sure I could make it work.
Ugh. I hate that there doesn't seem to be a one size fits all solution here.
My thing about the fb article - it was a junk fake science article. If it was someone's option piece presented as a viewpoint, that would be one thing. That was just bad judgment on her part to post it and then she didn't apologize at all or really acknowledge it was bad judgment- another admin took it down and going forward agreed that all 3 would have to agree on stuff like that being posted. This happened about a year ago and it was something that just stuck out in my mind, like, huh that's not cool.
I'm just bringing it up bc things like this have happened where she doesn't really acknowledge fault or be honest when things happen. Just... shady. And I know the other 2 admins just stepped down thus weekend, but that's what I'm saying... I think a forum needs more than 1 admin for judgment calls and now that there's only 1.
Oh wow. That article went against EVERYTHING this site was established to be. I had no idea that happened.
I don't know how this forum can survive. Obviously as long as she doesn't shut it down, people can post for eternity. It was a concern on D14 that she would make private boards public so everyone over there is deleting their posts. I don't see her as being vindictive like that but maybe I'm just a trusting (and naïve) person. I also understand others don't want to stick around and give her ad revenue (although that can't be much without active posters).
Like I said before, I just want to find somewhere we are all comfortable. Without tallying "votes", it seems many are ok staying here for the time being and I don't want you or anyone else to leave if we stay active here.
My F15 fb group is a "secret" group, so there's no world collision whatsoever. No one, besides people in the group, can see that I'm in the group. You don't have to be actual fb friends with anyone in the group in order to be in the group- you just get an invitation and can keep your profile totally private if you want. I am fb friends with all 38 of my F15 girls now and I've met a couple irl.
Hdbd, replying in conversations and tagging is much easier on fb than in forums, so that's a big positive.
My TK group did this...it was pretty active for the first year or so after our weddings. I think. I got kicked out for not posting enough and only "liking" things. Apparently that was "creepy" and grounds to get deleted.
My F15 fb group is a "secret" group, so there's no world collision whatsoever. No one, besides people in the group, can see that I'm in the group. You don't have to be actual fb friends with anyone in the group in order to be in the group- you just get an invitation and can keep your profile totally private if you want. I am fb friends with all 38 of my F15 girls now and I've met a couple irl.
Hdbd, replying in conversations and tagging is much easier on fb than in forums, so that's a big positive.
My TK group did this...it was pretty active for the first year or so after our weddings. I think. I got kicked out for not posting enough and only "liking" things. Apparently that was "creepy" and grounds to get deleted.
Heaven forbid you are busy and try to participate a little by liking if you don't have time to comment. I had a similar experience with my first bmb. They ended up moving to fb and leaving out anyone who didn't post "enough". The girls that got left behind are now my s14 crew and we all become super close.
Nov17 has jumped ship and I'm torn. I don't want to move yet again to a third forum... I already have my wedding board, you guys, my J14 and S16 on Facebook. It's tad excessive.
I don't want to be in a FB group because I don't want anyone to have my real name and be able to find my employer, my linked in, and well- me... that's what I meant about worlds colliding. This isn't really about you all - I like having the PB but still not having to use first and last name.
My thing about the fb article - it was a junk fake science article. If it was someone's option piece presented as a viewpoint, that would be one thing. That was just bad judgment on her part to post it and then she didn't apologize at all or really acknowledge it was bad judgment- another admin took it down and going forward agreed that all 3 would have to agree on stuff like that being posted. This happened about a year ago and it was something that just stuck out in my mind, like, huh that's not cool.
I'm just bringing it up bc things like this have happened where she doesn't really acknowledge fault or be honest when things happen. Just... shady. And I know the other 2 admins just stepped down thus weekend, but that's what I'm saying... I think a forum needs more than 1 admin for judgment calls and now that there's only 1.
I absolutely agree mistakes were made. I don't agree they add up to the level of hostility that has been shown. But I'm beating a dead horse now so I'll just stop.
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